


What the Future Holds

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mystery, Season/Series 03, Suspense, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-24
Updated: 2007-02-25
Packaged: 2018-12-27 07:03:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 111,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: My version of season 3. I wrote this before the season actually aired.





	1. Predictions

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

It was a cool night in Pittsburgh, so Emmett was happy to be inside.  Of course it didn’t hurt that he was at Woody’s on Body Builders Night, but it wasn’t very much fun alone.  He simply sat at the bar nursing his Sex on the Beach looking at all the tempting morsels he wanted, but could not touch. He finished off his drink, stood up, then did his best avoiding the succulent hardbodies that tempted him right down to his bones.  Everywhere he turned he saw a wink, a coy smile and other signs of flirtations that were ironically lacking when he was completely single.  Not that he didn’t have his fair share of beaus, but all this attention seemed a bit excessive.  It came from every direction, twisting and turning him until he felt dizzy.   

 

“Sweetheart, you should sit,” a voice said.

 

Emmett turned around and saw a familiar face.  

 

“Mysterious Marilyn,” he replied, relieved.  He took the seat offered to him then grabbed a napkin, dabbing at the small beads of sweat that had accumulated on his brow.  “Thanks, I was just feeling a bit…overwhelmed.”

 

“I see,” Marilyn said, shooing away a muscular man in a tight while T-shirt.   She watched carefully as the man walked away then turned her attention to the troubled man before her.  “I sense you have problems…”

 

“Yeah, well…” Emmett glanced around the room from man to man, finally ending back at Marilyn, who picked up her deck of tarot cards.  Emmett reached into his pocket, pulled out a 20-dollar bill and put it on the table.  “I have a question I need your guidance with.”

 

“That’s too easy, darlin’,” the drag queen responded, shuffling the cards.  “You already know the answer to _that_ question and it wouldn’t be fair for me to answer something you already know.  How about I do something more difficult?”  She placed the cards in front of Emmett and directed him to cut them, which he did.  “I’ll tell you what…I’ve been studying some older, non-traditional ways of spreading the cards.  In this one book I read, the old gypsy women used to tell the fortunes of an entire family.  How about that?  I can tell you the futures of the people you hold closest.”

 

“You can?”

 

“Of course,” Marilyn replied.  She moved her Ouijah board aside clearing the space between them.  “This is your reading, so I’ll read the cards as they face you.  We’ll make two rows of eight cards.  The row closest to you represent the seven most important people in your life and you.  Now, the tarot cards are broken up into two different sections, either Minor or Major Arcana. When I lay the cards for your family, it must be a card from the Minor Arcana.  If I draw a card from the Major Arcana, I’ll have draw another card and place it on top.  That won’t cancel out the first card, but add to it instead.  But, that only happens for complex people like Charles Manson, Jerry Falwell or Boy George.  After that I’ll lay out eight more cards, which will foretell the fate of you and your entire family.  Go it?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“Wonderful, we’ll begin with the family cards,” Marilyn replied flipping over the very first card.  “ _The Knight of Pentacles_.   This person is a very mature, reliable and organized person who finishes what they start.  He or she is a lot more dependable than they’ve every been given credit for.” The second card to appear was the _Page of Wands_.  “This person is consistently a loyal and faithful friend, though it may not always seem that way.”  

Next up: _The Tower_. “This is a card from the Major Arcana, which means this family member’s complex.”

 

“Must be Brian,” Emmett replied.

 

“Well, The Tower indicates a sudden change and probably not the most ideal one. This person has or is about to abandon a relationship of some type causing a great instability in his or her life.  Let me turn over another card.”

 

Marilyn turned over the second card and placed it over the card marked The Tower.  _Page of Swords_.  “Strange.  This person has a lot of untapped insight, someone who’s active and youthful.  Someone who’s adept at perceiving and uncovering that which isn’t obvious to others.  I bet this person is in transition as we speak.  Sounds like someone’s growing up.”

 

“It’s about time someone did,” Emmett said, watching the psychic turn over another card.  He saw a picture of a man holding a sword, which faced Marilyn instead of him.  “Is that card supposed to be upside down?”

“Unfortunately,” she sighed, “this is the _Ace of Swords…reversed_.  Someone in your family is in a bad place psychologically right now.  Overwhelmed by embarrassment, they are simply, existing hoping no one notices.  Right now, they’re in a place of complete self-destruction.  I wonder if they even know what’s happening?” 

Emmett looked at the card and wondered who that could possibly be.  His thoughts turned to Brian, but he chuckled at the thought.  Everyone knew Brian didn’t care about anyone but himself, so the thought of him being embarrassed didn’t make any sense.  Not quite sure what to make of the description, Emmett pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind while Marilyn turned over another card.  

“The _Queen of Cups_ is a woman, who is a good friend and mother, is loving and intelligent.  She also has a drive to care for others, though probably more than what people actually want from her.” 

“Oh, that’s Deb.”  

“Well, everyone deserves to have someone like this in their lives,” the psychic replied as another card was displayed showing the _Two of Wands_.  “This is an individual who goes out of their way to get everyone what they want, even at the cost of hurting themselves and sometimes others.  This person sticks by their principles even when it might not be beneficial.”

 

“Sounds like me.”

 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Marilyn replied.  “It’s not always easy to do the right thing when the right thing doesn’t seem fair.”

 

“Or when the right thing will only hurt a friend,” Emmett sighed.  “Especially when the friend is a best one and newly acquired boyfriend. A hopefully to-be-transferred from “newly acquired” boyfriend back to best friend, friend.  I’m making myself confused just thinking about it.”

 

“Don’t worry, in the end it’ll all work out,” Marilyn reassured the troubled man.  “I see your friendship growing, of course that’s **_after_** you and he have ‘the discussion’.”  She turned over another card, but ignored it for a moment, focusing on Emmett’s feelings instead.  “I wish I could tell you more, honey, but there are no revisions in life so I can only read what’s in the script.”

 

“I’m just going to be as optimistic as I can about this whole thing,” Emmett assured her.  He gripped her hand lightly before turning the focus back on the cards.  “Another upside down card.  Who’s the fashionably impaired guy carrying the star?”  

 

“He’s the _Page of Pentacles_ , which is reversed,” Marilyn replied looking down carefully at the card.  “Other than displaying an ungodly sense in hats, this card just means that a person is unrealistic.  They tend to think illogically and they fail to see things that are right in front of their face.  They tend to be ‘in denial’ and don’t usually act to hurt people intentionally.  Sadly, I know too many people like this.  They’re always trying to fix things that aren’t broken while ignoring things they could help.  Like my Aunt Rose.  She spent years trying to stop me dressing in drag, when maybe she should have focused on her husband…but, that’s another story.”

 

Marilyn giggled at the memory then turned over the last of the family cards.  She laughed out loud as the Major Arcana card was displayed revealing _The Hanged Man.  “Your family **is**_ complex, more complex than the plot to  Mulholland Drive,” she said looking at the card showing a man dangling upside down from his heel. “This person is in a period of respite between significant events.  They are making some changes, some readjustments in their life.  However, it may not always look that way.”  

 

Marilyn turned over the card that would add to and hopefully clarify the last card.   “ _The King of Swords_.”  Nodding her head, she explained, “This is a highly controlling, commanding man who always gets what he wants, largely at the expense of others. And that,” she said with a sigh, “is your family for better or worse, but mostly for the better.  Now for the fun part…what the future holds.”

 

From her left to her right, Marilyn laid 8 cards face down, mirroring the first eight cards on the table.  She placed the deck to the side and paused before continuing.  “I want to mention that just because the future card is placed next to a family card doesn’t mean they belong together.  This is a mix and match sorta thing.  And some people’s fate can only be told with multiple cards. I say that because there’s a whole lot of drama going on in your family right now.”

 

Emmett looked at the cards excitedly, though he had to admit he was a little nervous.  Mysterious Marilyn had a funny way of being right.  There were times when she wasn’t 100% on the nose, like when she claimed Justin would be a successful go-go dancer in Chelsea, NY, but she was close.  Justin did become a successful go-go dancer in Babylon for a short while, so he took Marilyn’s predictions very seriously.  “I hope its all sunshine and happy days.”

 

“Me too,” Marilyn agreed turning over the first card, which was the _Knight of Swords_.  “Ooh, good card.  Someone’s going to be very heroic.  I see someone saving a life.”

 

“Sounds like a good card to me,” Emmett said applauding lightly.  “Bring me more like that one!”

 

“Well, let’s see what’s next,” she replied, flipping over another card _.  “The Chariot…reversed_.  This means that someone will be overwhelmed by his or her recent failures.  They may be suicidal, but this is definitely someone you’ll need to look out for.”

 

Emmett looked at the card and did a mental inventory of his loved ones and shook his head in disbelief.  “Are you sure?”

 

“Don’t shoot the messenger,” Marilyn huffed.  She took that moment to sip from her water glass.  “Are you sure you want me to go on?” 

“Can’t get any worse,” Emmett answered, thinking that he may have just jinxed himself.  

“Ah, _The Two of Cups_.  We’re back on track,” she replied happy to have some good news follow the bad.  “A new love will flourish with an engagement, probably a wedding soon after.”

 

Emmett sighed relieved, “more like that, please.”

 

“When the engagement ring gets lost, remember that it’ll be stuck in the kitchen sink’s drain,” he added flipping over another card, which displayed the Knight of Wands…reversed.  

 

Emmett’s grin disappeared when he saw the card.  “I don’t like them upside down,” he said wishing a waiter would come by just so he could order himself a stiff drink.  Not that he was thirsty, but his nerves were starting to get to him.  

 

“Sorry, sweetie, but reversed cards aren’t necessarily bad,” she replied with a knowing smile. “But this one isn’t a huge surprise.  In fact, you’ve been waiting for this one.  This card means a relationship will break up, but then again, honey, you knew that when you walked in here tonight.  Just be honest with him and everything will work out in the end…trust me.”  She leaned over and rubbed Emmett’s shoulder sympathetically.

 

“Sometimes it’s just so hard to know what the right thing is,” he replied, his face showing the sadness he had tried to hide the entire evening.  He glanced around the room, his eyes automatically landing on the choicest of hunks like radar.

 

“Let’s see if there isn’t some better news,” Marilyn said, turning Emmett’s attention back to the cards.  “ _The Lovers_ , which is almost always a good card.  This means that someone in your family is going to fall in love.  I see that…they will fall…in love…again.  Look how this card comes right after the reversed Knight of Wands.  This most definitely was a couple that separated and they’ll re-unite for love.  How nice.”

 

“Actually,” Emmett said looking at the card with a picture of a naked man and woman holding hands.  “I kind of hope that it’s Brian and Justin.  Everything just seems…I don’t know…off…now that they’ve broken up.”

 

“You mean with the new boy around,” she asked, “…the romantic one?”

 

Emmett looked at Marilyn in disbelief.  It still gave him chills when she seemed to pull your life out of thin air.

 

“Yeah.  It’s not like I don’t like Ethan.  He’s an angel versus Mr. Asshole himself,” Emmett said, trying to explain what he hardly understood.  “And it’s not like Brian is ever around with his international ad campaign that sends him to sunny Australia while we peasants freeze in cold Pittsburgh.  It’s just that…it’s not the same anymore.”

 

“Things have a way of getting better,” Marilyn replied. “And some things have a way of fixing themselves.”

 

“I hope so,” Emmett sighed as the psychic turned over the sixth future card, which displayed the _Five of Cups…reversed_.

 

“I really don’t like them upside down.  Can we take that back?

 

“This might not be that bad,” Marilyn replied looking at the card.  Her face distorted, trying to sense what the card foretold.  “Someone’s going to have an old friend come back into their life.  It could be good or bad, but I sense that it’s probably a bit of both.  Visitors always tend to be like that anyway.”

 

“That’ll be nice.”

 

“Just don’t let them stay in your house,” the psychic revised.  “They’ll break more things than a kid.”

 

“Well, fortunately I don’t have enough room in my closet for clothes let alone a long visit,” Emmett mentioned as Marilyn revealed the seventh card. 

 

“ _The Four of Wands_ , which is a state of harmony.  Someone will achieve tranquility in their life, but as usual, irony dictates that it’ll only be for a moment,” she said.  Pausing on the last card she asked, “Are you ready?” 

“We’re on a roll, keep the good vibes coming…”  

Mysterious Marilyn turned over the last card, which had a picture of an armor clad skeleton riding a horse while carrying a flag displaying a skull and cross bones.  The Death card.  

 

“This, this,” Marilyn said flustered as Emmett’s face showed his fear.  “I’m so sorry, honey.”  She touched the card then took Emmett’s hand in her own.  “It’ll be quick, so at least you know he or she won’t suffer.”

 

“Who?”

 

“I wish I could tell you that.”

 

Emmett gripped Marilyn’s hand for comfort.  In his mind he went over the most important people in his life: Michael, Ted, Debbie, Melanie, Lindsay, Justin and fuck it, he thought, even Brian.  Of course, there was Vic and Gus, maybe even Ben and Ethan, though he’d only known the violinist for a month.  No way, Emmett thought.  This is bullshit.  “Are you sure?”

 

“What you see is what you see,” Marilyn replied fanning her hands over the cards.  “And honestly, hun, he’s going to call you in about 15 minutes and if you’re not home, you’re going to have a lot of ‘splainin’ to do.”

 

Emmett looked at his watch and felt a rumble in the pit of his stomach.  “Shit!”  He grabbed his jacket, stood and put it on before saying, “the next time we meet you better have better news for my 20 dollars.”

 

“Well, tell your friend that fucking on a dumpster is never a healthy thing and no matter what he does, never ever grab anything inside a dumpster without looking at it first,” she quickly said as Emmett walked away.

 

Emmett gave Marilyn one last look as he dodged fleshy bodies in his effort to leave Woody’s to go back home.  He should have been more worried about missing Ted’s phone call, but all he could think about were those tarot cards and what the future held for him and his family.   


	2. Always Something New

  
Author's notes:

visual casting:

Brook=Antonio Sabbato, Jr, Dani= Heather Locklear, Ty=David Tom

* * *

It was almost noon before Emmett walked in Liberty Diner.  He saw the table he was looking for, so he strolled over to where Michael sat with Ben eating sandwiches while Ted sipped on a soda in front of them.  Casually, he sat down next to Ted, saying hello, then nervously accepting a quick kiss from his new boyfriend before reading the menu in front of him.  

 

“You got up late,” Michael mumbled as he chewed while he talked.  

 

“I was up _all_ last night,” Emmett replied not even bothering to look up from his menu.

 

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Ben replied, placing a kiss on Michael’s cheek.  

 

Michael returned the kiss then leaned his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, all the while still shoving fries in his mouth.  Ted watched the couple then placed his arm around Emmett’s shoulder giving him a tight squeeze.

 

“Ow,” Emmett responded pulling away from Ted.  He grabbed his shoulder and rubbed it complaining, “All I did was toss and turn all night and now I’m all sore and achy.”

 

“Well, I can help you with that,” Ted offered, attempting to massage Emmett’s shoulder.

 

“Maybe later,” Emmett replied wishing he hadn’t.  

 

“I can go by your place then,” Ted responded still keeping close to his boyfriend.  “We can have a couples night.  What do you say, guys?”

 

Ben looked at Michael, then to Emmett only to see the confused look on his friend’s face.  He looked back at Michael, who also saw nothing but discomfort on his roommate’s face.  Michael wanted to say no, that he had other plans, but the eager look on Ted’s face changed his mind.  “I dunno,” Michael said.  “Ben?”

 

Reluctantly, Ben nodded his head and smiled.  “Sure,” he replied placing an arm around Michael, who put a fry to his mouth only to decide he was no longer hungry.   

 

“Great,” Ted said.  “I was planning on having that live orgy at 8:00 p.m., so I’ll be over after that.”

 

“Sounds good,” Ben responded. 

 

Ben pushed his plate away and made himself comfortable while Michael and Emmett exchanged one exasperated look after another. Fortunately for Emmett, Ted seemed oblivious raising a hand for the waiter.  When the waiter finally arrived, Ted and Emmett placed their orders while Michael decided that he wanted dessert.  Not quite ready to decide what sweet treat he wanted, Michael kept his menu and pondered his decisions longer.  

 

“I can’t decide,” Michael complained.  “I think maybe I want a piece of chocolate cake, but the fruit tarts look good too.”

 

“Maybe you should ask Mysterious Marilyn,” Emmett mentioned.  “I saw her last night and she gave me a full reading on my entire family, which would include all of you.”

 

“Yeah?”  Michael looked up from his menu.  “Did she mention if the fruit tarts were any good?”

 

“No, but she did say that not only is a couple going to break up,” Emmett replied cocking an eyebrow towards Michael.  “But, that someone’s going to die.”

 

“Did she say who?”  Michael asked, though it was obvious that he wasn’t taking it as seriously as Emmett was.  

 

“No,” Emmett replied.  “But she did mention that someone is going through a mental break down from embarrassment.” 

 

“Must be Brian,” Ted said with a smile. 

 

“What the fuck would I be embarrassed for?”  Brian walked over to the table and sat next to Michael pushing his best friend into Ben.  Thought it was Saturday, he wore a gray suit and carried a briefcase.  He appeared tired, having just arrived on a long flight back from Australia that morning.  

 

“I thought you weren’t coming back from Australia until next week,” Michael replied hugging Brian, who didn’t bother to get up.  Excited that his best friend was back from his business trip, Michael couldn’t erase the giddy smile from his face.

 

“Plans change,” he replied giving Ted his usual smug look.  

 

“So, did ya get the account?”  Michael asked trying to change the subject.  

 

Brian had been gone so long that Michael had almost forgotten the friction in Pittsburgh that his best friend had left behind.  What had once been a strong family unit seemed fractured and it looked like no one seemed to care, especially Brian.  There was Brian, sitting in the diner like there were no problems, that his life didn’t just fall apart, pretending like nothing was wrong.  Michael smiled, concentrating on Brian, thinking how can nothing be wrong when there’s nothing right about Brian…everything seemed so wrong.

 

“Of course,” Brian said finally looking in his best friend’s direction.  He sat, obviously uncomfortable, and spit out, “Babylon-tonight.”

 

“Can’t,” Michael responded sadly.

 

“We’re having couples night tonight,” Ted said putting an arm around Emmett, then taking it away when Emmett flinched, reminding him of his boyfriend’s sore shoulder.  “But, I can’t see why you can’t come…if you wanted, even though you don’t have a boyfriend anymore.”

 

“Why the fuck would I want to?”

 

“Well, maybe our happiness will rub off on you,” Ted replied.  He looked in his glass and retrieved the bravery to continue.  “Seeing as you’ve been a stick in the mud or out of the country for the last month.  It’s almost like you’ve been avoiding us.  You wouldn’t be trying to avoid us, would you, Brian?”

 

“If I was trying to avoid you, why exactly would I be here right now?”  Brian sighed and decided this situation was going nowhere fast.  He glanced at the front door to see the one face he didn’t want to see walk through.

 

Justin walked in and immediately saw Brian.  His entire body tensed up, but he moved to the table after a moment of gathering the courage to face his former lover.  He hadn’t seen Brian since that fateful night he left “The Game” and Brian for a healthier relationship.  Ever since then, his life had been on fast forward.  Two days after Justin left his first love, Brian was on a plane pitching body lotion to Australians.  It was then he and Ethan retrieved all of his belongings from the loft, moving them into the violinists’ top floor apartment.  Ever since then he never looked back, but then Brian made it easy by taking the first plane out of the country.  This was the first time.  Justin smiled at the thought.  Brian was always going to be his first everything.

 

Justin walked up to the table and greeted the group individually, leaving Brian to the very last, pausing before giving his former boyfriend his complete attention.  He smiled hesitantly and said “hi, Brian.”

 

Brian looked at Justin, his face for the most part expressionless.

 

****

 

“Want me to get you anything while I’m up?”  Mel asked getting up from the couch where she and her partner sat reading.  

 

“I’m good,” Lindsay replied leaning back into the couch.  She flipped through her magazine, simply enjoying the quiet, lazy afternoon with her family.  She glanced to where Gus sat playing with his toys and smiled.  “I’m very good.”

 

“You can say that again,” Melanie replied walking into the kitchen.  She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and walked back into the living room. She picked up the book she had been reading and started to sit down when there was a knock on the door.  Melanie glanced at her partner questioningly.  “You expecting anyone?”

 

“Nope,” Lindsay replied glancing out of the window. She couldn’t see who was at the front door and didn’t recognize the car that was parked out front.  However, her curiosity wasn’t peaked, so she shrugged her shoulders and eased back into her seat allowing her lover to find out who was at the door.

 

Melanie opened the front door to see an elegant, blonde woman standing next to a handsome, leather clad man.  “Hi?”

 

“Hi,” said the woman.  She cocked her head trying to look in the house, but didn’t see what she was looking for.  “By any chance is there a overzealous feminist who calls herself Lindsay here?”

 

Melanie heard the description and turned to call for her lover when she saw that Lindsay’s curiosity finally got to her.  Before Melanie could get a word in edgewise, Lindsay had rushed by her, screaming excitedly.  

 

“Oh my God!” Lindsay and the woman hugged and laughed, excited.  “I can’t believe you’re here,” she said giddy.  She took a good look at the woman when she finally saw the man next to her.  “Oh, it’s been so long!  How are you two doing?”

 

“I’d love to catch up,” the woman replied, “though I’m not sure I want to do it outside.”

 

“My manners,” Lindsay gasped.  She invited the couple in and offered them a seat, which they took.  “Let me introduce you two to my wife and partner, Mel.  Mel, this is Dani and Brook Morgan.  We all went to college together.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Mel said.  “Can I get you two anything to drink?  Maybe a snack or something?”

 

“We’re fine,” Dani replied. “Thanks.”

 

“Dani, I’d like you to meet someone very special,” Lindsay said turning the focus to her son who watched the guests half-heartedly as he played with his favorite toy truck.  “This is my son, Gus.”

 

“You did it,” Brook said staring at the kid.  “Please tell me the kid’s his.  Oh, please, please, please tell me the kid’s his.”

 

“It is,” Lindsay replied.  “As a matter of fact…” She walked over to the phone and picked it up.

 

“Holy shit,” Brook laughed.  “I’m never going to let him hear the end to this!”

 

****

 

Brian looked up at Justin, his face still expressionless.

 

Justin wished he would say something, anything.  He smiled nervously wondering what exactly he was expecting from Brian, but knowing that the silent treatment wasn’t what he wanted.  Sure, they weren’t a couple, if they ever really were, but they would always be friends, wouldn’t they?  I mean, Justin thought, it’s not like he even cares one way or another.  He said it was my choice.  

 

Justin took a deep breath and thought maybe he should just act like everything was normal.  “So, how was Australia?”

 

Brian looked up at Justin and thought about the question.  They stared at each other for a long moment when a ring came from Brian’s cell phone situated in his jacket pocket.  Brian picked up the phone and placed it to his ear. “Yeah?”  He listened for a moment then stood up saying, “I’ll be right there, just give me a few.”

 

Just like that: as quickly as he arrived, Brian was gone and with as many words leaving Justin flustered, standing in front of the table where the guys sat.

 

“Well, aren’t we all glad he’s back in town?” Ted asked giving Justin a sympathetic smile.  

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied sadly.  Without making eye contact he asked, “Deb here?”

 

“Not yet,” Ben replied when he noticed that Michael wasn’t planning on answering.  

 

Without another word, Justin went to the back to prepare to work his shift.

 

“You could’ve been nicer,” Ben told Michael when Justin was gone.  “It’s bad enough he has to deal with Brian being an asshole.”

 

“I know,” Michael replied shoving his menu aside; he was no longer hungry for dessert.  

 

“I thought things were getting better between you two,” Emmett said, “just as long as no one brought up you know who or you know what…”

 

“Well, the other you know who is back in town,” Michael complained.  “And if I have to pick a side, I’m picking Brian’s.”

 

“You don’t have to pick a side,” Ben disagreed.  “It is possible to support them both.”

 

“Tell that to Brian,” Michael replied as his mother and Carl walked in the diner.  “You saw the look on his face.  He says he doesn’t give a shit, but we all know he does.”

 

“Who we talking about?”  Debbie asked as Carl sat down in a chair at the counter next to the guys’ table.  

 

“Brian,” Ted sighed.

 

“He’s returned from fucking the better part of Australia,” Emmett added.  “And lucky for Justin, this was one of his first stops.”

 

“Fuck,” Deb said looking towards the back where the employee’s room was.  “How’s Sunshine?”

 

“It’s a cloudy day here,” Emmett replied glancing towards Ted, who smiled at him in return.  

 

“Poor Sunshine.”

 

“What?” Michael looked up at his mother as she poured Carl a cup of coffee.  “He’s the one who left Brian.”

 

“Brian treated him like shit,” Ted said defending the young man.

 

“Brian loved him and took care of him like he’s done for no one else…ever and what did he get in return?”  Michael didn’t even bother to lower his voice as he complained.  “Justin lied and cheated on him.  Sorry, but Justin was the one who treated Brian like shit.  He knew what Brian was about, in fact, he always said he never wanted Brian to change.  The only time Justin ever really cared about what Brian did is when that violin player with bad facial hair spouted out sweet nothings.  Then all of a sudden, Justin wants this and that and even when Brian goes out of his way to show he cares, Justin whined and complained about how it wasn’t good enough!”

 

When Michael finished his tirade, he saw that Justin had been standing to the side listening to him.  In his hand, Justin carried two plates, which he placed in front of Ted and Emmett.  He took out a small pad and pencil and looked carefully at everyone sitting at the table.  

 

“Do you guys mind waiting until you leave or until after my shift to talk shit behind my back?”

 

“Michael doesn’t speak for all of us,” Ted immediately said.  

 

“Absolutely,” Emmett replied reaching over to pat Justin’s back.  

 

“In fact, I’ll take you over Brian any day,” Ted added.  “And twice on Saturday’s.”

 

“Don’t pay attention to my little pain in the ass,” Debbie said giving Justin a hug.  “Leaving Brian may have been one of the smartest things you’ve done.”

 

“Ma!”

 

“Deb’s right, Justin,” Ben replied to Michael’s dismay.  “Justin, you’re young.  You should be experiencing life, not teaching Brian how to live his.”

 

“And no one give a shit about Brian…” Michael complained. 

 

“We do,” Debbie replied.  “Of course we do, but we also give a shit about Justin.”

 

“We’re supporting them both,” Ben explained rubbing Michael’s back sympathetically.  

 

“Well, let it be known to everyone who wants to listen that I’m not supporting you, Justin,” Michael whined looking down at the table.  After a moment he spoke under his breath.  “So, you stopping by the shop to go over the new storyline later?”       

 

Justin smiled and replied, “I’ll stop by after work.”

 

****

 

“When did you get back?”  Lindsay asked when she opened the front door and saw Brian.  Completely energized, she rushed through her words while pulling Brian into the house.  “I thought I was just going to leave a message on your voice mail!  I’m so glad you’re here!”

 

“I just got back this morning,” Brian replied taken aback by Lindsay’s aggressiveness.  When the looked around the living room, he finally saw the reason Lindsay was so worked up.   “Dani,” he said unenthusiastically.  

 

“We were just reminiscing about weddings,” Dani said rubbing Brook’s shoulder.  “Mel was just telling us how you missed their wedding to fuck in Miami…just like you missed our wedding.”

 

“Only you missed Dani and Brook’s wedding to fuck in Cancun,” Mel added.  “Jesus, Brian, you don’t like to see anyone happy do you?”

 

“Happy?” Brian laughed.  He rolled his eyes finally resting them on Brook.  “Is that supposed to be a joke?”

 

“What do you mean?”  Mel asked looking at Lindsay confused.

 

“Honey,” Lindsay began, only to have Brook stop her.  

 

Brook stood up and faced Brian.  They grinned at each other like fools when Brook broke the silence; “it’s been too long.”  Brook held out his wrist, which displayed an old worn cowry bracelet exactly like the one Brian wore.  Brian grabbed Brook’s arm and held his wrist to his old friends’ allowing the cowry shells to touch.   After a quiet moment was shared, the two men locked lips in a deep kiss, tongues occasionally flicking in and out until they felt the need to embrace hugging ecstatically.  

 

“Did I miss something?”  Mel asked looking at Dani then to Lindsay.  

 

“Honey, even though Dani and Brook are married,” Lindsay replied.  “They’re both queer.  In fact, this is Dannen, Honey.  I’ve told you about Dannen, remember?”

 

“Dannen?  The Dannen as in your first girlfriend, Dannen?”  Mel asked looking at Dani and finally connecting the face with old stories her partner told her.  

 

“Yeah,” Lindsay replied hoping Mel would still be reasonable.  

 

“I gave her the big tutorial,” Dani said as Brian and her husband whispered into each other’s ears.  “Lesbianism 101.”

 

“I guess I should thank you then,” Mel responded.

 

“No need,” Dani replied with a coy smile.  She looked Mel up and down and winked at her old friend’s lover.  “If she hadn’t been a full fledged dyke when she met you, I pretty positive she would’ve winged it.”

 

“Can we stop the dyke talk?”  Brook said hanging on Brian.  “I want to talk to daddy here about a little person playing with Tonka toys over there.”

 

“Fuck you and your dyke wife,” Brian replied trying to pry Brook off of him with no luck.  Brian tried not to laugh, but with Brook pawing him, he was finding it difficult to keep his composure.

 

“How’d she talk you into it?”

 

“Mel threatened to kick my ass,” Brian replied, which made Mel laugh out loud.

 

“And I would’ve,” Mel said; though as she remembered it, she didn’t want Brian to be any part of her relationship with Lindsay. However, at this point it didn’t matter since Gus was Brian’s and there was no turning back time.

 

“I can’t believe you’re a father,” Brook said.

 

“Neither can I,” Dani agreed.  “I think I’d pay to see you change a diaper.”

 

“I know I’d pay to see you change a diaper,” Mel said looking at Brian.          

 

“I’ve changed diapers,” Brian replied.  “But, I’m not supposed to talk about random tricks in front of my son.”  He took in each person’s expression and added, “Hey, I’ll try anything once.”

 

“Same old story,” Dani sighed.  “You two are like peas in a pod.”

 

“Still bitching I see, Dani,” Brian chuckled.  “I guess things don’t change with you either.  So, how long am I supposed to be burdened with your presence, cause I’m not sure this city is big enough for both of our egos.”

 

“Well, you better find a way to exist,” Dani said watching Brian’s smile fade.  “Because you’re looking at the new Assistant District Attorney for the City of Pittsburgh.”

 

“You’re staying?” Lindsay said excited.  “Oh my God I can’t believe this!”

 

“There’s only one snag,” Brook said rubbing his groin against Brian’s thigh.  “The house we bought won’t be ready for another few weeks…”

 

“You can stay here,” Lindsay offered.  She heard the words automatically come out of her mouth then looked at Mel.  She had completely forgotten about the Leda fiasco.  Trying to back track, she hesitated before saying, “I mean…”

 

“Until your house is ready,” Melanie said.  She took Lindsay’s hand in her own and looked at Dani.  “We’d love for you two to stay here then you guys can catch up.”

 

“I promise we won’t be much trouble at all,” Dani replied.  “In fact, I’ll be working on the stacks of cases that are sitting on my new desk as we speak and Brook will be catching up on all of the fucks he’s missed since we left Pittsburgh, so he’ll be occupied.  And as soon as our place is done, we’re outta here…well, except when we come to visit.”

 

“Great,” Mel sighed glad that they seemed to be seeing eye to eye on this.  “The only problem is that we don’t have a spare bedroom.”

 

“Couch it is,” Dani replied.  She glanced to Brook when she said, “which means the floor is all yours.” 

 

“Unless I can stay with Brian,” Brook suggested.  “We can be roomies.”

 

“Yeah, right,” Brian replied.  “I like my space.”

   

“Things never change,” Dani said.  “You know one of these days, Brian, some hot little trick’s going break down all those barriers of yours and before you know it, you’ll be madly in love.”

 

“Yeah right,” Brook chuckled.  “We don’t do love, we don’t do boyfriends, right Bri?”

 

“I gotta go,” Brian replied removing Brook’s arms from around his body.  

 

“Wait, we still have to do some catching up,” Brook replied following Brian as he moved towards the front door.

 

“Babylon,” Brian said walking out of the front door.  “Meet me at 11:00 p.m. upstairs.”

 

“Sure,” Brook called out watching Brian get into his jeep and drive away.  He walked back into the house where Lindsay, Melanie and Dannen chatted.  “Did I say something wrong?”

 

“Nope,” Dani replied with a smile.  “Mel and Linds here were just updating me on Brian’s social life…and the fact that he broke some of your favorite rules…”

 

****

 

Justin walked up the stairs to his and Ethan’s apartment and heard his new boyfriend playing violin.  He rushed upstairs and into the apartment.

 

“You’re playing,” Justin said putting his knapsack down.  He waited for Ethan to stop playing before placing a kiss on his lips.  “How’s your hand feeling?”

 

“Better,” Ethan replied flexing his hand.  He reached into his violin case and pulled out a small wad of dollar bills.  “I went out today and played for a while. I didn’t get much, but every bit counts.”

 

“Are you sure you should be playing too much?”

 

“The doctor said it was only a strain,” Ethan said taking Justin in his arms.  “I love how you worry about me, but I’m fine.  In fact, I’ll be ready for my performance in two weeks.  The only question is: is the world ready for me?”

 

“They better be,” Justin said kissing Ethan a few more times before pushing away to take off his jacket.  He opened up his knapsack and pulled out the pages of the new story line Michael was writing for Rage and glanced at them.  

 

“Something wrong?” 

 

Justin looked up and saw Ethan’s concerned expression.  He hadn’t even realized he had been frowning.  His first thought was to say ‘no’, to try and play it off as he had done a million times with Brian, but then it hit him.  Ethan wasn’t Brian.  “No, well, yeah,” he began.  He cleared his throat and sat on the bed gripping the pages of Rage in his hand.  “Brian’s back from Australia.  He was at the diner when I showed up for work."

 

“You knew you were going to have to see him sooner or later,” Ethan replied taking a seat next to Justin on the bed. “How did it go?”

 

“I said, ‘hi’, then his cell phone rang,” he told the violinist.  “He left without saying anything at all.”

 

“He’s such an asshole,” Ethan said putting an arm around the blonde.  

 

“I know,” Justin sighed.  “The worst part is that I don’t have a choice.  I have to work at the diner.  I mean I can’t just quit because we need the money.”

 

“You can always get another job,” Ethan suggested.  

 

“I wish I could,” Justin disagreed.  “Deb basically lets me set my own schedule for classes and I do get good tips.  I mean I have to help with the rent, the utilities, food.  Then add on my school, my mom, Deb and…Brian.  I owe everyone and their mother.”

 

“You said Brian has more money than dirt,” Ethan said.  “Why are you rushing to pay Brian off?  He can wait, you know.”

 

“I don’t want to owe him anything,” Justin replied.  “The sooner I’m free from him the better.” 

 

Ethan smiled and kissed his lover.  “I couldn’t agree more.”  He placed a few kisses on Justin’s neck, and then pulled the blonde’s shirt over his head, tossing it to the side.  

 

“Ethan,” Justin said pushing his lover away.  “What about the rent and utilities?  And we’re almost out of food.  We really should go shopping.”

 

“Later, beautiful,” Ethan replied holding onto Justin when the artist tried to stand up.  “I’ve been having this daydream all day about licking whip cream off of your body, making you cum so hard your toes curl up; you scream my name sweeter than any note from my violin…then we wake up in the morning, I look into your sweet blue eyes and we give a repeat performance.”

 

“We don’t have whip cream,” Justin said lying back on the bed.  He watched as Ethan reached over to the side and pulled out a can of whip cream.  He laughed.  “We don’t have food, but we have whip cream.”

 

Ethan removed Justin’s pants and sprayed a tiny amount of whip cream on the artist’s stomach.  When his lover giggled, Ethan licked the cream off.  “Relax,” Ethan said applying more cream.  “Just lay back and let me work my magic.  All you have to do is keep your eyes closed and experience.”  He waited for Justin to close his eyes before continuing.  “If you have to think, think of all the ways you want to be pleasured…”

 

****  

 

Brian continued the motions, roughly thrusting his member into the man below him.  Reaching his orgasm, Brian came, opened his eyes then removed himself from his newest trick.  Glancing from side to side he looked around the back room at Babylon then wiped the few drops of sweat from his brow.  He hardly broke a sweat.  In fact, he was more anxious than before.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small device, put it to his nose and sniffed.  He then closed his eyes and absorbed the drug.  He had taken a dose earlier, but it the drug hadn’t affected him yet.  Frustrated, he zipped up his pants and walked away leaving his trick still bent over a chair pants a puddle on the floor.  The man called out to Brian, but the ad-man was already gone, having ventured out into the city that was Babylon.  

 

Brian went upstairs and stood on the rafter looking down at the crowd.  After scanning the crowd of men, Brian checked his watch: it was 1:45 a.m. and Brook never showed up.  Finally giving up on his old friend, Brian scanned the crowd again, only this time looking for a toy to take home.  The only problem was that every face he saw was one he had seen...or fucked before.  Deciding that maybe the bathes were a more suitable destination, Brian left Babylon and walked down the street.  He got about a few blocks away when he felt confused.  He looked around the street and realized he had no idea where he parked his jeep.  He knew he parked down an alleyway, but couldn’t remember which one.  

 

Brian turned around then turned around again. “Fuck,” he mumbled thinking that the alley before him was where his jeep was parked.  He started walking down the alleyway having to stop and focus on each car in order to identify it.  

 

“Now the drugs kick in…fuck!”

 

“Need some help?”

 

Brian turned around and saw a thin young blond man sitting on the hood of his jeep.  

 

“My jeep,” Brian replied pointing to his vehicle.

 

“Sorry,” the blond said, jumping off of the jeep.  “I was just waiting for my date.”

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Brian responded getting out his keys only to drop them on the floor.

 

“I’m not a hustler,” the blond quickly spat out.  “I actually have a date…well, this guy I’m seeing was supposed to meet me here at midnight.”

 

“He’s a touch late,” Brian mentioned leaning down to pick up his keys.  He wobbled and placed a hand on the ground to prevent him from falling over.  “You gonna stay here in an alley all night?”

 

“I guess,” the blond said.  He went to Brian and picked up his keys, also helping the older man up.  “Are you sure you should be driving?”

 

“Who cares?”

 

“I do,” the blond said.  He waked over to the front of Brian’s jeep and sat on the hood again.  The jeep was parked in front of a small garbage dumpster, which the young man used as a foot stool.  “If you drive, you’ll get into a car accident, so if you leave, you’ll have to leave with me as a hood ornament.”

 

“Why exactly do you give a fuck?  You don’t even know me.”

 

The blond laughed hysterically.  When he was finished he giggled, “You’re Brian Kinney.  When I came to Pittsburgh last month, one of the first lessons I learned was who Brian Kinney was.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” the young man continued.  “This one guy I met said to stay as far from you as humanly possible.”

 

“Smart guy,” Brian sighed leaning up against his jeep for support.  He shook his head, but it did nothing to stop the mind warping affects of the drugs.    

 

The blond leaned closer to where Brian stood and whispered, “name’s Ty, Ty Fuller if you’re interested.”

 

“I’m not,” Brian replied turning around facing his jeep.  He put his key in the door’s keyhole and paused as the scene hit him.  There sprawled over the front of his jeep was a blond twink about 21 or so years old who stood about 5’8.  Though it was a chilly evening, Ty had on a light blue midriff, which not only exposed a soft tummy, but also emphasized bright blue eyes.  He wore jeans, but there were more holes than there was fabric.  Not being able to stop himself, Brian reached over and slid his hand in one of the gaping holes until he grabbed silky skin.

 

Ty smiled showing a perfect grin making the beast inside Brian’s pants beg for a taste.  Faster than even he expected, Brian had Ty’s pants off and his own condom on.  Skipping foreplay altogether, Brian turned Ty on his stomach and worked to relieve the pressure that had been building since he first got to Babylon.  Closing his eyes, Brian began a steady pace, only speeding up when he heard Ty’s restrained mumbles.  Opening his eyes, Brian looked at the younger man who had his mouth open allowing quick guttural grunts to escape from his lungs, but kept reserved for the most part, simply holding onto the hood of the jeep while Brian kept up the motions.  

 

Brian leaned down and whispered over the sounds of flesh slapping together, “I wanna hear you scream…”

 

Ty chuckled and reached behind him, squeezing Brian’s flexing buttocks.  “Make me,” he grunted.

 

Brian smiled and took the challenge.  He flipped Ty on his back, lifted the younger man’s legs over his shoulder and pounded into the man with renewed vigor.  

 

Brian’s rough motions rocked the jeep so that it bobbed up and down making a loud squeaking noise that echoed in the alley.  Ty grabbed the side of the jeep, but the angle he was in prevented him from getting a good grip, so he grabbed onto Brian wrapping his legs around the body in motion.  

 

Brian heard his hood begin to buckle, but he just couldn’t stop himself.  Instead of stopping, he quickened his pace by propping Ty on his lap and twisting the blond around then leaning him against the dumpster for support.  

 

Ty’s back slammed against the dumpster over and over again, but he didn’t care.  He leaned backwards lying over the top of the dumpster when Brian lifted his legs above is head.  He grabbed onto the side of the dumpster and gripped onto it or he might have slipped right off.  Brian’s thrusting didn’t wane, having rocked the dumpster like he rocked jeep.  

 

Ty was in heaven and if Brian Kinney wanted to hear him scream, then he’d scream.  Hell, Ty would have cheered wearing a cheerleader’s outfit shaking his pom-poms if it meant Brian wouldn’t stop.  He grabbed a hold of Brian’s hand and squeezed tightly.  “Oh God!…Oh!….Don’t!…Don’t stop!…Oh God, oh God, oh God!”

 

Brian smiled having finally got the reaction he was so used to, the blond having spent his load, his body shaking.  Brian closed his eyes again and continued the tempo until he couldn’t hold it anymore.  Grunting, he came and momentarily pressed his body against Ty’s.  They lay there for a moment until Brian perched himself up over the blond and looked at him.  

 

“I thought I told you not to stop,” Ty finally said between labored breaths.  He rubbed Brian’s hand and closed his eyes as chills ran up and down his spine.

 

Brian chuckled.  He pressed his body against Ty’s while he removed his condom.  “All good things must come to an end,” Brian responded.

 

“Mmm,” Ty moaned opening his eyes again.  He looked up at Brian and mumbled, “your hand is cold.  And as soft as the rest of your body is you should try using better lotion.  Lubriderm is pretty good or you can just get anything with Aloe Vera.”

 

Brian smiled at the young man’s concern when it dawned on him.  He zipped up his pants and realized that he was looking at both of his hands.  Slowly, he looked up.  His eyes met with Ty’s questioningly.  When Ty returned the look confused, Brian lifted his hands in the air.

 

Ty looked at Brian’s two hands then slowly looked at the hand he was holding.  The hand came from underneath a large piece of cardboard that he had been perched up on and when he pushed it to the side, a blue, rigamortis ridden body came into plain view.

 

Ty jumped up and immediately put on his pants on.  After that he positioned himself behind Brian then began to rub his hands on the older man’s shirt.  Brian simply stood there staring at the dead body in shock.  

 

“What are we going to do?!” Ty asked beginning to cry.  “Brian, what are we going to do?!”

 

“Brian?”  Ty looked at Brian’s shell-shocked expression then back at the dead body in the dumpster.  He grabbed Brian and held the man close to him.  “Did you know him?”

 

Brian couldn’t help but stare.  He shook his head trying to get a grip, but it didn’t help.  He simply leaned against Ty with his mouth open.  Finally something came out.

 

“Yes.”


	3. Things You Discover

Emmett walked into Liberty Diner and glanced around for any familiar faces.  Seeing only Debbie and Carl, he sighed, walked over to them and sat next to Carl at the counter.  

 

“Hey, hey,” Deb said, her smile glowing.  “It’s almost 2:00 a.m.; shouldn’t you be at home curled up with your beau?”

 

Emmett’s only response was to sigh loudly and give Deb his most ‘tortured man’ expression.

 

“Honey, you’re gonna have to talk with Ted about this,” Deb told him placing a tea cup in front of the troubled man.  “You can’t keep this up, you’re tiring yourself out.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I think you two are forgetting one thing,” Carl said as Deb poured hot water in Emmett’s tea cup.  “I think you guys aren’t giving Ted enough credit.  I have a feeling he already knows.”

 

“I wish that were true,” Emmett responded, going through the bags of tea Deb presented him.  He picked the one he wanted, opened it and dipped it in the hot water.  “I mean he’s always wanting to do this couple thing or do that couple thing.  We’re always hanging out with Michael and Ben or Mel and Linds, which was nice the first few dozen times we did it, but…”

 

“You wanna fuck around,” Deb finished for Emmett.

 

“It’s not like that,” Emmett protested, then changed his mind sighing.  “O.K., maybe just a little bit.  I miss the other things I used to do with him like…checking out the guys at Babylon.  It’s so sad; we don’t even go to Babylon anymore.  In a strange sorta way I’m glad Brian’s back; at least now I know he’ll be up for a night at Babylon or Woody’s…or…” He looked at Carl.  “Other places couples just shouldn’t go.”

 

Debbie laughed.  She picked out a doughnut, only to have Emmett select another.  She put it on a plate and placed it next to his tea.  “You miss your friend.”

 

“Yeah,” Emmett agreed.  He took a sip from his tea and carefully set the cup back down.  “You know what’s funny?  I talked with Mysterious Marilyn last night and she already knew.”

 

“ _I already knew_ ,” Carl said trying to hide his smile behind his coffee cup.  “And I’m on the outside looking in…that’s why I think you two aren’t giving Ted enough credit.”

 

“Then why all the couple events?” Emmett asked.  

 

“Salvage,” Carl replied.

 

“Bite the bullet, honey,” Deb told Emmett.  “The longer you take the worse it’ll be.”

 

“Yeah, better just to get it over with,” Carl said.  “It may be a little weird at first, but just give it some time and things will get better.”

 

“But, it won’t be like the way it way it was before,” Em sighed.  

 

“It never is,” Deb replied.  “Just ask Justin.”

 

“Well, there’s hope left for those two,” Emmett said trying to look for any good signs.  “Mysterious Marilyn said that a couple will re-unite, which gives me hope that Brian and Justin will work on Brian’s whoring problems.”

 

“Hopefully I’ll be alive to see it,” Deb chuckled slapping Emmett’s arm playfully.

 

“Maybe,” Em replied looking coyly at both Debbie and Carl.  “Marilyn also said that a new love will blossom in this time of turmoil.  I wonder who that could be…”

 

Carl laughed nervously, as did Debbie, but the police detective was quick with a response.  “Well, at least we know it’s not you and Ted.”

 

The group laughed, allowing the tension to dissipate.  Emmett opened his mouth in response only to be interrupted by the sound of Carl’s cellular phone.  

 

The detective picked up the phone and listened attentively.  “Yeah,” he said.  “Where?  I’m not too far away right now; I’ll be right there.”  He put the phone back in his jacket pocket and gave Deb a knowing look.  He leaned in and they kissed quickly before saying goodbyes.  After another farewell kiss, Carl was gone.

 

“I wonder what that was all about?”

 

“Well it didn’t look like good news.”

 

****    

 

Brian’s head was spinning.  The drugs had finally kicked in full time and now he was surrounded by police cars, a ton of people considering it was almost 2 a.m., a crying twink who wouldn’t let him go and a dead body of a guy whose name he couldn’t even remember.  Brian tried to find a good point to his day only to remember that just yesterday he was tanning in Australia while this hunk Maori massaged his feet…and other parts.  Ever since he came back to Pittsburgh, he’s had an array of thrilling events occur in his life: he came back to the loft only to have forgotten his keys in Australia; he had to wait 2 hours for that only to go to the diner to be insulted by Ted; Justin; Dani, the most horrible bitch on the planet, was back in town; Brook stood him up; he dented the hood of his jeep; and now to top it all off he found a dead body of a guy he knows but can’t remember his name while fucking a blond twink in an alleyway on a dumpster.  His life was complete.  “I want to go back to Australia.”

 

“That’s not such a bad idea,” Carl said walking up to Brian, who was leaning up against the dumpster on the other side of the alley.  Carl took a good look at Brian and shook his head.  “Jesus, Brian.”

 

“You’d think this would’ve sobered me up,” Brian replied.

 

“You’d think,” Carl chuckled.  He glanced at the young blond with his face against Brian’s side and asked, “When I was walking over here…you know what I thought?”

 

“Let it go.”

 

“No problem,” Carl replied taking out a pad and pen.  “Who’s the kid?”

 

“The kid’s name is Ty,” the blond said for himself.  “And let me add that I’m not a kid, I’m 23. I just happened to have a youthful beauty.”

 

“Yeah, whatever,” Carl responded turning his attention back to Brian.  “They said you know who the guy is.”

 

“Yeah, but I can’t remember his name,” he replied.

 

“Well, when did you meet him and where?” Carl asked, prepared to write.

 

“I’m not sure,” Brian replied thinking.  “Maybe Woody’s, but I don’t really remember.  He did have this shirt on that said Hotlanta, but after that…I’m really foggy.”

 

“Was he from Atlanta?”

 

“I don’t remember,” Brian told him.  “We just went back to my place, fucked then he left.” His eyes flashed as a memory hit him.  “Justin was there.  He talked to the guy more than I did, maybe you should ask him.”

 

“I will,” Carl replied, turning his attention to Ty.  “How ‘bout you?  You know who Hotlanta was?”

 

“Nope,” Ty said.  “We only had our not-so-pleasant introductions this evening.”

 

“This is getting a little too common, if you know what I mean.  Brian-”

 

“I’d like to know what you mean,” Dani said as she walked up to the group.  “Detective Horvath, is it?”

 

“Yes,” Carl replied holding out his hand, shaking Dani’s.

 

“I’m Dannen Morgan with the DA’s office,” she said.  She carried a leather briefcase with a shoulder strap, which she reached in to grab a file.  She handed the file to Carl, which he took and started flipping through as she continued.  “You’ve been complaining to the Powers That Be that you needed more help with this case and now you’ve got it.”  She looked over to where Brian stood listening to her the best he could and she chuckled, though it was out of disgust.  “So, Brian, this is a glamorous life you lead.”

 

“He and Ty, here, found the body,” Carl mentioned waving his pen towards the two.  “Brian’s dated the deceased before, _but_ he can’t remember his name.”

 

“Dated?”  Dani chuckled.  “That’s a polite word for it.”  She looked around the alley, scanning her eyes across the policemen, flashing lights and onlookers.  She then turned her attention back to Brian when she didn’t see what she was looking for.  “Where’s Brook?”

 

“He was a no show,” Brian replied.

 

“Probably off whoring.  You see, Bri,” she told her old friend.  “Two peas in a pod.”

 

****        

 

“Want Dadda,” Gus cried as Lindsay rocked him in her arms.  “Want Dadda!”

 

“It’s O.K., sweetheart it was only a nightmare,” Linds reassured her son. 

 

“And your mommies are here to protect you,” Mel added rubbing her son’s back.  “Who knows what your daddy’s up to right now?” She paused then changed her mind.  “No, we all know what daddy’s up to right now.”

 

“Want Dadda,” Gus sniffed as Lindsay picked up the telephone.  

 

“What are you doing?”  Mel asked.

 

“Calling Brian,” Linds replied.  

 

“We’re his mommies,” Mel protested.  “What has Brian ever done?!”

 

“Mel,” Linds began, but turned her attention her phone call.  “Brian?  It’s Linds...well, your son, who just had a nightmare and only wants his Daddy doesn’t care that you’re busy…I’ll put him on…”  

 

Linds put the telephone to Gus’ ear and the child listened.  “Hi Dadda” the child sniffled as he held onto his mother.  “K.”  He then kissed the receiver and let go of the phone, though Lindsay never let it go.  He wrapped his arms around his mother, his sniffling dying down to nothing.

 

“Thanks,” Linds said into the phone, smiling to Mel, though her lover didn’t look too happy.  Linds said her goodbyes and put down the receiver.  She turned her attention back to her son and asked, “You feel better now?”

 

The child didn’t speak; he only nodded his head, affirming what both mommies already knew: Daddy calmed him down.  Both Mel and Lindsay put Gus back into bed, staying with him until he fell back asleep.

 

When both mothers went back into their own room, Linds closed the door and immediately began to defend herself.  “Mel, don’t tell me that calling Brian was the wrong thing,” Lindsay began.  “Gus wanted his Dadda, so how could I not get him his Dadda?”

 

“But, we take care of him,” Mel protested.  “We do everything, Brian does almost nothing!”

 

“How do you think I feel?”  Linds said sitting on the bed looking defeated.  “Don’t you think I want Gus to cry for me when he’s scared?”

 

“I hate Brian,” Mel sighed sitting on the bed, leaning her head on her partner’s shoulder.  “We do everything in the world for Gus and he only wants Brian.”

 

“Well, we have one bright spot to think of.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Dani’s back in town,” Linds replied with a smile.  “And Dani detests Brian more than you ever will.”

 

“I didn’t think that was possible,” Mel said wrapping her arms around her lover.  

 

“It is.  She’ll make his life miserable,” Lindsay chuckled leaning backwards against the attorney.  “But the feeling is mutual.  It was always like Brook and I were putting out fires with those two.”

 

“I’ve been wondering about those two.”

 

“Dani and Brian?”

 

“No Brian and Brook,” Melanie replied turning to face her lover.  “Were they a couple, I mean it looks like they were a couple?”

 

“No, no,” Linds explained sitting back up, looking down at Mel. “They never dated, though I’m sure they’ve been _intimate_ on more than one occasion…”  Linds giggled as the memories hit her.  “Brian and I were supposed to go out to see some movie when he insists on stopping by to see this friend of his.  We go to this mansion in the middle of nowhere.  I’m worried because we were running late for the movie when the door opens and there’s Dani, in this little blue bikini.  She ushers us to the pool where there’s about 15 people sitting around, drinking champagne, smoking pot and Brook walked right over to Brian kissed him.  I mean the type of kiss that melts butter…”

 

Mel listened and watched how Lindsay’s expression changed.  She took her lover’s hand into her own and asked, “Is that when you found out Brian was gay?”

 

“Yep,” she sighed.  She leaned back down curling into Mel’s arms.  “I remember waking up in the morning at that mansion.  I went upstairs and found Brian and Brook in bed with two other guys that had been at the party.  It blew my mind away.”

 

“I can imagine,” Mel said.  “I think I’d be blind now if I saw that.”

 

“It seems like so long ago,” Linds reminisced.  “Back then Brian and Brook were connected at the hip.  They had their ‘boys club’, to which we lesbians weren’t privy.  You know, I didn’t even meet Michael until Brook went away for the summer.  If you would have told me that Michael was Brian’s best friend, I would thought you were crazy.”  

 

“Really?”  

 

“Yeah,” Linds laughed.   “Michael’s going to be as happy to see Brook as Brian was to see Dani!  When Michael and Brook finally met up it was this big dramatic event, which boiled down to Brian and Brook’s rules on life: no boyfriends, no love, blah, blah, blah…it was a weird time because when we graduated, Dani and Brook got married and moved to California.  We always said we would keep in touch, but you know how those things are.”

 

“So know we have two Brians in Pittsburgh,” Melanie sighed.  “Lucky us.”

 

“Brook’s not so bad,” Lindsay replied remembering the time she spent with the man.  “He’s much more… _flexible_ than Brian is, but he’s also a little more… _unreliable_.  He always had a habit of being there after you needed him, which was a habit I was trying to stop Brian from picking up.”

 

“It didn’t work.”

 

****

 

Deb walked up to the crime scene carrying a tray full of coffees.  She handed a cup to a few of the policemen she passed on her way to where Carl, Dani, Brian and Ty stood.  She handed a cup of coffee to Carl and Brian, apologizing to the others for not bringing enough.  “I didn’t know there’d be so many of you.”

 

“What are you doing here?”  Carl asked thankful for the coffee, though surprised.

 

“Word travels around these parts fast,” Deb replied.  She took a good long look at Brian and even a longer look at the blond twink leaning up against him.  She couldn’t stop the chuckle, but kept her composure long enough to relay her story.  “Some kids came to the diner, said Brian Kinney found a dead body by Babylon.  So, I called in someone to fill in and came right over.”

 

“You didn’t have to, Deb,” Brian said quickly.

 

“I wanted to, honey,” she replied, reaching around his waist.  “I was worried about you.”

 

“No, I mean you really didn’t have to come,” Brian corrected.  “Any more people and we should start charging.”

 

“Actually Deb, I’m glad you came,” Carl said, which made the waitress’ face glow with pride.  He introduced Dani to Deb and took them to a more secluded area to talk.  Before they left, Carl told Brian and Ty, “stay put. We’ll be right back.”

 

“Where else am I going to go,” Brian complained.  “My jeep’s been taped off and surrounded by every cop in the city.”

 

“Maybe one of the police officers will drive you home,” Ty suggested.  “Or maybe Deb can take you home.”

 

“I’d rather walk home than to listen to whatever might happen to come out of her mouth,” Brian grumbled.  “Or I’d rather just kill myself.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Ty snapped.  He made eye contact with the older man and tried to show his concern. “Just think about your kid.  I mean you were talking so sweet to him on the phone, you must be a great dad.”

 

“I just want to go home,” Brian responded.

 

“I’ll walk home with you if you want,” Ty said rubbing his body against the older man’s.  “…I mean…I could use a place to stay, if it’s not too much trouble.”

 

Brian thought about it for a moment.  “Hold on,” he said walking over to Deb and pulling her away from her conversation with Carl and Dani.  “I need your help.”

 

“Sure, honey anything you want,” Deb replied, shocked though happy Brian had come to her.  

 

“He needs a place to stay for tonight,” he said nodding his head towards Ty, who rolled his eyes when Brian and Deb glanced in his direction.  “Can he crash at your place?”

 

Deb never broke her smile when she told him, “No.”

 

“What?!”

 

“You heard me,” Deb replied, her smile never wavering.  “I love you Brian and I’ll help you, but no.  If he needs a place to stay, he can stay with you. He’s not my problem, he’s yours.”

 

Brian had the word, “Why”, on the tip of his tongue, but he never said it.  He looked over to Carl and Dani and sighed, defeated. 

 

“Ask me anything else,” she continued, trying to keep the lines of communication open.  “But, don’t ask me that.”

 

Brian went through the options in his mind and decided to just get it over with.  He turned to Carl and asked, “Am I done?  Or can the inquisition wait until tomorrow?”

 

“You’re done for now,” Carl replied.  “But, we’re still going to need to go over some things.  I’ll call you tomorrow.”

 

“Fine,” Brian sighed.  “What about my jeep?”

 

“They need to dust that for prints,” Carl said with a chuckle.  He knew Brian wouldn’t be pleased about that.  “It’s going to be impounded for at least a few days, maybe more.  I can get one of the officers to give a lift home.”

 

“Fuck,” Brian snapped.  “Can my day get any worse?  Wait…don’t answer that.”

 

“I may just enjoy being back just to see you suffer, Brian,” Dani said.

 

“You know him?” Deb asked turning to Dani surprised.

 

“Yeah, we went to college together,” Dani replied.  “Wanna hear some embarrassing stories?”

 

“Hell, ya,” Deb replied, though the ad man didn’t stay to hear any more. 

 

Brian walked towards his jeep instinctively and stopped when he saw that it was being attended to by crime scene workers.  He glanced around when it dawned on him.  The twink was gone.  He took a good look around and went back to where Deb stood talking with Dani and Carl.  “You guys see…”

 

“Ty,” Carl replied seeing Brian couldn’t remember the blond’s name.

 

“Things never change,” Dani chuckled.

 

“No, honey,” Deb answered glancing around the area.  “Looks like you just found a lucky break.”

 

****

 

“How’s he doing?”  Mel asked when Lindsay came back into the bedroom and climbed in bed.

 

“Sound asleep,” she replied snuggling against her lover.  

 

The couple lay together attempting to go back to sleep when the sound of wood hitting wood startled them both.  Mel perked up her head and waited for another sound.  After a moment of silence, she eased back into her position only to hear the clear sound of a door closing.  Jumping up from bed she grabbed a large candle holder that was on a dresser and headed downstairs to investigate.  Slowing walking down the stairs, she saw a light in the living room.  

 

“Oh for crying out loud,” she replied seeing Dani buttoning up her pajama top.  “I completely forgot you were here.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Dani replied.  “I got called out; I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

 

“No, we were up,” Mel said.  “Gus had a nightmare, but he’s fine now.”

 

“Poor kid, but he’s not the only one,” Dani told her fellow attorney.  “I was just at a crime scene where a man found a dead body while fucking on a dumpster…want to take a guess _who_ that man was?”

 

“Holy shit,” Mel responded immediately.  “Don’t tell me it’s Brian.”

 

“Alright, I _won’t_ tell you it’s Brian,” Dani replied getting into her makeshift bed on the sofa.  “But, now I have nothing more to say.”

 

“That son of a bitch,” Mel gasped.  “We called him tonight and he said he was busy.  I guess he wasn’t bullshitting.”

 

Mel and Dani laughed about the situation when they both decided to talk in detail in the morning.  Mel turned off the lights before heading upstairs and climbing into bed with Lindsay.  “It was Dani,” Mel replied.

 

“I thought about that as soon as you went downstairs,” Lindsay replied, not even opening her eyes.  “I forgot she was here, too.”

 

“She’s got an interesting story to tell tomorrow,” Mel said not mentioning anything, knowing Lindsay wouldn’t be able to sleep hearing Brian’s current predicament.  “We should have brunch and gossip all day.”

 

“Sounds like an idea to me,” Linds replied snuggling close to her lover.  “I’m so glad you and Dani are getting along.  I’m so glad she’s back. It’ll be like old…” she yawned, “times.”

 

“Mmmm,” Mel sighed closing her eyes to sleep.  She thought about it for a moment when it hit her.  She wanted to push it aside, but the little green monster reared its head.  She opened her eyes and looked at Lindsay, but her partner had already fallen back asleep.

 

****

 

“Why can’t you just drive me home?”  Brian asked getting out of Debbie’s car.  

 

They walked to the diner and she opened the front door saying, “because I called someone in and told them I would only be an hour.  It’s almost an hour and a half already, Brian.  I just have another half hour in my shift then I’ll drive you home.  Or you can call a cab cause you’re not driving my car as fucked up as you are.”

 

“Great,” Brian sighed.  “My choices are between you and a dead body.”

 

“I heard what happened,” Justin said coming from behind the counter.  “Brian, are you O.K.?”

 

Brian looked at Justin long and hard.  He definitely heard the question, allowing every answer to fill his mind, but saying none of them.  “This is bullshit,” he mumbled walking out of the diner leaving Deb and Justin behind.

 

Brian began to walk and wished that he had just called for a cab.  There was a part of him that wanted to turn around, go back to the diner and call a cab.  But, then there was that part of him (one he listened to) who told him to keep walking, forget there’s a murderer out there killing gay men and just _go home_.  He cut across the street and decided that although it would be quicker to take the alley, today wasn’t the day to press his luck, so he began to walk around the block.  It was then heard a voice coming from the alley.  He rolled his eyes and shook his head, but couldn’t help himself. 

 

Brian did his best to conceal himself when he looked in the alley, simply poking his head into view.  When he did, he saw two men arguing: a short, dark haired man, the aggressor, and a blond trying to calm the situation down.  Brian watched for a moment as the couple argued and began to feel like a peeping tom.  He turned away ready to go home, when the sound of fighting made him turn back.  Looking back in the alley, Brian saw the aggressor pounding his fists into the blond, who only bundled himself in the fetal position, taking the blows while begging for the other man to stop.

 

The scene hit Brian like a ton of bricks; his body moving towards the situation faster than his mind had a chance to tell him to just walk away.  Brian pushed the much smaller man off of the beaten man into a garbage pile nearby.  Without hesitation, Brian moved towards the stunned man lying in trash only to pause when he heard someone say his name.  He turned his head to the beaten blond to see the young twink he found a dead body with earlier, although more battered and bruised.  The twink stood up and grabbed onto Brian for dear life, sobbing uncontrollably, though never taking an eye away from his abuser.  

 

Brian looked at the man, but the short man never moved an inch.  Backing away, Brian wrapped an arm around the blonde and said, “My place isn’t too far.” 


	4. How Did We Get Here?

  
Author's notes:

Visual Notes:

Jimmy=Shemar Moore

* * *

Michael didn’t wait for the elevator; he just rushed up the stairs to Brian’s top floor loft.  He pounded on the door for several minutes before a half dressed; blond with a silly grin on his slightly bruised face answered the door.  “Hey.”

 

“Who are you?” 

 

“Ty,” he replied, blocking the way inside the loft.

 

Michael didn’t care; he just pushed right through Ty, calling out, “Brian!”

 

“Is there some reason you’re yelling?”

 

“Brian,” Michael said, approaching his friend.  “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for almost a week.  Where the hell have you been?”

 

“Calm down, Mikey,” Brian sighed, looking through a stack of pictures he held.  “What’s the emergency?”

 

“You found a dead body and you didn’t even call me,” Michael replied, standing in front of Brian.  The ad partner just walked in another direction undaunted.  “I’ve called here and you don’t answer.  I called your job and Cynthia said you’re working from home. I come here and no one answers the door…until today.”  

 

“My jeep is still at the impound and I haven’t bothered to rent a car since I get to pick it up tomorrow,” Brian replied, picking out one picture and showing it to Ty.  Ty looked at the picture, his face showing his distaste for the choice, and waved his hand dismissively.  Brian tossed the picture to the floor and showed Ty another.  This one the young man approved of, so Brian put the other pictures down and showed his best friend his choice.  “What do you think of this Mikey?  Does it make you want to go out and buy hand cream?”

 

“What?”  Michael looked at the picture and then at his best friend.  “What the fuck are you talking about?!  Brian, I’ve been worried about you!  First the dead body, then I can’t find you-”

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, do you ever shut up?”  Ty asked, maneuvering in front of Michael to stand near Brian.  He turned to his rescuer and pointed at the picture.  “I told you; that’s the one you want to use.”  He took a lollipop of out his pocket, took off the wrapper and stuck it in his mouth sucking on it loudly.  “I have impeccable taste.”

 

“And who are you?”  Michael asked, finally turning his full attention to the young man that was starting to try his patience.

 

“You don’t pay attention, do you,” Ty replied, sizing Michael up.  He slowly walked around the older man, his face wrinkling when something didn’t please him…and not much seemed to please him.  “My name is Ty and I’m a friend of Brian’s.”

 

Michael looked at Brian, shocked and frustrated.  Here he was worrying about his best friend and Brian didn’t even seem to care.  “You’re a ‘friend’? Hmmm,” Michael said, at his wits end.  “You’re a trick and it’s time you should leave now.”

 

“Mikey,” Brian sighed, already seemingly bored with the conversation.  He traipsed into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door.  “Be nice.  Ty’s had a rough week.”

 

“Yeah,” Ty replied, waving his lollipop.  “I was the one who found the dead body, you know.”

 

“I just hope that doesn’t count as necrophilia,” Brian added, pulling out an apple from the refrigerator.  “Because if it does, then I’m really narrowing down the shit I haven’t done.”  He took a bite and smiled at Michael, though his friend didn’t seem amused.

 

“No it doesn’t and that’s just gross,” Ty said, disgusted.  He and Brian exchanged smirks before Ty walked over to Brian and submissively asked, “Can I have a bite?”

 

Brian rolled his eyes, but he held the apple in front of Ty.  Instead of taking the apple in his hand, the blond leaned forward and took a bite while Brian still held the fruit in his hand.  

 

“Oh, Good Lord,” Michael lambasted.  “Can you just leave already?”

 

“No.”

 

“Brian,” Michael snapped, pushing Ty aside to confront his friend.  

 

“You’ve got to be the rudest little fuck I’ve ever met,” Ty said, confronting Michael though he did so from behind Brian.  “You barge in here, ignore Brian when he asks a simple question and bitch and complain about shit he can’t fix.  So, you couldn’t reach him; well, you’ve reached him now and what do you do?  You insult his house guest and whine like a baby!”

 

“House guest?!”

 

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Ty sighed.  He put an arm around Brian and leaned against him.  “I thought you only had one kid.”

 

“I thought I did,” Brian replied.

 

“Fuck you,” Michael said turning around, going to the door, opening it then turning around for one last final comment.  “Keep it up, Brian, and you won’t have anyone to push away anymore.”

 

Ty giggled as Michael left, slamming the door.  He put the lollipop back in his mouth and looked up at Brian.  His face changed when he met Brian’s steely glare.

 

“So,” Brian began throwing the apple in the garbage and walking away from his young lover.  “When are you-”

 

“Leaving?”  Ty finished.  He frowned, then looked at Brian’s expression.  He stared at the man and decided that another approach was needed.  “Right now…I mean, you’ve been super letting me stay here and everything.  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”  

 

Ty looked around for the few belongings he had with him and started shoving them into his backpack.  He gathered his meager stuff and approached Brian with a huge smile on his face.

 

“You got a place to say?”

 

“Sure,” Ty replied, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.  “I know this guy…he said I could crash there for a while until I got on his roommate’s nerves.  Apparently, his roommate can be a real drag…and not a drag queen, but a big ole stick in the mud.  If not…you know…I’m sure Ramon’s had enough time to cool down.  He probably doesn’t even remember what happened, since he was fucked up…” The young man lowered his voice and whispered, “He only gets that way when he’s fucked up…”

 

“Yeah,” Brian sighed, averting his eyes from Ty’s.  “Take care of yourself…”

 

“I will, but I just have one request.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“If we see each other, like at Babylon or something,” Ty said waiting until he and Brian’s eyes met.  “Wave…or say ‘hi’ or something…don’t…you know…”

 

“I will,” Brian replied softly.

 

“Thanks again for letting me stay here, you’re without question my hero,” Ty said, his mood, perky once again.  “I just wish there was a way I could pay you. Only I’m as broke as they come.  Getting jobs around here isn’t as easy as it looks.”

 

“It’s alright.”

 

“I just have to use what I got.”  Ty slowly approached Brian, taking hold of his shirt.  He ran his hand down the front of Brian’s shirt until he got to the older man’s pants.  Unbuckling them quickly, he was on his knees quicker and had Brian’s most famous part in his mouth before the Liberty Avenue’s most famous stud had a chance to even think.

 

****

 

“Here you go,” Debbie said, handing a check to Justin, who walked into the diner smiling. 

 

“Thanks,” Justin replied, ripping the envelope open.  His smile faded.  “Damn.”

 

“Not what you thought it’d be?”

 

“Actually it is,” Justin replied, seeing Emmett sitting at the counter alone.  He shoved the check in his backpack and sat next to his friend.  “Hey.”

 

“Hey, there Sunshine,” Emmett responded. “How are you this wonderful day?”

 

“I’ve seen better days.”

 

“Did you talk to Carl?”  Debbie asked, ignoring a customer who waved an empty glass at her.

 

“Yep,” Justin replied sadly.  “I went by the station and looked at the pictures, but I don’t remember the guy.  Are you sure Brian said I was there?”

 

“Brian called the guy Hotlanta,” Debbie stated.  “And he said you were there.”

 

“You’d think Brian wouldn’t remember the guy with all the tricks he’s fucked,” Emmett said.  

 

“It’s not like that,” Justin told Emmett in Brian’s defense.  “He can’t always remember their names, but he almost always remembers their faces.  He isn’t a complete asshole.”

 

“But, he is an asshole,” Emmett retorted.  “And I can’t believe you’re defending him.”

 

“Just because we’re not…together,” Justin said.  It was obvious he still wasn’t used to saying the words, though it had been well over a month since he left Brian.  “Doesn’t mean I don’t care about him…or worry about him.”

 

“It’s gonna be like that for a while,” Debbie told him. 

 

“I can’t imagine me not caring about Brian,” Justin agreed.  “He’ll always one of the most important people in my life.”

 

“Yes he will,” Debbie said, happy that the young man understood that simple fact and didn’t try to deny it.  Like his former lover.

 

“I just don’t know how it got this way between us,” Justin complained.  “I mean, I never see him, he can hardly look at me, let alone talk to me.  It’s just weird because I haven’t even _touched_ him in so long.”

 

“What do you expect?”  Debbie told him, a little shocked by Justin’s confusion.  “You left him…for another man!”

 

“But, he said I had to do what’s best for me,” Justin replied, defending his own actions.  “And he actually said he was surprised I didn’t leave him sooner. He wondered why I was still there!”

 

“Oh, Sunshine,” Debbie said, wanting to jump over the counter to give him a hug.  

 

Luckily, Emmett leaned over and wrapped his arm around his friend.   “Sometimes men are so confusing.  Who would’ve thought that Ted and I would be a couple?”

 

“Not me,” Debbie admitted.  She looked at one of her neglected customers and decided that they had waited enough.  She went over to them and started taking their orders.

 

“Not me, either,” Justin agreed leaning against Emmett for comfort and support. He took a deep sigh. “You should really talk to him…”

 

“I know,” Emmett replied.

 

“Don’t wait too long to tell him,” Justin continued, “Like I did with Brian.  It only made it worse.  Now he won’t even stay in the same room with me.”

 

“Poor baby.”

 

“You know what’s the worst part?”  Justin asked, sitting upright, looking at Emmett.  “It’s never going to be the same anymore.  Not that I always enjoyed how it was, but…”

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Emmett said.  He took a deep breath and let the air out slowly.  “But, you’re right.  Hell, every one is.  I’ve decided that it’s now official.  I will break up with Ted and I’ll do tonight.”

 

Justin looked at Emmett questioningly, “Huh?”

 

“I’m going to break up with Ted tonight,” Emmett replied.

 

“Good luck,” Justin said, grabbing his backpack.  He leaned in, gave Emmett a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye to him and Deb.  “I’ve gotta go.”

 

“Where are you off to?”

 

“Just tell me how things worked out,” Justin replied before leaving the diner.

 

****

   

Ted sat in Melanie and Lindsay’s living room sipping on a cup of coffee when Melanie walked back in.  “Lindsay’s sleeping with Gus,” she told her friend.  

 

“He’s still having nightmares?”  Ted asked, worry crossing his face.

 

“Yeah, but we’ve got it handled,” Melanie replied.  She could talk for hours about Gus, but she knew her friend wasn’t there to chat about children.  He had other problems.  “So…”

 

“So,” Ted said, glad that Melanie knew exactly why he was there.  “I wanted to talk to you about Em.”

 

“About how great things are going?”  Melanie asked.  She didn’t wait for an answer; she just asked another question.  “Or about how you two totally fucked things up?”

 

“Yeah, that’s the one…”

 

“Hey, Melanie,” Brook said walking into the room.  He looked at Ted, but ignored the man altogether.  “Where’s the broom?”

 

“Um, it’s in the utility closet off of the kitchen,” Melanie answered.  She looked at Ted, who was ogling the man before him.  “Ted, this is Brook.  He’s an old friend of Linds and Brian’s and he’s staying here for a few weeks.  Brook, this is Ted, he’s a dear friend of mine.”

 

“Hi,” Ted replied, standing up and putting out a hand for Brook to shake.

 

“I’d shake your hand, but it’s sticky with marmalade,” Brook said showing his hand.  He turned to Mel.  “I sorta broke a few of your jars when I was looking for pickles in your pantry…sorry ‘bout that.”

 

“That’s o.k. I’ll help you,” Mel replied attempting to stand up only to have Brook stop her.  

 

“I’m cleaning it up,” Brook said.  He stood there nervously then added, “and if you could find it in your heart not tell Dani, I’d really appreciate it.”

 

“No problem,” Mel answered as Brook left to clean his mess.

 

“Who was that?”  Ted asked gawking at the man as he walked away.  “He’s…he’s…Wow!”

 

Melanie laughed, carefully watching Ted watch Brook.  “This thing with you and Emmett…”

 

Brought back into reality, Ted answered, “I’m trying.”

 

“But?”

 

“But, it’s not how I thought it would be,” Ted replied sadly.  

 

“It never is.”

 

“The worst part is that it’s my fault,” Ted sighed.  “Em tried to let me down easy, but…”

 

“ _He kissed you_ ,” Mel said defending his actions.  “No one told him to do that.”

 

“I think he did it because of me,” Ted replied defending Emmett. “I tried to act like everything was normal after he… _rejected_ me, but…”

 

“You couldn’t?”  Mel answered.  “How could you?”

 

“I was acting like a baby,” Ted explained.  “And he felt sorry for me.”  He put his hand over his face and mumbled. “I’ve gone from a ‘sympathy fuck’ to a ‘sympathy boyfriend’.  How much lower can I go?”

 

Melanie wanted to say something to cheer him up, but she couldn’t think of anything other than, “At least you haven’t found a dead body.”

 

“Maybe he was cute,” Ted sighed.  “Maybe he was my soul mate.”

 

“You’re soul mate is still out there waiting for you,” Melanie disagreed.

 

“My soul mate,” Ted mused.  “Is a kind, sweet, caring man.  He’s romantic.  He’s hard working.  He’s unbelievably cute and adorable.  He listens when I talk and cares when I’m upset.  He’s devoted to me and couldn’t care less about other guys even if they want him…I thought that was Em.”

 

“It isn’t.”

 

“I know,” Ted replied, a tear making its way down his cheek.  “How did things get like this?”

 

****

 

Brian stretched his arms as he approached his door.  Someone had been knocking for a while, but he tried to ignore it.  Finally opening the door, he was met with an apprehensive Justin.  

 

“Don’t close the door on me,” Justin said, pushing his way inside before his former lover could say otherwise.  “I need to talk to you about the guy you found.”

 

Brian walked into the kitchen leaving his front door open.  

 

Justin waited for Brian to say something, so when the man didn’t, he decided to just talk.  “Carl and Deb said you said that I knew who the guy was, but I don’t remember him.  I thought maybe if we…talked…”

 

Brian sighed and sat on a chair at the counter and answered solemnly, “You remember who he is.”

 

“I don’t,” Justin replied walking up to Brian and reaching out to Brian only to stop when his hand almost touched the older man’s skin.  Justin could feel Brian’s anger emanating from his aura and it made shivers run up and down his spine.   Justin lowered his hand and his head and whispered.  “I don’t remember him, Brian…”

 

“Sure you do,” Brian replied easing off of the chair and moving away from Justin towards the bedroom.  “I brought him home.  It was the first time you made jambalaya for me.”

 

Justin thought about it when he recalled the event.  “He said he used to live in New Orleans with his boyfriend and do nothing but eat jambalaya and fuck.  He didn’t say his name, but…” Just saying the words allowed the memories to fill him.  “The kitchen was a disaster…and he was so nice.  I started using more Cayenne pepper after that…” He looked up at Brian. “You seemed to like it.”

 

Brian, however, didn’t respond.

 

“Brian,” Justin began moving towards his former lover.  “It doesn’t have to be like this…I mean, we-”  

 

“Brian, do you have tweezers?”  Ty asked, coming out of the bathroom with only a towel draped around his waist.  “Mine aren’t grabbing like they used to…” He looked at Justin, whose mouth was open looking at Ty, shocked. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.  I’m Ty, Brian’s friend.”

 

“Friend?”  Justin replied looking at Ty as if he’d lost his mind.  He slowly turned and looked at Brian, his face distorting.  Although he was dating a perfectly romantic man, he couldn’t hide his utter disgust with the blond standing in Brian’s loft in only a towel…looking very much like he used to.  He wanted to scream; he wanted to cry, but all he did was take a page out of Brian Kinney’s book on relationships.  He turned and left, slamming the front door as he did so.

 

Slowly, Brian turned and looked at Ty.

 

Ty tried to smile, but Brian’s glare ended that.  He sighed loudly and put his hand on his hip and leaned to the side showing how limber he was.  “Does this mean that I’m kicked out again?”

 

Without a word, Brian walked over to the door and locked it.  He turned around slowly and took a good look at Ty.  

 

Ty felt uncomfortable under Brian’s glare, so he fidgeted though he didn’t move from his spot.  The older man momentarily closed his eyes.  When he reopened them, he had only one comment to make.  “Bed…now.”  

 

****

 

“We’re tag teaming him,” Lindsay told Emmett, who sat on her couch next to her friend.  “Earlier I was with him, but now its Mel’s turn to stay with him.”

 

“How long has he had these nightmares?”  Emmett asked.

 

“Honestly,” Lindsay said, lowering her voice.  “About a month…ever since Brian left the country.  In a way I’m happy because it means that he and his father have a connection…but…”

 

“Mel,” Emmett answered.

 

“And I hate seeing my son like this,” Linds told him.  “Earlier this week Gus cried and cried for his ‘Dadda’ and who knew Brian was out finding a dead body?  Thank God he wasn’t at that dumpster earlier…or it could he could’ve been in that dumpster too.” 

 

“Well, he wasn’t,” Emmett stated.  “So, let’s be happy for even the smallest of miracles that come our way.”

 

“Oh, Em,” Lindsay said, as it dawned on her that Emmett was there to talk about Ted.  “How’s it going with Ted?  You know he was here earlier.”

 

“I’m actually glad I missed him.  I wasn’t prepared for the ‘big talk’ the first time we did it and I’m not looking forward to it now.”

 

“Oh, Em,” Lindsay repeated.  She had hoped that they could connect romantically, but it was obvious to everyone that sometimes friends are just that, as it was in this case.  “Mel and I hoped that everything would just work out.”

 

“Me too,” Emmett replied.  “I just thought if we acted like a couple, then…”

 

“You’d start to feel it?”

 

“Yeah,” Em agreed.  “But, when we were together…” Emmett tried to get the right words together to describe what sex with Ted was like, but decided against it.  There was, however, another issue that he felt helped explain his predicament.  “I think…I missed George.”

 

“Rebound,” Lindsay said.  She sighed.  “Maybe it was too soon after George.”

 

“I loved him, Linds,” Emmett replied as tears filled his eyes.  “I just think Ted was too soon.  Maybe if it had been another time, another decade…”

 

“I hate to interrupt,” Brook said walking into the living room wearing only a small towel, which hid very little.  He was dripping wet from head to toe and shivered.  “But, I think we’re out of clean towels.”

 

“They’re in the dryer,” Lindsay said standing up.  She began to walk out of the room when she introduced the two men quickly.  “Brook, Emmett, Em, Brook.  He’s an old college friend staying until his house is done.”  

 

“It’s an absolute pleasure,” Em replied as he watched Lindsay leave.  “You bought a house?”

 

“Yeah,” Brook said, clearly checking the other man out.  “This may sound weird seeing as I’m standing in front of you mostly naked, but you’ve got to be the most stunning man I’ve seen since I’ve gotten back to Pittsburgh.”

 

“Thank you,” Emmett giggled, feeling just a touch self-conscious.  “But, I’m sure Brian would disagree.”

 

“Brian’s in the ‘been-there-done-that-already-moved-on’ category,” Brook replied. Seeing Emmett’s eyes light up, he continued, grinning from ear to ear.  “You know I’ve gone out a few times since I’ve gotten back a week ago and it amazes me how much everything’s changed.  I didn’t even know that they moved the Post Office. I was looking for that place all day yesterday.”

 

“They moved that a few years ago,” Em told him.  “Did you find it?”

 

“Yeah, but when I got there it had already closed,” Brook said with a chuckle.  “Trust me, I went there first thing this morning, just to make sure.”

 

“Well, if you need someone to show you around,” Emmett suggested, trying not to be too obvious, but failing.  “I’d be _honored_ to be your guide to the new Pittsburgh.”

 

“Honored?”  Brook replied moving in close to Emmett, beads of water slowing dripping from his hair down his well-toned arm.  “I’d make all the guys jealous with a looker like you on my arm.”  

 

“Stop,” Emmett said then changed his mind. “Or don’t…you know how to make a guy feel better, don’t you?”

 

“In more ways than one,” Brook replied as a drop of water slowly made its way down his cheek.  

 

“W-w-where,” Emmett began, feeling a bit crowded, but enjoying every second of it.  “Where’d you want to start?”

 

“Well, seeing as we have two lesbians and a kid here,” Brook said.  “How about I meet you tonight at Woody’s. Let’s say…8:00?”

 

“Perfect,” Emmett said as Lindsay walked in with a laundry basket full of warm, clean towels.  “The town shall be painted red.”

 

Lindsay handed Brook a couple of towels, but the man put them back in the basket proclaiming that he’d fold them and put them away. “Seeing as I broke something of yours.  Did Mel tell you?”

 

“She did,” Lindsay told him.  “And don’t worry, we won’t tell Dani.”

 

Emmett looked at Brook questioningly and he answered, “My big lesbian wife.  I’d introduce you to her, but seeing as she’s a complete bitch, I’ll save you the torture.”

 

“Hey,” Lindsay said.  “You better watch out.  Dani hears you say that and she’ll kick you ass.”

 

“See?”  Brook replied.  He glanced at the clock and sighed, “Well, I have a meeting at 5:30, so I’ll get going now so I’m at Woody’s by 8:00.”

 

“Meeting Brian at Woody’s?”  Lindsay asked.

 

“No,” Brook replied walking away, then up the stairs.  “Just meeting the guy of my dreams.”

 

****

 

Michael took his place in front of the register and sat down. He flipped through the pages of his comic book absentmindedly as Vic put away various retail items around the store.  Michael barely looked at the pages before him, roughly turning each page and sighing.

 

“Alright, alright, he’s an asshole,” Vic said across the customer free store.  “I got it already.”

 

“I just can’t believe he let that Wonder Boy-rip off tell me to leave,” Michael huffed, closing the comic book.  “And that little prick is staying there!”

 

“Calm down, Mikey,” Vic said.  “It seems to me like he’s trying to go back to the way it was.”

 

“Well, he can’t,” Michael complained, “What he needs to do is run over Ethan with his jeep and shove that fucking violin firmly up his ass.  What he needs is…and I can’t believe I’m saying this… _is Justin_.  Not that drama queen, sucking on a lollipop, batting his eyes at Brian like an idiot.  Little prick.”

 

“I just hope Justin doesn’t find out about him.  The kid’ll be crushed, no matter who left whom.”

 

“Maybe it’ll wake him up and he’ll fight for Brian,” Michael wished.  “Anyone’s better than that snide little apple munching shit.”  Michael did his best impression of Brian’s new sexual partner, leaning limberly against the register while pretending to suck a lollipop.  He changed his voice to a higher pitch and batted his eyes.  “ _My name is Ty and I’m a typical gay stereotype.  I’m 23, I enjoy red lollipops, getting fucked on a dumpster and finding dead bodies with a guy I just met in an alley.  He’s so dreamy and his name is Brian.  Brian, can I have a bite of your appleballs or should I just pretend to be your ex-boyfriend so you can **get off?!**_ ” Vic laughed, but his nephew wasn’t finished.  “Its queers like him that gives the rest of us a bad name!”  

 

 

“I hate it when they do that,” a man said walking into the store.

 

Michael looked up at the customer and apologized.

 

“That’s cool,” said the handsome black man.  He wore a designer Italian suit and flashed a million dollar smile.  

 

“What can I help you with?”  Michael asked looking over at Vic, who gawked from his place across the store.  “We’ve got the new Blade and X-Men in.”

 

“Actually, I was looking for that,” the man said pointing to a cardboard cut out of Rage.  “He’s the gay superhero, right?”

 

“That’s him,” Michael replied, smiling.  He took a copy and handed it to the man.  He looked at the man thoroughly admiring his muscles that seemed to push through his suit.  There was no question that this man was one of the sexiest he’d ever seen.  The only question was: why is he buying Rage and most importantly, was he gay?  Michael thought about the question and though he was taken man, it never hurt to ask…“It’s called Rage and if I could ask…how did you hear about it?”

 

“I was talking to my ex,” the man said looking up from the comic book to wink at Michael.  “He said I had to buy it.  He started telling me about the plot and I had to tell him just to shut up about it.”

 

“I hate it when they do that.”

 

“Exactly,” the man said snapping his finger.  “I rather enjoy a book, or movie, or whatnot without getting all the extra info first.”

 

“Me too,” Michael said excitingly.  “That’s why I can’t stand movie trailers.  Usually you can tell what the whole movie’s about just by watching them.”

 

“And they always put the good stuff on the trailer.  When you see the movie, the rest of it is for shit.”

 

“Exactly,” Michael laughed.

 

“Well, put me down for one of these,” the man said, putting the comic on the counter in front of Michael.  “I’ll see for myself if it’s everything my ex said it was.”

 

“When you come back,” Michael said pushing buttons on his register.  “You gotta tell me what you think…I know some of the people who put it together.  I’m sure they’d be interested in your thoughts.”

 

“Sounds good,” the man said, handing Michael a credit card.  He looked around the comic book shop while Michael ran the card through the system.  “Is this your place?”

 

“Yeah, I just bought it last year,” Michael said, handing the man a slip to sign.  “It’s my little dream come true.”

 

“You have nice dreams,” the man replied, which made both Michael and Vic giggle.  He handed the slip to Michael, who handed him a bag with the comic inside.  

 

Michael looked at the paper and compared the signature with the credit card and said the man’s name out loud.  “Brian James Matthew IV?”

 

“That’s me, but you can call me Jimmy,” he said.  “Everyone calls my dad Brian and since my dad’s a complete ass, I’d rather people just call me Jimmy.”

 

“Jimmy it is then,” Michael replied, once again unable to contain his giggles.

 

“Thanks, and I’ll be back to tell you how it is,” Jimmy said passing by Justin as he left the comic store.

 

“Bye,” Michael replied, staring at the man as he walked away.

 

“Hubba, hubba,” Justin said, taking a long look at Jimmy through the window.  “Who was that piece of sexiness?”

 

“Brian…Brian James Matthew IV.”

 

“Brian?” Justin’s smile faded. “Run.  Run away from him like he was Celine Dion in concert and don’t look back!” 

 

Justin opened his backpack and took out a stack of drawings he had been working on, placing them on the register with a thump.

 

Michael picked up the pages, but he never took his eyes from Justin.  His giddy smile was replaced with concern.  “What did he do now?”

 

“I thought deep down, deep, deep down that Brian loved me,” Justin said zipping up his backpack and flinging it over his shoulder.  “But, he never did!  The first chance he got he replaced me with some over the counter blond fruit tart!  I thought I meant something to him- **stupid fucking me!”**

 

“Oh fuck,” Michael said, walking around the counter.

 

“Justin,” Vic replied, approaching the distraught young man.  “You have to understand-”

 

“I understand, Vic,” Justin said turning away, heading for the front door.  “I understand that Brian never loved me…it explains why he never, ever, said the words!  I should have just taken the hint when I could!  Three stupid little fucking words!” 

 

By the time Michael came from behind the register, Justin was out of the comic store, slamming the door behind him.  

 

Vic put an arm around his nephew, rubbing his shoulder.  Staring at the door, he simply said, “That would be one perspective, I guess he forgot that there are others.”

 

****

 

Emmett looked at his watch.  8:43 p.m. and Brook was late.  He had been sitting at Woody’s since 8:15 p.m. thinking he’d be casually late just so that it didn’t look like he was being too eager.  Grabbing his jacket, he moved to get up when he saw Brook come through the door.  Emmett sighed and waved to his date, who had to dismiss several suitors just to get to the table.

 

“Wow, you’re popular.” 

 

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Brook said, sitting down next to Emmett.  “My bitch wife was chewing me out for breaking Mel’s lamp.  It’s not like I meant to do it.”

 

“Why are you married to her?”  Emmett asked, chuckling at the absurdity of it.

 

“I don’t want to talk about her,” Brook said moving his face closer to Emmett’s.  “I want to talk about you...or not talk at all…”

 

Brook leaned in slowly and kissed Emmett, who flicked out his tongue, which was accepted lustfully.  Emmett enjoyed the well muscled arms that wrapped around him, leaning into Brook, who softly rubbed Em’s cheek with his thumb.  

 

****

 

Ted looked at his boyfriend and walked out of Woody’s, head hanging low so that no one could see his tears.  He actually went there to have a beer and think over things alone for a while when he saw Emmett at the bar making out with Lindsay’s friend.  He wondered when Emmett met Brook and when they’d first gone out.  Was this the first night?  Ted thought about it and decided that it didn’t matter.  He walked to his car and took out his keys when he saw a familiar face storming down the street not too far from him.  He wiped his tears away and called out to him.  “Justin!”

 

Justin looked over and saw Ted.  He really didn’t want to talk to Ted, in fact, he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone for that matter, but he made his way over to his friend, wiping his tears away before getting there.

 

“You need a ride?” 

 

“No, my place isn’t too far from here,” Justin replied.  Seeing Ted’s reddened eyes and forced smile, he changed his mind.  “Well, I guess so since it seems we’ve both had a pretty shitty day.”

 

“You can say that,” Ted said getting into the car and unlocking the door for Justin.  

 

“I’m sorry,” the younger man replied, getting into the door, buckling his seat belt.  For a moment he felt safe and smiled at Ted, who started the car.  “I know you wanted it to work with Emmett.  I’m sorry it didn’t.”

 

“Does everyone know?”

 

“He was trying to find a way to tell you,” Justin said turning to face Ted.  He put his hand on the older man’s arm so that Ted wouldn’t drive off.  “He loves you.  He really does.”

 

“He has a funny way of showing it!” Ted snapped, slamming his hands on the steering wheel over and over and over again, startling Justin who began to cry moving as far from Ted as possible.  

 

When Ted started to cry, Justin unbuckled his seat belt, moved closer and held the former accountant as they both cried together.  After several silent moments, Ted wiped away his tears and prepared to drive.  But before getting into gear he said, “Sorry.”

 

“It’s O.K.,” Justin replied, buckling up his seatbelt as Ted began to drive.  He kept a hand on Ted’s shoulder as the older man drove him home.   “Sometimes you just have to let it out.”

 

Ted looked at Justin, the younger man oblivious as he looked out of the window, and smiled.  “You’re pretty good at it.”

 

“At what?”

 

“You should think about quitting the starving artist routine and go to work as a shrink or a nurse or a priest,” Ted said.  “I hear fucking is optional.”

 

“Oh no,” Justin replied with a smile.  “I can’t even fix my own fucked up life.  In fact, I’m finding new ways to fuck up other people’s lives as well.”

 

“Brian’s life was already fucked up before you got to it,” Ted said, knowing exactly what Justin meant.  “He’s a complete and total asshole and he doesn’t deserve you.”

 

“No he isn’t, Ted, you just don’t understand him.”

 

“You still protect him,” Ted sighed.  “I wish Emmett was half as loyal to me as you are to Brian and that fucker doesn’t even deserve it.”

 

“You know, you two aren’t as different as you think,” Justin told the man.  “You’re Brian without all of the whoring and lack of commitment…”

 

“And looks and…height…”

 

“You’re attractive…”

 

“But, not hot and sexy like Brian,” Ted disagreed.  “Or you…”

 

“I’m not all that,” Justin said.  “I’m as replaceable as the next John Doe.”

 

Ted pulled over in front of Justin’s apartment and parked.  He turned abruptly and faced Justin saying, “My entire life I’ve been looking for a guy as sweet, as loving and as gorgeous as you.  Brian is an asshole for not knowing what he had in front of him. And don’t you ever forget that.”

 

“I won’t,” Justin answered, wiping away a tear.  “Ted, just know that you-“

 

Ethan knocked on the window, backing away when Justin opened the door.  “Hey,” he said grabbed Justin’s hand and pulling the blond out of the car.  After giving his boyfriend a quick kiss, he leaned in and said ‘hi’ to Ted.

 

“What are you doing out here?”  Justin asked looking at some bags in front of the apartment door.  “Is that our stuff?”

 

“That’s what I’m doing out here,” Ethan replied.  

 

“We were evicted?!”

 

“No, no,” Ethan said, calming Justin down.  “Our wonderful building was quarantined for pests.  They said that we’d be able to move back in a few weeks.  Thank God I was here because they’re not letting anyone in there at all.”

 

“Tell me you got my pictures!”

 

“They’re safe, beautiful,” Ethan said, grabbing Justin’s waist.   “I took them to my friend Johnny’s place.  He said we could stay there as long as we like.”

 

“Thank you for small miracles,” Justin replied.  He looked at Ethan then leaned down and asked Ted, “Could I ask you for a favor?”

 

“No need, get in,” Ted replied.  He drove the couple to Ethan’s friend’s house, which was an old worn down home on the older, seedier side of town.

 

Justin and Ethan thanked Ted, who didn’t leave until the couple were safely inside.  The artist walked into the house and held his nose, the stench of stale beer and marijuana attacking his senses.  There were people sleeping on the floor in various areas and Justin had to step over a few to get to where Ethan was taking him.  They walked down a steep set of stairs, which led to a small secluded area of the basement that was only lit by a single light dangling from the ceiling.  When Ethan turned on the light, Justin noticed the small bathroom with what looked like a shower in it.  On the floor was an old, worn mattress and several bags Ethan must have taken earlier, including Justin’s drawings.   

 

“The shower actually works,” Ethan said.  “Johnny and I’ve known each other for ages, so he let us stay down here instead of with the masses upstairs.”  He leaned in and kissed Justin on the cheek.  “I’m going to take a shower…want to join me?”

 

“Ummm,” Justin said stalling for time.  “I think I’ll just get situated…”

 

“Alright,” Ethan said, kissing Justin one more time before going to the bathroom.  “I’ll be right out.”

 

Ethan walked into the bathroom, pushed the door closed, but left it ajar, and started the water.  Justin looked around the room one more time.  Slowly, he sat down on the bed, waving his hand when dust filled the air around him.  He listened as Ethan hummed in the shower and just looked around the room, trying not to cry…and failing miserably.


	5. Finding Your Way

Justin swiftly made his way to Deb’s house with Ethan lagging behind him.  He rushed through the cool night hoping that he could get there in enough time to catch Deb before she left for her shift at the diner.  As he moved to get there more quickly, it seemed as though the gap between him and his boyfriend grew larger. 

 

“Ethan,” he called out, never turning around or breaking his stride.  He carried a large knapsack.  He shifted it from one shoulder to the other, struggling to keep everything in his hands while moving as fast as he could.    “We have to hurry or else we’ll miss her.”

 

“I don’t see why we have to go at all,” Ethan complained, his overstuffed backpack cumbersome on his back.  He held his violin case in one hand while carrying a bag in the other.  “We can stay at Johnny’s as long as we like and we do have our own room…Justin!”  Ethan stopped and put his bag down.  “This is ridiculous.”   

 

“Ridiculous?”  Justin turned around abruptly, the fury within him finally erupting.  “What’s ridiculous is staying at that place where I have to wake up with a rat or take showers with roaches!  I can’t live like this, Ethan!  Maybe I’m a spoiled brat, but I don’t care!  Now, we can stay at Deb’s until they let us back in the apartment or we can stay with my mom, but what I won’t do is go back to that fucking cesspool unless it’s to get the rest of my stuff…then I’ll have to have it all sterilized first.  That place is disgusting!”

 

“I know,” Ethan sighed.  “But, it’s only for a while.  You just need to give it some more time.”

 

“More time?”  Justin rolled his eyes.  “I gave it a week!”

 

“Four days,” Ethan corrected.

 

“Four days are _four days_ too long,” Justin replied.  He took a deep breath and sighed.  He had already made his decision.  “Look Ethan, I can’t do it.  So, if you love me like you say you do, you’ll come to Deb’s with me, because I can’t stay there anymore.  I just can’t do it.”

 

“I do,” Ethan said, taking his lover into his arms.  He kissed Justin lightly on the lips and reminded him, “We better hurry before she leaves for work.

 

****

 

“I just don’t understand why he won’t do it,” Lindsay told her partner as they shopped at the grocery store.  “I mean you’d figure he’d jump at the chance to buy something more visually pleasing.”

 

“He loves his fuck palace,” Melanie replied.  “Selling the loft and buying a place with a room for Gus means that he would be settling down and you know how Brian feels about that.  I mean he’d rather Justin leave him than tell the poor boy he loves him.”

 

“I just thought with the bond that he and Gus have that maybe Brian would simply consider it,” Lindsay said, weighing some bananas.  “But, he just turned me down flat.  I would have talked to him more, but he had someone waiting for him in his shower.  I wish I would have taken Gus with me, maybe that would’ve softened him up a little.”

 

“It’s never going to happen,” Melanie disagreed.  “Brian loves his loft just as much as he loves his jeep.  He thinks it makes him seem younger when in fact they’re merely symbols of his dying youth.”  Melanie thought about it, then added, “Which makes me wonder how we’ll know when he goes through a mid life crisis. From what I’ve seen in middle aged men, they look an awful lot like this.”

 

“Don’t let him ever hear you say that,” Lindsay warned, picking over the tomatoes.  “His only saving grace is that Dani’s older than he is and she’s even more sensitive about her age.”

 

Melanie let Gus play with her hand as Lindsay picked out more vegetables.  There they were in a grocery store just having a conversation and the topic once again turned to Dani.  She had to admit, Dani wasn’t around the house at all.  She had some big case she was working on that seemed to take all of her time.  Mel watched as Lindsay picked red over Idaho potatoes and decided that no time was better than the present.

 

****

   

Deb opened the door to find Justin and Ethan on the other side.  “Hey, there.”

 

“Hey, I’m glad we caught you,” Justin replied, going into the house.  Vic sat at the dining room table working on a puzzle.  

 

“What’s wrong, Sunshine?”  Deb asked closing the door after Ethan came inside.

 

“I told you about that other place, Deb, and I just can’t stay there anymore,” Justin explained.  

 

“Well you look like shit,” Deb replied, grabbing his face.  “What you need is a hot meal and a good night’s sleep.”

 

“Always works for me,” Vic said.

 

“I have the shift with you tonight,” Justin reminded her.  He gave her his most pleading look. “But, you did say I’d always have a place here, if I needed one.  And we really need a place to stay, Deb…”

 

“Of course,” Deb replied, chewing on her gum.  She slowly switched her looks from Justin to Ethan then back to Justin again, smile never wavering.  “You’re always welcome here, Sunshine…but, he can’t stay here.”

 

“What!?”

 

“You heard me,” Deb sighed.  She held Justin’s hand in her own and explained.  “You can stay here, but I can’t let him…you should know why.”

 

“Deb…”

 

“No, Justin,” Deb told him.  “If I wouldn’t let Brian keep his little clone here, then I can’t let Ethan stay here either.  Sorry, kiddo.”

 

“He wanted _that_ guy to stay here?”  Justin said.  When he heard himself he almost laughed at the absurdity of it.  Here he was about to complain that Brian would have the nerve to ask Deb for his new fling to stay here and here he was asking the same thing.  He intertwined Deb’s fingers in his own and looked back at Ethan.

 

**** 

 

“I’m jealous,” Mel said to Lindsay over a stack of pineapples.  “I see her and how you’re so excited by her and…I’m jealous.”

 

“Oh, honey,” Lindsay said.  Moving quickly to Melanie, she wrapped her arms around her lover and squeezed tight.  “You don’t have to be jealous.  I love you, you know that.”

 

“I know, but she was your first,” Mel mused.  “She’ll always be special…”

 

“Yes she will,” Lindsay agreed.  “But, you’ll always be the one.  The One.  The only one.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Lindsay said, taking her partner in her arms.  

 

They exchanged a quick kiss before hugging and returning to their shopping.  Lindsay watched as her lover moved to the dairy section and followed, pushing Gus in the cart.  “I can ask them to leave,” Lindsay suggested.  She waited for Mel to turn around before she continued.  “It’s not like they can’t afford to stay at a hotel.  Dani just wanted to stay with us so that we could catch up.  Be roomies…like old times.”

 

“It’s the old times I’m afraid of,” Mel sighed.  Although it was a tempting offer, she didn’t want Lindsay to feel like she didn’t trust her.  It’s not like Dani’s ever there, she thought, and maybe I’m jealous because I like Dani too.  “But, don’t worry about it, honey.  They sleep there, they shower there and they occasionally eat there, but Dani and Brook are gone for the most part.  It’s only another couple of weeks.  What could it hurt?”

 

“Brook could find a way to break the very foundation of the house,” Lindsay said, smiling.  “You know, you’re kinda sexy when you’re jealous.”

 

“I’ll probably be a little sexier for a while, then,” Mel admitted.  “But, I know you love me and I know that our love is real.  And I know that whatever comes our way, we’ll find a way to make it work out in the end.”

 

“Yes we will,” Lindsay replied, almost teary eyed.  “I love you.”

 

“I love you more.”

 

****

 

Deb walked upstairs to finish getting ready for work.  Vic also went upstairs using some obvious excuse, but Justin was happy for the moment alone with Ethan.

 

“You’re staying,” Ethan said, beating Justin to the punch.  “Even though she won’t let me stay here.”

 

“Ethan,” Justin whined.  He looked at the clock.  Seeing that he didn’t have much time, he got right to the point.  “I haven’t slept for more than an hour in days.  I need rest, Ethan, and I can’t get that there.  I have exams, I have bills to pay and I need to get some sleep.”

 

Looking into his lover’s eyes, Ethan conceded that Justin did need to rest.  The blond had dark circles under his eyes and he did seem on edge.  “I’ll call you later,” Ethan sighed, wrapping his arms around his lover.  “Just promise me that you’ll be at my concert next week.”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Justin said, holding onto the violinist tightly.  “In fact, I’ll be all rested to be your adoring fan, screaming from the crowds.” 

   

“Then I’ll have one and the record producers will know they can sell at least one CD,” Ethan replied with a smile.  “I better get back before it gets too late.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin said, walking him to the door.  

 

“I’ll bring your stuff by tomorrow afternoon,” Ethan told him as he went outside.  After one last kiss, Ethan said, “I love you.”

 

Justin looked into his boyfriend’s eyes and paused.  He smiled then kissed Ethan, finally responding, “I love you, too.”

 

Before Ethan walked away, Justin closed the door and walked into the living room.  He looked at his bags, and then looked at the door one last time before noticing Deb standing at the base of the stairs.

 

“Staying?”  Deb asked.

 

Vic came downstairs after her and immediately went to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator.  “I was going to make some broccoli rotini with crème sauce.  Or we have some leftover rigate if you’re hungry right now.”

 

“I’ll just eat at work,” Justin said, sliding his bags off to the corner.  “Deb and I are going to be late if we don’t leave soon.”

 

“I’m going to be on time, because I’m leaving now,” Deb said, putting her purse over her shoulder.  “But, since you’re not going to work, you don’t have to worry about that.”

 

“Deb, I have a shift with you…”

 

“And look at you,” Deb replied, looking him over from head to toe.  “You look like shit.  Now, since you’re not going to be living here permanently, I’m not going to charge you to stay here.”

 

“You’re just another family member here for a visit,” Vic told Justin.  

 

“And I know you need the money,” Deb added.  “But, you can make up your shift after you’ve gotten some rest.”

 

“I’ll make the rotini,” Vic decided, putting the pasta aside.  “You go upstairs, put your things away, take a shower then come down to eat.”

 

It only took Justin a few moments to mull it over before agreeing, “That does sound like an idea…but, only if I can make up my shift.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

Justin sighed happily and picked up his bags, taking them upstairs following Vic’s suggestion.  Deb and her brother watched smiling, not speaking until the young man was in his room.  

 

“You know big sis,” Vic said.  “If it had been Brian…”

 

Deb laughed, cutting of her brother’s remark before leaving for work.

 

****    

 

Emmett sat in a booth at the diner alone waiting for someone else to show up.  He watched as Deb busied herself around the diner, going from one customer to another.  Her only helper, a waiter that Emmett had never seen before, looked like he had his hands full taking care of the impatient customers at the counter.  Deb stopped by the tables a couple of times to tell Emmett that she’s be right back to take his order, but he wasn’t very hungry.  He hadn’t seen Ted in almost a week and his guilty conscious weighed on him.  

 

Emmett looked at his menu again, just so that Deb didn’t have to worry about taking his order.  He was trying to figure out what he could stomach when he felt arms wrap around him.  Looking up, he saw he was being hugged by young man he befriended not too long ago.  Standing next to Ty was Brian and Emmett wondered what exactly was going on.

 

“Hey, honey,” Ty said while he hugged.  “I’ve been meaning to call you.  I’ve got so much to tell you about my stay here in the ole Pitt town.”

 

“How are you sweetie?”  Emmett asked.  He looked at Brian, then back to his friend.  “I called your place and Ramon said you left him for some other guy…” Emmett looked at Brian, who sat down across from him.  “Brian…”

 

“I didn’t leave Ramon for Brian,” Ty said, looking at his menu.  “Brian saved me from Ramon and is being an honest to goodness knight in shining armor.  I’ve never had a hero before, but Brian is one without a doubt.”

 

“Well, you _are_ full of surprises aren’t you, Brian?”

 

“Not really,” Brian replied, glancing at Debbie as she rushed around the diner.  He looked back at Emmett then continued, “This actually isn’t my first hero gig, but you already know that, Em.”  

 

“And he’s modest to boot,” Ty said, chuckling with Emmett.  “Em’s the one who warned me about you.  Said that you were trouble.”

 

“And you should have listened to me.”

 

“So, **_this_** is your friend that you’ve been talking about?” Brian asked, smiling largely.  “The one who offered you a place to crash?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You can stay with me as long as you want, honey,” Em said, wrapping an arm around Ty.  “You, me and Michael can have a facial party.  We can give each other manicures and pedicures then talk about boys all night.  It’ll be divine!”

 

Brian looked over Ty’s shoulder and saw Michael and Ben enter the diner.  The couple looked around the masses of customers and saw Brian smiling at them, so they made their way over to him.  Quickly, Brian moved to the other side of the table, scooting Ty into Emmett, allowing for Michael and Ben to sit down together.  

 

Michael moved into his seat and Ben sat down next to him before he even looked up to see who was at the table. “Brian?!”

 

“ _Well_ , if it isn’t the whiny boy,” Ty said, putting down his menu.  “Are you here to torture Brian some more?  Would you like to order for him, or can he do that without your written consent?”

 

“You little shit,” Michael said, then deciding that talking to Ty was futile, he turned to his best friend.  “What the fuck is he still doing here?”

 

“Michael,” Em said. “This is Ty.  I was telling you about my friend Ty from California.”  Michael didn’t look at him, preferring to glare at the blond.  To jog his roommate’s memory Emmett continued, “I told you about his boyfriend _Ramon_.  The one who has anger management problems.”

 

“He’s trying to work out his personal demons,” Ty clarified.  

 

“I don’t give a shit,” Michael snapped.

 

“Michael,” Ben said, trying to calm his boyfriend down.  “It’s obvious you two got off to a bad start.  Maybe you should just let bygones be bygones and start anew.”  Michael appeared to be resisting, so Ben gave it one last shot.  “If not for yourself, do it for Brian.”

 

“Don’t do shit for me,” Brian quickly said, looking at his menu.  He looked around for Deb, who was delivering an order.  “Unless it’s to get your mother over here since I’ve been waiting for fuckin’ ever.  I’m starving and I could eat a fuckin’ horse.”

 

“Just as long as you don’t fuck the horse,” Ty said, nudging Brian.  “There are some things even _you_ shouldn’t try once.”

 

Brian smiled and replied, “I once fucked a guy who wore a horse costume at Mardi Gras.  Does that count?”

 

“Give me a break,” Michael snapped.  He turned around and waved for his mother, only to have her pass him by and help another customer.  

 

“Do you think she needs any help?”  Ty asked, watching as Deb took someone’s order.  “She looks like she needs the help and I really could use a job.”

 

“No!”  Michael barked.  “She does not need your help!”

 

“Well, I worked as a waiter for two years in California,” Ty told them all.  “I’m just saying-”

 

“What can I get ya?” Deb interrupted, breathlessly.  

 

“A job,” Ty answered, looking up in all earnest.

 

“That’s nice sweetie, but I can’t do that,” she answered, looking at Brian.  

 

“But, I was a waiter before and it-”

 

“I’m busy, angel,” Deb explained.  “So, can we get on with the orders?”

 

Michael was the first to help his mom, saying his order as quickly as possible.  Everyone else put in their orders and Deb was off once again to give their orders to the cook.  

 

“I told you so,” Michael said the first chance he got.

 

Ty rolled his eyes and slumped back in his seat.  Em gave him a side hug and he smiled, still watching as Deb rushed from one customer to the next.  Fifteen minutes later they were still waiting for their food.  Ty tried to fool around with Brian, but the older man just sat there pretending to listen to Michael about some comic book no one seemed to care about. It was at that point that a customer yelled across the diner.  “Hey can I get my order already?!”

 

Like the domino effect, one customer after another began to express their displeasure with the customer service.  Ty seized the opportunity, climbing over Brian.  He asked Deb, “So where’s table’s number one?”

 

Deb looked at the aggressive young man, then glanced around the diner.  “Number one’s at the front door and it goes all the way around.”

 

“Cool,” Ty replied.  He went behind the counter, grabbed a few orders on the same slip and delivered them.  He looked around the table.  “You’ve got to be the turkey on wheat, you’re the salad so you must be the veal with potatoes.  Can I get you anything else?”

 

When the customers said ‘no’, Ty looked at Deb, who nodded her head.  “You got a job,” she said before giving Brian a worried look. She smiled at Ty one last time before asking a customer what his order was.  

 

“I can not believe that little shit’s going to work here,” Michael said, shocked.  

 

“He’s a very determined person,” Emmett told his roommate.  “When he sets his mind to something…”

 

“Justin’s gonna flip,” Michael said to Brian, glaring at Ty as the young man worked.       

 

“Well, since everyone has to accept that Ethan’s a part of Justin’s life,” Ben reasoned.  “We’ll all have to accept Ty is a part of Brian’s.”

 

“No you don’t,” Brian disagreed.  “Since Ty’s not my boyfriend and he’ll be on his way very soon, especially since he now has a job.”

 

“This is funny,” Emmett said, glaring at Brian.  “You should really ask Deb for a referral.  Maybe next you should just ask her to let Ty stay at her place…”  He watched as Brian’s faced revealed the truth.  “…and you already have.  You know when I first met Ty, I just knew what would happen.  I even gave him lecture on how too **stay away** from Brian Kinney like you were a straight man, but _even that_ didn’t work.  You still found him like, a babe in the woods…”

 

“Maybe he took it as a challenge,” Brian replied with a forced smile.

 

“Asshole.”

 

“Or maybe you should really worry about your own life than butting into his… _or mine_ ,” Brian replied.  He leaned closer to Emmett and whispered, “So, how’s Brook?”  He moved back in his own seat and asked, “Or a better question…where’s Ted?”

 

“Like you give a shit about Ted,” Michael replied.

 

“Actually, you’re right, I don’t,” Brian agreed.  He looked at Emmett and raised an eyebrow.  “And yet, sadly, I’m the only one asking.”

 

****

 

Melanie, Lindsay, Dani and Brook sat around the dinning room table eating their dinner.  Although Lindsay and Dani had a chance to catch up, all four never had the opportunity to sit and talk since the guests had arrived.  

 

“So he just blew you off, huh?”  Dani asked Lindsay, holding her glass out to Melanie for a refill “Typical Brian.”

 

“What do you expect?”  Brook said, defending his friend.  “They are asking him to sell _his home_ , a place he loves.  That’s not some small request.”

 

“But, he just shot her down,” Mel replied, sipping her wine.

 

“Of course he did,” Brook told the woman.  “He just needs time to let it sink in.”

 

“I don’t think they want to wait ten years for it to finally get through,” Dani remarked.

 

“He’ll do it,” Brook said smoothly.  “He’ll do it when it **_needs_** to be done…no sooner, no later.”  

 

“And the Earth shall move only when the mighty Brian Kinney doth speaketh the words,” Dani proclaimed, raising her wine glass.  “And the ass cheeks shall part like the Red Sea and Brian Kinney shall take all the blond tricks of Liberty Avenue to the promised land called his loft.”  

 

Both Dani and Melanie laughed while Lindsay only smiled, shaking her head, trying not to join in their fun at Brian’s expense.  Brook, on the other hand, was serious and it appeared as if he didn’t appreciate his wife’s words about his long time friend.  “I thought you would give him a break, seeing as he found a dead body,” Brook told his wife.  “Seeing what you know about those dead bodies…”

 

“Brook…”

 

“Spill.  I’ve wanted to get the low down on this,” Melanie said.  She put her glass down and looked Dani in the eyes.  “I’m a lawyer, too.  This stays between us.  We’ll keep it a secret…”

 

Dani looked at Lindsay, who held her two fingers and said, “Honest Injun.”

 

“Not a word,” Dani told them sternly.  She looked at Brook, rolled her eyes and sighed.  “Both of you know about the body Deb found and the body Brian and Ty found.  What you don’t know about are the 3 more bodies 3 other people have found.  They’re all men and they’re all gay.”

 

“Do you think it’s a serial killer?”  Melanie asked.

 

“That’s why I’m here,” Dani said. “Me and an agent from Quantico.”

 

“That’s good,” Lindsay said, taking a deep breath.

 

“That’s shitty,” Mel disagreed.  “The FBI knows there’s a serial killer out there killing gay men and they only send a lawyer and one agent?  If they were killing straight men, they’d have a whole office of people to work the case.”

 

“They’ll get interested in it,” Dani sighed.  “When there’s a few more dead bodies to count…or when the media get to it.”  Dani looked at Mel and Lindsay carefully reminding them, “Which they won’t because you promised not to say anything.”

 

Mel picked up her wine glass and grunted, “I suppose so,” before taking a large swallow.  

 

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this anymore,” Lindsay conceded.  She gave everyone a calming smile and changed subjects.  “So, Brook, have you been meeting any interesting guys since you’ve been here?”

 

“A better question is: ‘Who haven’t you fucked since you’ve been back?’” Dani said, smirking at her husband.

 

“Brian,” Brook admitted.  “But, I met this guy who’s keeping me entertained for the moment.”

 

“Well, tell us all about him,” Lindsay said.

 

“I don’t have to,” Brook replied.  “You introduced us.”  When he saw that Lindsay couldn’t think of anyone he just said, “Emmett.  You know the hottie from the other day.”

 

“Emmett?”  

 

“You introduced Emmett to Brook?”  Melanie asked Lindsay, who looked puzzled.  “Ted’s Emmett?”

 

“When did this happen?”  Lindsay asked still confused.  

 

“When you went to get the towels,” Brook answered.

 

“I was gone for less than five minutes!”

 

“And I thought that situation couldn’t get any worse,” Melanie said, finishing off the wine in her glass.

 

****

 

Emmett knocked on the door hoping that Vic was up.  When Justin opened the door, he sighed.  “What are you doing here, Justin?”

 

“Long story,” the artist replied, moving aside so Emmett could come in.  He closed the door then turned off the television set.  He sat back down on the sofa and curled up in the blankets he had there.  “Deb’s at work, if that’s who…”

 

“No, I came to talk to Vic, but it looks like he’s turned in,” Emmett said, turning to leave.  “I’ll just go and talk to him tomorrow.”

 

“If it’s about Ted, you did the right thing,” Justin said, patting the cushion next to him, offering Emmett a seat.  “I saw to him yesterday and he seemed O.K. to me.”

 

“You saw him?”  Emmett asked, taking the seat offered.  “And what do you mean about the ‘right thing’?”

 

“Yeah I saw him,” Justin replied as if the question were insane.  “And you did the right thing breaking it off with him.  I think he knows deep down it never would have worked between you two.”

 

“Broke it off?  He told you I broke it off?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin said, confused.  “I bumped into him right after you did it.”

 

“Justin, I never broke up with him,” Emmett said, bewildered.  “When did all this happen?”

 

“Four, five days ago,” Justin replied.  Letting the event fill his mind, he recited, “I saw him outside of Woody’s and he had been crying.  We talked for a while then he took me home where I found my apartment had been quarantined.  Ethan and I stayed at this guy’s place, but it was disgusting, so I came to stay here.”

 

Justin watched Emmett, but it was clear the other man wasn’t paying attention.  “Emmett?”

 

“I was at Woody’s,” Emmett replied, tears starting to flow.  “But, I was there…sort of…with this other guy I met…”

 

Justin gave a pained look, then hugged his friend.  

 

“What have I done?” 

 


	6. Confrontations

Debbie scooped the sautéed mushrooms into the bowl and placed them on the table with the rest of the meal.  She asked the group if they were thirsty, but everyone had a drink, so she grabbed herself a beer and sat down between Ben and Carl.  Everyone told her how wonderful the meal was, but she didn’t take all of the credit, giving kudos to Vic, who prepared the salad and dessert.  The only one who was missing was Michael, who said he’d be over as soon as he ran an errand.

 

“He isn’t walking the streets at night, is he?”  Deb asked Ben.  “I don’t want him walking at night.  He can just call me and I’ll give him a ride.”

 

“No, he’s using my car,” Ben reassured her, serving himself a plate of pasta.  He looked at Carl and asked, “Did you ever find out who that guy was?”

 

“Jarod Thurman from Atlanta, Georgia,” Carl replied.  “He was visiting his sister here in Pittsburgh and one night he left for a date and never came back. His sister just thought he had met someone.”

 

“Its stories like these that keeps me up at night,” Deb sighed.

 

“I thought it was Carl,” Vic mumbled, as he shoved food in his mouth.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Mmmmm,” Vic answered, swallowing his food.  “Did I say this is delicious, sis?”

 

“No,” Deb replied, raising an eyebrow. “You-”

 

“Hey, hey,” Michael interrupted, coming into the house, taking off his jacket and sitting down at the open seat before even really looking at anyone.  “I’m starving.”

 

“Well, get something to eat,” Deb said.  When she noticed he didn’t stand up, she stood and started fixing her son a plate.

 

“You look like you’ve seen better days,” Ben told his boyfriend stealing a kiss afterwards.  

 

Michael hugged Ben and watched as his mother placed large amounts of food on his plate.  He had passed on breakfast to try and catch Ted at home before opening the shop, but his old friend wasn’t there.  He had a bag of chips in the afternoon, but he’d skipped lunch to try Ted at his office.  His friend wasn’t there and, according to the office manager at the porn site, Ted hadn’t been there all day.  Right after he’d closed the shop, Michael used Ben’s car to go back to Ted’s apartment, office and then to Woody’s, the health club, and Babylon, but only ended up back at his mother’s, still wondering where Ted was.  

 

“Here you go,” Deb said, placing her son’s plate in front of him.  She saw the worry on his face and immediately knew something was wrong.  “Brian giving you trouble?”

 

“No,” Michael replied.  “Still haven’t found Ted yet.”

 

“When he wants someone to find him, he’ll show,” Carl assured him.

 

“But, with these two deaths so close by…” Michael sighed.

 

“He’s avoiding us because he’s embarrassed,” Ben told the group, spooning more vegetables on to his plate.  

 

“Kinda like Brian when Justin dumped him,” Vic observed.  He shared a glance with his sister and they chuckled lightly together.

 

“This isn’t funny,” Michael whined.  

 

“Those two, I’m not worried about,” Deb replied with a giggle.  “They’ll just decide they both fucked up.  Don’t worry, Ted and Emmett will be making up and checking out all the new ass at Babylon next week-you wait.”

 

Michael slouched back in his seat and looked at his plate of pasta and vegetables.  “And it looks like Emmett has already started with that leech, Brook.”

  

****

 

Emmett stood down the hallway to Ted’s apartment and watched as his dearest friend unlocked the door.  As soon as Ted opened the door, Emmett rushed over, not surprised when his possibly ex-boyfriend shoved him away and tried to escape into his home.  Only, Emmett was agile enough to maneuver his way into the condo.  He took two quick steps inside then turned around to face Ted fully prepared for the worst, only to find his former best friend walking out of his own home.

 

“Please I’m sorry, Ted!”

 

“You’re sorry?!” Ted turned around, eyes flashing, face red.  He stared at Emmett for a long moment, and then softly closed his front door.  He moved to his kitchen and placed his keys next to an old newspaper on the counter.    He wanted to keep his cool, but every time he even glanced at Emmett, his cheeks flushed and his heart pounded until his ears rang.  “You could have just told me before running off with…with…”

 

“Brook.”

 

“Brook,” Ted hissed.  

 

“I didn’t run off with him,” Emmett begged.  “I was ju-”

 

“Making out with him in the middle of Woody’s?”

 

“It wasn’t like that!”

 

“Then tell me what it was like?”

 

Emmett thought about it and had to concede he was making out in the middle of Woody’s.  He thought about the choices he made, and wondered if his unconscious desire was for Ted to find out.  It did save him the trouble of having to tell Ted, however it also put him in this terrible position today.  “Well, maybe it was like that, but you know I never meant to hurt you!”

 

“So you try not to hurt me by making out with Lindsay’s friend?”

 

“I wanted to talk to you about us,” Emmett pleaded.  “But, I also didn’t want to hurt you and it never seemed to be the right time!”

 

“I to think I actually _asked_ you to stop working at jerkatwork.com,” Ted snarled.  “I should have just hired you full time, then maybe I could have gotten some hits for your ass!”

 

“Ted…” Emmett whimpered, tears sliding down his cheek.

 

“You **deserve** to be on my porn site,” Ted snarled.  His red eyes glared as he clenched his fists until his knuckles whitened.  Tears finally began to fall, but they did not soften Ted’s hurt heart as he simply murmured, “You little whore.”

 

****

 

“Don’t you worry about Ted and Emmett,” Deb said, handing Carl a piece of bread.  “They’ve been through a lot and they’ll work things out.”

 

“I don’t know,” Michael replied, taking the salad dressing his uncle handed him.  

 

“Ted’s a reasonable guy,” Carl told the group.  “He’ll be upset, but eventually he’ll forgive Emmett.”

 

“Because he knows Em loves him and didn’t mean to hurt him?”

 

“No, because he doesn’t have any other friends,” Carl replied, making Deb laugh.

 

“That isn’t funny,” Michael replied.

 

“Oh, honey, it was a joke,” Deb told her son.  “And with all the shit that’s happening around here lately, we need something to lighten the mood.”

 

“ _That’s riiiight_ ,” Vic said as he remembered the events before the dinner party arrived.  He looked at his sister then back to his nephew.  “Justin and Ty are working a shift together.”

 

“What?!”  Michael asked. “When?!”

 

“Right now,” Deb answered solemnly.  Her first plan was that she, Ty and Justin would work the same shift, so that she could keep an eye on them.  She even considered canceling the dinner, but Justin wouldn’t think of it.  Her only solace was that Justin’s initial reaction to the news wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be.  “I warned Justin before he left today, so he knows exactly what he’s walking into and he was fine with it.”

 

“I’m staying up tonight,” Vic told them.  “So when he comes home we can discuss the events of the evening in a civil and diplomatic fashion.”  The chef cleared his throat then changed his mind.  “Or we’ll probably just talk shit about Ty until we fall asleep.”

 

“I’m lost” Michael sighed.  “He’s staying here…again?”

 

“Yeah,” Ben replied.  “Justin’s staying here until his apartment is cleared from quarantine.  It’s something about pests in this building or something.”

 

Michael looked at his mother shocked.  “Please tell me you’re not letting Ethan stay here?!”

 

“I’m not,” Deb replied firmly.  There was one thing she wanted to make clear to both Justin and Brian: she was not taking any sides.  She loved them both and she wanted both of them to feel like they could come to her if they needed.  “I’ll explain it to you like I explained it to Justin.  I wouldn’t let Ty stay here so I wouldn’t let Ethan stay here.  The only reason why I offered Ty a job was that Marsha quit on me and I needed the help…not to mention he’s a pretty good little waiter.”

 

“I actually can’t believe how calm Justin was about the whole thing,” Vic admitted.  “He didn’t look mad; he just thanked Deb for warning him and went to work with a smile on his face.”

 

Ben, Michael and Carl looked at Vic in disbelief, but Deb shook her head in agreement.  “He was cool as a cucumber.”

 

“I hope that doesn’t fool anyone,” Michael said.  

 

The group sat in silence for a long moment, eating and stealing glances amongst themselves.  When Carl was finished eating, he placed his napkin neatly over his plate and addressed the group, “I think I’ll place $20 on Ty.”

 

“I take you on that,” Vic replied, taking money from his wallet.  “I’ve got $20 that says Justin will kick Ty’s ass.”

 

“I’ve got $20,” Ben said, licking his fingers then pulling out his wallet.  “That says Ty will come out on top.”

 

Michael gave his boyfriend a disapproving glance before announcing, “Not only do I think Justin will wipe the floor with Ty, I say that Ethan’s history in…two weeks.”

 

“You should change your name to Mysterious Michael,” Vic laughed

 

“I’ll accept that bet,” Ben said laying down his money.  

 

“You’re gonna lose,” Michael told his boyfriend.

 

“Just as long as I lose to you,” Ben replied, wrapping an arm around his lover.  He kissed Michael softly and added, “But, that won’t be a problem since Justin and Ethan love each other and won’t break up and Ty has twice the spunk Justin ever had.”

 

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Michael said confidently.  “You never knew Justin before the…well, as soon as it really hits him that he doesn’t have Brian and _that_ little prick does…no amount of violin playing or lollipop sucking is going to keep him from getting Brian back.  Ty better watch out!”

 

“Well, we all can agree on one thing,” Carl told the group.  “The meeting between those two isn’t going to go well.”

 

***

 

There was a constant crowd at the diner, keeping both Justin and Ty busy for most of the evening.  It wasn’t until a group of 12 left that either of them had a chance to catch their breaths let alone talk about anything but orders and the soup of the day.  As soon as the large group vacated, Ty cleared their tables, happy that the rush was finally over.  After taking the used dishes to be cleaned, he wiped down the tables and got them ready for the next customers.  Fortunately for the two waiters, there weren’t any new orders to be taken.  

 

Being new and not knowing exactly what to do while it was slow, Ty approached Justin and spoke in his always chipper demeanor.  “So…Justin, is there anything I can help you with?”

 

“No,” Justin replied from behind the counter. 

 

 A moment later a customer asked for ketchup and as quickly as he could, Ty handed Justin a bottle of ketchup, which the art student took, suspiciously, then handed to the customer.  He looked back at Ty, smiled and said, “Thanks.”

 

“You know, I thought it was going to be… _unpleasant_ working with you,” Ty admitted as Justin tried to keep busy.  “Seeing as I’m shacked up with your ex, **but** you’ve been _nothing_ but the sweetest thing.  I can totally tell why Brian was with you; you’re and angel _and_ a hottie with an _ass_ that doesn’t quit to boot.”

 

“Thanks,” Justin replied, not really sure how to take the comment. He wiped off the counter and handed a customer his bill.  He glanced over to Ty and wondered aloud, “So…you and Brian are dating?”

 

“Hell no,” Ty chuckled.  “Brian fucks me…then he goes off and fucks the masses.  If I’m lucky, he’ll come back home and fuck me again.  If I’m _very_ lucky, the trick will get lost on the way back to the loft and I can have the king of hedonism to myself.  But, as you can tell by my current status…I’m not that lucky.”

 

“That was my entire relationship with him,” Justin admitted.  He took a moment to gather his thoughts and tried to be as earnest as he could.  “That’s why **I** ended it with him.  He’s never going to change and he’ll always fuck whoever he wants…because he can…because he’s Brian fucking Kinney.”

 

“So, _that’s_ his middle name,” Ty giggled.  “I thought it was Asshole.”

 

“That too,” Justin replied.  He couldn’t help but smile.  He handed a customer some extra napkins then leaned against the counter.  He watched Ty help a customer and thought that maybe he jumped to conclusions about his ex’s newest fling.  “Sorry about my behavior…from before.”

 

“No problema,” Ty told him.  He leaned on the counter next to Justin and lowered his voice a bit.  “I would’ve acted the same way or worse if I walked into my ex’s and some guy was there naked.  And _I left him_ …in a pile of garbage… ** _after_** _Brian kicked his ass!_ ”

 

“Brian beat up your boyfriend?!”

 

“Something like that,” Ty replied.  “He was saving me from my ex, Ramon.  Ramon has some sobriety issues and some jealousy issues…and some anger management issues.  He thought I was cheating on him, so he took it out on my face.”

 

“Oh my God,” Justin said concerned.  “How could do that to you?”

 

“Well, because _I was_ cheating on him,” Ty confessed not able to hide his snide smirk, though he tried.  “In fact my intention that night was to cheat on him with this really cute guy I met at Woody’s, but he stood me up…in an alley…where I met Brian…and found a dead guy while he fucked me senseless on a dumpster.”  He started to giggle then sarcastically added, “Don’t you wish you could be me?”

 

“I’m so happy Ethan isn’t that way,” Justin said, smiling with his new co-worker.  “He is so romantic and _monogamous_.  I had never really felt what is to be wanted by a guy and for him to only want me.  But, Ethan is so wonderful and he _always_ tells me how much he loves me.”

 

“I’m jealous,” Ty replied.  “Brian can _barely_ remember my name and Ramon only says he loves me after he wakes up in jail and needs bail.”

 

“When Brian finally does start to remember your name,” Justin said in all sincerity.  “Don’t ever think it means you’re just one step closer to love, because I waited 2 years and I never heard the words.”

 

****

 

“I just think all of you are being a little hard on Brian,” Carl said as Deb put a plate with a large piece of chocolate mousse pie in front of him.  “I can see where he’s coming from.”

 

“So, if you and my sister break up,” Vic asked the detective.  “Your plan will be to go on a date with the next obnoxious waitress with a queer son that you see?”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Carl replied over Ben and Michael’s chuckles.  “What I’m saying is that Justin left Brian for another man _and_ from what I’ve seen of Brian, he doesn’t take too well to change.”

 

“We all know Ty’s nothing but a substitute,” Vic said matter-of-factly.  “Our problem lies in the fact that Justin doesn’t see it that way.”

 

“Maybe he shouldn’t,” Michael huffed.  He thought about some of his recent conversations with Justin and wondered where everything went wrong.  There was a really long period of time where Brian could have fucked the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Justin would have forgiven him.  “How did things get so fucked up between those two?”

 

“I dunno,” Deb replied, scratching her chin.  “Could it be because Brian can’t keep his willie out of other guys’ nelsons?” 

 

“Justin just outgrew Brian,” Ben explained.  “He needed something more and Brian just couldn’t give it to him.”

 

Michael sat and thought about what Ben and his mother said and pondered the events that took place before the big break up.  Every moment he spent with Justin and every word that Brian ever said about his lover crossed his mind. “He never said it,” Michael whispered.

 

“What?”

 

“He never said it,” Michael repeated.  His pallor face expressed his utter shock.  “He never said the words.  That asshole never said the fuckin’ words!”

 

“What words?” Deb asked.

 

“I love you.”  The words dripped off of Michael’s lips like an Antarctic wind.  “He never told Justin he loved him…even though everyone _already_ knows.  Asshole!”

 

“Tell us something we don’t already know,” Deb told her son.  

 

“I know Brian’s an asshole,” Michael replied as the truth weighed on his heart.  “It’s just that we all know…everyone already knows how much Brian loves him.  So why can’t he just say the words?”

 

“Maybe he’s afraid his heart will get broken,” Deb reminded Michael.  

 

“Maybe he’s afraid that _love is a battlefield_ ,” Vic chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

 

“They’re three words!”  Michael lambasted.  “If Brian would have just said those three little words, then Ty wouldn’t be in my life right now!  Justin would be happy, he and Brian would be together and did I mention that Ty wouldn’t be in my life right now?!”

 

“First off, we’re not so sure Justin would really be happy,” Ben disagreed.  “Second…they’re not just three words; they’re supposed to mean something.”

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Michael sighed.  “He loves Justin, so they would mean something.”

 

“Maybe things aren’t as clear cut as we’d like to think they are,” Ben replied.  “Currently, it’s a problem for him to say ‘I love you’ to anyone.  Honestly, I admire Brian for taking the words so seriously.  I’d never expect that from him.”

 

“He doesn’t have a problem saying it to me,” Michael retorted.  As soon as he saw Ben frown, he wanted to take the words back.  Unable to turn back time, he opted to add, “…or Linds.”

 

“There’s a good reason for that,” Deb explained.  “In his own way, Brian loves us all and he has his own special way of showing us.  The difference between the way he shows you and way he shows Justin is that he’s **_in love_** with Justin…he’s not in love with you.  Because he’s in love with Justin, he’d actually be handing over his heart to Sunshine.  You, on the other hand, are safe because he’s not actually giving you anything but his _time_.  For Brian to say those words to Justin, he’d be handing his overprotected, slightly underused heart to a teenager.  Every time he says it to you…you only get the words.”

 

****

 

“Is that how little I meant to you?”  

 

“Little? You meant everything to me!” Ted screamed.  He walked across his living room and knocked over a vase and some picture frames sitting on the coffee table.  He sat on his sofa, put his head on his knees and covered his head with his hands.  His entire body ached and his head began to throb when he saw water drip from the vase he just knocked over onto his recently steam cleaned carpet.  At this point he just felt broken.  “I can’t do this anymore.”

 

“OK.”

 

“Can you just leave?”  Ted mumbled.  He felt Emmett’s arms wrap around him, but was too tired to continue to push him away.  They sat there for a moment when Ted decided that he didn’t want Em to leave and was glad that his friend had just ignored him.  

 

“We can fix this,” Em finally said.  He rested his head on Ted’s back and sighed. “I mean we’ve fucked up a million times individually and we’ve always been there for each other to make things better. It seems fitting that when we fuck up together that we make things better together too…don’t you think?”

 

“Yeah,” Ted replied, though whether he was agreeing or giving up wasn’t entirely clear.  

 

“We’re going to work this out?”

 

“Yeah,” Ted repeated.  

 

“I know it’s not going to be a smooth ride, but we’ve been through bumpier roads than this,” Em said, trying to make Ted, along with himself, feel better.  “You remember when I had sex with that lesbian?”  He felt his now ex boyfriend chuckle and smiled, remembering his taste of heterosexuality and how, no, **who** was there for him when he was so lost.  “You did so much for me.  Then you went and saved me from myself.”  

 

Emmett closed his eyes and felt Ted’s shirt dampen with his tears.  “I wish this could work,” he confessed.  “Then I’d know I was someone’s special someone.”

 

“You’ll always be special to me,” Ted said still covering his head with his hands.  “And I’ll always love you, Em.  No matter what…just know I’m going to need some time…” 

 

“Take all the time you need,” Em sighed.  “I’ll always be here…”

 

****

 

Ty put his tip in his pocket and wiped the table off with a rag.  He checked on a customer then sat at the counter in front of Justin who was restocking straws.  “So,” he said, watching Justin attentively.  “You and Ethan are madly in love…”

 

“Uh…yeah” Justin replied.  “Madly.”

 

“So?  You know all about Brian, tell me about Ethan.”

 

“He’s a violinist,” Justin answered.  “In fact, in a few days he’s performing in a concert where he’s going to be seen by a bunch of record execs who might sign him to their label.  He’s really excited.”

 

“That’s really cool,” Ty said, noting Justin’s personal lack of excitement.  “So, he’s going to be doing a CD or something?”

 

“He already has a CD, now all he needs is the company to distribute it,” Justin replied.  “I would give you one, but I don’t think Brian would appreciate it.”

 

“I don’t think he’d care,” Ty disagreed with a smile.  

 

“He probably wouldn’t,” Justin agreed, trying to laugh off the pain the thought of Brian not caring caused.  “Since he doesn’t care about anyone or anything, except maybe his dick.” 

 

“That’s not necessarily true,” Ty replied.  “He gives a shit about _some_ people.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Just what I said,” Ty answered, bluntly.

 

“I hope you don’t think that Brian’s starting to have feelings for you,” Justin told the California boy.  To Justin, the mere idea of Brian and this other man being a couple was unfathomable.  “Because…he will _never_ love you.  He can’t love anyone more than he loves himself.”

 

“You think I give a shit about that?” Ty asked.  He glanced around the diner and saw that the customers were eating, chatting or picking up a date, so he leaned back in his seat and explained the situation to his new lover’s ex as clearly as he could.  “Let’s make one thing clear: _I don’t love_ Brian.  I think Brian’s a cool guy.  I think he’s sexy, charming and the best fuck out there…I know, I’ve sampled my fair share.  He’s strong and honest.  He’s a giving man and more importantly, a _wealthy_ giving man who’s letting me stay at his place and eat his food for free.  He always pays for everything and I’m never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially when he’s sucking my dick.”

 

“So, he’s nothing but your sugar daddy?”

 

“That’s right,” Ty replied.  

 

Justin let the words sink in as he served a customer then rang up another’s bill.  When he was finished, he made his way over to Ty, cleaning as he went along.  “Don’t you…doesn’t it…”

 

“What?”

 

“Never mind, it’s none of my business.”

 

“I’m an open book,” Ty told him. “And now I’m curious.”

 

“Alright,” Justin said, thinking of the most delicate way to ask his question.  “Doesn’t it make you feel cheap?  It’s almost like you’re…prostituting yourself just for a place to stay.”

 

“I’m not _prostituting_ myself,” Ty replied, obviously offended, “unless you’re admitting to being a whore too.  So, don’t stand there and pretend that you weren’t in the same position I’m in right now: living off of the walking gold card.  The only difference is that you were stupid enough to let him go.”

 

“ _I_ would never _let myself_ mooch off Brian!”

 

“Liar.”

 

“You don’t know anything about me,” Justin said, “or about Brian.”

 

“I know _a lot_ about Brian,” Ty replied.  “For example I know he’ll be waiting outside for me in about two minutes so that he can take me home and fuck me senseless.”  Ty looked at the clock on the wall.  “Oh, look, quitting time…have fun, dearie.”

 

Justin watched Ty toss his apron behind the counter and run outside where Brian was standing by his jeep smoking a cigarette. Brian was still wearing his business suit, so Justin knew Ty was right.  Brian would go home, possibly shower then fuck Ty until he fell asleep.  He felt the tears well up inside, so he closed his eyes and pushed them back.

 

“You look like you can use a friend…”

 

“Huh?”  His concentration broken, Justin opened up his eyes a saw a face from the past.  “Where the hell have you been?”

 

“Rehab,” Blake replied.  “Only this time I stayed for the long haul.”


	7. Bleach

The concert hall was filled to capacity as Ethan played a moving rendition of Mozart’s violin Concerto Number 4.  Although he had told Justin that the piece was ‘simple’ and ‘not worth the time playing’, he showed his mastery of the selection, impressing the numerous record executives that applauded with fervor when the set was finished.  

 

Justin watched Ethan leave the stage and start hobnobbing with the music elites and he decided to stay with Blake, drink champagne, eat bad hors d'oeuvres and listen to how the former meth addict cleaned up his act.

 

“You know what the worst part was?”  Blake asked, as he and Justin slowly walked through the groups of people.  “Waking up in jail then figuring out, ‘hey, maybe I have a problem’.”  

 

“I wouldn’t last two seconds in jail,” Justin said, finishing off his drink.  A waiter passed him and he easily swapped a full glass of champagne for his empty one.  “I’d be someone’s bitch before I even got to my cell.”

 

“You’re right,” Blake agreed.  “I was.”

 

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry…”

 

“Don’t be, I’m not,” Blake reassured Justin.  “I made a mistake.  Hell, I’ve made a million of ‘em, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fix ‘em…or at least try to.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied.  “I suppose you’re right.”

 

“Right about what?”  Melanie asked.  She gave Justin a hug then commented on Ethan’s performance when she finally noticed Blake standing there.  Stunned, she politely greeted the man then excused herself.  “I should go get Lindsay; she said she wanted to see Ethan.”

 

“I don’t think she likes me very much,” Blake said when she left.

 

“She’ll get over it,” Justin replied, taking a hors d’oeuvre from a waiter’s tray. “So stop worrying.”

 

“What if she talks to Ted first and-”

 

“Stop worrying,” Justin repeated, shoving his hors d’oeuvre in Blake’s mouth.  He then straightened out the other man’s jacket and shirt.  “When Ted gets here, you and he will talk and at the very least you’ll get to apologize for what happened between you two.  So, don’t worry about Melanie and just think of what to say to Ted.”

 

“I’m going to throw up,” Blake said, nervously looking at a few of the entrance doors.  

 

“Go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face,” Justin told him, pushing the other man towards the men’s restroom.   “And get a grip.  I’ll keep an eye out for Ted for you.”

 

“You’re Justin, right?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Name’s Dani,” the woman said, holding out a hand, which Justin shook.  “I’ve heard a lot about you…”

 

“Linds told me all about you,” Justin replied with a smile.  “It’s cool that you can come today.  She said you were a DA, so you must be busy all the time.”

 

“I am,” Dani admitted.  “But, I had to meet you and, honestly, I couldn’t wait one second longer.”

 

Surprised, Justin asked, “why?”

 

“I heard so much about you,” Dani replied.  “And I had to meet what type of man could put up with Brian Kinney’s bullshit for two entire years.”

 

“I was a boy when I met Brian, but I’m all grown up now.”  

 

“And apparently smart enough to walk away from that selfish bastard,” Dani chuckled.  “He and Brook have to be the lowest form of existence out there.”

 

“Brian isn’t all that bad.”

 

“You’re joking right?” Dani laughed.  “Brian puts Brook to shame.  At least Brook pretends to give a shit about the guys he fucks.”

 

“At least Brian is honest,” Justin retorted.  “I’d rather know the truth than to have my boyfriend go behind and cheat on me like a coward.  I knew exactly what I was getting into with Brian and I didn’t care.  He never lied to me and he always told me if he was with a trick.  He never broke any of our rules…my rules.  Everyone always calls him an asshole and he works very hard to live up to those expectations, but the truth is that deep down…he’s a nice guy.  In fact, he’s a great guy and when he figures out that love isn’t such a bad thing; I hope he finds someone who loves him more than anything in the world.  He deserves that.”

 

“You should be his lawyer,” Dani said in all seriousness.  “You make a very convincing argument, although I doubt your candor, considering you were the one who ended it with Brian…for that handsome violin player nonetheless.”

 

“It was really never about Ethan,” Justin admitted.  “But, I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

 

“What’s that?”  Ethan asked, grabbing Justin from behind and hugging him.  

 

“He’s a modest artist,” Dani replied, introducing herself to the violinist.  

 

“Well, I hate to interrupt, but I have to steal Justin and introduce him to a bunch of boring suits,” Ethan said, already pulling Justin away from the attorney, who turned and looked for Lindsay and Melanie.

 

Justin felt relieved having escaped one uncomfortable situation only to find himself in another.   Standing in front of a row of men, he was introduced to each, having forgotten their names and titles before finally being introduced to one of the executives at the Classical Division of Capitol Records, Ashley Dailey.

 

“I was just telling Ethan about Italy,” Ashley informed Justin with a smile.  “Everyone’s beautiful and they all seem to be doing beautiful things.”

 

“I’ve always wanted to go to Italy,” Justin said.  “Although if I had a choice, I think I’d want to go to France first.”

 

“You can go to France from Italy, it’s not that far,” she replied, checking with one of her comrades, who agreed.  “In fact, you can stop by France when Ethan’s touring Europe.  His stop there is in about…three and a half months, but he’ll be there for two months, then you can see all of France.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I was going to surprise you later, but since the cat’s already out of the bag,” Ethan answered happily.  “I’m signing a two year contract with Capitol, which means that I’m going to be recording a new CD in Italy, and then I’m going to tour Europe to support the CD.”

 

“Tell him the best part,” Ashley interrupted.

 

“It’s comes with a cash bonus and an all expense paid trip to Italy,” Ethan boasted.  “And we leave as soon as we can get packed!”

 

Justin smiled, but he couldn’t hide the shocked expression on his face.  He looked at Ashley then at Ethan and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

 

Ashley laughed.  “I think he’s surprised.”

 

****  

 

When Brian opened his front door, he wasn’t surprised to see Michael standing there glaring at him.  It was becoming as common as Michael barging into his loft complaining about something before even saying hello.  

 

Brian closed the door after Michael entered and walked into the kitchen.  He heard Michael complaining but, since he wasn’t paying attention, he really had no idea what his best friend was talking about.  He took out a carton of milk from the refrigerator, smelled it then tossed it in the garbage.

 

“Are you even listening to me?!”  Michael whined, waving his hand in front of Brian.  “Have you heard one word I said?!”

 

“How could he not?”  Brook replied, leaning on the bathroom doorway.  He wore dress slacks, a black tank top and a cowry bracelet that Michael noticed immediately.   “You bitch and complain about as much as Dani does and that’s no small feat, ya know.”

 

“It’s like a nightmare I can’t wake up from,” Michael said.  Although he pointed a finger at Brook he stared at Brian, his eyes pleading to reach a friend that seemed to be slipping away from him.  “First Ty and now Brook; what’s going to finally satisfy you, Brian?  Where is this all going to end?”

 

“No need to be jealous, we’re not fucking, Annoying One,” Brook answered, hugging Brian from behind.  He pressed his groin against Brian’s butt and moaned in his neck before adding, “But, it’s definitely an option…”

 

“Please,” Michael snickered. “I’m not jealous; I have a wonderful boyfriend, who loves me…”  Michael glared at Brian, “and isn’t afraid to tell me so.”

 

“Whatever,” Brook said.  “Like some pencil neck geek can even compare with Brian.  Oh that’s right, you can’t compare Brian, since you and he have never known each other in a biblical sense.”

 

“There’s nothing about me that’s biblical.”  Brian chuckled, and then added, “Unless you count the priest I fucked.”   

 

“Ben isn’t some pencil necked geek,” Michael replied with a smile.  “In fact, Ben is the hottest guy in Pittsburgh.”

 

“Is that right, Brian?”

 

Michael watched Brian, but couldn’t tell what he was thinking.  Brian just seemed to drift off momentarily, before resting his icy hazel eyes back on Michael.  “Mikey’s been dating Ben for a while now,” he said, padding into his bedroom, turning his back on both of his friends.  “For six…seven months now?”  He glanced back at the pair.  “And he is definitely hot, because I only fuck hot guys.”

  

“Explains why he never you fucked, Novatny,” Brook laughed.  “And the sad loser gets sloppy seconds.”

 

“I didn’t know Ben and Brian had a one night stand,” Michael argued.  “But, it doesn’t matter since Ben loves me _and_ he’s man enough to admit it.”  

 

“I hardly remember fucking him,” Brian said, turning away from the pair once again.  “It was years ago…was it before or _after_ he got HIV?  I’m a little foggy on the dates…”

 

“Figures,” Brook laughed.  “But, I don’t think I’d fuck you even if I was on my death bed.”

 

“He’s healthier than you, you, you…” Michael snapped.  “Brian!”

 

“What?!”  Brian snapped back, feeling a headache coming.  He put a finger to his temple and rubbed, hoping it would help him feel better.  He took a few deep breaths and lowered his voice.  “I’m sure you had a reason for coming, Michael.  What is it?”

 

“You know about Ethan’s concert?”

 

“Yeah, what about it?”

 

“I was wondering if you were going,” Michael said.  “Because Justin invited me to go…”

 

“Then go,” Brian replied, finally coming out of his bedroom.  “Just don’t expect to see me there.”

 

“I won’t go if you don’t want me to go,” Michael told him.  “Or maybe we can go together.  Or maybe-”

 

“Save it,” Brook interrupted.  “He wouldn’t go with Ty and that little fucker begged for hours…doing things you’ll never get a chance to.”

 

“Why does Ty want to go to Ethan’s concert?”

 

“I think he’s falling for Brian,” Brook replied.  “And I think he wanted to check Ethan out.”

 

“I think Ty doesn’t give a shit about anyone but Ty,” Brian remarked.  “And possibly his ex boyfriend who kicks his ass.”

 

“I think Ty’s a parasite,” Michael said, moving to face Brian.  “He’s nothing but a faded, bleached out imitation of _your_ Sunshine.”

 

****

 

Justin opened a door to find a group talking inside and closed it again.  He walked down the hallway and opened another door.  When he found it was empty he entered the room, closing the door after Ethan followed him in.  He took a couple of deep breaths and closed his eyes to help him think.  

 

“Justin, I thought you’d be happy about this,” Ethan said, confused by his boyfriend’s strange behavior.  “We’re on our way to Italy, Naples, Rome, Sicily…”

 

“Ethan, I have bills to pay,” Justin replied.  “I can’t just drop everything and run off to Europe…no matter how much I want to.”

 

“I’m being paid,” the violinist countered, his eyes pleading.  “I’ll pay your bills and since Capitol is paying for a place for me to stay, you can stay with me.”

 

“I don’t want you to support me like some housewife.”

 

“Then pay me back,” Ethan answered.  “You can get a job in Italy-”

 

“As what: a go-go dancer?  I don’t speak Italian.”

 

“You don’t need to speak Italian,” Ethan replied.  “Speaking English could actually _help_ you get a job.”

 

“What about school?” Justin asked.  “Am I supposed to just drop out and follow you around like some puppy dog?”

 

“You could transfer,” Ethan said.  “I checked it out and they’ll be enrolling for the Umbra Institute in a few weeks.  That’s a really good school with one of the best art programs out there.  With some recommendations from your professors, I’m sure they’ll accept you.”

 

“I just can’t leave my family, Ethan.”

 

“You just can’t leave Brian.”

 

“This has nothing to do with Brian.”

 

“I wanted to take you to Abruzzo,” Ethan explained as a tear made its way down his cheek.  “There’s this castle called L’Aquila that I hear is like a faerie tale.  I…I wanted to go there with you…”  His aspirations for a life with Justin dwindling, he cried because he had gotten so close.  But, then again, he thought, no matter how far away I take Justin, Brian will always be there.  “I guess that’s just not going to happen is it?”

 

Justin wiped his eyes, but he didn’t cry.  He felt the tears well in his eyes and the churn in his stomach, but the pain never overwhelmed him and he was able to numb his insides.  “You’re leaving me.”

 

“I can’t wait for you to get over Brian.”

 

“This isn’t about-”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Ethan sighed.  “We both know we never really had a chance.”

 

“This is unreal,” Justin replied, opening up the door with every intention to leave, only to change his mind.  He wanted to be mad, but the only person he could blame was himself.  It was one of those ‘make your bed, now lie in it’ situations and the irony of it wasn’t lost on him.  “I leave the love of my life for you and now you’re leaving me.”  

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“That’s OK,” Justin chuckled as a few tears made their way down his cheek.  He immediately wiped them away then giggled until he laughed and sighed again, “That’s OK.”  

 

Justin and Ethan hugged for a long moment, ending with a sigh and soft kiss.  Justin smiled.  As quickly as their romance began, it now ended and Justin hoped he’d learned something from it.

 

“Don’t just go running back to him,” Ethan said.  “You’ll find that guy who’ll love you and who’ll treat you like you deserve, not like Brian.”

 

“Don’t worry about me,” Justin assured him.  “Just take good care of yourself in Italy.”

 

“I will,” Ethan replied.  “And never stop your art.  I know one day I’ll be visiting a museum to see your work.”

 

Ethan leaned in for one last kiss, but Justin stopped him and backed away.  “I had a really great time, but if I don’t go I’ll be late to work.”

 

****

 

Ty sipped on his glass of wine and watched Justin walk away from Ethan.  His intention was to introduce himself to Ethan, but as soon as Justin left, the violinist joined a group, who toasted him when he arrived.  

 

The group talked and laughed as Ty looked on.  He finished off his champagne and decided to crash Ethan’s discussion when he saw Dani standing off to the right with a couple of women.  As appealing as meeting Ethan was, he also knew Dani was staying with Lindsay, the mother of Brian’s son, and he wanted to meet her more than he wanted to be a pain in Justin’s ass.   

 

Ty walked up to Dani and poked her in her side.  “Hey you, Ms. DA lady,” he said smiling.  

 

“Hey Ty,” Dani replied. “Funny to meet you here.”

 

“I’ll take a concert hall over a dingy alleyway any day,” Ty giggled.  He introduced himself to Lindsay, happy to finally meet the mother of Brian’s son.  “I’ve seen Gus’ picture and he’s got to be the cutest kid ever.”

 

“Gus is a dream,” Lindsay replied, taking Mel’s hand in her own.  “We’re really proud of him.”

 

“If you ever need a babysitter,” Ty offered, “you can just call me… _I am_ staying at Brian’s.”

 

“Thanks, but we have a babysitter,” Mel said, looking at Lindsay.  “We have several…”

 

“But, we can always use a good babysitter,” Lindsay replied, a little confused.  “Just in case.”

 

“We already have Deb and the guys,” Mel told her partner.  When Lindsay still seemed baffled, Mel made it clearer.  “…and Justin…”

 

“I just thought it might help since I’m staying with Brian,” Ty replied.  “I don’t mean to cause a problem.”

 

“You’re not causing a problem,” Lindsay reassured him.  She looked at Melanie and repeated herself.  “You _are not_ causing a problem.  And Mel and I appreciate the gesture, so if a need arises, we’ll give Brian a call.”

 

“Great.”

 

“Well, it was good to see you again, Ty, and I’ll see you ladies later on tonight,” Dani said, checking her watch.  “I have a dinner meeting in 20 minutes.”

 

“You think you could give me a ride home?”  Ty asked, giving the attorney his best smile.

 

“Sure,” Dani replied.  

 

As soon as Dani and Ty left, Lindsay began to look around for Justin.  Melanie, on the other hand, had Ty on her mind.  “That kid creeps me out.  He looks just too much like Justin not to be creepy.”

 

“Just another boy that fell in love with Brian,” Lindsay reasoned.  She looked around the room and saw Ethan laughing with a group of people, but didn’t see Justin.  “And he’ll fall right out when he finds out that Brian will never love him.”

 

“I can’t believe it doesn’t bother you that Brian is dating that guy,” Melanie said stunned.  “Ignore the fact that Ty looks like Justin, is working for the diner and mysteriously shows up at Ethan’s concert, but he just offered out of nowhere to baby sit for us.  Doesn’t that bother you?”

 

Lindsay looked around the room again, only to see Blake walking up to them.  As soon as he got up to them, she asked, “Have you seen Justin?”

 

“I was just going to ask you two that,” Blake replied. 

 

****

 

The second Brian walked into the diner he saw Justin waiting tables.  In his mind, he made the decision to leave, but his body was on cruise control when he strolled into the diner with Brook straggling behind him.  

 

When Brian sat down at a booth, Justin put two menus on his table and asked what he could get them to drink.

 

“I’d like to have a vanilla milkshake, cutie,” Brook replied, winking at Justin.  “And a side order of you, if that’s possible.”

 

“It’s not,” Justin retorted with a sly smile.  He turned his attention to his former boyfriend and guessed what he wanted to drink.  “So, bottled water for you, Brian?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“So, does our waiter have a name,” Brook said, carefully watching Brian sit uncomfortably in his seat.  He looked up at Justin.  “Or should I just make one up?”  He paused and flashed a dimpled smile.  “How about Beautiful…it fits you to a tee.”

 

“Brook this is Justin,” Brian finally said, his voice stern.  “Justin this is Brook.”

 

“Justin!  It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Brook replied, shaking Justin’s hand, but not letting it go.  “Brian’s told me tons about you.”

 

“He has?”  Justin chuckled.  He looked at Brian in disbelief, only to see a strange look on his former lover’s face.  Justin smiled softly then turned his attention back to Brook, who was still holding his hand.  “Brian’s told me all about you; well, you, he, Linds and your wife, Dani.  I think my favorite stories have to be about the fight between you and Michael and the whole incident about your bracelets.”

 

“Can I just repeat, I was the good guy and Brian was the asshole,” Brook said, interlocking his fingers in Justin’s.  “Every time he tells a story, he comes out smelling sweet and I come out smelling like a turd.”

 

“You were a turd,” Brian told his friend.  “I was just a bigger turd than you were that day.”

 

“Brian told me all the flattering and unflattering tid bits,” Justin explained.  “So, don’t try and pretend you weren’t involved.”

 

“No, I was,” Brook replied.  “It’s just that Brian tends to lie about things like that.”

 

“Brian’s never lied to me,” Justin replied flatly, taking his hand from Brook.  He saw Ty walk into the diner and sighed at his misfortune.  “Vanilla milkshake and one bottle of water, I’ll get that for you, right now.”

 

“Justin, can you grab a Sprite for me while you’re doing that?”  Ty asked as he sat down next to Brian.  Ignoring Justin’s glare, he tried to wrap an arm around Brian only to have his lover pull away.  Sighing loudly, he moved out of Brian’s personal bubble and addressed Brook.  “So, are you going to Babylon tonight?”

 

“Maybe,” Brook replied as Justin placed their drinks on the table.  “Depends on when cutie gets off work…when is that, Justin?”

 

“Too late,” Justin answered, taking out his notepad.  “What can I get for you guys?”

 

“A side of you later on tonight,” Brook told him.  

 

“Save it, Brook,” Brian said.  “Justin has a boyfriend.”

 

“And what would Emmett think?”  Justin added, waving his pencil.  “Your order?”

 

“I haven’t finished deciding,” Brian replied.  He couldn’t help but give Justin a sympathetic look and was glad to see that his former lover didn’t seem fazed by Brook’s insistent pursuit.  But most of all, Brian wished that he had chosen to eat somewhere else.  “I think I want Chinese food instead.”

 

“Have fun,” Brook told him, glancing at Justin who took the opportunity to step away from the table.  “I’m staying here with the honey.”

 

“Give it a rest, Brook,” Brian sighed.  “I said he has a boyfriend.”

 

“Yeah and if he left you for that boyfriend, I suppose I don’t have a chance, huh?”  Brook replied as Justin came back to their table to take their orders.  “So, do you think I have a chance with a cutie like you, Justin?”

 

“I think you have a great chance,” Ty said, watching Brian glare at Brook.  “Since Ethan gave Justin the big heave ho earlier.”

 

“How the fuck did you know about that?!”

 

“It was all the talk of the concert,” Ty told him, putting on his most sympathetic look. “But, you shouldn’t worry about what people say, they’re all ignorant jackasses.  And if you ever want to talk, you can just call me: anytime, day or night…you know the number.”

 

“Thanks,” Justin replied.  Humiliated, he stood there holding his notepad, wondering where this conversation went wrong.  He looked at the paper and tried to pretend Brian wasn’t sitting there staring at him.  “Your orders?”

 

“Nothing for me, if I don’t leave now, I’m going to be late to my hair appointment,” Ty answered.  “My stylist, Fernando, is really busy and he gets real bitchy if I’m late.”

 

“Alright,” Justin sighed.  “How about you guys?”

 

“I’m not hungry anymore,” Brian announced.  He glared at Brook and added, “Eat where you want, I’m going to Babylon.  I’ll see you if I see you.”

 

“Can you drop me off at Fernando’s?”  Ty asked. When Brian reluctantly agreed, Ty jumped up excitedly and smiled mischievously at Justin.  “You know Justin; you should really go and see Fernando.  He could do wonders with your hair…”

 

“His hair looks just fine the way it does,” Brook replied standing up.    “It was a pleasure to meet you, Justin, and I definitely hope to see you again.”  He grabbed Ty by the arm and pulled him from Brian’s side.

  

“Here,” Brian said, handing Justin some money.  He looked at his former lover and wanted to say more, only nothing came out.  He watched Brook drag Ty out of the diner, then waited as Justin walked around the counter to the register.  He turned and started to walk out when he heard Justin call out his name.

 

“Your change,” Justin called out, still ringing up Brian’s bill.

 

“Keep the rest for a tip,” Brian replied.  He walked to the front door and stopped at the doorway, taking one last look at Justin, who stood at the register staring at him.  Brian looked outside at Ty quickly, then back to Justin. Brian smiled and simply said, “Bleaching’s a bitch,” before leaving the diner.

 

Justin watched at Brian drove off with Brook and Ty and couldn’t help the warm feeling that filled him.  He also couldn’t help the silly look on his face as he rang up Brian’s order and unfolded the money his former flame handed him.  The twenty dollar bill didn’t surprise him, but the one hundred dollar bill below it did.  Justin smiled, because the more he thought about it, the less it surprised him.

 

Not able to hide his grin, he repeated, "Bleach."


	8. Trust

Justin watched as maintenance workers pulled the yellow caution tape off of his building.  It was so early in the morning the street lights were still on, but he and the other tenants of the building stood outside waiting to go home for the first time in weeks.  When the workers allowed people to enter, Justin waited outside until the rest of his belongings arrived.  Deb drove up and Michael got out of the car, bringing several of Justin’s bags with him.  

 

“I could’ve picked ya up at work, Sunshine,” Deb said as Michael took out a large sketch pad from the backseat, handing it to Justin.

 

“I wanted to walk,” Justin replied as Michael said goodbye to his mother.  

 

Justin waved as Deb drove off to work, and then wiped his eyes before picking up a bag and heading towards his apartment.  Justin was glad to be home, and then he opened up his door, turned on the light and saw his dust filled, hand-me-down apartment.    He dropped his bags on the floor and began looking around to see where he needed to start cleaning. 

 

“Now I know why Ethan just left you this place,” Michael said, closing the door and putting down Justin’s bags.  He looked around for a place to sit and, seeing nothing clean, went into the kitchen area.  “This is a bigger shit hole than my place.”

 

“I know, but it’s cheap,” Justin replied, opening up the shades and windows.  After all of the windows were opened, he stopped and looked towards Michael in the kitchen and noticed a bowl sitting on the ground.  “I wonder where that stupid cat is…”

 

“You have a cat?”  

 

“It’s Ethan’s,” Justin answered.  He hesitantly looked around the floor just in case the cat didn’t get out of the building when it was fumigated.  He jumped back once when he saw a still lump under a jacket, but laughed it off when it was only clothes that had been bundled up.  “And now it’s mine…lucky me.”  Justin sighed then smiled.  “Well, at least I don’t have to sleep alone at night.”

 

“If you get to sleep,” Michael said, leaning up against the kitchen counter.  “I was up all night with Ben…”

 

“His temperature come down?”

 

“Yeah, but he dropped a total of 8 pounds,” Michael replied, “It seems the faster he eats it, the faster it comes out.  It’s like the second he swallows: he’s in the bathroom groaning.”

 

“Even the soup I made didn’t help?”

 

“No,” Michael answered.  “But it was delicious.”

 

“I’m glad you liked it,” Justin chuckled.  

 

“Well you _are_ a good cook,” Michael said, pretending to clean.  He glanced over at Justin, trying to gauge the other man’s reaction.  “Wonder why Brian ever let you go?”

 

“Give me a break,” Justin sighed annoyed, when someone knocked at his front door.   Feeling like he was saved by bell, he opened the door to see Blake standing before him.  “Hey, welcome to your new home.”

 

“Thanks,” Blake replied, grabbing his bags and taking them inside.  “Now I know where to find you.”

 

“How many times do I have to say sorry?”  Justin asked, helping Blake bring the few items he possessed inside.  

 

“Just one more time,” Blake answered, looking around the dusty room.  “Since you’re letting me stay here.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Justin announced.  “And I’m glad you’ll be staying here.  I’ll need help with the rent since Ethan bailed.”

 

“Well, even _this_ place is better than the one I was staying at,” Blake said, sitting down on the bed.  He reached in his jacket pocket, grabbed a wad of bills and handed it to Justin.  “It isn’t all of it, but its part of my half of the rent.  I’m still looking for a job, only it’s not as easy as just stealing a car CD player.” 

 

“Maybe you should start fucking Brian,” Michael chuckled.  “Maybe then you could get a job at the diner.”

 

“That’s a pleasant way to get a job,” Blake replied with a smile.

 

“Talking about Brian…” Michael said, turning to Justin.  “Now that you’re single again, are you going to give it another try?”

 

“I’m not running back to him like some little kid,” Justin snapped.  “Look, Michael, I’m sorry and I’m really glad you hate Ty more than you hate me, but as much as I would love to be with Brian…he won’t ever change.”

 

“Maybe you need to find some other guy,” Blake said, opening up one of his bags.  “Some hot sexy hunk with a twelve inch cock.”

 

“I’ve had more cock than a boy my age should have,” Justin replied.  “What I want is a relationship…a _real_ relationship with romance, honesty, monogamy… _and love_.”

 

“You can get into a relationship with a guy that has a twelve inch cock,” Blake giggled, looking through his bag.  

 

“I can’t get into a relationship until I get over Brian,” Justin sighed, sitting next to Blake.  He thought about what Ethan told him and knew his former lover was right.  Brian had about as much to do with their relationship as either the artist or violinist had and Justin was the one who gave him that power.  Justin smiled at the realization that he already knew the problem: Brian would always be there.  If not physically, he’d always be in the back of Justin’s mind.  “So, how am I supposed to do that?”

 

“You could have him humiliate you in front of everyone you know,” Michael said, sitting next to Justin.  “Or you can have him do it with a few hundred you don’t…”

 

“You can join a 12-step program,” Blake giggled.  “It worked for me.”

 

“Is there a 12-step program that can get rid of Ty?”  Michael sarcastically asked.  “Cause he’s a habit I’d like Brian to get rid of.”

 

****  

 

Ty woke up in bed alone.  He immediately looked up and saw that Brian was at his computer, apparently working.  He got up, wrapped his sheet around his waist, walked behind Brian and wrapped his arms around his lover’s neck.  “You’re up early,” Ty said, snuggling close to Brian.  

 

“I have to finish this today and I have to do it before I pick up Gus,” Brian replied, removing Ty’s arms from around his shoulder.  “So, if you don’t mind, I’m busy.”

 

Taking the hint, Ty looked around the area to see if anything else caught his interest when he saw a plastic bag from a local store.  He opened it and squealed when he saw what was on the inside.  “You bought The Others on DVD?  I really wanted to see this movie.  I heard it was good.  When are we gonna watch it?”

 

“I’ll watch it when I get a chance,” Brian replied, checking information on the computer to a file he held in his hand.  Without looking up, he turned away from Ty and began writing in the file, occasionally glancing at the computer.  

 

Ty smiled politely, though he was fully aware that Brian hadn’t mentioned him being invited to watch the movie.  Inside, he was a ball of nerves, wondering what it took to please a man who seemed so easily pleased, but really never was.  He reminded himself that he didn’t care…but decided, as a ‘close friend’, he felt that it wasn’t out of line to ask, “Can we watch it tonight after Gus goes to sleep?”

 

“We could if you were going to be here,” Brian replied, not bothering to look up from his work.  “But, since you’re going to crash somewhere else tonight, we won’t be able to watch it together.  I’ll probably be watching SpongeBob fucking SquarePants all night.”

 

“I have to leave?”  Ty asked, stunned.  “Why?”

 

“I don’t have to explain to you why,” Brian sighed, looking at his watch.  When he saw the time he got up and put on a shirt.  

 

“I couldn’t wait to meet him,” Ty explained.  “I hear he’s so cute.”

 

“I hope it wasn’t a life goal, because you’re not going to be bonding with Gus anytime soon.”

 

“Why? I told you I’d love to baby sit him,” Ty gasped.  

 

“Forget it,” Brian snapped, locating his keys and sunglasses.  “I don’t like tricks near my kid.”

 

“But, Brian,” Ty complained.  Then, like a cartoon anvil falling from the sky, reality hit him.  “Justin baby sits Gus all the time!”   

  

“You’re not Justin!”  Brian yelled back, putting on his sunglasses and snatching his keys off of the kitchen counter.  The second the words came out of his mouth, he stared at Ty thought tinted glasses.  After taking a moment to calm down, Brian lowered his voice and spoke slowly so the younger man understood him clearly.  “I’ll be back with my son by 5…be gone.”

 

Ty watched as Brian shoved his file in a briefcase.  The advertiser then grabbed his jacket and paused when Ty asked, “When can I come back?”  Brian looked at Ty, emotions hidden behind dark sunglasses, and then left without another word.

 

**** 

 

“Is this yours?”  Blake asked, handing Justin some drawings.

 

“Michael was supposed to take this with him,” Justin replied.  “I’ll take it to him later on today.” He put the papers on the desk and went into the kitchen.

 

“Ethan leaving is pretty great timing,” Blake said.  When he actually heard how it sounded said he, he immediately felt bad.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

 

“I know what you mean,” Justin told his new roommate, opening up the refrigerator door.  He grabbed his garbage can and started to throw everything inside the refrigerator away.  “We’re going to have to go shopping.”

 

“I’ll do that,” Blake offered, “as soon as I shower and change into something clean.  I’ve been in these clothes all night.”

 

“Shower’s over there,” Justin said, holding the garbage as far from him as possible.  As quick as he could, he took the garbage downstairs to the dumpster and came back upstairs thinking a shower wasn’t such a bad idea.  Hearing the shower running, Justin looked around the apartment to see where he should start next when he was saved by a knock at the door.  When he opened the door he was happy to see his mother…he was even happier when he saw she had two bags of groceries.

 

“I thought you might need these,” she said, putting the groceries on the floor.  She hugged her son, squeezed him tightly then stepped back to take a good look at him.  “You look no worse for the wear.”

 

“I’m fine, Mom,” Justin sighed, turning his attention to the groceries.  “I told you the thing with Ethan wasn’t as bad as with Brian.”

 

“Of course not,” Jennifer said, helping her son put things away.  “You never really loved Ethan like you did Brian.”

 

“Mom, that’s not what I meant!”

 

“Why not, it’s true,” Jennifer told him, opening up the refrigerator.  After smelling it, she grabbed a cleaner out of one of the grocery bags and started scrubbing.  She wiped away an old ketchup stain, and then looked up when she felt her son staring at her.  “What?  If I’m wrong, you tell me…”

 

“I cared a lot about Ethan,” Justin explained, only he knew exactly what his mother meant.  “And in a strange way I did love him, but…”

 

“But what?”

 

Justin laughed because he knew exactly what he was going to say and it made him feel like an idiot.  “I was never _in love_ with him…like I was with Brian.”  Here he was only a week away from his break up with Ethan and he was still heartbroken over Brian. If ever there was a moment he was happy his mother was with him it was now, because he wasn’t sure how long he could be strong all by himself.  “I wish I could go back to him…but I can’t be with him when he won’t commit to me and only me.  I still think about him all the time and sometimes I just wish my heart would just let him go.  But it’s like he’s always there and he’ll always be.”

 

“Brian’s just a control freak.”

 

“It’s not his fault,” Justin disagreed.  “I gave him control of me and when I felt trapped, I lashed out at him.”

 

“Listen to you,” Jennifer chuckled.  She took her son’s hand in her own and smiled.  “I remember when Brian first came into your life.  You had it in your mind that you were going to date him and be his boyfriend, even though he told you it was nothing more than a…fuck.”

 

“That’s all I was,” Justin replied, a tear falling down his cheek.

 

“I don’t believe that for one second,” she told Justin, taking her son into her arms.  She rocked back and forth and calmed him with her words.  “I remember being so infuriated with Brian for not going to see you at the hospital, but do you know what I found out?”  She paused.  “He came to see you everyday and just watched you.  Honey, Brian’s just one of those people who can’t do things the easy way.”

 

“How do I make him love me like I love him?” Justin cried, holding onto this mother.

 

“You can’t,” Jennifer replied.  “But there is something you can do…”

 

Pulling away from his mother, Justin looked at Jennifer and asked, “What?”

 

“If you can’t fix the problems between you and Brian,” she said.  “You can at least try and find out why the relationship failed.  No point starting a new one, if you’re doomed to repeat yourself.” 

 

“How am I supposed to do that?”

 

“You can start by talking to Brian,” Jennifer replied.

 

“Communication was issue number two,” Justin told her, almost defeated.

 

“Well you’re the one who told me that Brian was being nice to you.”

 

“I said he was ‘polite and civil’,” Justin corrected. He smiled and added, “And really sexy, especially when he’s being nice.”

 

“Justin, it can’t hurt to try,” Jennifer said.  “I’m definitely not asking you to go back to him; just talk to him…it can’t hurt.”

 

“I’m not so sure about that.”

 

****

 

“Deb, can you take a break?”  Brian asked the second the waitress had a free moment.

 

Deb was about to tell Brian she was a little busy, when the look on his face told her that one of her boys needed her.  She told another waitress that she was taking five and took Brian in the back to talk.  

 

“Somethin’ up?”  
  


“Just…,” Brian began, looking down at the ground.  “Worried about Mikey.  Haven’t seen him in a while.”

 

“Then maybe you should stop by the comic shop,” Deb replied sarcastically. She put her hand on her hip and glared at Brian, waiting for him to say what was really on his mind. 

 

“Had a question…” Brian said, his troubled eyes finally meeting hers.  The second she saw the look on Brian’s face, Deb harsh stance melted away.  “How can I…”

 

“How can you what?”  
  


“How can…” Brian began, then stopped, only to start again, then stop again.  He kicked a can on the ground then yelled nonsensically.  When he finally got something out, it was followed by kicking the dumpster in the back of the diner.  “Fuck!”

 

“You always find the hardest way,” Deb said, wrapping her arms around him.  “Why don’t you just talk to him?”  When Brian said nothing, she tried a different approach.  “I know you miss him and you know what?  I miss you two together and I know I’m not the only one.  But, most importantly, Justin misses you…he said it’s been a really long time since you two have even touched…”

 

“Stop it,” Brian snapped, turning away from Deb.  He closed his eyes and pushed back his emotions, although his pain was clear to see.  

 

“You fuckin’ queens are always making shit more dramatic than it hasta be,” Deb told him, moving so that she stood in front of him again.  “You love Justin and he loves you…so what the fuck is stopping you?!”

 

Well, if it wasn’t clear to the older woman, it was clear to Brian.  “Trust.”

 

****    

  

“You forget this?” Justin asked, strolling into the comic store.  He handed the art he drew to Michael then turned his attention to Ted, who sat near the counter.  “How’ve you been?”

 

“I’m fine,” Ted replied, smiling.  “In fact, after I leave here, I’m filming an orgy of mass proportions.  I’m up to my elbows in hard cocks and sweaty asses.”

 

“Ted, it’s us,” Justin said, rolling his eyes.  “…we know about your porn immunity.  In fact, we were thinking about starting a telethon.  We could get that old guy with the real bad dye job or the fat chick…Sally Struthers.”

 

“Justin…” Michael sighed.  With all of Ted’s current issues, he wondered why Justin would bring up the fact that Ted couldn’t watch porn anymore.  Not that it was a major crisis, but with Ted’s run of bad luck, Michael didn’t want to add to his misery.  It’s so sad, Michael thought, Ted’s never been surrounded by so much ass before in his life and he can’t even get off on it.  Only making matters worse was the fact that Emmett broke up with him and his ex boyfriend, the meth head, had come back to town, after having broken up with him.  Michael glared at Justin, wondering how he could be so insensitive to Ted’s feelings.

 

“Justin’s right,” Ted said.  “Although I prefer Jerry Lewis.  Sally Struthers always looks like she’s going to explode.”

 

“Whatsa matter Michael?”  Justin asked, leaning against the counter.  “You look stressed out.”

 

“Well…it’s just that when you came in here,” Michael said, fidgeting with a comic book, “we were talking about Blake…”

 

“I told you I’m fine with it,” Ted reminded Michael for what seemed to him like the millionth time. “Justin asked me if it was OK and I said yes because even though Blake and I aren’t together, I still care about what happens to him.  So, if staying with Justin helps him stay clean, I’m all for it.”

 

“Well, at least you know he’ll be close by,” Justin said, winking to the former accountant.  “I know for a fact, he’s single.”

 

“That would be as disastrous as Em and I getting back together,” Ted sighed.  “Well, at least Blake’s not dating a sex god; I’d had to just have someone to put me out of my misery.”

 

“Twenty bucks Em and Brook don’t last longer than a month,” Michael said, taking a $20 bill from the register.

 

“A month?”  Justin giggled.  “I’m surprised they lasted a week.”

 

“I’d like to have a week with Brook,” Ted groaned.  He got a mental picture of Brook naked, walking towards him with sweat dripping down his well toned body.  “I’d like to have an _hour_ with Brook.”

 

“He’s good looking, but…” Justin said, trying to find the words to describe how it felt to be near Brook.  He closed his eyes for a short moment and pretended that Brian’s old friend was standing by his side, holding his hand, telling him how beautiful he was.  “He’s slimy,” Justin finally decided.  “After talking to him, I wanted to take a shower to clean the grime off.”

 

“Thank you!”  Michael gasped.  “Finally someone besides me sees that sausage for what he is!”

 

Justin thought about it for a moment and was happy to agree.  He glanced at Michael and wondered how they could ever agree on anything let alone exist as friends without Brian.  Even as the three men stood in the comic book shop, Brian was there as a cardboard cut out of Rage, protecting them even now.

 

As soon as his thoughts crept to Brian, Justin’s smile faded and he looked around, trying to gain focus.  He ignored the ring of the front door, picked up his backpack and said, “I should be going since I gave up my day with Gus for this stupid seminar.”

 

“I go you come,” Jimmy said, walking into the shop with a friend close behind him.  “I come you go…we have to find a place in between.”

 

“Hi,” Justin replied, momentarily taken aback.  “You’re Brian, right?”

 

“Call me Jimmy,” he corrected.  He pointed to his friend who simply leaned on the wall next to the front door.  “That’s Nicky.  Nicky, this is…”

 

“Justin.”

 

“Justin,” Jimmy repeated, “and the cutie behind the counter is Michael. He owns this joint.  He’s the one with the lowdown on Rage.”

 

“First, you have to tell me how much you liked it,” Michael told him, smirking at Justin.  “Then I’ll tell you everything you need to know about Rage.”

 

“Liked it?” Jimmy asked, feigning disgust.  He chuckled then smiled, “I loved it.  In fact, I told Nicky all about it, but I told him he had to go buy his own…which is why we’re here.”

 

“One copy of Rage,” Michael said, putting the comic in a bag.  

 

Nicky handed Michael the money and immediately started flipping through the pages of the comic.  “It’s really good artwork,” he mentioned, putting he book back in the bag.

 

“Thanks,” Justin replied with a smile. “Michael did the story, though.”

 

“You did this?”  Jimmy asked, surprised.  “Why didn’t you say something before?”  
  


“I dunno,” Michael gushed.

 

“You’ve got skills,” Nicky said, taking out the comic again and looking at the pictures more carefully. “Serious skills.”

 

“Thanks,” Justin repeated, pressing his lips together to prevent himself from giggling.  

 

“I have to ask you some questions,” Jimmy said, glancing from Michael to Justin.  “How did you guys come up with the idea and how did the whole concept of Rage come to fruition?”

 

“I’d love to answer all of your questions,” Justin told him, “but if I don’t leave now I’m going to be late for my seminar.”

 

“Well, maybe we can all get together for dinner later on,” Jimmy suggested, smiling at Michael.  

 

“I’m not sure,” Michael replied, almost embarrassed.  He remembered a time when he couldn’t get a date to save his life and not only did he have a hot boyfriend, he had a man God must have personally chiseled, asking him out.  “I’d have to ask my boyfriend.”

 

“They’re always taken,” Jimmy sighed.

 

“You taken?”  Nicky asked Justin, winking his eye.

 

“No, but I’m late,” the blond answered.

 

“We can talk about restaurants in my jeep,” Nicky replied, showing a cocky, yet charming smile.  “I was thinking Japanese or maybe French…”

 

Justin thought about it, but he didn’t have enough time to make the guy sweat it out.  “You’ve got a deal,” Justin said, waving goodbye to Michael and Ted.   

 

After a quick farewell, Jimmy followed Nicky to take Justin to his seminar.

 

“That was good while it lasted,” Michael sighed, with a euphoric smile.  “Did you see how sexy he was?  And he asked me out…”

 

“He didn’t even notice I was here,” Ted pointed out, obviously adversely affected by the snub.  “Even that jackass Nicky didn’t even seem to see me.”

 

“I’m sure Jimmy noticed you,” Michael said.  “He didn’t even talk to Justin last time and felt the need to bring some grease monkey for him.  Next time Jimmy comes, he’ll probably bring you the trick of the day...if he comes at all.”

 

“I hope he stays away,” Ted replied with a frown, “and keeps Nicky with him.  Justin’s too good for a guy like that.”

 

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, waving hi to a customer that walked in the door.  “But, I’m not as worried about Nicky as I am about Ty.  I hate that little condescending fucker and I pray that Brian and Justin get back together just so I watch him cry when Brian tells him to fuck off.”

 

“Brian,” Ted snarled surprising Michael.  “Justin’s too good for that asshole too.”  Ted wiped his face with his hands and cleared his thoughts, ignoring Michael’s concerned looks.  “Well, I’m off to jerkatwork.com where I don’t actually get to jerk at work,” Ted said with a smile, rushing for the front door. 

 

Michael opened his mouth to say something when the ring of the doorbell opening then closing stopped him.  He thought Ted said he would call him later, but Michael wasn’t entirely sure.  All that he did know was that 1. Ted was in a low place no matter how much he pretended to be fine and 2. Brian better get off his ass, because even though Michael would never admit it out loud, Nicky was hot and Justin wasn’t running back to Brian like everyone thought he would...or hoped he would.

 


	9. Family

Gus was right in the middle of his terrible two’s and it showed on Lindsay’s tired face.  The infant was the pickiest child she had ever seen and she guessed it had a lot to do with his father.  

 

Gus was definitely his father’s boy and as he got older, he wanted to spend more and more time with Brian, which Lindsay couldn’t be happier about.  The only problem was Brian.  It wasn’t that Brian didn’t want to spend time with his son; in fact, he surprised both Melanie and Lindsay by taking care of Gus a few days out of the week on several occasions.  The real problem lay with the loft and the fact that Gus didn’t have his own room.

 

Lindsay wasn’t about to tell Brian what to do with his life, and she was sure if she did he’d do the opposite just to prove a point.   But, she honestly felt that Gus should have his own room at Brian’s place so he could have some sort of stability in his family.  Brian just told her that he wasn’t really that stable right now anyway, and hanging the phone on her to go play with one of his toys.

 

“At least he’s being honest,” Melanie said, trying to put Gus’s shoes on, only to have the young boy resist.  She struggled until she finally succeeded and let him go to play.  He ran right over to his toys and began pulling off his shoes.  “Gus!”

 

“Let him,” Lindsay sighed, plopping down on the sofa.  She rested her head on the pillow and watched her son toss his shoes across the floor.  She turned her attention to her partner and saw the woman’s flustered expression.  “What?”

 

Melanie rolled her eyes then softly climbed on top of her lover and admitted defeat.  “I thought we were supposed to be the boss,” she said, snuggling her head into Lindsay’s bosom.    

 

“I wish,” Linds replied.  Her eyes drifted to Gus as he played and she sighed.  “I wish Brian would see that getting a place with a room for Gus can only make their relationship stronger.”

 

“Honey, you ever think Brian’s doing us a favor?”  Mel asked.  “Do you really want Gus at his place when he has a new trick in there every hour on the hour?  It’s bad enough Ty’s there-”

 

“He wasn’t _that_ bad,” Linds disagreed with a chuckle.  “In fact, I thought he was kinda sweet.”

 

“He’s creepier than Jack Nicholson in The Shinning,” Mel replied, shivering.  “I just look at him and…I see…”

 

When Melanie thought about what she was going to say, Lindsay turned around and looked at her lover.  “What?”

 

“I just want to tell you that _I am_ your partner and not some alien who snatched her very sexy body,” Mel said, shaking her head as is she didn’t believe what she was about to say herself.  “But, I look at Ty and I have this instinct, like when I know someone’s lying to me on the stand, and it tells me that Brian’s feelings were deeper for Justin than he ever let on.”

 

“Of course he loved Justin,” Lindsay agreed, only looking like she didn’t.  “But, he wasn’t in love with Justin like _we_ love each other. We both know that Brian isn’t capable of committing himself to a life long relationship like we have, no matter how much Justin loved him.  He’ll never change and we just have to accept that.  And as much as I love Brian, he can’t love anyone more than he loves himself.  When I see how their relationship was; its obvious Brian loved Justin like…Michael or Ted or Emmett.”

 

“You’re not going to tell me Brian’s relationship with Justin is like his relationship with Ted,” Melanie gasped, sitting up.  “Brian and Justin were a couple-no matter how much that asshole denied it, like the snake that he is.”

 

“Snakes, must be talking about Brian,” Dani said, walking into the room.  

 

“I can’t believe you two,” Lindsay sneered, going to pick up Gus, only to have Dani beat her.  She looked at her son then back to her lover and sighed.  “I don’t think we should talk about Brian like that in front of Gus, OK you two?”

 

“You’re daddy’s a peach huh, Gussie?” Dani asked the child, as he waved a small toy truck and smiled at her.  

 

“ _Dani_ ,” Linds warned.

 

“Alright,” Dani conceded, disappointed that she missed out on a chance to Brian bash with an audience. She turned her attention to the child in her arms and asked, “Hey, Gussie, would you like to see Auntie Dani’s new house?”

 

“Your place is done already?” Lindsay asked, surprised.

 

“Sure is,” Dani replied, “So the buffoon and I will be vacating as soon as he gets his butt here, which should be any minute now.”  

 

“He can take his time,” Mel told the fellow attorney.  She smiled because she really meant it.  

 

“Knowing my infamous husband, he will,” Dani conceded.  She grabbed a photo album and started flipping through it, only to have Gus take over and play with the pages of the book.  “He told me he’s got his eye on Justin, so he’s probably out prowling the diner.”

 

“Brian better watch out,” Melanie chuckled.  She looked at Lindsay, then back at Dani wondering, “Hey, I thought he and Em…”

 

“You _know_ Brook,” Dani said, looking at Lindsay.  “Love ‘em and leave ‘em….kinda like Brian.”

 

“Brian doesn’t love ‘em,” Lindsay disagreed.

 

“Is that so,” Dani wondered, casually looking at the pictures in the photo album, while Gus pointed and squealed every time he saw a face he recognized.  

 

“Yes,” Lindsay answered, as if the idea of anything otherwise was preposterous.    

 

Dani and Lindsay waited for Melanie to respond, but she hadn’t really decided it yet.  If someone had asked her that question a year ago, even three months ago, she would have replied yes faster than Lindsay, but things just didn’t add up the way they used to anymore.  What she needed was more time to think about it.  Brian may be an admitted asshole, but was he incapable of being ‘in love’ and maintaining a relationship with anyone at all?

 

Melanie wondered what really went through Brian’s head and if he would ever open himself to anyone at all.  All she knew was that the more she thought about it, the more she was starting to see Brian’s side to things, even if she didn’t agree with him.  She understood why Brian didn’t want to sell his loft.  She even understood why he could lose himself in sex.  The only thing she couldn’t understand was why Brian let Justin go.  It was clear to her that Ty was just a substitute for Justin and she was baffled as to why Brian had let it go this far.  

 

At one point Mel had even decided that Brian should reap what he sowed, but every time she saw Ty or his name was even brought up, she was reminded of a younger Justin and it always gave her chills.  Of course Brian’s lack of acknowledgement of the situation only infuriated her more and made it harder to stay on his side.  Not many people could tolerate the bullshit Brian dished out and Melanie wondered why anyone really should have to.

 

**** 

 

“So, where’s Carl taking you?”  Justin asked Deb.  He was watching the clock waiting for his shift to finally be over. 

 

“I’m not sure,” Deb replied, giddy just thinking about Carl.  “But it doesn’t matter with him.”

 

“I’m jealous.”

 

“Scram,” Deb told him.  “Go and have a hot fling with some stud already.”

 

“I’m _sooo_ ready to get outta here,” Justin admitted, taking off his apron.  “I have no classes, no study groups, no homework, nothing to draw for Rage and nothing to do for the rest of the day.”   Justin’s smile was refreshing and it made Deb smile too.  “And I couldn’t be happier.” 

 

“You’ve been in a good mood all week,” Deb said, leaning against the counter.  “Does it have to do anything with that Nicky guy?”

 

“I guess,” Justin answered, shrugging his shoulders.  “I had tons of fun both times we went out.  Did I tell you he’s a model?  He hasn’t done much here in the states, but in Europe, he’s sort of a celebrity or something.  Apparently, now that he’s here in the good of USofA, he’s switching from modeling to acting and he and his friend Jimmy are doing a pilot for some TV show.”

 

“You’re dating a famous actor?”

 

“No, the show’s going to be on UPN,” Justin chuckled.  “Even Nicky thinks it sucks, but he says it’s a good place to start.”

 

“So,” Deb asked, smiling. “Running off to Vermont are we?”

 

“Not even remotely close,” Justin replied.  “We haven’t even gotten past the uncomfortable stage, let alone to the trust stage yet.”

 

“It’s funny you should say that,” Deb chuckled, to the young man’s surprise.  He asked her what was so funny and was even more surprised by her answer.  “Just had a conversation with Brian about the same thing…”

 

“Nicky?!”

 

“No, no, sweetie,” Deb told him, calming him down.  “About trust…”

 

“Oh,” Justin replied, moving aside so that another waiter could pass.  He moved around the counter and sat down on a stool.  “I know I really screwed up, the way I broke up with him, but I was so mad…”  He looked up at Deb, eyes pleading for her to understand.  “You know how devoted I was to him.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Justin said, his feelings weighing down on his heart.  “I didn’t want to share him with a bunch of tricks anymore.”

 

“No one can blame you for that, Sunshine.”

 

Justin felt a tear fall down his cheek and he immediately wiped it away.  “It’s just so frustrating, loving someone who never loves you back.”

 

“Oh, he loves you,” Deb told him, smiling.  She squeezed his cheek and giggled, which made Justin giggle too.  “But, sometimes it’s hard to have a lasting relationship when you’re not friends first; even then it’s not easy.”

 

“So, how do I fix this?”

 

“Sometimes you’re so close to a situation you have to just take a step back to take a step forward,” she replied.  

 

“Well, Brian and I are back to the beginning or as close as we’re ever gonna to get,” Justin told her.

 

Deb laughed and then patted him on the back.  “So, now at least you know where to start.”

 

****

 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to talk about Brian anymore,” Mel said as Lindsay continued to make her point.  

 

“I don’t, it’s just that with Gus getting older, we all have to start watching how we talk about his father,” she continued, although both Mel and Dani had conceded the point long ago.  

 

“I’m sorry,” Dani repeated, knowing full well her comments didn’t help matters.  She turned her attention to the young boy who sat in her lap and told him, “I guess your daddy can come to my house warming party…but only if he’s a good boy…”

 

Mel and Dani exchanged looks and couldn’t help but laugh since they knew what they were both thinking: Brian’s never a good boy.  Lindsay watched the two and shook her head as they laughed.  

 

“This is the sort of thing I’m talking about,” Lindsay sighed, standing up.  She was really disappointed in Mel, but she hoped she’d get through when they were alone.  After asking if anyone else wanted a soda, she went to the kitchen for a drink and a moment away from their cackling.  

 

“Uh-oh,” Dani said, jovially, as Gus pointed to a picture.  She watched as Melanie quietly went to the kitchen then looked at the picture Gus was pointing to.  “Who’s that?”

 

“Mommy,” he said about the picture of Lindsay. 

 

“And who’s this?”  Dani asked, pointing to the picture on the opposite side of Melanie.

 

“Mommy.”

 

Dani turned the page and pointed to a picture with several people on it.  She slowly pointed to each person pausing so that Gus could say the name of each person.

 

“Em, De-bbie, Mika, Dadda, Momma, B-”

 

 “What?” Dani interrupted, looking closely at the picture, then at the boy.  “What did you say?”  When it was obvious Gus didn’t understand what she meant, she flipped through the pages of the photo album until she got to a picture of Brian holding Justin with his tongue flicking in the younger man’s ear.  She pointed to Brian. “Who’s that, Gus?”

 

“Dadda.”

 

“That’s right, that’s Dadda.”  She then pointed to Justin and asked, “Who’s that?”

 

“Momma.”

 

“See, that’s what I thought you said,” Dani replied.  She called out to Mel and Lindsay, who came out of the kitchen, holding hands and in a better mood.  Seeing they were in a better mood, she wondered if maybe she should just leave it alone, but more curious impulses prevailed.  “I have to ask you sorta of a strange question…What does Gus call Justin?  I mean both of you are his Mommies and Brian is his Daddy…what’s Justin?”

 

“Jsushin,” Lindsay answered.

 

“Not Momma or Dadda?”

 

“No,” Lindsay replied, chuckling.  “That’s absurd.  Why on Earth would you ask that?”

 

Instead of telling Lindsay the strange news, Dani opted to show her instead.  She flipped the pages of the photo album and pointed to Lindsay then to Mel’s pictures and he said Mommy to each once again.  She then turned to the picture of Brian and Gus and pointed to the picture of Brian.  Immediately, Gus called him ‘Dadda’.  

 

“OK, Gus,” Dani told the boy, pointing to the picture of Justin.  “Who’s this?”

 

Though Gus was tiring of this game, he answered, much to the surprise of both of his mothers.  “Momma.”

 

“Gus, who told you to say that?”  Lindsay asked, kneeling down so that she was eye to eye with her son.  She waited for an answer, but Gus only looked at her and said nothing.  

 

“Well, Justin has been in Gus’ life since he was born,” Mel reasoned as the shock wore off.  “And he does help baby sit him…even after he broke up with Brian…”

 

“I know…I love Justin, but…” Lindsay said.  She wasn’t exactly sure what she was feeling, but she knew she didn’t like it.  “I don’t know how I feel about Justin teaching Gus to call him Momma.  We take care of him, we’re his Mommies.”

 

“Brian is his Dadda, yet Justin takes care of Gus more than him,” Melanie replied quickly.  “That’s even after Justin kicked Brian to the curb.”  The more she thought about it, the more she wondered why Lindsay was having such a hard time with it.  Justin had always been a part of Gus’ life, and at one point, Lindsay encouraged it.  

 

“But, Justin isn’t Gus’ Momma,” Lindsay disagreed.  “He broke up with Brian…”

 

“So, if we break up, does that mean I won’t be Gus’ Mommy anymore?”

 

“Mel, you know what I mean,” Lindsay gasped, wondering how this conversation turned so ugly.  

 

“I mean that Justin and I aren’t biologically Gus’ parents, but _we are_ his parents,” Mel said.  She couldn’t believe she was having this debate with Lindsay and her face showed it.  “Maybe Gus just knows that.”

 

“So, you think he learned that all by himself?”  Lindsay asked, softly.

 

“No.”

 

“I think you two are missing the bigger picture,” Dani finally said, running her fingers through Gus’ hair as he flipped through the pages of the photo album, talking to the pages, pointing at pictures.  

 

“Which is?”

 

“What if it wasn’t Justin?”

 

Lindsay shook her head because she was absolutely sure it wasn’t Brian.  On the other hand, Melanie smirked because she wasn’t absolutely sure about anything.  In fact, the only thing she was fairly sure about was that this mystery would be solved very soon. 

 

****

 

Deb followed a waiter as he took her and Carl to their table. She felt a little uncomfortable as she looked around and saw the other patrons were dressed in more elegant garments than hers.  She smiled when they finally got to their seat in a secluded part of the restaurant.  

 

“This is really nice,” she told Carl, taking the menu from the waiter.  She listened to the specials and decided just to start with a glass of wine.  She waited for the waiter to leave before adding, “I wish you would’ve told me we were going out to some fancy place.”  She motioned to her clothes.  “I could’ve put something else on.”

 

“I like you just the way you are,” Carl told her, still reading his menu.  

 

“You better,” Deb replied, trying to decide what she wanted to eat, happy that it wasn’t food from the diner.

 

They took their time looking at the menu, chatting about the Brian/Ty/Justin triangle and the new addition of Nicky.  The waiter brought them their drinks, bread, took their orders and then left.  

 

“So, I talked to Jen and she told Justin to talk to Brian,” Deb said, buttering a piece of bread.  “Which is funny ‘cause I told Brian to talk to Justin.  Hopefully, one of those two nincompoops will listen.”

 

“Let’s not talk about this,” Carl said, pushing his mug of beer over to hold Deb’s hand.  “Let’s talk about something different…”

 

“That reminds me…there haven’t been any more killings have there?”

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Carl sighed.

 

“It just worries me…”

 

“I know,” Carl replied with a smile.  “And no, there haven’t been any more killings, so can we talk about something different?”

 

“It’s just that my boys are out there and I worry about them…”

 

“I know-”

 

“And it’s not just them; all those other boys have parents too...”

 

“Deb, I-”

 

“And I-”

 

“Can you shut up for one second and let me propose?!”  Carl snapped.

 

Debbie looked at Carl and watched as he brought out a jewelry case from his jacket pocket.  He opened the case displaying a small, but elegant ring, and got down on one knee.  “Will you marry me?”

 

****

    

Justin stood outside Brian’s front door as it was being unlocked.  When Brian opened the door, he immediately asked his former lover to not slam it in his face.  

 

“I wasn’t about to,” Brian replied, gesturing Justin inside.  He closed his front door and watched Justin as the younger man stood uncomfortably in the middle of the loft.  “What’s up?”

 

“I just brought you this,” Justin said, handing Brian a check.

 

“I told you, you don’t have to worry about it.”

 

“And I told you, I borrowed the money, I’ll pay you back,” Justin replied as he had many times before. 

 

“I gave you the loan so you wouldn’t have to worry about money while you were still in school,” Brian explained as calmly as he could.  He held out the check, motioning for Justin to take it.  “You can pay me as soon as you graduate.”

 

“Take the check,” Justin said, putting his hands in his pockets.  Here he was showing Brian that he was an adult.  He wanted to prove he was capable of living independently, a trait the older man had admired in himself, and Brian was still treating him like a child.  What made it worse was that he always felt like a little boy next to Brian.  What was even worse than that was when Brian made him sound like a whiny child.  “I promised I’d pay you back, so I am.”

 

“Jesus Christ, Justin!” Brian lambasted, much to the blond’s surprise.  “For once, just let me fuckin’ do this for you!”

 

Startled, Justin’s first reaction was to be hurt.  His next reaction was to yell back, but he didn’t when he realized that he’d be yelling at Brian for trying to help him.  He wanted his independence, but he also wanted to keep his one line of communication with Brian open.   “I just don’t want you to think I was with you for the money…”

 

“Never even crossed my mind,” Brian assured him, his lips curving to an awkward smile.

 

“Good,” Justin replied as feelings of relief overtook him.  He took back his check and stuffed it in his pocket.

 

Brian walked into the kitchen and asked Justin if he wanted anything.  When the younger man declined, Brian grabbed a beer and popped it open.  After watching Brian take a drink from his beer, Justin changed his mind and got one for himself.  

 

“You know, Brook is exactly how you said he was,” Justin said, popping his beer can open.  “I even warned Em, but I’m not so sure he listened.”

 

“Brook’s not that bad,” Brian disagreed, though even he had a hard time believing that.  No longer able to keep a straight face, he rolled his eyes and smirked.  “Alright, we’re both shit heads…”

 

“You’re not a shit head,” Justin replied.  He heard the words come out of himself so quickly, so passionately, and blushed when he saw that Brian had noticed too.  He nervously fidgeted under Brian’s gaze and started talking so that he could hear something besides his heartbeat. “And you and Brook are nothing alike.  When I first saw him I thought he was hot, but then he started talking…”

 

“A couple of years with me and you’ve been properly trained to sniff out pathetic shit like that,” Brian said, eyeing a bag sitting on his desk.  

 

“True,” Justin agreed, with a sad smile.  “But, that’s not what I meant.  I just meant, he’s kinda creepy, that’s all.”

 

“I thought you two might not get along,” Brian admitted, strolling over to the bag and walking back to the kitchen.   He took out a DVD of The Others and threw its bag away. He placed the DVD on the counter and turned to look in his cabinet.  “He’s a love him or hate him type of guy.”

 

“I don’t hate him,” Justin replied, picking up the DVD.  “I just don’t really like him.”  He read the back cover and asked, “Did you buy this?”

 

“I heard it was really good,” Brian said, taking out a bag of kettle corn and putting it into the microwave.  “And I can never remember when to take back those stupid fuckin’ rentals.  Last time I had to pay 34 bucks on late charges for a movie I didn’t even see.”

 

“I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie,” Justin replied as the smell of popcorn began to fill the loft.  He watched his former lover and hoped that the sound of the kettle corn popping in the microwave was some sort of olive branch.  The only problem was that Justin couldn’t tell what Brian was thinking behind his blank expression.  Deciding that his pride was prepared for rejection, Justin asked, “Mind if I join you?  That is if you don’t think Ty would mind.”

 

“Whose fuckin’ place is this?”

 

“Yours,” Justin answered, trying not to grin.

 

“Then get the movie started already,” Brian replied with a smirk.  He turned around and grabbed two more beers while Justin set up the movie.  He put the kettle corn in a large bowl and brought it all into the living room where he sat next to Justin on the sofa.   

 

As soon as Brian sat down, Justin had his hand in the bowl of kettle corn, happily burning the tips of his fingers for it.  Brian poked fun at him, but he didn’t care, freshly popped kettle corn was his favorite. He wondered if Brian actually remembered or was all this just a coincidence.  Turning his attention back to the movie, he grabbed for more kettle corn and ended up with Brian’s hand in his own.  It was only for a second, but his heart raced nonetheless. He took a moment to regain his composure then finally looked up Brian.

 

It was a surprise to the older man when Justin looked apologetic for the slight contact.  He chuckled because it seemed ridiculous to him, since his tongue had been deep in the blond’s plump ass not all that long ago.  Not wanting to bog the evening down with deep discussion, Brian scooted closer to Justin and wrapped his arm around him.  It didn’t take long for Justin to find his old position in Brian’s arms that fit him so well, snuggling in comfortably.  

 

Justin truly believed he was getting to the point where he understood about 5% of what Brian was. He guessed there was about 70% left to be figured out with the last 25% a mystery never to be solved.   


	10. Predictions, Part 2

Emmett felt like he had just come out of a long stupor.  He sat as Michael explained how Blake had come to move in with Justin and wondered when all of this happened.  Had he been asleep?  He didn’t have anything personal against Blake…well, maybe he did.  Blake did stand around and watch as Ted slipped into a coma from an overdose he helped induce.  Then, after Ted had insisted on getting Blake a job and getting him into rehab, the louse went back to his old life leaving Ted broken hearted.  

 

Emmett asked his roommate what his former boyfriend/best friend thought about the move and was stunned to find that Ted approved.   “You’re joking,” Em said calmly, sitting on the couch, looking at Michael intensely.  

 

“He was happy that Blake wasn’t out on the streets,” Michael explained as he organized a stack of well cared for comic books inside plastic slip covers.  When his roommate didn’t respond, he looked up and saw a pained expression on Em’s face.  “It’s not like they’re dating or anything…”

 

“Are you going to tell me Blake doesn’t want to get back with Ted?” Emmett asked as slowly as possible.  He could feel a dramatic moment coming and wanted to seem sane as long as possible before he got there.  

 

“Well…”

 

“I knew it!”  Emmett gasped, grabbing his chest, feigning a heart attack.  “The second I heard, I knew it!”

 

“Ted isn’t interested,” Michael said as quickly as he could, though it was obvious Em wasn’t listening.  

 

“I tried to tell Ted the first time, but would he listen: _oh, no!_   He took that little doped up ragamuffin in, fed him, dressed him up, got him a job and tried to clean him and for what?” Emmett paused, though it didn’t even look like Michael was going to attempt to interrupt.  “He left him!  I bet Blake’s already packing his bags to move in with Ted.  Next thing you know, we’re going to have an instant reply of the past and Ted could end up in another coma.  And if Ted’s lucky maybe Blake will be nice enough to stick around for the show.  What on earth is he thinking?”

 

“He’s thinking that at least Blake isn’t in some dumpster,” Michael offered, trying to bring his roommate back to some sort of reality.  When he saw that Em didn’t seem to care, he tried a different approach.  “Well, considering you dumped Ted, I don’t think you have the right to say-”

 

“Michael!”

 

“It’s true,” Michael snapped, officially tired of his roommate’s posturing.  “If I remember not too long ago, you were telling Justin that he had no right to say anything to Ty because he left Brian.”  He hated to be so blunt, but at this point it was better than listen to Emmett babble on about something neither of them could change.    

 

“Em, you left Ted,” Michael reminded him.  He tried to be as polite as he could, but the words just seemed to sting the second they left his mouth.  “You have no right to say who he does or doesn’t date.  In fact, if you took the time to talk to Ted, you’d know that he could use some attention.”

 

“But, I still love Ted,” Emmett pleaded, getting emotional at the thought that anyone would think otherwise.    “I just worry about him.”

 

Michael sympathized with his roommate as much as he sympathized with Justin, so he sat next to Emmett on the couch and held his hand supportively. “I worry about him too,” Michael agreed as Em squeezed his hand.  “We just have to hope he’s learned his lesson, which I think he has…since, like I told you before, Ted’s just not interested.”

 

“I know you say that,” Em said, trying to sound optimistic, yet failing miserably.  “But, that just reminds me of something Mysterious Marilyn once told me.”  

 

“What’s that?”

 

“She said that a couple that had broken up will get back together,” Em replied, thinking back to a night that seemed so long ago.  “I had hoped it was going to be Brian and Justin, but maybe it’s Ted and Blake.  Marilyn has a funny way of being right, what if it is Ted and Blake and they actually get back together?”

 

Michael sighed, understanding why Justin was only considered a Drama Princess: because the title of Queen was already held by Emmett.  “Mysterious Marilyn was also the person who said my true love’s name begins with B-R-I.  You really think Brian and I are gonna live happily ever after?”

 

“Who says it was Brian?”  Emmett countered.  “What if it’s another name that starts with B-R-I and you just haven’t met him yet?”

 

“Alright,” Michael conceded, though he wasn’t finished yet.  “Marilyn had some other predictions, right?  How many of those actually came true?”

 

****     

 

Taking a quick break outside, Justin took a drag off of his cigarette and rubbed the little piece of metal he held between his fingers.  Since he and Brian and separated, he had given up smoking for the most part.  He had shared a cigarette with his former boyfriend the night he spent watching The Others and laughed because Brian always had a way of changing his habits.   Or he had a way of changing his habits for Brian.

 

Flicking his cigarette away, Justin held up the key in his hand and asked himself why he never gave it back to Brian.  Of course he knew the answer, but it made him feel better when he asked himself the question.  Walking back into the diner, he saw Debbie standing at the counter taking to Dani about body counts and homicide statistics.  He interrupted to say hello to the attorney, who looked happy to change the topic of conversation.

 

“Well, I’m glad you’re back, because I have an invitation for the both of you,” Dani announced.  “I’m having a house warming party in two weeks.  Consider yourself officially invited.”

 

“Thanks,” Deb replied with a cheerful smile.  “Can I bring a friend…or shall I say fiancé?”  She flashed her modest, yet beautifully set diamond engagement ring.  

 

“Oh my God, congratulations! When did it happen?  Have you set a date?”

 

“He asked me last week,” Deb informed her, “but we haven’t set a date yet.  We’re thinking in a few months maybe.”  

 

“I can’t wait to harass Carl.”

 

“I’m sure he’s gotten it good from the guys at the station,” Deb chuckled.  Noticing a customer in the need of attention, she told Dani she’d be right back and left.

 

“Justin, feel free to bring whomever you see fit,” Dani told the artist, thinking of a way to ease the conversation to the topic of Gus.  Ever since the boy had called Justin ‘Momma’, she wondered who had taught Gus to say it.  There was no question in her mind that the boy had been taught, the only question was who.  She had her theories, as did Lindsay and Mel, and she wondered who was correct: Lindsay, who thought Justin did it to get Brian back or Mel, who thought maybe Michael or Deb might have had an unconscious hand in it.  Dani smiled and try to use her skills as an attorney to get the conversation where she wanted it to go.  “Especially if he’s a hunk…a hunk that would make sure Brian knows what a loser he is for letting you slip through his fingers.”

 

“Thanks.  Although, I honestly don’t think Brian would notice with Ty sucking on his face,” Justin replied, trying to keep the sickened look on his face. 

 

“Ty _is_ a character,” Dani said, taking a mental note that Justin didn’t deny wanting to get Brian’s attention.  “But, I don’t think Brian and he are getting as long nearly as well as Ty would like everyone to believe.”

 

“They’re most definitely not,” Justin laughed.

 

“You’d think Brian would jump at a guy who not only wants him, but wants to help out with Gus,” Dani said.  She then sipped on her cold cup of coffee and gauged Justin’s reaction.  “But, apparently, the only thing Brian and Mel can agree on is that Ty should be a million miles from Gus.”  She saw the stunned look on Justin’s face and continued.  “I think it’s a good thing because it would be just too confusing for a boy so young…with you and Ty looking so much alike.”

 

“I know,” Justin replied.  

 

“I mean, Gus would probably call you Ty and Ty, you.”

 

“I think I’d flip if Gus called me Ty,” Justin gasped.

 

“Can you picture it?”  Dani continued.  “Ty’s giving Gus a hug and calls him…”  She paused as if to think about it.  “What does Gus call you?”

 

“Jsushin,” he responded with a smile.  “It’s better than Ju Ju.  I think every time Gus called me that, Mel had an aneurysm.  He also calls me Shin, but I get an image of someone’s leg, so I’m trying to get him to stop saying that.”

 

“That’s interesting,” Dani replied pensively.  “Very interesting indeed.”

 

****

 

“Alright, let’s go over it one more time,” Michael sighed from his spot on the couch.  His comics were still strewn about the floor, but he couldn’t concentrate on them anymore.  

 

“There were a total of seven cards,” Emmett began sitting at a table, reading the notes he had taken.  “The first card was a good one.  It was like someone does a good deed or something like that…”

 

“Vague much?”  Michael asked.  “I could’ve said that and it come true.  What was another card?”

 

“The next one was that someone was going to commit suicide,” Emmett replied.

 

“And who may that be?”

 

“I dunno,” Em admitted.  He glanced over at Michael and told his roommate who he thought might fit the prediction.  “But, Brian’s the only one with a history with suicide…especially with Justin dumping him like an old pair of shoes in front of everyone at Babylon.”

 

“Oh, give me a break,” Michael snapped, defending his best friend.  “Brian does not have a history with suicide.  He almost had a Michael Hutchence moment, that’s all.  Why the fuck would Brian kill himself?”

 

“He turned 30.”

 

“Like it’s _that_ big of a thing,” Michael countered.

 

“Seemed so at the time.”

 

“It wasn’t,” Michael argued, wondering why they’d even consider such a thing.  “If you want to worry about someone, worry about Ted.  He’s the one that’s alienating himself from the world.”

 

“I _do_ worry about him,” Em answered.  He had obviously given it thought.  

 

“So, we can’t pinpoint that one until someone actually does something,” Michael replied.  “Next.”

 

“Here’s one that most definitely came true,” Emmett said, writing down the names of the persons involved with the prediction.  “Deb and Carl are getting hitched.”

 

“Don’t remind me,” Michael moaned, covering his head with a pillow.  

 

“That’s one.”

 

“Could have been a coincidence,” Michael insisted, the absurdity of it starting to grate on his nerves.  “Or it’s probably just because Marilyn was so vague that you can take what she said and apply it to anyone.”

 

“She also said that someone was going to have an old friend stay at their house,” Em said, trying to show the validity of Marilyn’s predictions.  “And Brook and Dani stayed with Linds and Mel.  Blake is staying with Justin…”  
  


“I’ll give you that one,” Michael sighed, coming from behind his pillow.  

 

“Then there was another good card followed by that stupid death card,” Emmett said, turning to Michael.  After thinking about the implications again, he decided maybe he didn’t want to believe Marilyn anymore.  “Maybe she _was_ wrong.  Maybe I’m just seeing something that’s not even there.”  He thought about the death card again and it brought queasiness to his stomach.  

 

“You are,” Michael assured him.  He didn’t like the thought of death card anymore than Emmett did and at that point he’d do just about anything to get their minds off Ted’s love life and death.  “Did you I tell you Brian and Justin had a date?  Well, not a date, per say, but they did watch a movie together.”

 

“It’s more than they did the entire time they were together,” Emmett replied, though his mind was still elsewhere.  

 

“True,” Michael agreed, “but it’s a good sign don’t you think?”

 

“I don’t know.  I’m not so sure I want them to get back together anymore.”

 

****

   

Lindsay had a plan when she walked into the diner.  She was going to try and get her son to call Justin ‘Momma’ in front of her, and then she would take the necessary actions to ensure that it wouldn’t happen again.  However, things didn’t go exactly the way she wanted them to.  When Justin came over to them, Gus immediately called him Ju Ju.  After Justin left to fill her order, she asked her son who that was and once again Gus said Ju Ju.  With some prompting, she asked her son what else he called ‘Ju Ju’ and her son said Jsushin.   

 

Deciding that she wasn’t getting anywhere with her son, she got Debbie’s attention and asked the older woman to attend to Gus while she spoke to Justin in private. Debbie agreed, wondering what it was all about, but Lindsay said it was nothing and that it shouldn’t take too long.  Getting Justin’s attention, she asked him outside to speak about the fact that her son was calling his father’s former lover ‘Momma’. 

 

“Is there something wrong?”  Justin asked when they got outside.  

 

“No,” Lindsay replied, though it was obviously a lie.  So, she decided to just get to the problem and fix it as soon as possible.  “Well, maybe…you do know that Mel and I are Gus’ mommies, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin answered, sounding a bit like he was saying, ‘duh’.  He saw Nicky pull up in his jeep and looked at his watch.  It was quitting time and Nicky was taking him to see Depeche Mode in concert.  He still had to go home and wash the diner smell off of him before he left, so he hoped Lindsay would just get to the point.

 

“I…I just think it isn’t appropriate…I mean…ah!”  Lindsay gasped, frustrated with her inability to convey herself.  She was positive Justin taught Gus to call him Momma and though she loved Justin; that was out of line.  She had a theory that Justin wanted to get back with Brian and was trying to use her son, albeit possibly unconsciously, to accomplish that task.  Not that she couldn’t blame Justin, she knew how much he loved Brian, but he was going to have to find another way, because her son wasn’t a toy and he wasn’t going to be treated as such.

 

“Linds, what’s up?”  

 

“Justin you know I love you…that Mel and I love you very much…”

 

“Now you’re staring to scare me.”

 

“Don’t be,” Lindsay chuckled, though it was from nerves.  “I just…” she sighed deciding there was no easy way to confront Justin.  “I just have to wonder _why_ you would teach Gus to call you Momma?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Justin, please don’t make this more difficult for me,” Lindsay said, feeling like the conversation had lasted an hour versus a few minutes.  

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Justin replied.  

 

“Justin, don’t deny it,” Lindsay told him before he had a chance to say anything more.  “Mel, Dani and I were all there when Gus pointed to a picture of you and called you Momma.  And honestly, I think you have a better chance of winning back Brian with another approach…”

 

“That explains why Dani was here earlier asking me about Gus,” Justin replied, taking off his apron.  “But, I still don’t know what you’re talking about because Gus has never, ever called me Momma.”  Justin motioned to Nicky that he would be just one more second.  “And if he ever had, I would have told you…so if you don’t mind, my date is waiting.”

 

Lindsay watched Justin walk inside the diner then walk out and get into the jeep driven by the handsome Italian looking man.  She wondered if she may have been mistaken, because if Justin didn’t teach Gus to call him Mommy, who did?

 

****

 

“Can I come in?” Dani asked, standing in front of Brian at his loft.  

 

“If you must.”  

 

“You look like you’re in a good mood,” she told him.  

 

“I’m in as good mood as I’ll ever be to hear your shit, Dani.”

 

“That’s good to hear,” she told him.  Sitting down on the sofa, she beckoned Brian to sit with her, which he did begrudgingly.  “I’m here to invite you to my housewarming party.”

 

Brian looked at her shocked.  “That’s it?  You came into the lion’s den to invite me to your housewarming party even though you know Brook’s already invited me?”

 

“You’re so smart,” Dani responded with an equal amount of sarcasm.  “But, you’re right…I’m here to talk about your son.”  She got out a few highly decorated folders and handed them to Brian.  “I thought these were right up your alley.”

 

“These are house listings…”

 

“You can read,” Dani mocked. “Yes, they are listings…and if you’ll take note…” She flipped open one of the folders and showed him a picture of the home.  “Not only are they spacious, a few are designed by famous architects.”

 

“I’m not interested,” Brian replied, though he didn’t slam down the folders as he had planned.  Dani was good and the pictures of the homes she brought were a first class pitch and Brian knew good advertising when he saw it.  

 

“I just thought the houses Lindsay’s realtor found for you were pretty fucking awful,” Dani admitted with a smile. “These are perfect come fuck me homes for the rich and precocious.  It’s perfect for a queen such as you, who wouldn’t dare live in a place with a grade school next door.  I’m still not sure what Lindsay had in mind with that place.”

 

“You’d think she’d know that I’d never move into a two bedroom Victorian house with flower wallpaper from floor to ceiling.”

 

“I bet she told you how you could go about redecorating it…”

 

“Like I’d care,” Brian replied.

 

“That’s it for me,” Dani said, getting up, and then stopping suddenly.  “Oh, I forgot…”  She took out two pictures and handed them to Brian.  One was of Brian, Justin and Gus, the other with just the two adults.  “I thought you might want them.”

 

Brian looked at the pictures.  He had never seen the picture with Justin and Gus before, so he put it aside.  The other picture was an older one, so he handed it back to Dani.  “I already have this one.  You keep it…to remind you of me.”

 

“I thought you might already have this one,” Dani said, pocketing the picture.  She ignored Brian’s coy look and continued.  “Brook said he wanted it…cause _‘Justin’s so hot’_.”

 

“Whatever,” Brian replied, walking her out.  The second she left, he went back to the picture of him, Justin and Gus and looked at it.  When he put the picture down, he strolled over to his phone and dialed.  “Justin there?”  He listened as Blake informed him of his roommate’s whereabouts.  “Tell him to call me when he gets back.”    

 

Brian sat on his couch and closed his eyes.  He wondered when everything got so screwed up.  For the first time, he had to admit to himself he was curious.  Where was Justin?  When was he getting back?  Who was he with?  The second the thoughts came into his mind, he pushed them back, trying to convince himself he didn’t care.  He didn’t care when he was with Justin, why would he care now?  

 

Brian opened his eyes, looked at the picture again and laughed.  He was going to have to stop lying to himself.  It was getting old, even to him.

 


	11. Home

 

Emmett walked into Ted’s office, ignoring the scantily clad bodies surrounding him.  Having worked there before he and Ted broke up, he was used to the flesh, sweat and groans all around.  Seeing his former boyfriend sitting at a desk, staring at a computer, he walked up to Ted and got his attention.  

 

“Hey,” Ted said, as soon as he saw Emmett.  He barely looked up from the screen, though it wasn’t out of spite.  “What’s up?”

 

“Justin asked me to give this to you,” Em replied, handing Ted an envelope.  When Ted opened it, he saw that it was a picture of Ted and Justin by a boat.  “When did you take that?”

 

“Last week,” Ted answered, smiling at the photos.  “We called you, but Michael said you were out with Brook.”

 

“I was,” Emmett said.  “So, I guess you’re OK with Blake staying with Justin.”

 

“Yeah,” Ted replied, as if it were preposterous to think otherwise.  “If it keeps Blake clean.”

 

“You’re not…”

 

Ted only looked up at Emmett, not answering.  It was clear he didn’t want to speak of such matters with the man who had dumped him.  He simply smiled and changed subjects.  “Justin and I were thinking about heading up to New York for the weekend…so he could actually see the Village.”

 

“That’s nice,” Em answered.  “I just think Justin should have thought about your feelings before even asking you.  He should have known that you’d say yes.  He shouldn’t have even asked.”

 

“I’m not two,” Ted snipped, leaning back in his chair.  “I can think for myself and if I thought it was a problem, I would’ve told him.  And you know what?  Justin gives a shit about what I think _and_ he would’ve told Blake to take a hike if he thought that’s what I wanted.  But, because Justin thinks with his heart before anything else, he cared enough to talk to me first…before he went off and did something rash.”

 

Ted gave Emmett a long look before returning to work.  He heard Emmett leave, but he didn’t look up before his former boyfriend was gone.  He slumped back into his chair, brought out the pictures of he and Justin by the boat.  He then got up, went to a back office and opened up a locker.  After taking off some tape, he placed the picture with several others of Justin that he had been collecting.  He smiled at one of the pictures where Justin seemed to be giggling, then frowned at the arm around him.  He then ripped the last of Brian’s hand away then replaced the picture back where it belonged and went back to work.

 

****

 

At an elegant restaurant, Justin sat across the table from Nicky, eating.  Their evening had been pleasant enough, but Justin’s mind kept going back to Brian and the sweet moments they had been sharing lately.  It was nothing spectacular, just simple things like watching a movie or eating Chinese while taking care of Gus.  He almost thought he could use his key to the loft, though he never actually did. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to get that comfortable again.  Because in the end, Brian would always be Brian and he would never be a monogamous man…no matter how much Justin wanted otherwise.

 

“Hello?”  Nicky said, waving a hand in front of Justin.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Earth to beautiful,” Nicky laughed.  “Where were you?”

 

“Just thinking about my art project,” Justin lied.  “Sorry.”

 

“It’s cool.  I was just going to go to the bathroom,” Nicky said standing up.  He leaned over and kissed Justin before leaving. 

 

Justin smiled and took a gulp from his glass of wine.  While he was doing that he looked over to another booth and saw a face he hadn’t in quite some time.  He almost choked on his Chardonnay, before putting the glass down and strolling over to where the man stood.

 

“Well, if it isn’t the good Reverend,” Justin said, standing over the priest Brian had had sex with at the baths.  When he saw the priest’s stunned expression, he reminded him.  “I met you at the baths…you were being fucked by my boyfriend, Brian.”

 

“Justin,” Reverend Tom replied, glancing around the restaurant to see if anyone else had heard the young man’s blunt remark.  “Of course I haven’t forgotten.  It’s nice to see you.”

 

“So, are you here praying…or waiting for your date?”  Justin asked sarcastically.

 

“Waiting for my date,” the reverend told him, ignoring the sarcasm.  He was happy his date actually arrived and pointed to her.  “I believe you know Joannie Kinney.”

 

“We’ve met once,” Justin replied, holding out a hand, though Brian’s mother didn’t take it.  Instead she greeted her priest and took the seat he offered her.  “And it was about as pleasant.”

 

“You’re…Brian’s friend…”

 

“I _was_ his boyfriend,” Justin corrected.  He spoke softly, suddenly feeling his bravado slip away.  It was clear the priest seemed shock by the declaration, but Brian’s mother seemed unfazed.  “Seems like your son has a hard time expressing love.”

 

“Brian’s always been a hard nut to crack,” Joannie said without even a glance upwards.  She looked to her pastor and smiled.  “But, hopefully with God’s grace, Brian will see the error of his ways, so that he has a spot in heaven.”

 

“So, because we’re fags, we’re going to hell?”  Justin asked, looking directly at the priest.  The hypocrisy was becoming so thick; he didn’t know how much more he could handle.     

 

“It clearly states as much in the Bible,” Joannie replied, finally looking up at the blond.  She seemed somewhat surprised by the sad look on Justin’s face.  She had intended on saying more, but the more she watched Justin, the more she wondered about the man…no boy her son had been intimate with.  It appeared the blond was of good breeding, probably upper middle class, probably spoiled rotten all of his life.  The more she looked at Justin, he more innocent he seemed to her…well, more so than their first encounter when she saw more than she ever cared for.   

 

Justin wanted to scream, ‘Does the Bible state anything about your son fucking Reverend Buttfuck?’, but he only seemed to get out, “Is that so, Reverend?”

 

“The Bible can be interpreted many ways,” the priest retorted.  “I firmly believe that if you are true to yourself and to God during your stay here on Earth, God will welcome you in the afterlife.”

 

“That’s convenient.”

 

“I’ve spoken to my son about this,” Joannie said, seeing an undercurrent of friction between her son’s former lover and her priest, but not knowing exactly what was going on.  “And he knows a life without God will only lead him to hell…and Brian lives without God.”

 

“He also lives without love,” Justin replied, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to drop.  “And if you love your son half as much as you love God, maybe you should try telling him that without the eternal damnation part.  According to you, he’s going to hell no matter what he does in life because he fucks men.  Do you really want your son to go to hell alone? I’d happily go there with him if I though he could love me…but it seems he was never taught how.  Maybe you should try getting off your high horse and telling him that without all the strings attached.”

 

“How dare you speak to me like that!”

 

“How dare you not love your son unconditionally…or do you not understand the word unconditional?” Justin retorted before storming away from the table, as tears flowed down his cheek.  He saw Nicky standing by their table, but he immediately begged to leave, which Nicky was more than obliged to do.

 

****

  

“I can not believe him,” Emmett complained as Brook sat in Michael’s favorite chair.  “It’s like everything Justin says is gold and my opinion is right there next to Newt Gingrich.”

 

“Well, Justin is a sweetheart,” Brook replied, though he really didn’t seem interested in the conversation.

 

“And they went on a trip together…like a date…what the hell was that?”

 

“Maybe Ted and Justin are dating,” Brook said, though remembering what Ted looked like, he snorted then chuckled. “Or maybe Ted’s pining after Justin like a loser.”

 

“He _is not_ ,” Emmett immediately replied, though the thought had crossed his mind.  There was a knock at the door and when he answered, Ty was there.  He hugged his friend and let him in, much to Brooks’ dismay. Brook had come by for a little tumble in bed, and now that the little trouble maker was there, that seemed further out of his reach.  Emmett was happy for Ty’s arrival, knowing exactly what Brook wanted from him.  And for once in his life he wasn’t interested in the sex.  “And Ted isn’t a loser.  Of all the people I know, he has the biggest heart.”

 

“A big heart…a little dick…who gives a shit about Ted anyway?”

 

“I do,” Emmett snapped, frustrated with himself and with Brook.  

 

“That makes me wonder why you’re with me at all,” Brook told him.  “Considering the fucked up relationship you have with the loser.”

 

“Fucked up relationship?”  Em laughed in disbelief.  “You want to talk about fucked up relationships, what about you and Dani? Hello?  You’re a big ole dick sucking queer married to a dyke.”

 

“She’s not even butch,” Ty added, with a chuckle.

 

“Dani and I have an acceptable arrangement,” Brook retorted.  “And at least I’ve never done porn.  You were about two steps away from being a whore.”

 

Emmett gasped in shock as Ty couldn’t hold back the laughter.  “Did you just call me a whore?”

 

“Yes he did,” Ty instigated. 

 

“That’s not what I said,” Brook tried to explain, but just seeing Ty’s smug face was getting on his nerves.  This visit was a bust, so without another word, he walked out of the apartment, slamming the door as he left.

 

Ty watched as Emmett gained his composure, then asked, “So, sweetie…how’ve you been?” 

 

****

 

Brian opened his door and was shocked to see his mother standing outside.  “Mom.”

 

“May I come in?”

 

Brian waved her in, and then closed the door behind her.  “So what do I owe the pleasure?”

 

“I spoke to your boyfriend earlier this evening,” she told him, placing her purse on the kitchen counter.  “We bumped into each other at a restaurant.”

 

Brian’s mind first thought of Ty, but he was positive Ty had no clue what his mother’s name was, let alone what she looked like.  But, the more he thought about it, the more it became clear that she was talking about Justin.  He was the only one she had ever met.  “Ex boyfriend…what did Justin have to say?”

 

“That I should tell you that I love you without reminding you that you’re going to hell,” Joannie said and when she did, she heard how absurd it sounded.  She laughed from nervousness; though there was a bit of humor there she hadn’t seen before.  “He’s a spunky one, isn’t he?”

 

“He’s a handful,” Brian replied, looking at his mother strangely when she began to laugh even more.  Seeing his mother laugh with such abandon, made him laugh as well and they shared that moment together.  “Yeah, he’s…spunky.”

 

“He loves you very much,” Joannie told him.  “Almost as much as I do.”

 

“I know, Mom.”

 

“I could never tell you anything,” Joannie said, picking up her purse.  “So, I don’t have to tell you how rare love is nowadays and that if you find love, you better hold onto it tightly…you’ll never know if you’ll ever find it again.  You know that, don’t you, Brian?”

 

Brian shook his head, yes, almost afraid if he spoke that he’d show an emotion that he hadn’t in quite some time.  

 

“So,” Joannie said, opening the door, walking to the elevator and getting inside.  She smiled and closed the door to the elevator and watched her son, who stood at his doorway.  “Since you’re already going to hell…I’d hate to see you be there all alone.” Her smiled glowed as a tear fell across her cheek.  “You understand me?”

 

Brian nodded yes as his mother descended to the first floor.  He had just hoped she didn’t catch the tears leave his eyes as she left.  Those were his…well, maybe not entirely.

 

****

 

Mel opened her front door to see Dani standing on the opposite side.  “Hey,” she said, allowing the other attorney to come in.  “Linds’ took Gus to the store with her, so all you have is me.”

 

“Not to be rude, but anything’s better than listening to Brook fuck an orgy of men…literally.”

 

“Yuck,” Mel sympathized, offering Dani a seat. “I’d think you wouldn’t put up with that sorta shit.”

 

“Normally I don’t,” Dani agreed, taking a seat.  “But, Brook’s in a special kind of funk…seems as if he and Emmett had pow wow.”

 

“Ooh, sounds juicy.”

     

“Apparently, Emmett was yammering on about Ted, so Brook called him a loser or something and that just set everything off,” Dani said, kicking off her shoes.  “And to add to the fire, Ty was there mouthing off.”

 

“I don’t trust him,” Mel admitted, not surprised by the blonde’s pension for trouble.  

 

“Well, I think it was Brook’s comments on Em’s former life as an on-screen jerky boy that really sent Emmett to his limit,” Dani relayed.

 

“That must’ve gone over well.”

 

“My favorite part was when Emmett criticized Brook for our arrangement,” Dani said, seemingly amused by it all.  “Serves Brook right for saying Emmett was almost like a whore.  Of course Emmett only heard the whore part, but who can blame him?  The only problem was that Brook got on the phone and called one of his other playmates and invited him and his roommates over for a slumber party.  What did you say?  Oh yeah…yuck.  I just wonder why he cares so much about what Emmett thinks when he has this monster sized hard on for Justin.”

 

“I wonder that too,” Mel replied, though she was more interested in something else.  “But…if you don’t mind…I’ve also been wondering about why you’re married to Brook if you can hardly stand him.”

 

“Money,” Dani said without any regret.  “And Brook looks a whole lot better knowing I’ve got a few million coming my way when the bag of bones finally kicks the bucket.”  When she noticed Mel didn’t know that she was talking about she asked, “Linds never told you?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“My granddad is loaded,” Dani explained.  “And since my parents died when I was young, he tends to spoil me rotten.  The only problem is that he’s the biggest bigot this side of the Mississippi…which is why Brook and I moved to California.”

 

“But, why get married?”

 

“Because Granddad caught me in bed with this old girlfriend I had,” Dani told her, remembering that dreadful discovery.  “It took him two seconds to disown me and two years to convince him that I was just experimenting.  I don’t think he was entirely convinced until I actually got married.”

 

“Not to put you down,” Mel said.  “But, I don’t think I could ever do that.”

 

“Sometimes I wish I hadn’t,” Dani replied.  She thought back to the time when the decision was made and laughed.  “Did you know Lindsay was planning on marrying Brian.  The only problem was that when Brook brought up the subject, Brian shot it down so fast, Lindsay never even bothered to ask…and she was going to, since I went with her looking at rings.”

 

“Linds never said anything,” Mel gasped.

 

“She’s probably embarrassed,” Dani reasoned.  “In those days she was really confused.  I even thought that she might have been faking being gay to get closer to Brian, considering his utter dislike of straight people…especially women.”  Dani watched Mel’s expression and knew she had said too much.  “But, then at this point, that’s all pretty moot, considering you two have been together how long?”

 

“Seven years.”

 

“Seven years is a long time to be faking it,” Dani chuckled.  “Unless you have a dick under there.”

 

“No, no cock that I’m aware of,” Mel laughed.

 

“Good, being a dick is Brian’s job.”

 

**** 

 

Brian heard the knock at his door and wondered when his loft became Grand Central Station.  However, his mood changed when he saw Justin standing there.

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“Sure,” Brian replied, closing the door after Justin came inside.  “Heard you had a run in with the Bible thumper.”

 

“You’ve talked to her?” Justin asked, completely taken aback by the news.  He never actually thought Brian’s mother would speak to him, especially so soon after their encounter.

 

“Seen her actually,” Brian said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in his own home.  “She wanted to tell me how much she loved me…even if I’m going to hell.”

 

“I asked her to leave out that part,” Justin sighed.

 

“She’ll never change,” Brian said, though he wasn’t sure how true that statement was anymore.

 

“Must run in the family,” Justin replied, though he thought it sounded funnier in his head.  “Sorry.”

 

“Never apologize for what you feel,” Brian reminded him.  “Keep being…spunky.”

 

“Spunky?”

 

“That’s what my mom called you.”

 

“I’m surprised that’s all she called me,” Justin said with a chuckle.  Justin glanced around the room and noticing the absence of another blond, he asked, “Where’s Ty?”

 

“I don’t give a fuck,” Brian replied, looking into Justin’s eyes so intensely, the younger man had to turn his head.  “Justin…”

 

“I think I should leave,” Justin interrupted, heading for the front door.  He could feel Brian’s presence around him, almost smothering him.  He wanted to be overtaken, but then again, he also wanted to walk away with his pride _and_ his heart still intact.  With his back towards Brian, he finished, “I just wanted to warn you about my run in with your mom.”  Justin had every intention of walking through the door only Brian’s soft voice stop him in his tracks.  

 

“Don’t leave me.”

 

Justin leaned his head against the cool metal of the front door and cried, not wanting to leave, yet not wanting to turn around.  He wasn’t really sure if his body would obey him if he had even decided to leave.  “Brian…”  Justin began, expecting a response.  However, he wasn’t expecting one so close.  He felt Brian’s warm breath against his neck when the other man told him to stay.

 

“I can’t,” Justin cried.  “I can’t just be with you once then leave like it means nothing, because it means everything.”

 

“Who said I want you to leave?”

 

The second Justin turned around, Brian pressed his lips against his and they were in each other’s arms, kissing like they had never been apart.  Something in Justin expected them to rip off their clothes and start with the sex, but that’s not exactly what happened.  Justin felt Brian lift him off the ground and carry him into the bedroom where they practiced the fine art of French kissing until the need became too much.

 

And they were home once again.

 


	12. Liar

Flashing lights from an ambulance brightened the loft momentarily as it passed by.  The sirens were a low hum, but neither Brian nor Justin were asleep.  They lay in each other’s arms, not moving for fear the moment would end.  

 

“Brian…”

 

“Shhh…”

 

Justin turned and faced Brian, his eyes full of want, lust and fear all wrapped in one.  He had so many questions and there were so many things he needed to say, but even he knew he might not get the answers he wanted.  Yet, still, Justin could not live like he had before.  “Brian, we need to talk…”

 

“I know,” Brian sighed, but he didn’t want to talk.  Every time he and Justin talked, things didn’t seem to go right.  He wasn’t sure if it was Justin’s youth and inexperience or his stubbornness and set ways, but he was sure that if they spoke, their moment would most definitely end.  “But, let’s talk tomorrow.  Let’s just have tonight, alright?” 

 

“What if Ty comes back…home?” Justin asked.  Instantly, he knew Brian hadn’t even thought of it.  He sat up and started looking around for his clothes.  “I should leave.”

 

“Don’t,” Brian told him, wrapping an arm around Justin.  He felt his love melt into his arms and whispered, “This isn’t his home…it’s ours.”

 

“It’s yours,” Justin corrected, facing Brian.  

 

“It’s ours when you move back in,” Brian said.

 

“I can’t…”

 

“What do you mean you can’t?”  Brian asked, feeling angry, betrayed and scared all at once.  He tried to hide it, but there was nothing he could do to prevent those feelings.  

 

“There are too many bad memories, Bri,” Justin said, looking around the loft.  “Every time I look around this place do you know what I see?  I see you fucking some redhead on the couch.   Or some tattooed freak on our chair.  Or getting your dick sucked by twins…”

 

“So,” Brian sighed.  “There aren’t any good memories here? How about the first night you walked in here?”

 

“I didn’t say there weren’t any good ones,” Justin replied, wishing that he would have kept his mouth shut.  “Brian, I didn’t want to talk about this…”

 

“Then what exactly did you want to talk about?”  Brian asked, his frustration growing.  

 

“Don’t be mad at me,” Justin pleaded.  “ _You know_ you’re always what I’ve wanted-”

 

“You showed that when you left with Ethan,” Brian sniped.  

 

“You said you wouldn’t love me!” Justin argued, no longer able to hold back the tears.    “Not couldn’t… _wouldn’t_.  It’s like you wanted me to leave…you were practically telling me get out and find someone else.”

 

“I knew you already had,” Brian replied, eyes filling with tears, though he kept them in check.  “What was I supposed to do?”

 

“Tell me you love me and you need me,” Justin told him.   “Tell me that you want me and only me…”  Justin looked into Brian’s eyes, but the older man just looked away.  “And you still can’t.  There’s always going to be some other trick, some other fuck right around the corner and I can’t do it, Brian!  It makes me feel dirty!  And as much as I love you, I can’t do it anymore!”

 

There was a part of Brian that reeled from hearing Justin spill out his inner most feelings, but his face was blank. His only emotion was the threat of tears that never fell.  He watched as the blond found his pants and quickly put them on.  Justin swiftly put on his shoes and looked around for his shirt.  Brian simply sat and wondered why they bothered to say anything at all.  He knew what would happen.  There was no other ending than this one.  

 

Justin put on his shirt and looked down at Brian, who hadn’t budged from his spot on the bed.  “I’m sorry, Brian,” he whispered.  “I know I was the one who fucked up…even from the beginning.  I know I was the one who kissed that frat boy and I was the one who cheated on you with Ethan.  But that’s because I lied to you from the start.” Justin paused to try to find the perfect words for such an imperfect situation.  

 

“I should have known I could have never lived this sort of life.  But I wanted to be with you so much I lied to you _and_ to myself.  Maybe it’s because I thought you’d change or that maybe things would get better, but I suppose I was just a stupid kid who knew nothing.  All I knew was that I loved you and I fooled myself into thinking you loved me too…”  Justin sobbed and turned to the door.  “I was stupid and I’m sorry for ever coming here…”

 

Justin opened the door and pressed for the elevator when he heard Brian walk behind him.  He wanted to turn around and hold Brian one last time, but he also wanted to hear the loft door shut.  It seemed like everything he wanted he couldn’t have and everything he had he no longer wanted.  His feelings were as mixed up as his life.  

 

“Justin,” Brian said. He waited for the younger man to face him before he continued.  The words seem to stick at the bottom of his throat, but he finally found the courage to say what had been on his mind for quite some time.  “You know how much I l-”

 

“Don’t!” Justin interrupted.  He shouted and sobbed, feeling torn about what he was about to say.  “Don’t say it!  Not now…not if you can’t at least try to commit to us!” 

 

Justin was sure his face had the same shocked expression Brian’s did and it just made him cry more.  Ashamed of himself, Justin couldn’t stand there under Brian’s gaze, waiting for the elevator any longer, so he ran down the stairs as fast as he could.

 

Brian wanted to run after Justin…or say something, but he couldn’t.  At that moment he was spent mentally and emotionally and he couldn’t give anymore than he already had.  He closed his eyes as the elevator came up then opened them when he heard someone’s voice. 

 

“So,” Ty said, opening up the elevator door.  “You miss me that much baby?”

 

****

 

“Thanks,” Dani told the waiter as he placed a cup of tea in front of her.  She saw Lindsay walk in the restaurant and waved to her old friend.  “Hey you.”

 

“Hey,” Linds replied, hugging Dani then sitting down across from her.  “Sorry I’m late.”

 

“That’s fine, I just ordered some tea,” Dani said.  

 

“So, what’s going on?”  Lindsay asked, anxiously.  She had gotten the message from Dani earlier in the evening and wasn’t sure what it was about.  All she knew was that Dani had sounded a bit strange.  “Is there something wrong?”

 

“Yeah, actually,” Dani replied, happy that they were getting right to the topic at hand.  She was taking a break from working on a case that seemed to get more and more complicated by the day and she wanted to get back to it.  “Did Mel tell you I saw her earlier?”

 

“Actually, I’m glad you brought that up,” Lindsay said, looking a bit upset.  “I have to wonder what you were thinking telling Mel all of those things.  And honestly, I’m a little disappointed in you-”

 

“Disappointed in me?”  Dani interrupted.  She was shocked by her friend’s demeanor and it showed.  But shock quickly turned to anger.  “I’m pretty disappointed in you right now.”

 

“In me? I’m not the one who opened her big mouth.”

 

“Well, I’m not the one lying to my partner of seven years,” Dani argued.  “And it’s pretty fucking convenient of you to make me look like a complete shithead while you come off smelling like roses.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“I have to ask you a question, and all I ask is for the truth,” Dani began.  “Have you told Mel why we’re not together?”

 

“My relationship with Mel is none of your business!”

 

“That would be a no,” Dani laughed, though there was little funny with situation.  

 

“I told Mel why we broke up,” Lindsay disagreed.  

 

“We broke up?”  Dani chuckled.  “No, I dumped you, and do you remember why I dumped you?  Or did you give Mel your whitewashed version of that?”

 

“We broke up,” Lindsay repeated sternly.  “And we broke up because we were at different stages in our lives.”

 

“Is that the memory you made up for yourself?” Dani asked, wondering if Lindsay wasn’t in a full state of denial.  “Because, if I remember correctly, I gave you a choice…me or Brian.  Don’t you remember that night?  I do…you were wearing that cute blue tank with no bra.” Dani shook her head and saw Lindsay fight the memory.  Apparently, Lindsay had created her own.  “But, Brian always came first…”

 

“That’s not how it is with Mel and me,” Lindsay said, shaking her head.  “We have a great relationship and a wonderful son-”

 

“Brian’s son,” Dani reminded her.  “And Brian’s a part of his life.  If you really wanted a relationship with Mel, Brian wouldn’t have been in the picture.”

 

“That’s not true!”

 

“What’s true is that you and Mel should be Gus’ parents and Brian should have had nothing to do with it at all,” Dani told her.  “And the fact that you wanted Brian proves to me, even after all these years, you’re still hoping that maybe someday you two will get married and be some picture perfect white bread family with a house and a little white picket fence.”

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

 

“I know you,” Dani replied, disgusted by what she was hearing.  “I was so happy that you found someone.  You know, I really was.  But you’re always going to put Brian before everyone else…just like college.  Because you’re in love with Brian and you always will be.”

 

“That was years ago,” Lindsay remarked, though Dani didn’t seem to be listening.  

 

“Is it? Look at the way you’ve treated poor Justin,” Dani reminded her.  “You just assumed he was the one who told Gus to call him momma.  You didn’t even think that Brian could’ve done it.  Why?  Because if Brian can’t love you, how could he possibly love anyone else?”

 

“Brian will always have a special place in my heart,” Lindsay tried to explain, but Dani wasn’t buying it.

 

Dani took out some money and placed in on the table.  She stood up and looked down at her long time friend.  “Linds, you know I love you.  So, as a friend and former lover, I have to warn you about the road you’re taking.  The longer you hold onto Brian, the harder it will be to save your relationship when Mel can’t take it any longer.  And in the end it won’t mean shit because Brian will never, ever want to be with you.  And do you know why that is?” She paused, though Lindsay said nothing.  “Because he’s a _queer,_ just like _you’re_ supposed to be.”

 

****

 

“Are you really going to wear white?”  Vic asked, ducking his head when his sister tossed a pillow at him.

 

“What’s wrong with me wearing white?”  Deb lamented as she looked through Bride magazine.  

 

“Do we really want to go there?” Michael said.  

 

“I think you’d look beautiful in white, Deb,” Ben told her.  He started to say something else when he began to cough uncontrollably.  Debbie immediately went to his side with a glass of water as Michael patted Ben’s back.  “I’m fine.”

 

“We should go home,” Michael said, grabbing his jacket.

 

“No, no,” Ben replied, after drinking some water.  “I’ll be fine, baby.”

 

“What did your doctor say?”  Vic asked, empathizing with the younger man.  He felt fine and that made him feel guilty.

 

“He says that I’ll be fine,” Ben repeated with a smile.  Although he looked tired, he seemed to be in good spirits.  “And we’re not talking about me; we’re talking about Deb’s wedding…”

 

“Yeah,” Vic agreed.  He knew what Ben was going through and saw the other man’s need to change subjects to anything but his health.  He handed his sister the newspaper and asked her if she saw the sale at a small boutique.  

 

“No,” Deb replied, looking at the newspaper.  She flipped through the pages trying to find the page her brother was talking about with a forced smile on her face.  As the days moved on, Ben’s heath seemed worse and it really worried her.  “Where the hell is it?”  She flipped through until she got to the second to the last page and saw something that stunned her.  “Oh my fucking God!”

 

“What?”  Vic asked, standing up and looking at the newspaper.  

 

“They found another one,” Deb gasped.  She read from the paper and shook her head.  “ _The body of a man who had been strangled to death was found Monday in dumpster in the area of Liberty Avenue, Pittsburgh Police said.  A garbage man discovered the body about 1:30 p.m. north of the 100 block of Liberty Avenue.  Authorities don’t know how long the body had been in the dumpster or what the motive for the slaying might have been.  They were still trying to determine the victim’s identity and looking through missing person’s reports, Pittsburgh Police said.  The victim was described as a white male between 20 and 30 years old.  He was wearing a pink shirt, jeans and white tennis shoes.  An autopsy was scheduled for today_.”

 

“And?”  Ben asked.

 

“And that’s it,” Deb huffed, looking through the pages and finding nothing more on the story.  “That’s all they give this poor kid…7 fucking lines!”

 

“Calm down, Deb,” Vic warned, to no avail.

 

“I can’t believe Carl didn’t say anything about this!” Deb lamented. 

 

“I wonder why,” Vic replied sarcastically.

 

“Well, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind,” Deb announced. “If we’re gonna be married, he can’t hide stuff from me.  And this is important.  I could help!”

 

“Ma, you’re supposed to scare him _after_ you tie the knot,” Michael chuckled, watching his mother grab her jacket.  “Not before.”  

 

“I’m gonna talk to him about this calmly,” Deb told them, though no one really looked like they believed her.  

 

“Well, if you do, you better make sure you have your engagement ring on,” Vic said, pointing to her finger.  

 

“Oh,” Deb replied, going to the end table where she thought she last saw her ring.  When she didn’t find it, she told Vic to look for it upstairs while she checked her purse.  

 

“It’s not up there,” Vic told her when he came back downstairs.  “Where did you see it last?”

 

“I took it off to try on those new gloves, then I put it back on right after it,” Deb said, looking around frantically.  When she saw the others watching her she pointed at them and shouted, “Get your asses up and help me!”

 

****

 

Justin stormed into his apartment crying and hating himself for not being able to stop.  Blake immediately came to his side and asked him what was wrong, but Justin couldn’t speak.  Justin simply collapsed to the floor and sobbed, covering his face.  

 

Blake really didn’t know what to do, so he sat on the floor with Justin and let the man cry.  He held Justin in his arms and rocked him until the sobbing stopped.  

 

“How do I do it?”  Justin asked.

 

“Do what?”

 

“Find new ways to fuck up my life,” Justin replied, holding onto him…wishing Blake were someone else.  

 

“Trust me,” Blake told him.  “You can’t fuck up your life more than I’ve fucked up mine.”

 

“Try me,” Justin cried.  “I just stopped the only man I’ll ever love from telling me that one thing I’ve always wanted to hear from him.  I just threw away the love of my life.  You have no idea what I’m going through…”

 

“Sure I do,” Blake reminded him. 

 

“Shit,” Justin sighed, feeling even worse, if that were possible.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” Blake said, leaning his head against Justin’s.  “Things might get better between you and Brian…it _was_ Brian, right?”

 

“It’s always Brian,” Justin replied.  

 

Justin sat on the floor with Blake until the phone began to ring.  “Maybe that’s Brian right now,” Blake said optimistically.  

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin said unenthusiastically.  “Telling me to go to hell.”

 

Blake picked up the phone and said hello.  He looked at Justin and lipped the name Nicky.  Without saying a word, Blake asked Justin if he wanted to speak to his new boyfriend and Justin responded by getting up and taking the phone from him.

 

“Hey,” Justin said, sounding like he had just ran a ten mile race.  “Yeah…I guess.  That sounds fun, I guess so.  I mean yes, I’d love to.  When?  Right now? When will you be over? I’ll get my things together.  How long are we staying? See you in a bit.”  

 

Justin hung up the phone and answered the questions Blake hadn’t the chance to ask yet.  “Nicky’s taking me to Las Vegas, all expense paid.”

 

“Sounds exciting.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied, sounding anything but excited.  

 

“Maybe you should talk to Brian one more time,” Blake advised him.  “Maybe things aren’t over like you think they are…”

 

“It’s over,” Justin cried.  “And I’m getting on with my life with a man who appreciates me…”

 

Blake watched as Justin packed a small bag full of clothes looking anything but happy about his trip…or his life.

 

****  

 

“Honey, I’m home,” Lindsay announced, walking into the living room where Mel lay watching television.  She kissed her partner and began to taking off her shoes.

 

“So, what’s up with Dani?”  Mel asked; her attention caught between her lover and the program on the TV.  “She finally figure out who taught Gus to call Justin Momma?”

 

“No,” Lindsay replied lying next to Mel on the couch.  

 

It was the ominous sound in Lindsay’s voice that made Mel turn her complete attention to her partner.  “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

 

“No, something happened…”

 

“Nothing, honey,” Lindsay repeated, kissing Mel on the forehead.  “She just wanted some help with her house warming party.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Would I lie to you?”  

 

Mel thought about it and kissed Lindsay sweetly on the mouth.  “No.”

 

****

 

When Michael opened the front door, he was a little surprised to see Emmett standing there.  

 

“Just to warn you,” Michael told his roommate.  “Enter at your own risk…”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“My mom lost her engagement ring,” Michael explained as Emmett entered the home.  

 

“I’ve heard this before,” Em said, watching Ben and Vic look move the refrigerator so that Deb could look behind it.  

 

“Yeah, it’s been a broken record in here for the last 20 minutes,” Michael replied, shaking his head when Deb said her ring wasn’t behind the refrigerator.  

 

“You won’t have to hear it anymore when you help me find it,” Deb snapped.  She immediately apologized to her son and plopped down on the couch defeated.  She looked like she was about to cry.  “He’s gonna kill me!”

 

“He’ll understand,” Vic told her, though he really didn’t believe it.  He knew he’d be upset if he were Carl.

 

“I know this,” Emmett said, looking around the apartment.  

 

“You know what?” Michael and Deb asked together. 

 

“I know this...” Emmett repeated, walking into the kitchen.  “Did you try the drain in the kitchen sink?”

 

“No,” Deb replied.  “I remember taking it off before I washed the dishes and putting it on afterwards.  Why, you know something I don’t?”

 

“It’s something Mysterious Marilyn said,” Emmett told the group.  “About her predictions…”

 

“Not this again,” Michael sighed.  He was about to say more when Ben got up and went into the kitchen to test Emmett’s theory.  Michael looked skeptical, but all that disappeared when Ben came from underneath the sink with a gold ring in his hand.  

 

“You found it!”  Deb cheered, grabbing the ring and putting it back on her finger.  “That’s wonderful!”

 

“No it’s not,” Emmett replied, sitting down.  It looked like he was about to break out in tears.  “That just means that Marilyn was right…and someone’s going to die…”

 

Michael thought about it.  What was once a set of vague prophecies seem to be coming true in one fashion or another and it was beginning to scare him.  He looked at his boyfriend and wondered if it was Ben who was sentenced to death.  The thought frightened him. The predictions were becoming too real, too much for him. 

 

****       

 

Justin was delaying the inevitable, so he took the stairs.  He knocked on the front door and held his head low when Brian answered.  He didn’t know what to expect and felt relieved when Brian just walked back into the loft, leaving the front door open.  

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to stay,” Justin said, choking back his tears.  

 

Brian turned his back and waited, not saying anything.  The loft was quiet and the lights were dimmed.  Justin peeked into the bedroom and saw that it was empty.  He wanted to ask about Ty, but didn’t.  It wasn’t his place and it killed him.  

 

Justin waited for Brian to say something, anything, but the older man kept his feelings to himself.  Justin didn’t know why he expected him to share: Brian had never shared his feelings before, why should he start now?  

 

Justin looked around the room and decided to just get it over with.  Not that he wanted to.  He was about to separate himself from the man he loved and it wasn’t as easy as he told himself it would be.  Of course it wasn’t.  

 

“I just wanted to give you something,” Justin began, holding a small object in his hand.  “But, I wanted to tell you why…” He fought his tears, but they were in control, falling down his cheek with abandon.  “I love you, Brian.  You know that, you always have.  But, it isn’t enough.  I need you to know you love me too.  I need to know that I’m somehow important to you.  That I’m special…not just another one of your tricks.  I need…”  

 

Justin wiped away his tears, but they continued to fall.  He hoped Brian would say something, but the older man kept his back to him.  “I’m leaving for a week,” Justin continued.  He watched Brian walk over to the kitchen and lean against the counter.  Brian never faced him.  

 

“And when I get back, I don’t think we should…”  Justin sobbed and turned his head.  Although Brian had his back to him, Justin couldn’t face him.  It was too painful. “…see each other anymore.  I quit the diner and I got another job, so you don’t have to worry about seeing me there.  I really don’t go to Babylon anymore since that’s your playground and…”  

 

At that point, Justin would have killed for Brian to yell at him, call him a dog, a liar, anything, but that wasn’t going to be.  As usual, Brian was keeping his feeling locked within himself and that in itself was a part of the problem.  And even though Brian didn’t seem to care why Justin wanted his distance, he felt the need to explain.  “I…I can’t be around you anymore…it’s just too hard.  I still love you so much and to see you with Ty or…whomever…it’s too hard.”  

 

Justin approached Brian, but he didn’t get too close.  He simply placed the item in his hand on the counter so Brian could see and said, “It’s the key to the loft.”  Justin turned and walked to the front door and sobbed, “Goodbye…”

 

Justin took the stairs, because he didn’t want a chance that he’d change his mind.   He ran down them as fast as he could, wiping the tears as they fell.  When he got outside, he saw Nicky come out of his jeep and wondered why the man looked so shocked. 

 

“Did he do something to you?” Nicky asked.

 

“No.”

 

“What did he say to you?”

 

“Nothing,” Justin replied.  That was the problem.

 

Nicky looked back at the building, while Justin fumbled to open the jeep door.  “Get in the jeep,” Nicky told him, moving Justin aside and opening the door for the blond.  

 

Justin seemed flustered, but he also saw the seat of the jeep as his salvation because he didn’t know how much longer he could stand.  His head was pounding, and though he was sure Nicky was talking to him, he didn’t know what the other man said.  All he knew was that he couldn’t stop crying, no matter how hard he tried.  Justin leaned to sit in the jeep when he heard it. 

 

“Justin!”

 

Justin wasn’t sure who screamed his name initially, but when he looked up, all he saw was Nicky looking back at Brian’s building.  Brian.  Nicky was blocking his way, so Justin pushed him aside and stood back up to see Brian standing on his stoop with tears flowing down his eyes.  The sight shocked him.  Brian was crying.  Justin had a thought that he and Brian must look alike at that moment: red eyes, shocked expression and tears.  So many tears.  He didn’t know why, but Justin’s heart filled when he realized those tears were for him.  

 

Nicky saw Brian stumble out the building and immediately shoved Justin into the car.  He had never seen Brian before and now that he had, he wanted them to be as far from that man as possible.  “He’s still the same man,” Nicky told Justin.  “Just get into the car.”

 

The words rang true and Justin turned to do as he was told.  The problem was that his body didn’t want to get in the jeep, so he stood there, staring blankly at it. Even when Nicky took him by the arm and tried to force him back in, Justin grabbed onto the door as he struggled with his own decision.

 

“Justin,” Brian cried out, his words cracking with fear.  He saw Nicky try and force Justin into the jeep and he panicked.  He stumbled down the stairs and stopped as Justin turned to get into the jeep.  “I love you!”

 

Time stopped.  It was only a second, but at that moment…those words burned into Justin’s mind.  They must have echoed in his head at least twenty times before he looked up to see Brian staring at him.  He was shaking.  Brian was shaking and breathing more labored than Justin had ever seen him.  That’s when he felt it.  Nicky was still trying to push Justin into the jeep.  He had heard the words, only Justin wanted to see it…feel it…and it seemed like Brian knew exactly what he wanted.

 

“Justin, I love you,” Brian repeated.  “I always have.  I always will…”

 

“Oh God, Brian,” Justin managed to say.  

 

Justin felt Nicky’s grip on his arm and pushed away.  He wasn’t expecting Nicky to take a stronger grip, but it appeared the other man had no intention of letting go so easily.  Only Nicky had no idea what he was dealing with.  Most likely, he had expecting a fight from Brian; he wasn’t expecting a fight from Justin, but that’s exactly what he got.  

 

Justin pushed Nicky and when that didn’t release the other man’s grip, Justin punched Nicky in the chest.  The blow didn’t seem to have the effect he was hoping for, so Justin hit Nicky several more times.  Although the blows were more like slaps, easily taken by the stronger man, it was the meaning behind them that made Nicky let go.   As soon as he did, Justin pushed away and ran to Brian.

 

They were hungrily locking lips before either had a chance to breathe.  Gasping for air, they kissed and held each other, ignoring the man standing by his jeep.  Justin wanted to look at Brian, so he wiped away some of the man’s tears and his heart jumped when Brian did the same.  His lip trembled, but Justin was able to say, “I thought you said you would never love me.”

 

Brian leaned in for a soft kiss, still unable to stop his tears.  He smiled, pressed his forehead to Justin and replied, “I lied.”


	13. Keeping Secrets

Melanie sat in her living room waiting impatiently for Brian.  He had promised to come for breakfast with her and Lindsay so they could discuss Gus’ preschool schedule.  Unsurprisingly, Brian was nowhere to be found.  Lindsay had called his loft several times, only to get his answering machine.  They called his cell phone and his job and they came up empty on those ends as well.  When breakfast turned to brunch, then to lunch, Lindsay was still hopeful that Brian would show.  Mel, however, was less enthusiastic.

 

“He’s a no show once again,” Mel huffed, her arms folded across her chest.  

 

“Mel, he probably just had a late night,” Lindsay reasoned.  

 

Lindsay was as annoyed as her partner, though she knew better than to fan the flames of Mel’s anger.  Instead, she opted to keep cool by reminding herself that Brian loved his son.  In fact, since Brian had come home from his business trip to Australia, he had been more involved his Gus’ life than he had ever been before.  

 

“I’ll just call his loft again,” Lindsay said, picking up the phone from where she sat.  She listened until she heard his voice mail, and then left him another message.  

 

“You know what I don’t understand?” Mel asked, although it was rhetorical.  “Why we have to discuss Gus’ schooling with Brian at all.”

 

“Brian’s Gus’ father,” Lindsay replied calmly.  “He deserves to have some sort of input regarding Gus’ future.”

 

“But, we’re his parents!”  Mel snapped, standing up and walking to the window as if Brian would suddenly appear.  “We change diapers.  We clean up his messes.  We stay up all night when he has a nightmare.  We should decide his future…not Brian.”

 

“Brian pays for Gus’ future,” Lindsay reminded Mel.  

 

Melanie turned and stared at Lindsay, not knowing how to respond to the statement.  It was true that Brian did pay for most of Gus’ clothes, babysitting and other activities, but she and Lindsay were supposed to be the child’s parents…not Brian.  

 

“Maybe that needs to change,” Mel said.  

 

“And how exactly do you expect to pay for all of Gus’ stuff _and_ the mortgage _and_ the utilities _and_ the car payments _and_ the student loans _and_ …”

 

“Goddamn it!”  Mel complained, beginning to pace the floor.  “I really fucking hate the hold he has on our family.  Our family Linds…not his.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Do you?”  Mel asked.  She saw the hurt expression on Lindsay’s face and immediately apologized.  She sat next to her partner and hugged Lindsay, frustrated with the situation she felt she had been brought into.  “I just hate this.”

 

“Me too,” Lindsay sighed.  “Me too.”

 

****

 

“Morning,” Brian said, opening his eyes to blue eyes staring back at him.

 

“Good afternoon,” Justin corrected with a smile.  They exchanged a quick kiss then laid in each other’s arms quietly for a while.  Justin had almost fallen asleep when he felt Brian rub his arm.  Propping himself up, he looked down on his lover.  “Hmm?”

 

“We need to talk,” Brian began.  There was a part of him that wanted to stay silent and keep things as they were, but he knew that Justin could only take so much before he broke down.  If there was ever going to be a ‘them’, they had to talk…no matter how much he hated to do it.  

 

“If you remember the last time we did…”

 

“Yeah,” Brian sighed.  He remembered.  

 

Brian also remembered what set it all off and he couldn’t help but blame himself for that one.  He should have said something, but he just couldn’t.  In his mind he had given so much to Justin, but the younger man never seemed to notice.  He wasn’t sure if it was because of Justin’s inexperience or maybe he wasn’t as easy to read as he thought he was, but there was definitely a break down in communication in their relationship…if there had been any real communication between them in the first place.  

 

“You want to go back to the way things were?”  Brian asked, though he already knew the answer.

 

“No.”

 

“Then we have to talk,” Brian replied, kissing Justin softly.  

 

In their last few meetings, Justin had put his feelings on the table.  Brian thought it was time he gave something back so, the night before, he did.  His declaration of love was the most anyone had gotten out of him ever and it made him feel more vulnerable than he ever had…well, not including the night he had allowed Justin to make love to him.  

 

“First,” Brian began.  “Things don’t always work the way you want them to…so, if something doesn’t go your way…you just can’t up and leave.  It doesn’t work like that.”

 

“Brian, I-”

 

“Let me finish this,” Brian interrupted, grabbing onto Justin.  He hoped Justin wouldn’t take it the wrong way, but then it would tell him all he needed to know if the younger man did.  He waited a moment until he saw that Justin had no intention of interrupting him, and then continued.  “I figure we’ll fuck up a few more times, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t make it.  Because if you leave me again…”

 

Justin lay on Brian’s chest, waiting for his lover to finish.  When it was clear that Brian wasn’t going to continue, Justin slowly said, “I want us to work out.”

 

“But…”

 

“No buts, Brian,” Justin replied.  “I just have to ask you something.”  

 

Brian knew what was coming and although he wanted to lie, he just couldn’t.  

 

“Are you going to stop tricking?”

 

Brian closed his eyes and sighed.  He felt so connected to Justin at that moment and prayed Justin would ask the right question, because that wasn’t the right question.  In fact, Brian didn’t even know how to begin to answer the question Justin had asked.  He wasn’t sure he could.  

 

Justin watched Brian’s expression and wanted to cry.  When he saw Brian close his eyes, he just knew he had his answer.  He wanted to get out of the bed and scream at Brian.  Ask Brian why he couldn’t stop fucking every man that walked and some that didn’t.  Then like a cartoon anvil falling from the sky it hit him.  Brian loved him.  Brian wouldn’t say he loved him, if he wasn’t going to try and salvage their relationship.  What Justin needed was a new approach.

 

“You’re not answering,” Justin said, sitting up so that he looked down on Brian lying in the bed.  “Which means…I asked you a question you don’t have an answer to.”  When Brian opened his eyes, Justin saw that he was on the right track.  Mentally, he jumped up and down for joy, though he kept his composure.  He took Brian’s hand in his own and intertwined their fingers.  “Alright…how about this?  Can you stop tricking?”

 

Brian sighed relieved, but he found the answer was just as difficult to say as not saying anything at all.  “I’m not sure.”

 

Justin’s heart fell, but he wasn’t about to give up.  He had to remind himself not to get upset.  He told himself that Brian was being honest and that even though he didn’t like what Brian was saying, it wasn’t the end of the world.  This was just another obstacle and together they could defeat any problem that came their way.  What choice did they have?  Being apart?  To Justin, that was no longer an option.  

 

“So, stopping cold turkey is out of the question,” Justin said calmly.  “Do you think they have a 12-step program for this?  How about Sexaholics anonymous?”

 

“Justin…”

 

“I guess that’s a no,” Justin sighed, trying to think of another way to solve their problem.  “I can’t do this by myself, you know.  We have to work at this together, or it’s not going to work at all.”

 

“I’m trying,” Brian admitted.  

 

Brian looked worried and normally that would have scared Justin, but today was a new day.  Brian loved him and, to him, half the war had already been won.  They only had a few more battles to fight so that they could begin to live the rest of their life together.  Of course they’d have their fair share of skirmishes, of that he was sure, but as long as he knew Brian loved him, Justin wasn’t about to let him go.

 

“How about this…” Justin began.  “None of those stupid rules.  You and I are a couple, which means that we do things as a couple, or we don’t do them at all.  No more lone tricks.  No more surprises when I come here.  That also means that if I feel like being a selfish bastard and I don’t want to share you, you don’t get to be pissed and go out fucking.”  Justin waited for Brian’s reaction and when he saw that the other man wasn’t repulsed by the idea, he continued.  “But, that doesn’t mean that I always want to be like this.  Brian, I want to be with you and only you.  This is…I dunno…like methadone.  Until you can quit your nasty habit, you get a weak dose until you’re free from addiction.  And I’ll stand by you and support you until we get past this.”

 

Brian squeezed Justin’s hand and softly agreed.  It was more than he had expected Justin to give and he was ecstatic though, by his outward appearance, it was hard to tell.  

 

“If this doesn’t seem like its working and you get a twitch in your dick, I’d rather you talk to me about it first,” Justin added.  “Because we can work anything out if we at least try.”

 

“Same for you,” Brian said.  He gave Justin a look, which he knew the blond would understand. Brian wasn’t the one who cheated on him, that was all Justin.

 

“Same goes for me,” Justin replied, knowing exactly what Brian was talking about.  Feeling ashamed, he felt the need to say more.  “If I feel that you’re not showing me enough attention, I’m not going to complain to someone else…or go to anyone else.  I’m going to tell you…whether you want to hear it or not.  I don’t care how weak it makes me look in front of you…”

 

“You’re the strongest person I know,” Brian said, not knowing exactly where that statement came from.  But, his response was immediate and he meant every word he said.  He sat up so that he could sit face to face with his lover and kissed Justin’s hand, which was still intertwined with his own.  “And coming to me- _for anything_ , isn’t weak.  You’re supposed to come to me.”

 

“It’s hard to tell, Brian,” Justin admitted, feeling vulnerable.  “I can’t read your mind and sometimes I think you just expect me to know how you feel.  I don’t.  Maybe sometimes I do, but how am I supposed to know what’s going on with you unless you tell me?”

 

“I’ll try harder,” Brian told him.  “It’s just not that easy.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Justin replied with a smile.  “But, we can do this.”

 

“We better.”

 

“We are,” Justin said, hugging Brian.

 

“I have to ask you something,” Brian said, not really wanting to hear the answer.  He knew what he was going to hear and it was bothering him.  He had already thought of a solution, but that was something he didn’t want to consider unless he really had to.  “Are you going to move back in?”

 

The second Justin looked away, Brian had his answer.  It was one of those things he had to come to terms with the second he decided to run down those stairs for Justin.  It wasn’t that he hadn’t been considering a move (mostly just to shut up Lindsay and Melanie), but he didn’t like change.  

 

Brian took a deep breath, stood up and walked into the other room.  Justin didn’t follow him nor did the younger man speak, so he didn’t think anything of it.  He went to his desk, picked up several folders and walked back into the bedroom where he saw Justin sitting on the bed crying silently.  

 

Brian sat on the bed and kissed Justin.  Brian saw the confused look on Justin’s face then handed him the folders in his hand.  

 

“You know, your silence kills me,” Justin whispered, wiping his tears away.

 

Brian apologized by hugging Justin, promising the younger man that he’d work on that.  “I just wanted you to see these.”

 

Justin flipped through the pages of the folders.    “They’re house listings.”

 

“Gus needs his own room,” Brian said, picking out the house he liked best and showing it to Justin.  “And, I guess, we need a new home.”

 

“I can’t afford to help you buy a house, Brian.”

 

“I guess this would be that spunky part my mom picked up on,” Brian sighed.  His first reaction was to snatch the papers back, but he reminded himself that he was supposed to be trying.  “Are you my partner?”

 

“Partner?”  Justin replied, his face shocked and giddy at the same time.

 

“Justin-”

 

“Yeah, _partner_ ,” Justin repeated, stopping himself from jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas morning.  

 

“I can’t put a price on what you give me, Justin,” Brian said.  He didn’t look Justin in the eyes, but it was easier to say that way.  Not that anything he was about to say was easy.  In fact, it was just as hard to say as those three little words.  “And honestly, money doesn’t mean shit…not without you.”

 

Justin grabbed onto Brian and hugged him.  “When are we moving?”

 

“We’ll go look at some places as soon as possible,” Brian replied.  “It’ll probably be a couple of months at the earliest.”

 

“Months?”  Justin asked, his mind filling with all the problems that could go wrong in a month.  When he thought of trouble, there was only one thing that came to mind.  “First things first…Ty.”

 

“I already kicked him out.”

 

“When?”

 

“After you left yesterday,” Brian answered.  

 

“You did?”  Justin asked, kissing Brian sweetly on the lips.  “When you did, did he land on his ass?”

 

“Well, he wasn’t happy,” Brian admitted.  Not that he cared, but it was the truth.  

 

“Good,” Justin giggled.  “I’m so glad I don’t have to work with that little shit anymore.”

 

“That’s right,” Brian recalled.  “You quit your job at the diner…where are you working?”

 

“At Ted’s.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Helping with his site graphics, layout and other computer shit like that,” Justin said before Brian could assume the worst…not that he hadn’t already.  “Not in any way, shape or form in front of the camera.  Ted said he would never want me in front of the camera…not that I wasn’t cute enough, but because I was too good for that.”

 

“He’s right,” Brian replied, suddenly feeling like a weight had been lifted off of him.  “Unless it’s our tape…but I still don’t think it’s a good idea for you to work there.”

 

“Why?”  Justin asked. 

 

“I just think it’s a bad idea.”

 

“You don’t trust me.”

 

“I trust you.”  Brian stared into Justin’s eyes so that the younger man completely understood what he was saying and that he meant every word.  “I have to.”

 

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes and sighed.  Compromise.  Without another word, Justin picked up the phone and called a number.  “Hey, Deb.  No, I decided not to go. No, nothing’s wrong, well, it is, but I hope it’s something you can help with.  I need a job.  Well, I need my old job, if you haven’t gotten someone else.  Great.  When?  No, no, that’s not a problem, I’ll be at work later then.  Thanks.  Bye.”

 

“Gonna call Ted?”

 

“I kinda wanna tell him in person,” Justin answered.  “So he understands why.”

 

“He won’t,” Brian replied.  “And I don’t think you should explain it to him.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I think we should spend some time working on us before we inform the masses.”

 

Justin didn’t want to, but he had to admit that it was a good idea.  He wanted to scream to the world that Brian loved him, though he knew better.  That was between them.  “How long?”

 

“When we move in together again, I’m sure they’ll get a clue,” Brian guessed.  “Are you OK with that?”

 

“A secret love affair,” Justin said which instantly made him feel a lot better. “The only problem with that is that I can’t shove it down Ty’s throat.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll find another way to torture him,” Brian laughed.

 

Justin and Brian laughed.  They hugged and kissed a bit until Justin replied, “I think I can come up with something.”

 

**** 

 

“I can’t believe he’d do that to us,” Michael complained.  

 

“It surprises you that Brian’s an asshole?”  Vic asked, while he restocked the shelves of the comic book store.  

 

“He knows how much I hate Ty,” Michael said.  

 

“I think you’d be happy that Brian kicked Ty out of his loft,” Emmett replied.  

 

Emmett knew Michael wasn’t pleased with him either since he was the one who promised Ty a place to stay until he found a more permanent home.  He also knew that although Ty was a pain, he had nowhere else to go, except back to his ex-boyfriend.  Even the thought of Ty walking back into a place where he’d most definitely be abused seemed unacceptable.  He wondered why Ty would put himself in such a situation.  The blond was smarter than he let on, so he guessed it had to do with the lack of choices.  So, Em decided to give him another choice and was happy that Ty took it and stayed with him and Michael.  The price for his good heart?  Listening to Michael whine.

 

“It’s a step in the right direction,” Michael continued, “but, I don’t know why that brat has to stay at our place.  I know a few good dumpsters that would be better suited for him.”

 

“Michael,” Vic warned.  

 

“Fine,” Michael huffed.  “You know, I could be in Las Vegas right now.  Jimmy said he’d even pay my way.”

 

“Its torture having a boyfriend,” Vic told him.

 

“He knows about Ben,” Michael said, slumping in his seat behind the counter.  He smiled at the thought of Jimmy’s sweet words.  “He said that he knew I couldn’t go, but wanted to ask just in case.”

 

“You should have taken him up on the offer,” Vic replied a little jealous.  What he wouldn’t do for some muscle bound man to whisk him away on a vacation to Sin City.  “Then told Ben that you were going with Justin and some of his friends.”

 

“Vic!” Em said, feigning shock.   

 

“What?”  Vic chuckled.  “It’s not a lie.”

 

“Ben knows about Jimmy,” Michael sighed.  

 

In fact, Michael had even brought up Jimmy’s offer, though the look on Ben’s face told him all he needed to know.  He quickly assured Ben he declined the offer and it seemed to make his lover feel better.  Well, mentally, since Ben was still feeling nauseated.  It didn’t help that Ben’s T-cell counts dropped again.  He was, however, glad Ben seemed focused on his job instead of dwelling on things that neither of them could do anything about.  

 

“Ben also knows I love him,” Michael continued.  “And that I’d never cheat on him.  But there’s no way in hell I’m running to Las Vegas while he’s here with bad case of the runs.”

 

“That’s a lovely picture,” Em laughed.

 

“I’m jealous of Justin,” Vic said.  “He’s in Las Vegas living the good life while we’re here working.  I mean Nicky’s a hot little number.  How does he do it?”

 

“It’s the bubble butt,” Em replied.  Ignoring the front door bell, he stood up and tried the best he could to look at his posterior without a mirror’s assistance.  “Not that mine is terrible, but if it were just a little plumper…”

 

“I like it just the way it is,” Brook said, as he walked into the shop.  In his hand was a single red rose which he handed to Emmett.  “I’m sorry for anything I said.  Can we just kiss and make up?”

 

Without one word, Emmett wrapped his arms around Brook’s shoulders and kissed him, much to Michael’s dismay.  

 

“Things just keep getting worse and worse around here,” Michael said, loudly.  He wanted to make sure Brook knew exactly what he was talking about.  His point was about to be proven when Ted walked through the door, only the porn king didn’t have the reaction Michael had been expecting.      

 

“Hey,” Ted said, patting Emmett on the back happily as he walked passed him.  Ted walked right over to Michael and turned to Vic when he announced, “You won’t believe what just happened.  I get a call from this guy who wants to buy my site and you wouldn’t believe the numbers he was talking about.  I’m thinking about selling it then starting up another one.”

 

“That’s great,” Vic told him.

 

“You know what’s even better?”  Ted asked, getting everyone’s attention.  His giddiness was infectious and he had every one of his friends smiling, even Brook.  “Justin’s going to help me set up the new site using graphics he created.  I’m going to have the best site out there!”

 

“So, Justin’s working for you, the diner, going to school and babysitting Gus at once?”  Vic asked.

 

“Poor baby,” Em said, still holding onto Brook.  “He’s already working too much.  He’ll be too tired.”

 

“He quit the diner,” Ted replied.

 

“You do know that Justin’s in Las Vegas right now with Nicky don’t you?”  Em asked.  He exchanged looks with Michael and was happy he saw his roommate was thinking the same thing.  

 

“Sure I do,” Ted said.  “I talked to Justin on the phone yesterday and he told me he just needed some R&R.  He even told me that he doesn’t love Nicky.”

 

“It looks like you two are getting awfully close,” Em observed.  

 

“He’s a good friend,” Ted stated, allowing Emmett to take it anyway he wanted.  

 

“Well, I’m hungry,” Brook announced, not worried about Ted and Justin’s relationship one bit.  He turned to Emmett and remembered the reason for his visit in the first place.  “How about we get some lunch?  Then we can talk about how my bitch wife wants to hire you to help throw our little house warming party?”

 

“She does?!”

 

“She does,” Brook told him.  

 

“When does she want to throw it?”  Emmett asked.

 

“Two weeks,” Brook said, knowing that Emmett would freak.  “But, it’s not a big thing.  In fact, it’ll probably be just the gang and a few people from her job.”

 

“There’s so much to do!  So many things to plan,” Emmett replied, his mind already thinking of themes for the party.

 

“Well, let’s think about it while we eat,” Brook reminded him.  “I’m hungry.”

 

****

 

Melanie pounded on the door for 5 minutes.  She knew Brian was inside, since she saw his jeep parked in the front of his building.  When Brian finally opened the door, she stormed in, pushing past him and began her tirade.

 

“You selfish son of a bitch!”  Mel began, turning to look at Brian who stood at his door.  He didn’t bother to close it, but it didn’t bother Melanie.  She was going to give him a piece of her mind no matter who listened in.  “Why can’t you, for once, think about something other than your dick!”

 

“Mel-”

 

“You promised, **_promised_** , to come first thing in the morning to talk about Gus and where are you?  Fucking!  Not that I should be surprised!”

 

“Can you lower your fucking voice?”

 

“I will not!” Mel screamed.  “Ty can get his weasely fucking ass up for all I care!”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Fuck you, Brian, the world doesn’t revolve around you!”  Mel yelled.  “And it especially doesn’t revolve around that little makeshift Justin you found!”

 

“Get out,” Brian said harshly.

 

“You’re going to listen to everything I have to say,” Mel replied, her voice only subdued a bit.  “First things first, I do not want Ty anywhere near Gus!  You and I know what that guy’s up to and everyone knows what you’re up to.  Just in case you haven’t figured it out…a million Ty’s aren’t going to replace Justin.  And even though Justin can’t see it, everyone else knows how much you love him…even though you don’t deserve him!”

 

While Mel was taking a breath, Brian made one last half hearted plea for her to shut up.  He looked over at Justin, who stood on the stairs to the bedroom, and rolled his eyes.

 

“Mel, I don’t mean to be rude or anything,” Justin said, before the woman could continue with her rant.  “But, I just wanted to tell you I can baby-sit Gus this weekend since I didn’t go to Las Vegas.”

 

Melanie turned around and saw Justin standing with only a sheet covering the lower part of his body.  He looked like he had just woken up.  Then it dawned on her that she was the one who woke him up.

 

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry!”  Mel said, shocked.  

 

Melanie glanced at Brian, who looked smugger than ever, but she didn’t mind.  In fact, she was embarrassed.   She put her hand to her chest, because it felt like her heart was going to jump right out.  Half gasping, half laughing, she rushed over to Justin and gave him a hug.  

 

“You two are…”

 

“Working things out as we speak,” Justin finished.  He glanced over at Brian and added, “We were kinda hoping to work on us before we announce it to the gang.”

 

“Oh!”  Mel giggled, looking back at Brian who stood there shaking his head in mock disgust.  “Of course, I won’t say a thing.”  She turned back to Justin and hugged him one more time.  “And I’m leaving,” she said backing away.  She almost bumped into Brian on her way out, but she left as quickly as she came.  

 

“I give an hour,” Brian said, closing the loft door.  “Maybe two before she sees Linds and spills the beans.”

 

Justin dropped the sheet on the floor and walked naked to Brian, holding him close.  “They’ll keep it a secret,” Justin reasoned.  He couldn’t blame Mel for saying anything to Lindsay, but he hoped (for Brian’s sake) that they wouldn’t let it get any further.  After exchanging a few more kisses, he reminded Brian.  “I should be up anyway.  I have to go to work.”

 

“Fuck,” Brian sighed, holding onto Justin and not letting him go.  

 

“It’s only a four hour shift,” Justin said between kisses. “I’ll come back afterwards if you want.”

 

“I always want,” Brian replied.  “I’m greedy like that.”

 

“I love you.”

 

When Brian didn’t immediately respond, Justin’s heart fell.  He hugged Brian closer and sighed, wondering what it was going to take to get Brian to keep his heart open for more than two seconds.  His first instinct was to confront Brian, asking him why he couldn’t say those words when he had said them only the day before.  Why was it so hard? But, then it hit Justin.  A different approach worked the last time; hopefully it would work this time too.

 

Justin looked into Brian eyes and kissed him one more time before saying, “You love me.”

 

“You know I do,” Brian replied.

 

Justin smiled.  “We’re going to have to work on this too.”

 

“What can I say?  I’m a work in progress.”

 

****

     

Lindsay picked up the phone and dialed Dani’s job. She had tried to contact her old friend at home and then on her cell, but came up empty.  

 

“Morgan.”

 

“Dani, it’s me,” Linds said, happy that she had finally been able to contact her.  

 

“Yeah?”  Dani replied, obviously not as happy to hear from Linds as Linds was to talk to her.  “I’m pretty busy.”

 

“I know, working on Saturday,” Linds began.  When she heard Dani sigh on the other end of the phone, she knew she’d better cut to the chase.  Their last encounter hadn’t ended very well and she wanted to make up for it.  “I was just calling to say I’m sorry and that if you needed any help with your housewarming party, I’m your gal.”

 

“Thanks,” Dani answered, though it sounded like she wasn’t impressed by the offer.  “But, I’ve already arranged for someone to take care of everything.”

 

“Maybe I can help with something,” Linds suggested.

 

“Nope,” Dani replied.  Her voice was harsh and it unsettled Lindsay.  

 

“Are you sure?”  Linds asked, sounding a little needier than one would expect.

 

“I’m sure,” Dani answered.  “And I know what you’re doing.  I’m a pretty good lawyer or so I’ve been told.  So, may I suggest you just be honest with Mel…cause I’m not going to help you cover up any of your bullshit lies.”

 

Linds was about to tell Dani how wrong she was when her first love hung up the phone on her.  She told herself again that Dani was wrong, but what was the point?  Lindsay knew the truth.

 

****   

 

No matter what he did, Justin couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face.  He was glad that neither Debbie nor Ty were working, because he had no idea how he would try to explain his good mood considering he was working instead of vacationing in Las Vegas.  He thought that he’d be caught when Emmett and Brook came waltzing in, but they were more preoccupied with party themes than his mood.  

 

“I was thinking that we could go with a Latin theme,” Em said, not bothering to look at the menu Justin put before him.  “We could have enchiladas and burritos for food and everyone could dress up with sombreros…”

 

“Is this for Dani’s party?”  Justin asked, putting away his notepad.  

 

“Yeah,” Brook answered, winking at the blond.  “Can you get me a vanilla shake and a BLT?”

 

“Sure,” Justin replied, wishing Brook would have saved the little gestures. Brian’s old friend gave him the creeps.

 

As Justin walked away, Michael and Ted came into the diner and sat at Emmett and Brook’s table.  After Justin placed Brook’s order with the chef, he went to the other men to ask them what they wanted.  

 

“Ty out of my life and my apartment,” Michael replied.

 

“I meant to eat,” Justin giggled.

 

“I know,” Michael said.  “But, I thought you were supposed to be in sunny Las Vegas.”

 

“Change of plans,” Justin replied.  He looked at Ted and thought there was no time like the present.  “In fact, I’ve got some bad news, Ted.”

 

“What?”

 

“I can’t work with you,” Justin answered.  When he saw the devastated look on Ted’s face, his heart broke.  But, what was he supposed to do?  Given his choices, well, there really wasn’t a choice.  Between Brian and Ted, there was no decision to make.  Brian would always come first.  

 

“Why?”  Ted asked in total shock.  

 

“I can’t explain why just yet,” Justin said, knowing it wouldn’t be enough, but not able to do anything about it.  He had promised Brian that their relationship would be a secret and there was no way in this world that he’d jeopardize their relationship again.  “I’m really, really, sorry Ted, but I just can’t do it.  I hope you understand…”

 

Ted wanted to argue, but the look on Justin’s face made him think otherwise.  He figured Justin had a good excuse and that they’d discuss it later in private.  Then something in the back of his mind had an idea.  Maybe Justin didn’t want to work with him because working with someone you were dating was a bad idea.  Maybe.  He smiled at the thought and looked into Justin’s eyes, hoping his answers were there.  “That’s OK, I’m sure you have a good reason.”

 

“You’re the best,” Justin replied with a smile.  He leaned down and hugged Ted as Brook and the others watched.  “So, you guys ready to order?”

 

The guys wanted more time to contemplate their order, although they already knew what was on the menu.  When the guys were finally ready, Justin took the orders then served them when their meals were ready.  Justin, for the most part, kept busy, glad that no one noticed the smile that never left his face.  Although he saw Michael looking at him strangely, Ted just smiled back at him while Em and Brook talked about the party arrangements.  

 

Justin looked at the clock on the wall and saw he only had twenty minutes until his shift was over.  Although it was only a four hour shift, it seemed to last forever.  Probably because it was keeping him from Brian, but it didn’t matter.  Twenty more minutes and he’d be on his way to the loft and in the arms of the man he loved.  He giggled at the thought. The man that loved him back.  Justin walked back to the guys’ table and asked them if they wanted any dessert.

 

“I’ll have whatever you’re on,” Michael said.  He saw Justin’s mood and wondered why he’d be so happy working instead of being in Las Vegas.  “Morphine maybe?”

 

“No,” Justin giggled, remembering his earlier conversation with Brian.  

 

“You’re happy Brian kicked out Ty aren’t you?”  Michael assumed.  Even the thought of Justin being happy about that made him happy.  The closer Brian got with Justin, the further Ty would be from his life.  

 

“It doesn’t matter since I see enough of Ty here,” Justin lied, though there was a tiny bit of truth to his words.

 

“Yeah, I can’t wait for him to-Brian!” Michael stopped mid sentence when his best friend walked in the diner. 

 

However, instead of sitting next to Michael, Brian took the seat next to Brook and Emmett.  He wasn’t expecting the guys to be there.  He had hoped that they would have a life and be somewhere else.

 

“What are you doing here?”  Ted asked, his mood darkening the second the ad partner stepped into the diner.  

 

“This would be a diner,” Brian explained slowly, as if Ted were a two year old.  “I’m here to eat.”  

 

When Brian walked in the diner he immediately saw the silly grin on Justin’s face and knew it had been a bad idea to come.  However, all wasn’t lost and he tried to play it off the best he could, though he knew he had to do it with the least amount of eye contact with Justin as possible.  His partner’s giddiness was making his heart skip and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep up the pretense.  “I’m starving.  I could eat a horse.”

 

“Me too,” Justin said, hoping Brian would get the hint.

 

“Then why don’t you take a seat next to me and order something for yourself,” Ted suggested.

 

Justin giggled then looked at Brian, who was staring at Ted like the former accountant had lost his mind.  Brian was about to lose his composure.  Justin glanced from Michael, who seemed curious, to Ted then answered, “Eat here?  Please, I’d rather eat spiders.”

 

Justin saw that another customer needed his attention then excused himself to attend to him.  He was happy for the break, because he didn’t know how much longer he could be around Brian and not touch him.  When he came back, he asked Brian what he wanted to eat.

 

“I’ll have a piece of chocolate cake,” Brook answered, before Brian had a chance to say anything.

 

“Me too, that sounds good,” Emmett agreed.

 

“A cup of coffee,” Brian answered, not knowing how exactly he was going to explain the change in his appetite.

 

“I thought you said you were starving,” Michael said with a smile. 

 

“I decided I have no desire to eat an entire lunch here,” Brian lied.  “I was thinking maybe…Chinese.”

 

“Chinese,” Justin repeated, nodding his head.  “Anything’s better than eating here.”

 

“Thank God you didn’t order yet,” Michael said sarcastically.  He stared at Brian, his smile never wavering.

 

Justin walked away before his face gave away any more than it already had.  He wondered what Brian was thinking coming here, and then remembered how much he wanted to see his lover.  He felt giddy thinking that Brian probably missed him as much as he missed Brian.  He brought Emmett and Brook’s pieces of cake first, just so that it didn’t seem like he was rushing Brian’s order.  When he did, he saw that Brian wasn’t lying about one thing…he looked like he was starving then remembered that neither of them had eaten all day.  They made love and talked, but that was pretty much it.  Not that he minded, but sooner or later, they’d have to eat.  

 

Justin served Brian a cup of coffee and brought along a doughnut just to tide the other man over.  Brian smiled and starting eating without a word.  Even though he couldn’t see Michael, he felt his best friend staring at him and knew there was a silly grin on his face.  Brian knew Michael better than Michael knew himself and he knew he and Justin had been caught.  

 

Brian ate his doughnut with his coffee ignoring the looks both Ted and Michael were giving him.  He glanced at his watch and saw that it was almost time for Justin’s shift to end.  He heard Ty enter the diner loudly announcing his arrival, but he ignored his former lover.  He had made up his mind and when Brian Kinney made up his mind, there was no turning back.

 

Brian placed a few dollars on the table and stood up.  He made eye contact with each person at the table, and then he turned his attention to Ty.  “You taking over Justin’s shift?”

 

“Yeah,” Ty replied, wondering what that had to do with anything.  

 

“Good,” Brian replied, looking at Justin, who was taking off his apron.  “Let’s go home.”

 

Justin tossed his apron aside and jumped into Brian’s arms before anyone had a response to Brian’s announcement.  He knew it wasn’t the same as Brian declaring his undying love in front of everyone, but it wasn’t like the gang didn’t know what it took for Brian to get Justin back.  The look on Ty’s face showed that even his clone understood.

 

Brian kissed Justin, ignoring the snickers and shocked looks from the guys.  He rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around Justin.  “Ready?”

 

“You think we could stop at my place and get some of my stuff?”  Justin asked.

 

“As much as we can fit in the jeep,” Brian replied, kissing Justin softly.  

 

Brian could only imagine the looks on everyone’s face, but he didn’t bother to check.  

 

One could only imagine the thoughts in the minds of Michael, Emmett, Brook, Ty _and_ Ted.  


	14. Change

Michael put away the dishes in Ben’s apartment while his boyfriend read a newspaper. After completing his task, he hummed a song as he found another chore to do. He was happy and it showed as he began mopping the kitchen floor without being asked.   
  
“If you want, you can go outside and wash my car,” Ben chuckled. “Or you can balance my checkbook…”  
  
“I’m not so sure you want me touching your checkbook,” Michael said, eyes sparkling. “Although, I can touch something else if you want…”  
  
“So tempting,” Ben purred. “But…”  
  
“Still not feeling well, honey?” Michael asked, putting down the mop and walking over to his boyfriend. He sat next to Ben and took his lover’s hand. “I can make you something to eat, if you want?”  
  
“Naw,” Ben replied. “I’m just a little tired, that’s all. But, seeing you this happy is making me feel a whole lot better.”  
  
“Well, since Ty’s officially out of my apartment, I’m going to be a whole lot happier from now on,” Michael admitted. “All I have to worry about is Em…”  
  
“Baby…”  
  
Michael was trying to avoid the topic of Emmett and Brook. Of all the things that were going on in his life, _that_ relationship seemed to get to him the most…and that’s including his mother’s engagement with Carl.   
  
There was only one thing that Michael knew: Brook could not be trusted. He especially hated it when people compared Brook to Brian because, in his opinion, they were nothing alike. While Brian had always been commitment phobic (although that was diminishing), Brook seemed to commit to any and every guy he hooked up with. After considering the options, Michael would take Brian’s truths, however blunt they were, over Brook’s lies. Too bad he couldn’t get Emmett to see it.   
  
Michael supposed that Em knew exactly what he was getting into with Brook. The man had appeal and seemed to say the right things at the right time, but it was just smoke and mirrors. Brook was screwing half of Liberty Avenue and was trying to dethrone Brian as its king and, in the comic store owner’s opinion, he was doing a fine job of it, although it helped Brook’s cause that Brian didn’t seem to be fighting it. Michael just wished Emmett would take off his rose colored glasses and take a long hard look at the man he was dating.  
  
“Your smile is fading,” Ben noted as he watched Michael think. He kissed Michael’s hand and sighed. “You do know Emmett’s a big boy, don’t you?”  
  
“He doesn’t even believe me,” Michael pouted. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell him that Brook’s fucked more guys than Brian…since his return.”  
  
“What else can you tell him then?”  
  
“I dunno,” Michael admitted. “Though I was thinking about asking Brian-”  
  
“Michael,” Ben warned.  
  
“Brian and Brook are friends,” Michael explained. “If Bri told Em that he’s gone out tricking with Brook while they were together, maybe Em will finally get the picture.”  
  
“Yeah and Emmett’s really going to listen to Brian…”  
  
“He might,” Michael said. “He knows Brian wouldn’t lie.”  
  
“What if it doesn’t make a difference?” Ben asked. “And though even I have to admit that Brook’s a slouch, maybe Emmett doesn’t want to see it, because Emmett’s in love with him.”  
  
“What if _you_ talked to Em?”  
  


 “And say what?” Ben sighed, grabbing Michael before his boyfriend had a chance to walk away. “’Hey, Em, did you know Brook’s fucked more guys than Brian and George Michael…combined?’”  
  
“It’d be a start,” Michael replied, sinking into his lover’s arms. “Do you know, like two seconds ago I was in a good mood?”  
  
“Let’s see if I can change that…” Ben kissed Michael and though he got a smile, it was nothing compared to the glow his lover had only a few moments before their ‘Brook’ discussion. “How about this? Ty moved out of your place this morning.”  
  
A grin that would make a Cheshire cat jealous spread across Michael’s face.   
  
“I can’t believe Brian and Justin are back together,” Michael said, happy once again. “And I can’t believe I want them back together.”  
  
“Why?” Ben asked. “You and Justin seemed to get along just fine.”  
  
“You weren’t around when he first stole my ride home,” Michael recalled. “Brian was supposed to take me and Em home, but the second he saw Justin it was “Later” for us. Justin wouldn’t take no for an answer and the rest is history…in the making. I tried just about everything to get rid of him, but somehow those two ended up together again and again.”  
  
“Do I sense a little bitterness there?”  
  
“Not anymore, but I had more than I could handle at one point,” Michael admitted. “I used to love Brian…I mean in love, love, not like now. Now, if he kissed me, it would be like kissing Ted or Vic. I was so jealous of Justin ‘cause he seemed to get everything I wanted. I just didn’t know I didn’t need it. Brian needs someone to grow with him and I just want to be in an adult relationship now…with a sexy man who loves me and who doesn’t need to fuck half the East Coast.”  
  
“Yeah,” Ben sighed ominously, holding Michael close.  
  
“I almost can’t remember how it felt to love Brian like that,” Michael confessed, “now that I love you. And I do love you, Ben.”  
  
****   
  
Jennifer opened up the lock box of a large home on the outskirts of Pittsburgh. The neighborhood was in an upper class area not too far from where Justin had grown up for most of his life. In fact, the area was considered elite even by the “country club” standards Justin often spoke of.   
  
Although it was in the suburbs, it was only a short drive from the heart of Liberty Avenue.  Brian knew that he had to move.  He was a realistic man, and he wasn't sure how well he and his young lover would be accepted in their new community. He smiled at Jennifer as she opened up the home and presented it.  
  
“OK, let me give you my spiel,” Jennifer said proudly. “This beautiful 4500 square foot Herbert Built custom Colonial is situated on a lovely level landscaped one acre lot in Grey Oaks in Franklin Park. It features a Governor's drive and a three car attached side-entry garage. As you can see, you are greeted by a 2-story foyer with crown molding, hardwood floors and Palladian window. The handsome first floor study/den is fully paneled with maple finish quality custom cabinetry/bookcase, glass door and box beam ceiling.  
  
“There is a laundry/mudroom with access to the backyard, which adjoins the well-designed stainless steel and corian kitchen with center island, dual convection oven, hardwood floors, pantry and bright bayed breakfast nook open to the level back deck area, which I know you two won’t use, but that’s besides the point…”  
  
“Ma,” Justin sighed. “I’m planning on keeping my man fully fed.”  
  
“Maybe then you can put some meat on his bones,” Jennifer replied. “He’s just too skinny. He needs to eat more.”  
  
“I know,” Justin agreed.   
  
“Am I not standing right here?” Brian asked, bemused.  
  
“Oh, the kitchen also opens to the spacious family room with hardwood floors and gorgeous ceiling to floor brick fireplace with raised hearth,” Jennifer said, ignoring Brian, while pulling Justin to the family room. “The formal dining room with this beautiful handcrafted chair rail and formal living room both feature double tray ceilings and custom crown molding. Even the basement has a huge area, which can be made into a bedroom or living room which comes complete with full bath and fireplace.   
  
“Wait until you see the second floor,” Jennifer said, pulling her son upstairs, while Brian tagged along behind. She cleared her throat and began her shtick once again. “As you can see, the second floor landing is open to the downstairs foyer and connects the home's 5 bedrooms. Which includes the fabulous master suite with tray ceiling, two his and his walk-in closets, a luxurious vaulted ceiling master bath with imported Italian tile floor, whirlpool, his and his vanities, glass shower (cause I know how much you like those, Brian) and separate bathroom. A guest bedroom features its own walk-in closet and separate bath which would be a perfect room for Gus, because you can just lock up the bathroom until he’s old enough to use it on his one. There’s also another full bath on the second floor, which is a jack and jack with a his and his vanity separated by a window seat.”  
  
“I like how open it is,” Justin replied in awe. “Brian, don’t you just love how open everything is?”  
  
“It’s better than any of that shit Linds was trying to pawn off on me,” Brian said, though it was obvious he was impressed.  
  
“Look,” Jennifer said, pointing to an open area in the master bedroom. “You can see into your family room from here. I thought that it would be nice, because you can check on Gus if he’s playing or watching TV. Or you can even stand inside your bedroom and watch the sunset through the bay windows.”  
  


“This is so beautiful,” Justin said, holding Brian’s hand. “Don’t you think?”   
  
Although Brian said nothing, it was clear that he felt the same.   
  
“And the best part of this place is that it’s already vacant,” Jennifer said, as she opened the doors. “You two can move in as soon as we open escrow. You’ll have to pay the current owners rent, but that’s only until escrow closes.”  
  
“You’re pushing for me to move in with your son?” Brian asked, walking into the large tiled entryway. “What’s wrong with this picture?”  
  
“I’m just waiting for you to make an honest man out of my son,” Jennifer replied, which only made Brian roll his eyes and look in another direction. She followed the couple downstairs and simply waited as they absorbed the interior. However, she couldn’t wait to take them outside. The outside was every bit as impressive as the interior.   
  
“One step at a time, Mom,” Justin said. He looked around the entryway of the home in awe. It was larger than the home he grew up in. In fact, it was bigger than most he had visited in his youth. “Jeez, Bri, can you afford this?”  
  
“We,” Brian reminded.  
  
“Yeah, like my job at the diner’s really going to help pay for this place,” Justin replied.  
  
“I wouldn’t show it if it weren’t in your price range,” Jennifer assured her son. “Although, it’s on the very high end…but it seemed like the perfect place.”  
  
Brian and Justin walked through the dining room into the large kitchen. As Justin looked through the pantry and some of the cabinets, Brian wondered why he would need such a large kitchen…he wasn’t going to use it. Then when he saw Justin gasp at the Sub Zero refrigerator he had to smile. Justin had always been a pretty good cook.   
  
“Just love these old, Colonial homes,” Brian replied.  
  
“You two ready for the outside yet?” Jennifer asked impatiently.  
  
Justin grabbed his mother’s hand and they walked outside with Brian slowly following. Seeing his mother so excited was making Justin feel giddy. At first, he hadn’t said much to her about getting back together with Brian. He simply told her that Brian and he were working on their problems, emphasizing the fact that Brian had finally professed his love for him. So Justin had informed her that he and Brian were looking for a new place to live.  Justin told his mother he wasn’t willing to live in the loft anymore. A new start for the both of them. Justin knew that his mother, unlike his father, had always been a realist. He hoped that none of that would change and he was glad when it hadn’t. Jennifer just said that she’d start a search and asked her son what he and Brian were looking for in a home.   
  
For her part, Jennifer wasn’t entirely happy that Justin and Brian were a couple again. She still had believed that Brian was too old and even too immature for Justin until Justin told her that they were planning to move into a new place. A new place with a room for Gus when Brian’s son came to visit. Just hearing Justin so excited made her excited and she immediately began looking for listings with Brian’s picky tastes in mind. Although she feared that her son was walking back into the same bad relationship, she had to admit there was some change in Brian, however small. But, as a parent, she knew the talk of a room for Gus was a huge step. There was something about children that forced a person to grow up, whether they wanted to or not. It was showing on Brian already and purchasing a larger home for his son _and_ to save his relationship was just one of those ways.  
  
Brian sighed as Justin and Jennifer laughed, pointing at the spa that had a waterfall which fed into the large swimming pool. There were trees and grass and so many flowers, he just knew that besides that maid, he’d have to get a gardener. Not that he was about to say anything, he was already sold. He just figured he wanted Jennifer to earn her commission.   
  
“And you get a free membership to the country club…”  
  
“I’m sure they’ll accept us with open arms,” Brian sniped.   
  
“You don’t even play golf,” Justin reasoned. He looked around the resort like home in awe. “Are you sure you can afford it?”  
  
“We,” Brian told him once again. “Right, Jen?”  
  


“Justin, honey,” Jen told her son. “Brian and I have already discussed this and the house is going to be in you and Brian’s name.”  
  
“And no one’s asking me?” Justin asked. “How come no one’s talking to me about this?”  
  


“Because we knew you’d bitch about it until my ears bled,” Brian explained.  
  
“You’ve always been so independent,” Jennifer said, more tactfully. “But, what if something happens to Brian? You wouldn’t have any rights to your home or anything inside of it, but this way-”  
  
“I just can’t stand that no one feels the need to say anything to me!” Justin complained.  
  
“We’re saying something now, honey,” Jennifer replied.   
  
Jennifer saw the frustration on Brian’s face and knew that she had better find a way to calm her son before her son’s lover lost it himself, especially considering it was her idea. She just felt that if Justin and Brian were going to be in a relationship, it should be on a more equal basis than it had been before. The loft Brian lived in was his in all its entirety and even when Justin lived there, everything about it was still all Brian. This new home should be different. She and Brian agreed on that much.   
  
“I just resent being the last to know-”  
  
“Can you shut up for two seconds?” Jennifer snapped. She looked at Brian, a little amazed by her own outburst, but felt a jolt of confidence when her son’s lover smiled. “Are you and Brian partners or not?”  
  
Justin glanced at Brian and saw that his face was blank. He turned back to his mother then answered, “Yeah…”  
  
“So, what’s the big deal,” Jennifer sighed, exasperated. “When your father and I just started out, do you think my name was on that mortgage? You bet it was. And you know what? There wasn’t a question about it, because we were partners.” She waited for the concept to sink into her son’s thick skull and then continued. “When I was with your father, I didn’t have a job. I was a housewife, but if you think for one second I didn’t deserve to own a part of that house or buy what I wanted, you’d be mistaken, young man.”  
  
“Mom…”  
  
“Do you understand me?” Jen asked. When Justin said that he did, she turned to Brian. “So, what do you think?”  
  
“I think this place is going to look like a gallery when Justin puts his art up,” Brian replied, looking through the glass doors into the family room. He turned around and looked at Justin, who smiled. “And I can’t wait for our housewarming party. It’s going to make Dani’s look like a funeral.”  
  
****  
  
Melanie and Lindsay ate their lunch on a peaceful Saturday afternoon. Gus had just eaten and was currently enthralled in the newest episode of SpongeBob Squarepants. It was the first opportunity for the mommies to spend some time alone when one or both weren’t asleep.  
“So,” Mel said. “How are the arrangements for Dani’s party coming?”  
  
“Fine,” Lindsay lied. “So, how’s your big case?”  
  
“Actually it’s been hell on paper,” Mel replied with a grin.   
  
“Are you sure?” Linds asked, happy to change the subject. “You don’t look like you’re in hell…in fact, you’ve been looking pretty chipper this last week…that is, when I see you.”  
  
“I know I’ve been busy, honey,” Mel said. “But, this case is big pain in the ass. Maybe if I show them I can win this loser case, I’ll make partner-finally.”  
  
“You will,” Linds assured her partner. “But, you still haven’t told me why you’re in such a good mood.”  
  
“I’m supposed to keep it a secret,” Mel chuckled, shoving more food in her mouth.  
  
“I thought we weren’t going to keep secrets from each other,” Lindsay replied. The second she did, she got a knot in her stomach. The guilt killed her appetite and she put her fork down.  
  
“Alright, alright,” Mel said, thinking Lindsay’s reaction had to do with her silence. “But, it’s supposed to be a secret…”  
  
“Just tell me…”  
  
“Brian and Justin have kissed and made up,” Mel replied. “Remember when I went over to Brian’s to give him a piece of my mind? And then I came home and said that I changed my mind about telling him to stay away from Gus?”  
  


“I told you not to go over there!”  
  
“Well, I did,” Mel said. “But, it doesn’t matter. When I saw those two together, I just knew it.”  
  
“Knew what?”  
  
“Brian finally said those three magic words,” Mel explained. “Brian had to have told Justin that he loves him. Justin would have never gone back to Brian without knowing that. And I don’t think we’ll have to worry about Gus’ new room since Justin told me how much he hated that loft and that he’d never move back.”  
  
“I know he said that,” Lindsay agreed. She was clearly in shock, but felt she understood the situation enough not to jump to conclusions. “But, that doesn’t mean that Brian’s going to go run off and look for a house.”  
  
“Linds…”  
  
“And just because they’re having sex again, doesn’t mean that Brian and Justin will stay together,” Lindsay reasoned. “They’ll break up again when Justin finally realizes that Brian will never change.”  
  
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you.”  
  
“And I can’t believe you think that just because Brian and Justin had sex that everything’s fine and dandy. Brian is Brian and that will never change.”  
  
****   
  
“I’m just glad Brian waited until after I met you to grow up,” Michael said. “Or I’d still be running after him like a sick puppy.”  
  
“Brian grow up?” Ben chuckled. “How’d you figure that?”  
  


“Well, maybe not grow up,” Michael explained, not being able to stop himself from laughing at the idea. “But, he’s starting. I mean admitting to Justin he loves him is a real big step for him.”  
  
“We’re just assuming that,” Ben clarified. “You don’t know for a fact that Brian actually told Justin anything.”  
  
“No way,” Michael disagreed. “Lately, I’ve been closer to Justin than I have been with Brian. And I know one thing for a fact. Justin wouldn’t go back to Brian if Brian say those three magic words. I can also guarantee that Justin’s not going to go back to that same shit before he left Brian.”  
  
“You honestly think Brian’s just going to change?”  
  
“Not at the snap of a finger,” Michael admitted. “But, Brian was changing before Justin broke up with him…it’s just that most people couldn’t even see it. I did. It’s just going to take some time, that’s all.”  
  
Ben looked skeptical, but he didn’t push any further. Michael was in a good mood he hated to change that, although he knew it wouldn’t last long.   
  
“I’m just glad everything’s back to normal,” Michael said. “We’re together, Linds and Mel are together, Brian and Justin are together, my mom and Carl…Em looks pretty happy. All we have to do is find someone for Ted and Vic.”  
  
“Don’t forget about Ty and Nicky,” Ben chuckled.   
  
“Maybe they can hook up,” Michael suggested. “Or maybe Ty and Blake will get together, since Ty’s moving in with the meth head.”  
  
“Former meth head.”  
  


“Whatever,” Michael giggled. “I’m just glad things are going back to normal.”  
  
“Things change, Michael,” Ben reasoned. “We just have to accept it when it happens.”  
  
“I’m just glad things are changing for the better,” Michael replied.   
  
“It’s not always for the better,” Ben disagreed.  
  
Michael faced his lover wondering where all this was coming from. He was going to ask what was wrong, but looking at Ben he knew exactly what was coming.  
  
“My T-cells dropped again,” Ben admitted.   
  
Michael didn’t know what to say, so he hugged Ben and kept quiet. It was something they both feared, yet there was nothing anyone could do anything about. All of a sudden, Michael felt guilty for being so happy.   
  
“Change,” Ben said ominously. “Change is the only constant in life.”  
  
“Is there something wrong?” Michael asked. “I mean something else besides your T-cells?”  
  
Ben stared into Michael’s eyes. Of course there was something else wrong. Didn’t there always seem to be?  
  
****  
  
“I hate having to keep moving,” Ty pouted, unpacking his meager belongings. “This totally fucking sucks.”  
  


“At least you have a place to stay,” Em reasoned, putting some of Ty’s clothes in an old dresser drawer.   
  
“Yeah, thanks Blake,” Ty sighed. “Really. I just hate this. It’s like I’m following in Justin’s footsteps, yet, in the end, I’m not the one who gets to gets to be fucked by Brian!”  
  
“That’s a good thing, honey,” Em chuckled.  
  
“I’m glad you’re staying here, Ty,” Blake said, watching the guys put Ty’s stuff away. “Justin said that he’d keep paying rent for a while, but I asked him why. It’s not like he’s going to be staying here anyway.”  
  
“Then maybe he should take the rest of his shit,” Ty pouted. “Or maybe he knows that Brian’s never going to change. That the millisecond he turns his head, Brian’ll be fucking me and half of Liberty Avenue when he gets a hard on.”  
  
Blake had been at home when Justin rushed in to grab some clothes. Justin had told him that he and Brian and made up and that Brian was waiting downstairs in the jeep because they couldn’t find a parking space. Later, Justin had called him and told Blake that he would be by to pick up the rest of his things later. The two lovebirds wanted to spend as much time together as they could. Although Justin hadn’t come back to collect the rest of his stuff, the young man had called and filled him in on his love life.   
  
Justin had told Blake that Brian had finally declared his love and that they were working on their problems, which Blake assumed was Brian’s libido. Blake was happy for Justin, but his roommate’s departure left him in a precarious situation. Without Justin, Blake couldn’t afford to stay in the apartment, no matter how cheap the place was. But, all wasn’t lost. Besides being a great roommate, Justin was a good friend and promised to continue to pay his part of the rent until he “moves, moves”. Blake wasn’t sure what it meant, but he was glad that he wouldn’t have to panic about money immediately.   
  
Justin and Blake had spoken several times during the past week and the more they talked, the more it seemed as if Blake was going to have to find another roommate. Blake thought that since Justin was back at Brian’s, Brian’s former live in trick was now without a home. Blake expected Justin to throw a fit or vehemently deny his request, but was relieved when Justin said it was a good idea. Although he couldn’t get into it at that moment, Blake was sure Justin would explain that to him later.   
  
“I did everything for that son of a bitch,” Ty complained. “And what does he do? He goes running back to his little cunt that dumped him! Justin dumped him! I’d never leave Brian, no matter what he did!”  
  
“Speaking of that,” Em interrupted. “Have you heard from Ramon lately?”  
  
“Yeah,” Ty replied, fighting back the tears. “Do you know how much he misses me? He begged me, begged me to come back to him!”   
  
Ty opened his mouth to say more, only to stop when the tears began to flow. Instead of facing the other men in the room, he ran into the bathroom, slamming it behind him.   
  
“You’ll take care of him, won’t you, Blake?” Em asked, looking at his watch.   
  
“Sure.”  
  
“It’s just that I’m supposed to be meeting Brook to buy some decorations for Dani’s party,” Emmett said, already to the door.   
  
“No,” Blake replied, as Emmett walked out of the apartment, “problem.”  
  
Ty slowly walked out of the bathroom, wiping his tears away. He sat down on the couch then looked around the room.  
  
“Where’s Em?”  
  
“He had to run,” Blake replied, sympathetically.  
  
“That son of a bitch,” Ty snapped. “I can’t believe he just fucking up and leaves when I need his help! When he’s all weepy cause his whore boyfriend dumps him, I was there!”  
  
“Emmett’s always been selfish,” Blake said. “I remember when I was with Ted. All he could think about was how my relationship with Ted affected him. I guess things never change.”  
  
****  
  
“A few months ago I’d agree,” Mel said. “But, even I can’t deny how Brian’s changing. Maybe it’s not as fast as we’d like, but there’s something different there.”  
  
“Brian isn’t capable of loving Justin like Justin wants,” Lindsay disagreed. “And even though-”  
  
Lindsay stopped when the phone rang. Since Melanie was closer, she picked up the phone and began speaking.   
  
“Speaking of the devil…What?....No shit!...Get the fuck outta here!....Yeah, yeah….Holy shit!...I can’t wait to see it…Yeah, I’ll tell her…Later!”  
  
“What was that?” Lindsay asked, looking at her ecstatic lover.   
  
“That was Brian,” Mel answered. “And if you didn’t think he couldn’t change, he just proved you wrong.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Brian just called to say that he’s purchasing a brand new home for he and Justin,” Mel informed Lindsay. “With a nice room just for Gus.”  
  
“Oh,” Lindsay replied.   
  
“He’s finally getting his act together,” Mel beamed. She hurried into the dining room where she left her purse and took out her phone book. “I’m going to call everyone I know! The world is about to end.”  
  
Lindsay smiled until Mel left the room, and then plopped on the sofa in shock. Her bottom lip trembled as she tried to keep her emotions in check. There were so many thoughts that filled her mind and she couldn’t tell which one of her theories was true. A single tear made its way down her cheek and she immediately wiped it away. She feared more would come, so she inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth in an attempt to calm herself. It helped.   
  
However, Mel saw everything as she stood in the doorway from the dining room to the living room. Mel was a good lawyer and she could see denial when it was right in front of her. Quietly, she walked back into the dining room and made a decision. Things between she and her partner were going to have to change.  
  
****  
  
Emmett rushed into his apartment then into his room focused on changing his attire. After a clothing switch, he felt he was better suited to see Brook and go out shopping for party supplies. He walked into the living room and looked around for his jacket only to see his roommate sitting alone in the dark.   
  
Emmett turned on the light and asked, “What on Earth are you doing in the dark? I didn’t even see you there.”   
  
Emmett was about to make a joke when he saw Michael had been crying. He looked at his watch and decided that Brook was just going to have to wait. His friend needed him. Taking a seat next to Michael, Emmett put an arm around the man’s shoulders and asked him what was wrong.   
  
“Ben’s leaving on his sabbatical after all,” Michael replied. Just hearing the words made him want to cry more, so he hugged Emmett and just sobbed.   
  
“I thought he said he wasn’t going to go,” Emmett wondered, rubbing Michael’s back, trying to comfort him.   
  
“He says a year,” Michael sobbed. “Maybe two…”  
  
“Honey, honey,” Em said, really not knowing what else to say.   
  
Emmett tried to get Michael to tell him more, but his roommate could only sob more. The only other thing Michael could verbalize was something Emmett didn’t have an answer to.   
  
“Why do they always leave me?” Michael sobbed. “What’s wrong with me?”  
  
****  
  
Brian turned off the alarm to the loft and closed the door after Justin entered. He watched his young lover strip to his underwear in the middle of the living room then seductively stroll into the bedroom, slowly pulling down his underwear. Brian quickly slipped off his shoes and his shirt and followed Justin into the bedroom. He walked into the bedroom to see his young lover naked, but for a strategically placed pillow covering a part of Justin, Brian suspected would be in his mouth very shortly. Brian smiled at the thought.  
  
“Are you going to get naked and fuck me senseless or what?” Justin asked, waving a condom at Brian.   
  
“Oh, I don’t know,” Brian teased, slowly unbuckling his belt. “I was just thinking about looking over my checkbook again…just in case you asked me one more time if we could afford the house.”  
  
“We have enough obstacles,” Justin said, licking his lips when Brian started to unbutton his pants. “I just don’t want money to be one of them.”  
  
“It won’t be,” Brian promised. He stopped stripping and made sure Justin understood that he was being serious. “So, don’t go running to your mother-”  
  
“I wasn’t,” Justin said.  
  
“Then what were you talking to her about when I was on the phone with superbitch number two?”  
  
“Us,” Justin smiled. “She’s really impressed. She thought it would take a force of God for you to change, but I knew better. She also thinks we might be going too fast again, but she’s cool-just as long as we’re both trying. I think you blew her away when she suggested getting the house in both of our names and you just agreed.”  
  
“Seemed easier than arguing with her,” Brian replied with a coy smile.   
  
“So, what did Mel have to say?”  
  
“I dunno,” Brian answered. He unzipped his pants and allowed them fall to the floor. “She was talking in snatch, so I couldn’t understand her.”  
  
Brian eased his way on the bed like a tiger on the prowl, wearing only his cunning smile and a jock strap.  
  
“You going to get rid of that?”  
  
Brian snatched Justin’s pillow and tossed it across the room. Instead of feasting as he originally planned, he sprawled on top of his young lover and held Justin closely.   
  
“As much as I love snuggling,” Justin confessed. “I was hoping we’d make love…all night long.”  
  
“Don’t worry, baby,” Brian purred in Justin’s ear. “No Babylon for a while.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Why go out when I have the best fuck in Pittsburgh at home already?” Brian asked, sitting up and pinning Justin on the bed…not that the younger man minded. “And I’d know, since I’ve fucked every gay man and half the supposed straight men around here.”  
  
“Not including yourself…”  
  
“If I could fuck myself, I’d never leave the house,” Brian chuckled.  
  
Justin smiled and put his hand under Brian’s jock strap and begun to stroke his lover slowly.   
  
“You’re such a good boy,” Brian hummed, slowly easing himself off of Justin.   
  
Justin wondered what Brian was going to do. That is until Brian stole his idea and began to stroke Justin…only with his mouth. Justin closed his eyes and absorbed every sensation Brian’s tongue gave him. However, it was only a teaser as Brian began to lick up Justin’s stomach, then to his pierced nipple, then lastly licking his neck. They exchanged a sweet kiss, both euphoric.  
  
“You love me,” Justin sighed.  
  
“You know I do, baby,” Brian purred. “You know I do.”


	15. House Warming, Part 1

Ted waited outside the door patiently, unsure of what to expect.  He thought that, since Justin hadn’t called to cancel, their plans to go to Dani and Brook’s housewarming party were still on.  He was, however, surprised to see Ty answer the door.

 

“Oh, it’s just you,” Ty replied, rolling his eyes and strolling away without another thought to Ted.

 

“Thanks,” Ted sighed, walking into the apartment to see Blake getting ready.  “So, is Justin in the shower?”

 

“You don’t know?”  Blake wondered aloud.

 

“He knows,” Ty snipped, looking in the mirror to make sure his hair was just right.  “He was right there when Justin leapt into Brian’s arms like Scarlet O’ fucking Hara.”

 

Ty watched as Ted’s eyes dropped and wanted to burst out laughing.  It was obvious the guy had it bad for Justin, but this was ridiculous.  Like Ted had a chance next to a guy like Brian.  

 

“He never called me,” Ted sighed.

 

“He probably had his mouth full,” Ty snorted.  “With Brian’s dick…”

 

“Give it a rest, Ty,” Blake replied, rolling his eyes at his new roommate.  He closed the door behind Ted and tried to explain what he had assumed his former boyfriend already knew.  “Justin moved back in with Brian-”

 

“And he still needs to pick up the rest of his shit,” Ty reminded him, putting on a shirt his ex boyfriend had given him.  A picture of the Puerto Rican flag was embroidered on its back.  

 

“I’m sure Justin assumed that you knew he’d be going with Brian,” Blake continued, trying to ignore Ty.  “If you want, we can give him a call.”

 

“No,” Ted replied miserably.  “I wasn’t looking forward to this party anyway.”

 

“Naw,” Ty snorted, turning away from the mirror when he was done making himself up.  “You should go.  In fact, you should go with Blake.”

 

“You two don’t need a training wheel,” Ted sighed.

 

“You won’t be since, unlike my new roomie here, I have a date,” Ty informed him.  “And you’ll be a big hero, saving Blakie here from having to go solo.”

 

“Please be my hero,” Blake asked sweetly, holding onto Ted’s arm.  

 

“I’m no hero,” Ted said matter of factly.

 

“Well, with an attitude like that, you’re never going to impress little Mr. Bubble Butt,” Ty snickered.  “What you need is a little self confidence.”

 

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say,” Blake told his ex.  “Not that you need it for Justin.  But, you need it for yourself.  You’re a great guy.  You always have been.”

 

“See there,” Ty said, looking over Ted’s clothes.  “And you didn’t come in Em’s most boring theme.  It shows you’re above it all.  That it doesn’t matter what you wear-that you’re fab without all the drama.”

 

“I didn’t have anything,” Ted admitted.  

 

“Well don’t announce it, honey,” Ty snorted.  “Just say that you’re there and that’s all that counts.”  Ty raised an eyebrow and smirked.  “I know Brian’s not going to wear any of this Latin themed shit.  He’s going to go as he is and he’ll look fab and no one will give a shit.”

 

“I don’t give a shit about Brian,” Ted snapped.

 

“Well, you shouldn’t,” Ty replied with a smile.  “And don’t worry about Justin either.  He’ll be kicking me out here as soon as Brian goes back to his whoremongering days.  Don’t you worry.  Brian’ll be back fucking me and half of Liberty Ave in a few weeks or so.  You can count on that.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that,” Blake said. He ignored the sharp look Ty gave him and continued.  “I think things are looking up for them.  Isn’t that what you want, Ted?  For Justin to be happy?”

 

“I guess,” Ted sighed.

 

“That’s a crock of shit,” Ty replied.  “He wants Justin to be happy with him.”

 

“Ty…” Blake began, only for Ty to walk away from him when there was a knock on the door.

 

“Ramon, sweetie,” Ty said, hugging his ex as the small man walked through the door.  “Let me introduce you to Blake, he’s my new roommate and the somber looking one’s Ted.  He’s Blake’s ex.”

 

“Is this a ‘bring your ex to a party’, party?”  Ramon asked, which only made the group laugh, well, except for Ted. 

 

Ramon handed Ty a bouquet of flowers, for which Ty thanked him by giving his ex a long kiss.

 

“Maybe it’s a ‘bring your ex to a party to see if things can work out’ party,” Ty said, winking at Blake and Ted.

 

“Let’s just have a little fun,” Blake replied, holding onto Ted’s hand.  He smiled at Ted and was happy that his former lover smiled back.  Blake just hoped that it was sincere.  He wasn’t entirely sure.

 

****

     

Brian and Justin had begun making out in the shower and were not even close to being ready for the party.  Having had had a little fun, they actually took the time to clean up, only to be distracted again. 

 

“I think I’m getting pruny,” Justin mentioned as Brian kissed down his neck.  “Maybe we can move this to the bedroom.”

 

“Mmmm…”  Brian turned off the water, never taking his mouth from his lover’s neck.  

 

“Although, we really should be getting ready for the party,” Justin said, as Brian backed him towards the bedroom.  

 

They were both soaking wet, but that didn’t seem to matter.  

 

“You know, we can skip the whole thing,” Brian replied through kisses.  “It’s not like Dani’s actually expecting me to show.”

 

“I told her I was coming,” Justin reminded Brian.  “And that I was bringing the hottest guy in town.”

 

“Fuck,” Brian sighed, pulling away from Justin.  “Now that you put it that way, I guess we have to make an appearance.”

 

“Don’t lie,” Justin laughed.  “You want to go…just to see what her place looks like and if ours is better.  Even though you know ours kicks ass.”

 

“Dani’s family’s got more money that dirt,” Brian informed his young love.  “And from her address she isn’t going to be living too far from us.  From what Brook said, they had the whole place remodeled to her specifications.  Her room on one side, his on the completely opposite side of the house…”

 

“Whatever it is, it’ll just be a large apartment,” Justin said.  “Not a home.  Not like ours will be.”

 

Brian’s only response was to kiss Justin again, and then slap his lover’s butt.  He moved away, grabbed two towels and tossed one to Justin.  

 

“What are you wearing?”  Justin asked.

 

“Prada.”

 

“You’re just going to ignore Emmett’s theme,” Justin wondered, though he already knew that answer.  “He’s going to give you shit.”

 

“Like I care,” Brian snorted.  “Anyway, you’ll be there wearing that…whatever the fuck you call it.”

 

“It’s one of those shirts the Mariachi players wear,” Justin explained.  “I got it at the thrift store.  Along with this sombrero I got at Chevy’s when my mom took me on my birthday last year.”

 

“That’s authentic.”

 

“Better than a hustler,” Justin reminded him, only to have Brian give him an apologetic look.  “And while we’re on the subject-”

 

“You seemed to like your present just fine,” Brian interrupted in his defense. 

 

“I know you don’t believe in celebrating birthdays, but I do,” Justin informed him.  “So if you’re going to give me something, give me a quiet night alone with you…and if there’s anybody wrapped up in a big bow for me-it better be you, or so help me God!”

 

“I got it,” Brian said, pulling Justin into a kiss before his lover could continue his rant.  “You want me in a bow for your birthday.”

 

Justin sighed and rolled his eyes.  That’s not what he meant, but he guessed Brian understood what he was trying to say.  Brian just had to be Brian.  Justin smirked to show that he wasn’t angry and put on his pants and a pair of cowboy boots he had also bought at the thrift store.

 

“Where did you get those God awful things?” Brian asked, as he slipped on his designer Italian shoes.  “They looked like they fell off a-”

 

“Don’t say it,” Justin interrupted him.  “I bought them at the thrift store.”

 

“Justin, I don’t want you shopping at a thrift store,” Brian said, knowing the argument he was about to get.  He listened as Justin explained to him that he liked the clothes because they were clothes he bought and he wasn’t ashamed to be in them.  He waited until Justin was finished with his rant before he sighed and calmly replied, “If I’m going to bring clients home, I want them to know you’re my partner…not some twenty dollar hustler I got online.”

 

“Partner?”  Justin repeated the word Brian said so casually and felt his heart thump.

 

Brian rubbed his face and wanted to collapse on the bed, only he couldn’t because he didn’t want to wrinkle his pants or shirt.  Instead, Brian sighed and leaned against the wall.  

 

“I’m not your sugar daddy.  You just deserve better.”

 

“You are so sweet, do you know that?”

 

“Give me a break,” Brian snorted, turning to the closet.  

 

Justin leaned up against Brian’s back and slipped his hand inside Brian’s open shirt.  

 

“We can go shopping tomorrow,” Justin suggested, slowly fanning his hand across Brian’s bare chest.  

 

Brian took Justin’s hand and kissed it softly.  “We can make a day of it.  We can go to the outlets and purchase until my platinum card bleeds.”

 

“The outlets,” Justin said, moving away from Brian.

 

“What’s wrong?”  Brian saw the immediate change in Justin’s behavior.

 

“I was supposed to go to the outlets with Ted on Sunday,” Justin recalled.  “Oh shit!”  Justin stomped his foot as the worry crossed his face.  “I was supposed to go with Ted to Dani’s party.  I totally forgot to call him and cancel.”

 

“I think he got the picture at the diner,” Brian assured him, pulling Justin close to him again. 

 

Brian kissed his lover a few times until Justin seemed convinced that Brian was right.  They stood in each others arms when Brian began to brush his lips across Justin’s face, never actually embracing his young lover.  When he spoke, it came out as a breathy exhale.  “You’ve been seeing a lot of Ted lately.”

 

“I kinda felt sorry for him,” Justin replied, wrapping his arms around Brian’s shoulders.  “He seemed so alone after he and Em broke up and…I kinda knew how that felt…”

 

“You were never alone,” Brian said after a single gentle kiss.  “I once told you that I’d always be there, even if I wasn’t.”

 

“It wasn’t the same.”

 

“I guess we found that out the hard way,” Brian replied, pressing his groin against Justin.

 

“We are supposed to be getting ready for Dani’s party,” Justin reminded him with a smile. “We can say our ‘hellos’, and then we can come home and play some more.” When Brian groaned, Justin giggled at him.  “The sooner we get there, the sooner we can get back.”

 

“You just want to shove us in Ty’s face…”

 

“That too,” Justin laughed.  “Especially since I took his sugar daddy away from him.”

 

“I’m not a sugar daddy,” Brian sniffed.  “ _Ju Ju_.”

 

“Hey!” Justin replied.  He thought of a snide remark to say to Brian when it hit him.  This was the perfect opportunity to discuss something that he had wanted to talk to Brian about ever since he heard about it.  “Why not just call me Momma?”

 

Brian froze in his spot and averted his eyes from those of his lover.  

 

“You taught Gus to say that didn’t you?”  Justin accused, though he didn’t mean it to sound like that.  Hearing his own words, he changed his approach.  “Even when we were apart, you thought of us as a family.”

 

“I didn’t teach Gus how to say that,” Brian replied, though not very convincingly.  “I did teach him to call you Ju Ju, but that was because I knew it would drive Mel nuts.”

 

“It did.”

 

“See?” Brian replied with a smile.  “Then I was successful.”

 

“Brian-”

 

“Justin, it’s not what you think,” Brian sighed, buttoning his shirt.  Now, all he wanted was to get ready and leave, so he could avoid this conversation.

 

“Then explain it to me.” 

 

Justin waited and, when he saw that Brian wasn’t about to explain, sat on the bed and thought of a way to get Brian to share.  It was no easy task.  A million other men had tried and failed to get Brian to open up, but he had an ace up his sleeve…he had done it before.  The only problem was trying to do it again.  It seemed that he had lost his leverage: he’d never threaten to leave Brian over something as silly as this, even though it really wasn’t that silly.  To Justin, leaving Brian wasn’t something he wanted to consider himself.  

 

So, how would he get Brian to share without forcing it out of him?  Justin thought until an idea popped into his mind.  In no time flat, he was going to get a degree in Brian Kinney lingo.

 

“OK, you didn’t teach Gus to call me Mommy,” Justin conceded, knowing Brian wouldn’t just flat out lie about that.  “But, you do know why and how he started saying it…and don’t try to change the subject.  My ass is planted on this bed until you give me a bone.”

 

“Fine,” Brian said, facing Justin.  “I just wanted to fuck you anyway.”

 

“Brian!”  

 

“Fuck,” Brian sighed, turning away again.  “I didn’t do it on purpose.  Gus thought of it all on his own.”

 

“With your help, maybe?”

 

“I’ll explain it to you in the car,” Brian replied, giving Justin a look which told the young man to just give in.  “But it’s still not what you think.”

 

“Only if I get to shove it in Lindsay’s face that I didn’t do it.”

 

“Why would you want to do that?”

 

“First she reminded me how much she loved me.  Then, her true face came out and she got all dramatic on me accusing me of using Gus to get back to you,” Justin explained.  “Like I’d ever do that!  Brian, you know how much I love Gus.  I’ve been there since he was born!  I helped name him and she bugs out because Gus called me Momma?  You know what Mel told me?  Lindsay thought it was OK for Ty to baby sit Gus, yet because of this Momma thing, she wanted Gus to see less of me.  How much fucking sense does that make?”

 

“Calm down, Sunshine,” Brian sighed, taking it all in.  He hadn’t the slightest idea what was going on with Lindsay, but he damned well was going to find out.  “And don’t worry about not seeing Gus.  You’re his family too.  Sounds like even Mel knows that.”

 

“She does,” Justin admitted.  “She said she was going to try to talk some sense into Lindsay.  Hopefully now that we’re back together, all of this will just go away.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Brian replied, giving Justin a kiss.  “Believe me, I’ll take care of it.”

 

****   

 

Debbie and Carl were greeted by Emmett at the door at Dani and Brook’s party.  They were dressed to fit the festivities, but saw that the party planner was jazzed to the nines in a Spanish dress, carrying a fan the size of a small child.

 

“Hola señor y señora,” Emmett greeted, waving his fan majestically.  “You two look magnifico.”

 

“Well, aren’t you a hot tamale,” Deb chuckled, taking a quick glance around the home.  “And the decorations...”

 

“Very nicely put together,” Carl added.  

 

Carl moved aside when he saw Mel come up behind him.  They greeted the woman who was carrying Gus and his ever present traveling accessories.  

 

“Wow,” Mel said, glancing around the foyer.  “And Dani was shacking up at our place?  I should ask her for back rent.”

 

“Well, she could afford it,” Deb replied.  “It must’ve cost an arm and a leg just to get Em in that dress.”

 

“Aren’t you sweet?”  Em asked sarcastically.

 

“You did a wonderful job with the decorations,” Carl quickly said.

 

“Don’t forget Lindsay,” Mel told the group.  “She had her hand in this too.”

 

“She did?”  Deb wondered aloud.  

 

“She did?”  Em said softly, though Mel didn’t hear him.  

 

“Well, I’m going to find her and tell her what a great job she did,” Mel said, walking away to find her partner.  

 

“Well, I didn’t know that,” Deb replied.

 

“Neither did I,” Emmett told the couple.  “Neither did I.”

 

****

 

“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times,” Dani said, her voice lowered so that her other guests couldn’t hear her.  “I’m not going to lie to Mel about this.  You handed her your pack of bullshit…deal with it.”

 

“I thought you were my friend,” Lindsay gasped.

 

“I thought I was too,” Dani snapped back.  “And any friend of mine doesn’t ask me to cover up their shit.  I’m an Assistant District Attorney, not a defense lawyer.  I usually put bullshit liars in prison, not invite them to my parties.”

 

“Don’t be so melodramatic,” Lindsay sighed.  “I’m not asking you to perjure yourself… I’m just-”

 

“Hey there,” Mel interrupted, immediately handing Gus over to Lindsay.  “The decorations are great and your house…wow.  Nice digs, Dani.”

 

“Thanks,” Dani replied, trying to keep her anger in check.  “I’ll show you around in a few…looks like Carl’s here…I’d better say hi.”

 

Dani left before Mel could get another word in edgewise.  Mel’s attention, however, was on her partner, who looked rather upset.  

 

“What’s wrong?”  Mel asked, setting Gus’ bag onto a chair.

 

“Nothing,” Lindsay replied.  When she saw that Mel didn’t seem to believe her, she made the best offer she could without actually revealing anything.  “We can talk about it later.”

 

Mel knew something was up, but saw Lindsay’s eyes wander to the front door. Mel turned to see Brian arrive, dressed to the nines, though not in theme, and was for once happy to see him.  She looked at her partner and saw that Lindsay seemed even happier.  Gus was waving hi to his Daddy.  Mel happiness disappeared when it seemed that Justin was nowhere in sight.  

 

“Brian,” Lindsay called, out all smiles, “come see your son.” 

 

It seemed as if Brian wasn’t moving fast enough for Lindsay, so the woman sped over to him and shoved Gus into his arms.  Gus called out to his daddy and Lindsay seemed obviously overjoyed to see them together as father and son.  

 

“He’s missed you these last few days,” Lindsay told Brian.  “We were getting a little spoiled with you visiting or sitting him as often as you have.”

 

“I’ve been busy,” Brian replied, kissing Gus then immediately handing him over to Justin who had just joined them.  “Look, Sonny Boy, Ju Ju’s here.”

 

“Hi, Gussie,” Justin greeted, kissing the boy as he took him into his arms.  Justin turned his attention to Brian and said, “Michael’s outside.  I dunno, I think something’s up.”

 

“I’ll talk to him later,” Brian said, taking in Lindsay’s attempt to hide her shock.  Too late.   Brian saw it.  That was enough.  

 

“So, you two are really back together,” Lindsay laughed, with a false smile.  

 

“That’s what I told you honey,” Mel said, scrutinizing Brian.  “Brian’s finally trying to act like a man…a real man.”

 

“Yeah, I’m trying to be like Mel,” Brian snidely remarked. “Except with a dick…unless you have a dick.”

 

“Not in front of Gus, you two,” Justin told them, though neither looked remotely hostile.  “We want to keep him as innocent as we can, especially considering who his daddy is.”

 

“Exactly,” Lindsay said, moving to take Gus, only to have Brian stop her.  “What?  I think he needs a diaper change…”

 

Justin smelled the boy and rolled his eyes in disbelief.  “He smells just fine to me.”

 

“Linds, I just changed him not ten minutes ago,” Mel said.

 

“Can’t I just check my son?”  Lindsay asked.

 

“We’ve got to talk,” Brian said, taking Lindsay by the arm.  “Now.”

 

“What do you say, Gussie?”  Justin asked, walking away from Brian, Lindsay and Mel.  “Wanna say hi to Auntie Em?”

 

“Mel,” Brian said softly.  He didn’t want to be rude to her (at that particular moment), but he wanted to talk to Linds alone.  He was happy when Mel seemed to agree.

 

“I need a drink,” the lawyer proclaimed.  

 

Brian and Lindsay looked at each other and wondered not if they would need a drink after their conversation, but how many?

 

****

 

“Congratulations,” Dani said, sneaking up on Justin before he made his way to Emmett, still greeting guests.  

 

“On what?”

 

“You and Brian.”

 

“If I recall correctly,” Justin replied.  “I thought you hated Brian.”

 

“I do,” Dani chuckled, shaking Gus’ hand.  “But, I also respect him…and if you tell him that, I’ll call you a flat out liar.”

 

“Mums the word,” Justin told her.  “We’re trying to work on our relationship together.  And he loves me…he said so…and if you tell anyone that, I’ll call you a flat out liar.”

 

“Agreed,” Dani laughed.  “Just so you know, if Brian says he’s trying to commit to you, he is.  Brian is a great many things, but a liar and a hypocrite he’s not.”  Dani thought about that statement for a moment and amended it.  “He may lie to himself, but that’s another story altogether.”

 

“What are we talking about?”  Emmett asked, finally away from his spot at the front door.

 

“Liars,” Justin replied.

 

Emmett put his hands over Gus’ ears before he asked, “We wouldn’t be chatting about Lindsay would we?”  

 

“Hypocrite, maybe,” Justin said.  “Little Miss ‘Jump to Conclusions’, maybe.  But, a liar, no.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Dani snickered, looking over to where Brian stood talking while Lindsay quietly listened. 

 

“What do you know?”  Emmett asked.

 

“You tell me what you’ve got and I’ll tell you what I’ve got,” Dani countered.

 

“Mel said that Lindsay told her that she helped set up the party,” Emmett informed them.  “Which is basically a bold faced lie, because I worked my ass off making this place a fiesta grande.  And last I checked she was no where in sight.  What the hell is that all about?”

 

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” Justin sighed, shaking his head.  

 

“Well,” Emmett asked, anxiously waiting for Dani’s information.  “What do you have?”

 

“Let’s just say, Lindsay’s told Mel more than one lie,” Dani replied, sneering in Lindsay’s direction.  Looking at her empty wine glass, she excused herself for a refill.

 

“What was that all about?”  Emmett wondered aloud.

 

“Honestly,” Justin admitted, “I really don’t want to know.  Just as long as Brian doesn’t have anything to do with it…although knowing Linds, she’ll drag Brian into it anyway.”

 

“Oh, Lord,” Em sighed, turning his attention to the front door.  He tapped on Justin’s shoulder so that the younger man could see who was entering.  “Well, if it isn’t Ted and Blake…and Ty and Ramon.”

 

“I wish I would have listened to Brian and just stayed home,” Justin replied.  

 

“Just to warn you, Ty’s been on a rampage, talking loads of shit about you,” Em informed his friend.  “The last time I saw him, he was ranting so bad, I just up and left him sobbing in his bathroom.  It was like listening to Michael whine about Brian when you first came into the picture.  I **_so_** didn’t want to relive those days.”

 

“I know,” Justin replied with a smile.  “Blake called me and told me everything.  And just so you know, Ty’s pissed at you for leaving him there in mid sob.”

 

“He’ll get over it,” Em assured Justin.  “Especially with Ramon here.”

 

“Also,” Justin continued.  “I forgot to call Ted and cancel our plans to come here tonight.  Think he’s pissed?”

 

“At you?”  Emmett snorted.  “According to Ted lately, you can practically walk on water.  He should have known that you’d be coming with Brian as soon as he saw that wonderful display at the diner…which was, by the way, dramatic and had all the queers gossiping in overdrive.”  Emmett smiled softly and took a good look at Justin holding Gus in his arms.  “You know, I wanted you and Brian back together for selfish reasons, then I wanted you two apart for paranoid reasons, but you know what?  I’m glad you and Brian are back together, because it’s so obvious how you love him and he loves you.  Both of you are a family…all three of you are a family.”

 

“It took him long enough to figure that out,” Justin chuckled.

 

“Well, Brian always did think with the wrong head,” Em retorted.  “Just look at the whole Ty fiasco.”

 

“Uh, oh,” Justin sighed. “They’re coming this way. Can we hide?”

 

“I wish we could,” Em replied, putting on his most convincing fake smile.  “I wish we could.”


	16. House Warming, Part 2

Brian took Lindsay to an area of the party where they could be alone.  He didn’t want to cause a scene, though he certainly wasn’t above it.  

 

 

“I want to tell you something I should have mentioned months ago,” Brian began.  “It’s about Gus.”

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“One night, while I was telling Gus a bedtime story,” Brian started, “the story kind of took a strange turn.  It was about a mommy, daddy and a baby.  Gus said he had a Mommy and a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy.”  

 

Brian sighed, remembering the night.  At the time, he and Justin were no longer together and the idea startled him.  It was rubbing salt to in the wound of Justin’s leaving.  

 

“I sort of freaked.  Justin and I had already broken up and - fuck it…the truth is I’m an egotistical bastard. I told him he only had one Daddy and that was me, but when I said it, he started to cry.  It was like I was taking away something from him.  I think he had it in his mind that Mommy kissed Mommy so Daddy kissed Daddy…or something like that.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”  Lindsay asked.  

 

“I just didn’t,” Brian snapped.  “I told him the story again, but this time I used Mommy and Mommy, which he seemed fine with.  The only problem was that I had promised him two stories.  So, I read another one with Mommy and Mommy, but he wasn’t happy with that.  He said he wanted to hear about Daddy and Daddy.  But, because I told him he was wrong, the second he said Daddy twice, he started to cry again like he did something wrong.”

 

“You should have said something, Brian,” Lindsay gasped.  “We could have solved this together.”

 

“Can you turn back time?”

 

“No, but-”

 

“Then stop fucking interrupting me and let me finish,” Brian snarled.  “I took out some pictures I had and we went through them.”  Brian looked directly at Lindsay and made sure she understood what their son (not Brian) had done.  “He looked right at the picture of Justin and called him Daddy.  I couldn’t take that away from him…or Justin.  But, like I said, I’m an egotistical bastard and I told him that if he was going to call Justin anything, call him Ju Ju.  It would be his special name for his other Daddy.”  Brian paused.  “He may be a kid, but he knows the importance of a Mommy and Daddy and he wasn’t happy about it.  I told him that Justin was his Momma too, but he should call his boy Momma Ju Ju.”

 

“You should have said something,” Lindsay repeated.  “We’re Gus’ parents.”  

 

“No,” Brian corrected, hoping that Lindsay’s words were just a slip of the tongue.  “You _and Mel_ are Gus’ Mommies.  Justin and I are Gus’…Daddies.  Justin’s a part of my family and he’s always been a part of Gus’, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

 

“You’ve got some nerve,” Lindsay said, shaking her head in disgust.  “Maybe Mel was right.  Maybe we should keep Gus away from you altogether.”

 

Brian stared at Lindsay, not believing what he had just heard.  Her words felt like a punch to the gut.   He had given up his parental rights for the sake of his son.  He should have listened to Justin, he should never have done it…even though he thought it was best for Gus.  

 

“Brian,” Dani said, walking towards the couple, martini in hand.  “I think I’m going to have a little talk with Lindsay…” She looked at the man long and hard, her eyes showing an unexpected glint of support.  “You should go rescue Justin and Gus…they’re about to be ambushed by Ty.  Be a good daddy and protect _your family_.”

 

As Brian walked away, Dani turned to see Lindsay glaring menacingly.  

 

“I don’t-”

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Dani snapped, not letting Lindsay get a word in edgewise.  “I haven’t even started with you yet…”

 

****

 

“I am so sorry, Ted,” Justin said as his friend and former roommate walked up to him and Gus.  “I completely forgot to tell you I didn’t need a ride for tonight.”

 

“A ride?”  Ted wondered aloud.  “Sure…looks like you already had one.”

 

“Where is Brian?”  Ty asked, arm in arm with Ramon.  “I wanted him to meet Ramon…only this time without all the fighting.” 

 

“He’s making the rounds,” Emmett replied.  

 

“Hopefully he isn’t doing it like he usually does,” Ty laughed.  “There’s not a huge array of men here, so I’d hate to think he started fucking lesbians.”

 

“Ty, if you don’t mind,” Justin said, motioning to the child he was carrying.  

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry about that, Gus,” Ty replied to the young boy.  “I’ve been wanting to meet you for so long.  You are so cute.  You look just like your Daddy.”

 

“Justin,” Ted said, looking a bit disoriented.  “Can I talk to you for a sec…alone?”

 

“I’ll take Gus,” Ty quickly offered, grabbing the boy. Gus could sense the friction between Justin and the other man, so when the other man tried to pull him away he began to cry.      

 

Justin pulled Gus away from Ty, which only caused the boy to cry.   He calmed the boy by rubbing his back, as Gus held onto him tightly.  All the while, Justin glared at Ty.

 

“I’ll take him,” Emmett said, easing himself between Justin and Ty.  After Justin asked Gus if he wanted to go with Auntie Em, Justin handed him over.  

 

“I won’t be long,” Justin told Gus, waving to him as he walked away with Ted.

 

Gus watched Justin until Ted led him out of sight. Not sure what was happening around him but happy to be with his family, he buried his head in his Auntie Em’s dress and held on tight.  

 

“You didn’t have to be such a snatch,” Ty snidely said to Emmett.  He rubbed Gus’ back and tried to reassure the boy.  “Gus wouldn’t have cared if you two didn’t make such a big deal about it.”

 

“The kid doesn’t know you from a crack whore on the street,” Ramon said, yanking Ty away from Gus.  

 

“You don’t-”

 

“Shut the f-…shut up,” Ramon hissed, remembering there still was a child present.  He took Ty by the arm and squeezed roughly.  “Get me a drink-you know what I want.”

 

“Get it yourself!”

 

“What?!”

 

Ty winced as Ramon tightened his grip, and then conceded.  Rubbing his arm, he quietly headed for the bar.

 

“So…” Emmett said, forcing a smile.  “How’ve you been doing?”

 

“Still working on my demons,” Ramon admitted.  “But, things are getting better since I quit drinking.”

 

“I know how that is,” Blake replied.  “It’s one day at a time right?”

 

“Right,” Ramon agreed.  

 

Ty returned quickly and handed Ramon a beer. Ramon snatched it away and guzzled half of it down without a pause.  

 

“So,” Emmett asked sarcastically, “how’s that not drinking going?”

 

“This,” Ramon answered, “this is just a beer.”

 

“Of course,” Emmett replied, looking around the room.  “There’s Mel, I’d better take Gus to one of his Mommies.”

 

Ramon watched Emmett walk away, then finished off his beer with one quick chug.  He shoved the empty bottle into Ty’s hand then turned his attention to Blake.  Wordlessly, Ty left to fetch Ramon another drink.

 

****

 

“This isn’t your business!”  Lindsay informed Dani. 

 

“Oh, yes it is,” Dani snapped back.  “You made it my business.  You’ve made your entire life my business and if you don’t give a shit about your son, then I guess I’ll have to make him my business too!”

 

Lindsay turned to walk away.  Flinging her glass to the floor, Dani grabbed Lindsay with both hands.  Tugging her, Dani turned Lindsay so they stood face to face.

 

“You know how much Brian gets on my nerves, but you know what?”  Dani asked, not allowing Lindsay time to answer.  “If you try to stop Brian _or Justin_ from seeing Gus, I’m going to be Brian’s new lawyer!  You’re the boy’s mother for crying out loud, why don’t you look past your stupid jealousy to see what’s best _for_ _Gus_ …not you!”

 

“Brian gave away his parental rights,” Lindsay informed Dani.  “He doesn’t have the right to-”

 

“I don’t give a shit,” Dani interrupted, poking her finger at Lindsay’s chest.  “And no offense to Mel…she’s a good lawyer, in a nice firm, but I’m a fucking Assistant District Attorney and I will wipe the floor with her and any papers that Brian may or may not have signed!”

 

“Don’t threaten me!”

 

“I am!” Dani promised.  “And papers or no fucking papers, I won’t let you use your son to try and keep Brian. That’s some low shit, Linds…some really low shit!”

 

****

 

“Hey did I miss anything?”  Brook asked, stumbling to the bar.  Seeing Ty, he wrapped his arm around the blond and leaned against him.

 

“You’re high,” Ty observed, pouring scotch.  

 

He tried to ignore Brook, but it was hard when the other man was dead weight against him.  Ty tried to push Brook away, but it was obvious that he was so out of it that he could barely stand.  He wondered how Brook had made it to the party at all.  

 

“There’s your boyfriend,” Ty said, pointing to Emmett who still carried Gus.

 

Emmett was talking to Melanie and, though he tried to hand Gus to her, she didn’t take her son.  Instead, Emmett walked away from Mel and met eyes with Brook.  Reluctantly, Em made his way over to where Brook was leaning against Ty.

 

“Hey, baby,” Brook slurred.   “How’s the little guy.”

 

“Sober,” Emmett replied shortly.  

 

“Hey there, Gus,” Brook said, trying to hug the child, only to have Emmett move the boy away.  “What’s a matter with you?”

 

“I can’t believe you’d come here late,” Emmett said, trying not to snap.  He didn’t want to startle Gus more than the boy had already been that evening.  “And like that.  What did you take?”

 

“Does it matter?”  Brook replied, with an ear to ear smile.  “But I have more, if you’re interested.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Maybe you can take your boyfriend off my shoulders,” Ty interrupted.  “I have my own pile of sh-crap to deal with over there.”

 

“You can have him,” Emmett replied, walking away from them.  “I have to find one of Gus’ parents.”

 

****

 

Ted walked Justin into a small room filled with boxes.  He had so much to say and so much to ask, but nothing seemed to come out.  He was saved from having to begin the conversation when Justin immediately started talking.

 

“I feel like such an ass,” Justin told him.  “I was so wrapped up in my own world, I didn’t even have the common courtesy to tell you that Brian was taking me to the party.  I’m a shit, I know…”

 

“You’re not a shit,” Ted replied, his head hanging.  

 

“I am,” Justin disagreed.  “I mean I flaked out on the great job you gave me, I forgot to tell you that I didn’t need a ride here and…I’ve got to cancel our day at the outlets.”

 

“Don’t tell me,” Ted chuckled, though he didn’t look very happy.  “Brian told you that you couldn’t go.”

 

“Not exactly,” Justin explained.  “It’s just that we’re going to the outlets tomorrow.  Brian wants to buy me some clothes so that I don’t look like a starving artist in front of his clients.  Don’t you think that’s so sweet…in a Brian sorta way?”

 

“He’s the one who said you couldn’t work for me?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted.  “But, it’s not like I can blame him.  I cheated on him, remember?  And working at a porn site with a bunch of half naked men isn’t exactly the smartest move I could make, especially when we’re both trying to make our relationship work.”

 

“Like he isn’t going to be fucking the greater part of Liberty Avenue in no time flat,” Ted said disgusted.  “This is the biggest piece of bullshit I’ve heard from him yet, and I’ve heard it all.”

 

“Ted, he asked me to quit,” Justin replied, startled by Ted’s reaction.  “But it was my choice and if I had wanted to work there, he would have supported me.  The only problem with that is that I needed him to know that I wanted to work on our relationship as much as he did…he does.  And who Brian fucks, is his and my business.”

 

“You’re just going to let him treat you like shit?”

 

“He’s not treating me like shit,” Justin countered.  He was obviously confused by Ted’s reaction and hadn’t expected his friend to react so unkindly.  “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

 

“Happy for you?”  Ted laughed.  A laugh that chilled Justin.  “How can I be happy for you when you’re jumping back into a relationship with a guy who fucks everyone and doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself?  He can’t even admit that you’re in a relationship together.  He can’t even tell you he loves you.”

 

“He has,” Justin replied, smiling softly.  

 

In his heart, Justin believed that Ted only wanted what was best for him.  In fact, this was the conversation he had expected to get from his mother or Deb, but both women had supported him and Brian. More than he had ever expected.  Justin couldn’t help but smile.  To him, it just meant that Ted cared about him and it made him feel safe.  Justin had never really respected Ted until he got to know the man in those days when he and Brian weren’t even speaking.  

 

Justin went to either his mother or to Deb when he needed advice, but there were some things a woman just couldn’t help him with.  Not being able to turn to his father or Brian, he turned to Ted and Ted always obliged, giving an attentive ear and sage advice.

 

In many ways, Justin valued Ted’s counsel more than he had Brian’s.  He didn’t have anything to prove to Ted, and Ted could never use sex as leverage in their relationship.  To Justin, it was the perfect relationship between friends and, to him, Ted was like the big brother he never had.  

 

“Brian yelled that he loved me in the middle of the street,” Justin enlightened Ted, not able to keep the smile from his face.  “Of course only Nicky and I were around, but that’s beside the point.  He loves me, and just to top it off, Brian’s selling the loft and we’re buying a house together.  And when I say together, I mean that both of our names are going to be on the deed.  In fact, we’re only going to living a few blocks from here. You should see the place…it’s as big as this place is, only more homey.”

 

Ted tried to hide his disappointment, but it wasn’t easy.  He could see that Justin was happy, but that wasn’t the point.  The point, to him, was that Brian was still Brian and that son of a bitch didn’t deserve to be with Justin.  

 

“You know what I was thinking?”  Justin asked, trying to get Ted to smile.  “I was thinking that since you still need someone to work on the site, you could get Blake to help you.  I mean, he’s really clean and you two did come together.  And you know what else?”  

 

Justin paused as Ted glanced up at him.  He grabbed the man’s arm and leaned against his shoulder with a sigh.

 

“I know he still loves you,” Justin continued.  “And I know how much you used to love him.  Ted, those feelings just don’t go away. I know you might be mad at him, but you can’t be mad at him forever.  I cheated on Brian and he found a way to forgive me…and we both know what a stubborn ass he can be.”

 

Ted nuzzled his face in Justin’s hair and took a long whiff of the blond’s scent.  He closed his eyes and allowed the aroma to sink into his senses.  There wasn’t enough time in the world and Ted knew that it was now or never.  He wanted to declare his feelings, so he softly touched Justin’s face so the younger man would look at him, but he couldn’t get the words out.  Taking the motto ‘actions speak louder than words’ to heart, Ted leaned in slowly to press his lips against Justin’s when a noise interrupted him and he only got a small taste of Justin’s hair.

 

“I wouldn’t be interrupting anything would I?”  Brian asked, his eyes sternly fixed on Ted.

 

“I was just telling Ted our good news,” Justin replied, immediately rushing into Brian’s arms and lips.  “I know you wanted to surprise everyone at once, but I just had to tell him.  I kinda felt bad not being able to work for him when I had already promised.”

 

“You’ll get over it, right Ted?”  Brian said, not really expecting or wanting an answer.  Brian kissed Justin again, first looking into Ted’s eyes, then into Justin’s.  “Why don’t you show me where I can find Mikey?  So I can know what other disaster’s about to happen.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I’ll tell you on our way to Mikey,” Brian answered, pulling Justin out of the room.

 

Justin waved goodbye to Ted, but Brian only slammed the door, leaving Ted alone in a room full of empty boxes.

 

****

 

“I don’t do hard drugs anymore,” Ramon said, finishing off another beer.  “It seems like the days kind of just slip away.”

 

“I know what you mean,” Blake replied.  “When I cleaned up, I couldn’t believe I was already thir…almost thirty.”

 

“You don’t look a day over 21,” Ben told him.

 

“Who the fuck are you, again?”  Ramon asked, shoving his empty beer bottle in Ty’s hand. The third man appeared bemused.

 

Ty snatched the bottle and stormed away, muttering something about not being a waiter then, remembering he was, grumbling that he wasn’t getting paid.  However, it seemed, no one was listening, or seemed to care.  

 

“Michael’s boyfriend,” Ben replied.  “Michael’s, Brian’s best friend.”

 

“The one with AIDS,” Ramon clarified.

 

“I am HIV positive,” Ben clarified.  

 

“He’s also a professor,” Blake added.  “Aren’t you?”

 

“I’m that as well,” Ben answered, nodding his head.

 

“How can such a smart guy get infected?”  Ramon wondered aloud.

 

“Maybe that’s none of our business,” Blake responded, hoping that he wouldn’t be on the receiving end of one of Ramon’s infamous tantrums.  

 

“No, that’s alright, Blake,” Ben replied.  

 

Ben smiled at Ramon.  Although he lacked tact, Ben felt the man was at least being honest.  Many people wondered about him, but never had the nerve or courage to ask. Instead, most people made assumptions, most of which were wrong and for that reason, they treated him differently.

 

“Sometimes,” Ben told Ramon, “even smart people make stupid decisions.”

 

“You can fucking say that again,” Deb said, butting her way into the conversation.  

 

“Deb,” Ben sighed.  “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

 

“Have you met Vic?”  Blake asked Ramon, tugging him away from the soon to become heated conversation.

 

“Well now I’m here,” she replied harshly.  “Going to Timbuktu are ya?”

 

“Yes, I’ve decided-”

 

“How long?”  Deb demanded.  When Ben couldn’t immediately answer, Deb poked her finger in his chest.  “Six months?  A year?  Two years?”

 

“It could be,” Ben conceded.

 

“Well, I’ll tell you like I told Brian not too fucking long ago,” Deb said flatly.  “Don’t keep my boy hanging on if you can’t commit to him.”

 

“Deb, this is between Michael and me,” Ben tried to explain.

 

“The fuck it is!” Deb snapped.  “Are you going to be around when he needs someone to comfort him?”  She lowered her tone and made sure that Ben understood that she was thinking clearly.  “How long do you expect him to wait around for you?”

 

Ben lowered his head thinking of a response, but it wasn’t needed.  Deb walked away and allowed him more time to think it over.

 

****

 

“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Ty mumbled to himself.  “We’re not even together anymore.  Why the fuck did I even invite his lazy, drunken ass here?  Oh yeah, to try and make another selfish asshole jealous, only that selfish asshole couldn’t give a rat’s ass about me.  Nobody gives a rat’s ass about me.”

 

“I do,” Brook chuckled, leaning on the wall.  

 

“Bullshit,” Ty replied.  “You hate my guts…”

 

“No I don’t,” Brook disagreed.  “Get me a drink…”

 

“Get your own fucking drink,” Ty snapped.  

 

“Scotch on the rocks…”

 

Ty looked at Brook and sighed.  He rolled his eyes, then picked up the bottle of scotch and poured a glass.  Tossing some cubes into the glass, he then handed it to the drugged out Brook.  

 

Brook grabbed Ty’s arm but didn’t resist when the blond tugged away.  Ty grabbed Ramon’s beer and walked off.

 

“Wait,” Brook said and Ty paused.  “Don’t you want your tip?”

 

“It’s on the house,” he flung back over his shoulder.

 

“You deserve someone who gives a shit about you,” Brook replied.  “Or at least makes a better impression than that creep you’re with.”

 

“Tell me something I don’t already know,” Ty said turning.

 

“Alright,” Brook told him.  “I fuck like a wild horse.”

 

“Is that the criteria?”

 

“Brian fucks like a wild horse,” Brook replied.  “It’s been a while for him and me, but his reputation hasn’t suffered over the years.”

 

“You’re nothing like Brian.”

 

“Exactly,” Brook sighed.  “And you’re nothing like Justin.”

 

Ty watched as Brook drained his drink and glanced at Ramon, who was just finishing off another beer.  

 

“You’re right,” Ty replied.  “You’re absolutely right.”

 

****

 

“There he is,” Justin told Brian, pointing to where Michael sat on the steps up to the home.  “Should I come with you?”

 

“No,” Brian replied, “but if you could stick around…”

 

“I’ll be right here.”

 

Brian kissed Justin one more time before walking over to Michael and sitting next to his best friend.  They sat in silence for a few moments before Michael rested his head on Brian’s shoulder.

 

“Ben’s going on his sabbatical,” Michael explained with a sigh.  “He says he might be away from six months to almost two years.”

 

“What do you want me to tell you, Mikey?”

 

“Why do they always leave me?”  Michael asked, almost in tears.

 

“He’s a stupid son of a bitch for leaving,” Brian replied, wrapping an arm around his best friend.  “If it was meant to be then, when he comes back you two can pick up where you left off.”

 

“You don’t believe that.”

 

“You’re right,” Brian sighed.  “But it sounded pretty good.”

 

“I love him,” Michael said as though it would explain it all.  “I really do and I want to be with him.”

 

“If you can’t be with the one you love… _honey_ …love the one you’re with,” Brian quoted, trying not to make it sound like the classic song, but failing so much so that he chuckled. 

 

“It’s not funny,” Michael whined.  “It’s my life!”

 

“I know, Mikey, I know,” Brian replied, hugging his friend tighter.  “But you can’t wait around, especially if you don’t know how long you’d be waiting around…or if it will all be in vain in the end.”

 

“It’s like it’s a death watch,” Michael explained.  “It’s like he’s giving up.”

 

“Ever think it’s his way of fighting?”  Brian asked, knowing Michael hadn’t.  

 

Michael leaned his head on his knees and covered his head with his arms.  He sobbed a little as Brian rubbed his back.

 

“If he needs to go,” Brian told him.  He glanced over at Justin who was talking to Mel, wondering what that was about.  He made a mental note to ask Justin, but kept his focus on the task at hand.  “Let him go.”

 

Michael sat up and wiped away his tears.  He leaned up against Brian again and took comfort knowing that, even though there had been distance between them lately, Brian was there when he needed him most.  It seemed ridiculous that he had ever thought otherwise.  Brian had always been there when he needed him.

 

“Anyway,” Brian sighed.  “I hear that Jimmy thinks you’re hot.  Although, I’ve always questioned his taste in boyfriends.”

 

“How do you know about Jimmy?”

 

“Fucked him a few years back on this trip I had to Los Angeles,” Brian replied, which only made Michael sigh.  “It was a one time thing, but we kept in touch.  He’s a good model.   I’ve even used him on occasion in some of my national ads.  The guy’s so fucking hot he could pitch a box of shit and increase sales.  I’d use him more if he wasn’t so expensive.”

 

“Why’d he be interested in me?”

 

“I haven’t the slightest clue,” Brian replied, taking out a cigarette.  “But he is.  When he found out that we knew each other, he called me up and grilled me about you.”

 

“He did?”

 

“I wouldn’t shit you about that,” Brian said, lighting up his cigarette.  “He’s a good guy.”

 

“He is?”

 

“Yeah, he is,” Brian chuckled, between puffs.  

 

“Look at him,” Michael said, “then look at me.  It doesn’t make any sense.”

 

“Nothing in this fucking world makes much sense, Mikey,” Brian retorted.  “All you can do is try and be happy.  I want you to be happy…just like me.”

 

Michael stared at Brian, and then glanced over at the door where he saw Justin standing outside, looking a bit cold.  He waved and smiled when Justin waved back.  Michael hugged Brian then stood up.

 

“It’s pretty cold out,” Michael said, smiling.  “We should probably get back inside.”

 

****

 

With all the fury of a broken heart, Ted stormed over to Melanie who seemed intent on something herself.  He tugged on her arm to turn her around and spilled some of the margarita she held.  After a quick apology, Ted began his rant, none of which made any sense to Mel, who had plenty on her mind.

 

“Ted, hold on,” Mel said, looking around for a napkin.  “If you want me to understand you in my slightly inebriated haze, I suggest speaking slowly.”

 

“I want him off!  I demand you take him off first thing tomorrow morning!”

 

“You want who off _what_?”  Mel asked, dabbing where her drink had spilled.  “And you demand what be taken off first thing in the morning?  And mind you, I doubt I’ll be doing anything but suffering from a hangover tomorrow morning.”

 

“Brian,” Ted snapped.  “I want him taken off as my executor and I want you to do it as soon as possible!”

 

“Fine,” Mel sighed.  “I’ll do it first thing Monday morning.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get into an argument right now.  We can talk later, alright?”

 

Melanie waited for Ted’s agreement then walked over to a door and opened it.  As soon as she entered the room, Lindsay and Dani stopped arguing.  Without facing her partner, Melanie approached Dani and asked her to inform Brian of Ted’s demand.  

 

“No problem,” Dani replied, sneering at Lindsay.  “I need another drink anyway.”

 

“Mel,” Lindsay exclaimed, once Dani had left the room.  “You cannot believe the shit I’ve been going through out here!”

 

“We need to go home and talk,” Mel said simply.

 

“Wonderful,” Lindsay sighed.  “I’ll just go get Gus.”

 

“No need for that,” Mel informed her partner.  “Gus is going to be spending some time with his Dadda and his Momma or his Ju Ju or whatever Gus wants to call Justin.  Tonight, we have to talk and we shouldn’t have this type of talk with Gus anywhere around.”

 

“Mel, I don’t appreciate you making decisions without consulting me first!” Lindsay argued.  “You haven’t even heard what I was going to tell you-” 

 

“I’ll hear you,” Melanie interrupted, “when we get home…”

 

“I’m not leaving here without Gus!”

 

“You and I are leaving here right now,” Mel informed Lindsay smoothly.  “Or I’m rescinding my parental rights to Gus and handing them right back to Brian.  How’s that for a threat?”

 

****

 

“Mel asked us to take care of Gus for the night and possibly tomorrow,” Justin told Brian as they walked back into the house.  “I hope you don’t mind, but I told her it was fine with us.”

 

“It is,” Brian replied, putting his arm around Justin and lightly kissing his cheek.  

 

“Apparently, Mel says she and Linds need to have a good talk,” Justin informed him.

 

“It’s about time.”

 

“It’s like I’ve been living in a bubble,” Justin replied.  “What the hell is going on?”

 

“I’ll tell you when we get home, Sunshine.”

 

“I’ve been looking for you two,” Emmett said, immediately shoving a half asleep Gus in Brian’s arms.  “I was going to give him to Deb, but she was yelling at Ben.  Then Mel, but she said to look for you two.”

 

“Hey Sonny Boy,” Brian whispered, cradling his son in his arms.   When he saw that Gus was too tired to respond, he turned his attention to Emmett.  “Did Brook ever show?”

 

“He did,” Em replied.  “However, he was high as a kite on I don’t know what.  He could barely stand up.”

 

“Not surprising,” Dani said, as she made her way to the group, martini in hand.  She looked at the group assembled and declared, “This party was a bust.”  

 

“I knew that before I even got here,” Brian remarked.

 

“I tried the best I could,” Emmett replied, almost in tears.

 

“Oh, it wasn’t you, honey, you did a great job,” Dani said honestly.  “It’s the baggage people brought with them.”

 

“I thought the party was great,” Michael offered.  

 

“You haven’t even come inside until now,” Emmett pointed out, much to his roommate’s dismay.  

 

“And I haven’t even had any alcohol,” Brian noted.

 

“Me either,” Justin giggled.  “Go ahead if you want.  I’ll take Gus and drive us home.”

 

“Personally,” Dani snorted.  “I’ve had four glasses of wine and I’m currently on my sixth martini.”    

 

“I think we should just get home,” Brian said.  “Get Sonny Boy to bed.”

 

“Before you do that,” Dani remembered.  “Mel wanted me to tell you that Ted asked her to take you off as his executor.”

 

Brian and Justin exchanged looks.  Though Justin seemed surprised, Brian didn’t.  In fact, for the most part, Brian looked relieved.

 

“Good,” Brian sighed.  “It’s about fucking time.   It’s not like I gave a shit in the first place.”

 

“I wonder what’s up with Ted,” Justin said, looking at Michael and Emmett.  

 

Although both Michael and Emmett appeared to know something, neither appeared to want to discuss it.  Justin looked at Brian, who didn’t seem to care, so he just let it go.    Justin guessed he would have to talk about it with Ted at a later date.

 

“I think I’m going to call it a night,” Michael declared.  “I’m going catch my Mom to see if she and Carl can give me a lift home.”

 

“Me too,” Em said.

 

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” Dani exclaimed.  At first, she meant to only speak to the gang in front of her, but soon she was addressing the rest of the party goers.  “Have you seen the pool?  You guys can’t leave until you’ve seen my indoor/outdoor pool.”

 

“Indoor/outdoor pool?”  Justin gasped, comparing it to the one in their future home.

 

“We’ll actually have a party,” Brian replied, following Dani.  “And not a bunch of people fucking bitching in different corners of the house.  Possibly people fucking, but there won’t be any bitching.”

 

“Only if we christen every room first,” Justin chuckled.

 

“That goes without saying,” Brian said as they arrived at a set of double doors.  

 

“Inside this room is my pool,” Dani informed the group.  “Half of it is indoor, the other half is outside, but if I push a few buttons…the ceiling separates, the doors open and the once indoor/outdoor pool becomes completely outdoor.”

 

“Stop yapping and just show us,” Brian sighed.

 

“Shut up,” Dani snickered.  “There’s also one other surprise I got when I bought this house and I can’t wait to show this one off…”

 

Dani opened the door to the pool area and flicked on the lights.  Inside the room was a large pool, which continued beneath a wall to the outside.  On one side of the pool was a waterfall that fed into the pool.  On the other side were Brook and Ty butt naked, Brook riding Ty doggie style.  Both were so engrossed that neither noticed the lights or the spectators.

 

“Surprise,” Justin laughed.


	17. House Warming, Part 3

The drugs Brook had given him had finally kicked in big time.  All Ty saw was a haze and all he felt was Brook, who was every bit the lover he claimed to be. Something told him that he probably shouldn’t be having sex while there were a bunch of people in the next room.  That something also told him that he probably shouldn’t be having sex with his friend’s boyfriend while his ex, who seemed to be losing his anger management struggles, was not too far away.   However, that wasn’t Ty’s style.  He always seemed to put self gratification before anything and anyone else.

 

Ty looked up, finally seeing Brian, Justin, Emmett and the whole gang watching his ‘sexcapade’.  Brook was still pounding into him steadily, and though Ty didn’t really want him to stop, he also wasn’t an exhibitionist.  However, the drugs he had taken were fully in his system and it seemed talking wasn’t so easy.  Every time he opened his mouth, nothing came out but grunts, to which Brook would say something like, “Oh yeah, baby” or “So good”.  

 

“I guess this would be a great time to tell everyone,” Brian announced, “that Justin and I are moving into a house not too far from here.”  He glanced over at Dannen, whose shock was quickly turning into anger.  “You know…an attempt at a healthy relationship.  Looks like we’ll be neighbors, Dani…isn’t that great?”

 

“Son of a bitch!”  Dani snapped, ignoring Brian altogether.

 

“I knew you wouldn’t take it well, but that’s a bit much,” Brian replied sarcastically.  

 

Brian cradled Gus in his arms, happy his son had dozed off.  Taking Justin’s hand in his own, Brian walked them away from the group, knowing that nothing good was about to happen.  Not that he didn’t want to see the fiasco unfold, in fact he actually wouldn’t have minded front row seats to someone else’s fuck up.  However, there was no way he wanted his son to see any of it…whatever the hell ‘it’ ended up being.  

 

“Michael will fill us in later,” Justin assured Brian as they walked out of the home.  Justin saw the disappointed look on his lover’s face and he smiled. He wanted to see the drama to come as well, but it was best they leave.

 

“I’m sure we’ll be hearing about it for months to come…”

 

****

 

Lindsay had tried to speak with Mel on the way home, but her partner didn’t even glance in her direction.  They sat in silence as Lindsay wondered just exactly what it was that Mel knew about the entire situation.  She thought that they would immediately begin their discussion when they got home, only Mel went into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. Confused and guilt ridden, Lindsay simply sat on the sofa and waited for Mel to join her. 

 

Mel sat down in a chair across from Lindsay and sipped her wine. She drank slowly until she finished her glass, watching Lindsay wiggle in her seat.  Mel refilled her glass and calmly set the bottle she had brought with her on the floor.

 

“You can’t have it both ways,” Mel said softly.  “You do know that, don’t you?”

 

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Lindsay replied, nervously.  She looked longingly into her partner’s eyes a little afraid, though she, unconvincingly, tried to hide it.  “I finally listened to you.  I told Brian that maybe he shouldn’t see Gus anymore.  Maybe I should have listened to you years ago, but I finally did it.”

 

Lindsay smiled, hoping that Mel would return the gesture, but when her partner didn’t, her smile faded.

 

“Mel?”

 

“Brian is Gus’ father,” Mel stated coldly.  “Gus is old enough to know that.  You know that.  In fact, you were the one who reminded me of that when I suggested it.”

 

“I know, but he’s still young,” Lindsay reasoned. Not able to sit next to her lover, she knelt on the floor by Mel’s feet.  “He’ll be upset, but he’ll get over it.  In the end, we’ll be protecting Gus...”

 

“From what?”  Mel asked, tears beginning to flow.  “From a father who’s finally getting his act together?  From his _Ju Ju_ , who isn’t just his favorite babysitter, but is like a father to him?  Is that what you want to do?”

 

“I thought that’s what you wanted to do,” Lindsay gasped, trying to hold Mel’s hand.  “To protect Gus.”

 

“From a father who put himself before anyone and anything else,” Mel clarified.  “But even then I was wrong, suggesting it in the first place.  I was pissed at Brian and wanted to hurt him the only way I knew how…through Gus.  And that’s exactly what you’re doing right now.”

 

“Mel, that’s not what-”

 

“Stop it!”  Mel yelled, slapping Lindsay’s hands away.  “I don’t want to hear anymore of your bullshit lies!”

 

“You just don’t understand-”

 

“Oh, I think I finally do,” Mel disagreed, standing up and walking away from her lover.  

 

“You don’t!”

 

“Then explain it to me,” Mel snapped.  “Why are you so pissed at Brian?”

 

Lindsay opened her mouth and said “He…” only nothing followed.  She licked her lips as she thought about what to say, but could only cry.

 

“What did he do that was so fucking horrible?”  Mel asked, nose flared, eyes wet with tears.  “I think I know…”  Mel wiped her tears away and laughed at the absurdity of her discovery.  “This has nothing to do with Gus.  It has to do with Brian.  Brian finally fell _in love_ …only it’s not you he’s in love with.”

 

****

 

“You son of a bitch!”  Dani yelled as Brook finally realized that there were other people in the room.  

 

“Oh shit,” Brook gasped, stopping mid thrust.  

 

“Hey,” Ty yelped, sandwiched between a wicker poolside chair and Brook.  “Can you get the fuck outta me?!”

 

Em whimpered as Brook backed out and pulled up his pants.  Sobbing, he ran through the crowd and away from the spectacle of his boyfriend screwing one of his friends in front of the entire party he put together. 

 

Michael intended to run after Emmett but didn’t when he saw Ramon dash into the room.  Although he wanted to kick the crap out of both Ty and Brook himself, Michael was shocked to see that someone was actually doing it.  Ramon punched Brook in the gut once and shoved him backwards, sending the man into the swimming pool, but that seemed like nothing compared to what was to come to Ty.  The blond hadn’t even gotten his clothes back on when Ramon punched him in the face, over and over again with such vehemence that blood splattered all over the wall behind them.  Michael thought ‘someone please stop him’ when he saw Carl wrestle Ramon to the ground with the help of several lesbians.  

 

Debbie stood in shock as Carl slammed Ramon’s face to the floor and set his knee on the angry man’s back.  Seeing that the situation was finally under some control, she glanced over at Michael and saw that he was just as stunned. 

 

“Oh mmy Gggoddd,” Michael finally stuttered out.  He stared at Ty’s bloodied face and couldn’t help but touch his own.  He had always talked about ‘kicking Ty’s ass’, but never imagined actually doing it.  Seeing the blond on the floor crying he moved towards Ty, only to have his mother stop him.

 

“You see about Emmett,” Deb said.  “I’ll take care of Ty.”

 

Debbie knew the friction between her son and Ty and didn’t want the beaten young man to feel any worse than he already was.  Michael only wanted to help, but young gay men were her specialty.   She saw that Blake and a couple of the other women were already helping Ty.   Deb relieved the two other women and took Ty into the living room.

 

“The rest of my stuff’s in boxes,” Dani said, handing Deb a first aid kit.  She looked at Ty’s face and fought back tears.  Just looking at the blond made her want to cry, seeing one of his eyes already so swollen that she was sure he couldn’t see out of it. “Carl’s made a call to his people and they’re on their way.”

 

“No, no, no, no,” Ty repeated, crying.  “You can’t send him to jail!  When he gets out, it’s going to be worse!  He knows where I live now!”

 

“Don’t worry about a thing, kiddo” Dani assured him.  “I’m sure Carl and his guys will make it perfectly clear to that asshole that he crossed the line…and when he sees that I’m the DA he’s going to have to deal with, he’ll think twice before ever coming near you again.”

 

“Why do I do this to myself?”  Ty cried as Blake wiped blood from his cheek.

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Deb sighed, holding his hand.  

 

“Are we going to be ok at our place?”  Blake wondered.

 

“Ramon’s most definitely spending the night in jail,” Dani guaranteed him.  She caught a wet Brook sneaking through the room and had to keep herself from screaming at him.  Instead, she told Ty that everything was going to be fine and promised to take care of everything.  

 

Dani stormed through the hallways until she reached Brook’s bedroom.  Not bothering to knock, she slammed the doors open only to see her husband changing clothes.

 

“Do you not even give a shit about that poor kid?!”

 

Brook opened his mouth to answer, but only gasped for air.  He slumped to his bed and held his face, glad Dani couldn’t distinguish the tears on his already wet face.  

 

“He just hit me…”

 

“You?”  Dani snarled.

 

“I thought to myself the second I came out of that water, I was going to kick his short ass,” Brook explained, trying not to sob.  “But, he wasn’t really after me…he was going after Ty.”

 

“What Ramon did may not be right,” Dani said, sternly.  As Brook’s bottom lip trembled, she saw a tear fall.  Although she was surprised by Brook’s display of sensitivity, it didn’t change anything.  It most definitely didn’t change anything for Ty.  “But this is what happens, Brook.  It’s called ‘consequences’ and, right now, Ty’s paying for the both of you.”

 

“I didn’t mean-”

 

“What, Brook?”  Dani wondered aloud.  “You didn’t mean to fuck Ty?  You didn’t mean to hurt Emmett?  You didn’t mean to embarrass yourself and me while you were at it?  Tell me Brook, what didn’t you mean?”

 

“I didn’t mean to be such a fuck up…”

 

“Too bad,” Dani snapped.  “You are.”

 

****

   

As Brian drove, Justin couldn’t help but stare at the man he loved.  He looked away on occasion, but was always drawn back.  He wished he could slide next to Brian, but the jeep was a stick, so Justin had to settle for staring.  Though Brian was trying to pay close attention to the road, he smiled, feeling Justin’s eyes on him.    

 

“I’m glad Gus was asleep for all that,” Brian said, rubbing Justin’s knee with his one free hand.  

 

“Me too,” Justin agreed, inching himself as close to Brian as he could.  

 

Glanced at the back seat to assure himself that Gus was still asleep, Justin chewed on his bottom lip, telling himself to let his concerns go.

 

“What’s the matter?”  Brian asked, wishing he could do more than just glance Justin’s way. 

 

“Nothing,” Justin chuckled, trying to play it off.  

 

“I thought we weren’t going to do this anymore,” Brian stated.

 

“You’re right,” Justin sighed.  “I just…”  

 

Justin tried to think of a way to speak to Brian so that he didn’t seem like he was prying, or being possessive, or any of the many other things he thought Brian might find wrong with his question.  However, after hearing Brian’s reply, he knew that not saying anything at all would be going back to their old routine.  Justin could remember a time, when they first met, when he would say whatever was on his mind, no matter how silly it might sound.  Then, slowly, he began to change for Brian, so that he would be everything Brian might want.  Justin guessed that’s where things started to go awry for him.  For both of them.  They’re just words, Justin thought, if he doesn’t like them, he’s going to have to find a way to live with them.

 

Brian parked the car in front of the loft and cut the engine.  He glanced back at Gus and then turned back to Justin, waiting for some sort of reply.

 

“What did you ever see in them?”  Justin asked flatly.  “I mean, I get that Brook’s an old friend…but Ty?  What the hell did you see in that little pain in the ass?”

 

“You know…”

 

“Forget it,” Justin sighed, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door, only to close it again.  He didn’t know and that was the problem.  Justin knew he’d be making an assumption and that wasn’t good enough.  “No.   I asked, you answer.  I deserve that much, don’t you think?”

 

Brian sighed and rolled his eyes.  

 

“He was just a shell,” Brian explained.  Though talking things out wasn’t his style, Brian knew Justin was right.  His every instinct told him that if he didn’t open up to Justin, that they might slip into their old ways, which would prove disastrous for their relationship. That was unacceptable.   “Something to hold onto…while you were… _away_.”

 

Justin looked away from his lover, feeling like a complete ass for making such a big deal out of it.  Only, the more he thought about it, the more it didn’t make any sense to him.  There was clearly something missing and he didn’t know what it was.  There was a fear inside of him that thought that, maybe Brian actually had feelings for Ty.  The mere idea scared him more than anything.  

 

“Alright,” Justin replied, facing Brian as best he could.  “I guess I can understand, but…”  

 

Justin watched Brian’s face twitch and knew that he might be pushing further than he should at this point in their relationship.  He had to remember they were taking baby steps together and sharing, for Brian, always seemed like a huge leap.  However, Justin’s instincts were telling him to say what he had to say, ask what he had to ask.  Although it might get on Brian’s nerves, at least his lover would know what was on Justin’s mind.  And if he was completely open, maybe Brian would feel more comfortable being so as well.

 

“I know that we might look sorta similar…to the untrained eye,” Justin began, “but…we’re nothing alike. Ty and I are like day and night…”

 

“I know, Sunshine,” Brian said softly.  He looked up at the loft and leaned back in his seat.  “Do you know how Ty came to stay with me?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied, recalling Ty’s enjoyment in relating the story of Brian saving his life.  “His boyfriend was beating him up in some alley and you whisked in like Rage and saved the day.  So?”

 

“So…” Brian repeated, looking into Justin’s eyes.  He wanted Justin to understand, but it was clear that he was going to have to explain it further.  That was something he didn’t want to do.  

 

“Brian, I want to understand,” Justin sighed, seeing the look on Brian’s face.  “I know you think I _should_ know, but I don’t.  I can’t read your mind.  I wish I could.  It would have saved the both of us a lot of grief.”

 

“He was on the ground in an alleyway,” Brian explained, never taking his eyes from Justin’s.  “All I could see was the top of his head as he was getting hit over and over again…and I didn’t see Ramon and Ty.  I saw…”

 

“Chris Hobbs and me,” Justin answered, the revelation hitting him like a ton of bricks.  He took Brian’s hand in his own.

 

“I saved Ty’s life just about as much as I saved yours,” Brian scoffed.      

 

“You saved me,” Justin replied, a tear making its way down his cheek.  “And from what Ty’s told me about Ramon, you really did save him too.”

 

Brian shook his head no as Justin climbed over the shift and straddled him.  Although the steering wheel was poking into his back, Justin didn’t care.  He needed to be close to Brian and, when his lover’s arms wrapped around him, he knew Brian needed it as well.  

 

“We can’t turn back time,” Justin said, “but know this…you saved me and you _are_ my hero.  I love you so much.”  

 

Brian rubbed Justin’s cheek, in awe of the young man before him.  

 

“I’m so special,” Justin told him, “because you love me.”

 

“I think you may have that backwards.”

              

“Yeah?”  Justin wondered aloud.  “Which part?”

 

“All of it.”

 

Remembering the baby steps they were taking, Justin kissed Brian instead of prodding further into his lover’s feelings for him.  Instead, he tried to unzip Brian’s pants only to have Brian stop him.

 

“What’s wrong?”  Justin wondered. 

 

“Gus,” Brian reminded him.

 

Justin glanced over and, seeing that they hadn’t disturbed the boy, sighed.  All he needed was to have Gus ask Lindsay what Dadda and Ju Ju were doing jumping on each other making loud noises.  

 

“This is why we need Gus to have his own room,” Justin replied, wanting to laugh.  “Lindsay would kill us if Gus ever caught us in the act.”

 

“We’ll take a shower, when we get upstairs,” Brian reasoned, a relaxed smile on his face.  “Cause, you know…I’m feeling kind of dirty.”

 

Justin opened the door and stumbled out of the jeep.  He went around to the other side of the vehicle where he grabbed Gus’ bag as Brian gently removed his son from his car seat.  

 

“But, you’re right,” Brian agreed, closing the jeep door.  “He does need his own room.”

 

“I was thinking,” Justin said.  “Maybe we could skip the house warming party…”

 

“Never,” Brian replied.  “We’ll just have the music on so loud that no one can hear what anyone else has to say.”

 

“And as much as I love Em, no themes,” Justin said, “or kids…”

 

“Or lesbians,” Brian added.  “I know I’d have a much better time.”

 

“I wonder what Mel and Linds are talking about right now.”

 

“I wonder what you’re going to look like naked in the shower.”

 

“You know what I look like,” Justin laughed.

 

Brian cocked his eyebrow and, instantly, Justin understood.  Justin may not have always understood everything Brian felt, but he always seemed to know what Brian desired.  It was just a look on Brian’s face, but Justin knew that what Brian wanted was him.  Not Ty, not Brook, not some random trick, but him.  Justin Taylor.  

 

The pair walked into the building secure in their own relationship, though they couldn’t help but think of their friends.  They knew that each had their own demons to confront, but there was little they could do to help them.  Brian and Justin just reveled in the fact that, this time, it wasn’t about them.  They were in their own heaven.   However, for their friends, it seemed the aftermath had just begun.  


	18. The Aftermath

Justin lay quietly, content to simply watch Brian sleep.  He wanted to get up, but couldn’t take his eyes away from his lover.  Normally Brian slept on his stomach facing away from Justin, but since the blond’s return, they laid together, intertwined.  It was a moment Justin didn’t want to end.  He whispered “I love you” then kissed Brian softly on the lips when he heard small feet padding their way towards the bed.

 

“Dada,” Gus said, prompting Justin to turn and face him.  Seeing his other Dadda watching, Gus immediately started pawing for him.  “Ju Ju, Ju Ju!”

 

“Shh, Gussie,” Justin replied, removing himself from Brian’s arms.  “Dadda’s sleeping.”  Justin eased off the bed and picked up the young boy.  “Yucky.  Who needs a diaper change?”

 

“Me,” Gus giggled, pinching his nose.  “Stinky.”

 

“You’re stinky,” Justin teased as he changed the diaper.  “Stinky Gussie.”

 

“You’re stinky!”

 

“Shh,” Justin reminded him, finishing the change.  “Stinky boy.”

 

Gus covered his mouth so he wouldn’t wake his Dadda, but he still laughed.  When Justin offered him his choice, he decided he wanted cereal for breakfast instead of scrambled eggs.  Gus ate his cereal quickly, and then asked Ju Ju if he wanted to play.

 

“Ju Ju’s gotta get Dadda up now,” Justin told him, receiving a frown and jutted out bottom lip.  “You want to watch TV?”

 

“Spongebob!”

 

“Sure you can watch Spongebob,” Justin replied, picking up Justin and taking him to the television.  He put in a tape of the cartoon and waited until it began before strolling back into the bedroom, mumbling, “You can’t pronounce Justin, but you have Spongebob down pat.”

 

Although Brian’s eyes were closed, Justin knew his lover was awake, so he pounced.  Justin pinned Brian down on the bed, kissing the man he loved until he felt both of their needs heighten.   

 

“Let’s take a shower,” Brian groaned, grabbing a hold of Justin’s plump bottom.  “I think I need a taste of this.”

 

“I’d love to give you a taste,” Justin whispered, almost out of breath, “as much as I’d love my protein, but...” Justin pointed to the living room.   “Spongebob can’t baby-sit for us.  Gus is still too young.”

 

“Fuck!”

 

“Shh…”

 

“Fuck,” Brian repeated, only this time in a whisper.  He caressed Justin’s cheek as he thought.  “If you still want a little protein, I can be the look out.”

 

“Brian…”

 

“Just put your head under the covers,” Brian suggested.  “He won’t even know.”

 

“Juice Dadda,” Gus asked, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. 

 

“Go watch Spongebob and Ju Ju will bring you some, OK?”  Brian replied as Justin smirked at him.  With a sigh, he had to admit that sex was probably not the best idea with his son running around the loft.  “Your point is proven.”

 

“He most definitely needs his own room,” Justin said, though he knew he wasn’t telling Brian something his partner didn’t already know.

 

“We’re signing the papers on Wednesday after I get off work,” Brian reminded him.  “Hopefully around 6:30 PM; that is if I can convince some asshole that he needs advertising to sell umbrellas.”

 

“You will,” Justin assured him.  “You always do.”

 

Brian watched as Justin sauntered into the kitchen to get Gus his juice.  After handing the boy his toddler cup, Justin strolled through the bedroom into the bathroom.  He turned on the shower then poked his head back into the bedroom.

 

“I wish you could come in here with me,” Justin moaned.

 

“Stop teasing,” Brian replied, tossing his pillow, though he only hit the door.

 

“So are we going shopping or what?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You think we should call Mel or Linds?”  Justin asked, not really wanting to call.  If any calls to Lindsay were going to be made, he knew Brian would have to make them.  And from Justin had been told, Brian had absolutely no intention of saying one word to Lindsay.

 

“No,” Brian said sternly.  Having heard his own harsh tone, he softened his voice and continued, “Mel knows where Gus is and if she wants me, she can call me on my cell.”

 

“OK,” Justin agreed with a smile.  “But are we going to at least call Michael and see what happened after we left the party?”

 

“Nah,” Brian replied.  “I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough.”

 

****

   

As soon as Michael woke up, he padded quietly into the kitchen and looked for something to eat.  Not wanting to prepare anything elaborate, he settled for a bowl of cereal and sat on the sofa while he ate. Several bites into his breakfast there was a knock on the door, though he didn’t really want to answer it.  He just knew Ben was on the other side, so after he opened the door, he simply went back to the sofa and continued to eat.  

 

“I thought we should talk,” Ben said, coming inside and closing the door behind him.  

 

“Are you staying?”  Michael asked.

 

“No-”

 

“Then what do we have to talk about?”

 

“I still love you, Michael,” Ben replied, taking a seat next to his boyfriend.  

 

“Wonderful,” Michael snapped, tossing his spoon into his cereal bowl, splashing milk everywhere.  “A lot of good it does me when you’re half away around the world.”

 

“That’s not fair-”

 

“Then stay!”

 

“You know I can’t,” Ben sighed, trying to touch Michael only to have him stand and walk away.  

 

“Then let me come with you,” Michael offered.

 

“You can’t,” Ben explained.  “This is a journey I have to make on my own.  It’s a journey of the soul and of the mind.”

 

“Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way,” Michael replied, a tear falling down his cheek.  “I guess we’ve officially talked.  So, can you leave now?”

 

“This isn’t what I meant by talking,” Ben answered.

 

“I can’t wait for you indefinitely.”

 

“I know,” Ben concurred. 

 

“Then what do you want?”  

 

“I want to spend some time with you before I go,” Ben replied, taking Michael’s hand in his own.  “I may be leaving, but that doesn’t mean that I’m just going to stop loving you or stop thinking about you.”

 

Leaning in slowly, Ben kissed the man he loved, wrapping his arm around Michael’s waist.  The embrace tasted like a piece of heaven for them both, but it was short lived.  Michael pulled away from Ben, though it was clear he didn’t want to.

 

“I can’t do this,” Michael sniffled.

 

“Michael, I am coming back,” Ben said, moving closer.  “I know you’ll see other guys, but I also know you love me.  When I get back-”

 

“Ben,” Michael stopped him.  “When you get back…I might be here with no one, waiting for you.  Or I might have found someone else to love.  I really don’t know.  What I do know is that I need for you to leave…”

 

“Michael,” Ben whispered.

 

“If you love me,” Michael warned.  “If you really love me, then you’ll let me go.  If we’re meant to be, then I’ll be waiting here for you when you come back.  If not, then you’ll know you made the biggest mistake of your life leaving me.  Either way I need a clean break, which means I need you to leave.  Now.”

 

Without a word, Ben walked to the door and opened it.  He looked back at Michael one last time, but his now former lover had turned away.  Ben wanted to remind Michael that he loved him, but now it seemed like a moot point.  Instead, he walked out of the door, closing it silently behind him.

 

****

 

Lindsay walked downstairs quietly, hoping to catch Mel still sleeping.  However, when she went in the living room she saw that Mel was already awake, drinking a cup of coffee.

 

“Is there anymore?”  Lindsay asked.  

 

When Mel didn’t answer, Lindsay went into the kitchen and poured herself a cup coffee.  She took a few sips before nervously walking back into the living room only to pause at the doorway.  She wanted Mel to say something, but her partner wasn’t in a talking mood, or so it seemed.

 

“You didn’t have to sleep on the sofa,” Lindsay said.  “I really missed you last night.”

 

Mel took off her glasses and looked up at her partner.  She didn’t look angry, nor did she look sad.  Mel looked suspicious, like a lawyer with a hostile witness.  

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?”  

 

“I don’t know,” Mel replied sternly.  “Maybe it’s because I’m wondering if you’re just telling me another one of your lies.”

 

“That’s not fair!”

 

“Well let’s start off with an easy one,” Mel said, her experience as an attorney kicking in.  “Did you help Emmett with Dani’s party?”

 

Lindsay sighed, resisting her tears.  She then turned away and replied, “No.”

 

“Where did you go when you told me you were helping Emmett?”

 

“Shopped,” Lindsay admitted.  “I wanted to tell you, but-”

 

“I just want your answers, not your excuses,” Mel interrupted. “So…why are you so mad at Brian?”

 

“I’m not…” Lindsay began, only to stop herself.  She was about to make another excuse and she knew Mel would not tolerate it.  It was the look in Mel’s eyes.  Those normally warm, inviting eyes gazed at Lindsay so coldly, it made her stomach churn.  All she could do was tell the truth and hope Mel would understand.  “I don’t know.  Honestly, I don’t know.”

 

“Then I guess I’d better tell you,” Mel said, much to Lindsay’s surprise.  “Because, though it took me a while, I finally understand.  I finally got it.”

 

****     

 

Ty woke feeling like he had the mother of all hangovers.  When he sat up, he remembered why his face was throbbing and he cringed.  He looked down at the pillow he slept on and saw that it had a blood soaked towel draped across it.  Feeling movement in the bed beside him, Ty turned to see Brook shifting around,  and eased himself off the bed to walk to a nearby mirror.  With one look Ty cringed, seeing one swollen eye, a fat lip and bruises everywhere.  

 

Wearing only his boxers and Brook’s t-shirt, Ty padded down the halls towards the smell of coffee.  He walked into the kitchen and saw Dani sitting at a table holding a steaming hot cup of coffee, reading a newspaper.  Ty started towards the coffee maker when Dani stopped him and ordered him to sit down, which he did without hesitation.  

 

“You should really go to a hospital,” Dani suggested, handing Ty a hot cup of coffee.  

 

“Why,” Ty sighed, “I already know the drill.  All they’re going to do is take my money and tell me to seek some help.”

 

“That sounds like a good idea.”

 

Ty didn’t want to answer so he put the cup to his lips, but he couldn’t drink.  Not only was the coffee too hot, it burned the cut on his lip.  Ty put the cup on the table and resisted the tears that threatened to fall.  

 

“Why do you put up with shit like that?”  Dani asked, scooting her chair closer to Ty’s.  When the blond said nothing, she whispered, “You do know that nothing you did impressed Brian, right?  In fact, I’d think that it had the opposite effect.”

 

“I know…”

 

“Then why?”

 

“I don’t know,” Ty admitted, wiping away a tear that finally fell.  “Brian paid attention to me…even when he didn’t. I could just sense he was ready…to take care of someone.  I wanted it to be me, but…”

 

“He’s in love with Justin,” Dani finished.  

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You do know Brook isn’t even close to that, right?”  Dani asked, taking Ty’s hand in her own.  

 

“I can handle him fucking other guys,” Ty replied.  “He’s like Brian, only not ready yet.  The one bonus is that he’s not afraid to say ‘I love you’, even though it’s probably just a pile of shit.  It’s nice to hear sometimes.”

 

“Ty, you deserve-”

 

“Don’t tell me what I deserve,” Ty interrupted, not able to suppress his tears.  He faced Dani and made sure she understood what he meant.  “I know what I deserve…and it’s not Ramon.  Brook, Brook is better than Ramon. He’s way, way better than Ramon.”

 

“I agree,” Dani replied, patting Ty’s hand.  She knew that Ty was probably better off trying to live without a man, but she also knew how needy the young man was.  She wasn’t sure if he was ready to live on his own, so she tried to ease his worries. “I agree.”

 

“You agree about what?”  Brook asked, strolling into the kitchen and taking a seat next to Ty.  

 

“That Ty should stay here for a while,” Dani answered, smiling when she saw the surprised look on Ty’s face.  “But only until he heals.”

 

“Sounds good,” Brook replied, taking Ty’s cup and sipping from it.  “Needs more sugar.”

 

“You want me to stay here with you?”  Ty wondered aloud, very much in disbelief.  

 

“Sure, Blondie,” Brook chuckled, softly touching Ty’s face.  “I play doctor real well.”

 

“Really?”  Ty cried.

 

“He’s crying,” Brook stated, taking Ty in his arms.  He held his new lover in his arms and looked at his wife.  “He’s crying…”

 

“I thought you wouldn’t want me,” Ty mumbled.  “Dani thought…”

 

“What the fuck does she know?”  Brook replied, rolling his eyes at Dani.  “She’s my wife.”  

 

“Fuck you,” Dani sniped.  

 

“You can stay as long as you want to,” Brook amended.

 

“Don’t tell me I lost another roommate,” Blake said, walking into the kitchen.

 

“I’m staying here for a couple of days,” Ty told Blake, while holding on to Brook.  “Or until my wounds are mostly healed.”

 

“Oh,” Blake sighed.  “I wouldn’t know where to start looking for a new roommate to come live with me in that dump.”

 

“You could always ask Ted to move in,” Ty said, finally cracking a smile.

 

“I can’t even keep track of him,” Blake replied, pouring himself a cup of coffee.  “He just took off last night and he was my ride.”

 

Dani stood up and poured herself another cup of coffee.  Her first instinct was to mention what Melanie had told her about Ted and Brian, but she kept it to herself.  There was no need to cause any more drama.  Their weekend had had more than enough.  It seemed, however, that Brook didn’t mind.

 

“So you think Em’ll get over it?”  Brook wondered aloud.  

 

“Yeah right,” Blake scoffed.  “Did you see the way he ran out of here?”

 

“He’ll get over it,” Brook supposed.  “It’s not like we were a match made in heaven.”

 

“And we are?”  Ty asked.

 

“You give a shit I fuck other guys?”

 

“No really,” Ty replied.

 

“Then we’re a match,” Brook laughed.  “Not exactly in heaven, but I assure you it’ll feel like it.”

 

“You two do understand that you may have lost a friend,” Dani told them.

 

“It’s his own fault,” Ty reasoned.  “He said I could have Brook.”

 

**** 

 

Emmett heard the sound of talking when he woke up, so he stayed in bed a while longer.  He waited until he heard the door close before getting up and strolling into the front room.  

 

“Michael, you’re crying into you’re your cereal,” Em said, feeling his stomach rumble.

 

He sat down next to Michael and held his roommate in his arms, crying with him.  Although he didn’t know exactly what had transpired that morning, he could guess it had to do with Ben and he sympathized.  Not that Ben was anything like Brook, but Em supposed it didn’t matter.  A broken heart feels just as bad no matter who was the one who gave it to you.  

 

“Let it all out,” Em told him.  “You just cry until you can’t anymore.  I know I am.”

 

“I told him I couldn’t see him anymore,” Michael cried.  “He wanted to spend more time with me, but I told him I couldn’t. It’s too hard.  I love him so much and he’s just leaving me.  It doesn’t make any sense because he says he loves me too.”

 

“Maybe this is just a test,” Em suggested.  “Maybe he’ll be gone for a couple of months and figure out he has to come back just to be with you.  And when he comes back, you two can just pick up right where you left off.”

 

“That’s what he said,” Michael replied, as he wiped his tears away.  “But, I can’t just sit around waiting for him to come back.  Not that I’m expecting to find anyone or that I expect to fall in love or anything, but…”

 

“There _are_ other fish in the sea,” Em agreed.  “Like snapper, catfish and a hot little number named Jimmy.”

 

“That’s what Brian said.”

 

“Something’s wrong in the world when I’m agreeing with Brian,” Em sighed.

 

“What’s wrong with me?”  Michael asked, feeling his tears about to return.

 

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing about myself,” Em told him.  “I’m the one who was dating a guy ten times worse than  Brian ever was.  And before you say ‘I told you so”, I want to remind you that I ignored just about everyone when it came to Brook…Dani, Justin and even Brian.”

 

“Why didn’t you listen?”

 

“I don’t know,” Em replied, tears starting again.  “It was just…after that whole fiasco with Ted…I hurt him so bad.  I didn’t mean to, but I did.  It was like I wasn’t trying hard enough or giving it enough time…like with George.  If I would’ve opened up sooner with him…we could have had more time.  And I knew I couldn’t be with Ted, and Brook…he can be so sweet…”

 

“Brook isn’t George,” Michael said.  “George really loved you and you really loved him.”

 

“Maybe I don’t deserve love,” Em ventured.  “The way I treated my best friend…”

 

“You deserve love,” Michael disagreed, “and so does Ted.”

 

“No I don’t…”

 

“Yes you do!”  Michael exclaimed, on his way to the phone.  “And so do I.  That’s why I’m calling Jimmy and who knows who else?  Maybe Nicky needs a friend since Justin gave him the heave ho.”

 

****   

 

As Brian purchased a few shirts that Justin had tried on, Justin checked on Gus in the stroller.  They went shopping as soon as they had gotten ready and though they had wanted to call Melanie or Lindsay, they’d decided that they would just take Gus with them.  Justin sat in a chair watching Gus and sighed.  He really didn’t  know what to expect from Gus’ mother and it bothered him.  It seemed that, for some reason, Lindsay was upset with him and Brian and was using Gus as her leverage.  It also seemed as if Mel was on Brian’s side and Justin didn’t know how to take that unexpected development.  

 

The normal scenario usually had Brian and Lindsay against Mel, or Brian against Mel with Lindsay trying to calm the issue, whatever it might be.  Justin had always felt he was on the outside of these arguments looking in.  Now it looked like he was on the inside looking out and he didn’t like it at all.  He had never been on the receiving end of Lindsay’s discontent before.  What surprised him most was her threat that neither he nor Brian would ever see Gus again.  The idea made him sick to his stomach. 

 

“We should get more shoes,” Brian said, carrying several bags of clothes along with the purchases he’d just made.  “I know this place where they sell imported-”

 

Brian stopped and watched Justin staring at Gus.  Although Brian saw that Justin was looking right at Gus, he knew that his mind was elsewhere.  He dropped his bags on the floor and knelt down so that he could talk to Justin face to face.  

 

“Justin,” Brian said softly.  “What the matter?”

 

Snapped out of his haze, Justin stood up and replied, “Nothing.”

 

“Justin…”

 

“Can we at least walk to another store?”  Justin asked.

 

Brian’s only reply was to pick up the bags.  He walked beside his lover as Justin pushed the stroller.  Brian wasn’t exactly sure what was on Justin’s mind, but he had a feeling that it had to do with Lindsay and Melanie.  Brian had been thinking about it all morning himself, only he had done so without letting Justin know.  He’d wanted to spend a nice day with Justin and his son without thinking it could be one of his last.  

 

“I just hope that Mel can…” Justin began, not wanting to say it out loud, but knowing he should.  “Slap some sense into Linds.”

 

“I know,” Brian replied with a sigh.  “But don’t worry about it.  Remember Dani said she would help if it comes to that.  But I have a feeling it won’t.  Mel will make sure of that.  We’ll get our time with Gus.”

 

Justin nodded, wishing they hadn’t bought so much, the bags between them making it hard to get close.  He wanted Brian to hold him, but he settled for a kiss instead.  They walked into another store and, immediately, Brian started sifting through shirts.  

 

“What about this one?”  Brian asked, holding up a shirt.  “It matches your eyes.”

 

“It’s a plain blue shirt,” Justin sighed.  “Don’t we have enough plain shirts?  Can’t we get something with a design or something?”

 

Justin searched a rack for a shirt that he liked and held it up for Brian to look at.  “How about this one?  It matches my eyes too.”

 

“What’s with the squiggly lines?”  Brian wondered.  “If they match your eyes, you must be high.”

 

Justin placed the shirt back in its place and rolled his eyes.  He moved to a nearby rack and found another shirt that caught his eye.

 

“How about this one?”  Justin asked, holding it up.  Seeing the look on Brian’s face, Justin turned to Gus and asked the young boy what he thought.  “I think Gus likes it.”

 

“He also likes to find stuff on the floor and stick it in his mouth.”

 

“Kind of like his daddy,” Justin laughed, putting the shirt back.

 

“He’s adorable,” a woman told the couple.  When Brian and Justin looked at her she added, “I have two of my own.  They’re a blessing to me as I’m sure he’s a blessing to you two.”

 

“He is, thanks” Justin replied, seeing Brian roll his eyes.  When the woman walked away from them, he shoved Brian a little.  “You should have said something.”

 

“Whatever,” Brian replied, though the truth was he didn’t know what to say.  

 

“Well, I can’t wait until we have our own,” Justin said, “but as much as I love Gus,  I know we’re not ready yet to take care of our own baby.”  Noting that Brian wasn’t disagreeing, he continued.  “Maybe in another 5, 10 years, you know, when you’re mature enough.”

 

“Mature enough?” Brian snorted.

 

“Yeah, when you’re a big boy,” Justin chuckled.  “And we’re going to adopt, because I think I’m done dealing with lesbians.”

 

“We can at least agree on that.”

 

“Among other things,” Justin replied.  He couldn’t help his smile, seeing that Brian wasn’t resisting as much as he had expected.  Justin guessed it was because the idea of another baby was something that didn’t have to be dealt with immediately.  It made Justin feel giddy.  “Because you love me.”

 

Brian replied by kissing Justin softly.  As much as we wanted to be as happy as his lover, fighting over Gus with Lindsay was still on his mind.  

 

“She’d better get her act together,” Justin said, as if reading Brian’s mind.  “Not for us, but for Gus’ sake.  He needs his Dadda.”

 

“And his Ju Ju,” Brian added, kissing Justin again.  

 

“And you said Dani’s gonna help if it gets out of hand?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian replied.  “Dani’s a bitch, but she’s never lied to me.”

 

“I hope so,” Justin sighed.  “I hope so.”

 

****

 

Mel paced the room while she thought of how to say what had been on her mind since she overheard the heated discussion between Lindsay and Dani the evening before.  The entire night had been spent recalling every event in the past seven years and what it had to do with Brian.  Melanie had always put the blame on Brian, but after last night, she wasn’t so sure it was entirely his fault after all.

 

“Mel-”

 

“It’s my turn,” Mel interrupted.  “You’ve had enough time to tell me what’s going on, but you haven’t.  So, you’re going to sit there and listen to me…as I’ve done for you.”

 

Mel took a deep breath and sighed.  She had so much to say, but she didn’t know where to start.  There were tons of events in the last 7 years that bothered her about Lindsay and Brian’s relationship, but none so much as what took place about a year ago.  It was then that Justin seemed to become more than just another one of Brian’s fancies.  It was at that point that Lindsay started acting differently and that bothered Mel more than anything.  

 

“You’re in love with Brian,” Mel said bluntly.  When Lindsay opened her mouth to speak, Melanie pointed her finger at her partner to stop.  

 

“Mel-”

 

“No!”  Mel snapped, halting Lindsay once again.  “It was too weird.  At first you were so enthusiastic about Brian’s relationship with Justin.  Now I see that’s because you probably didn’t think Brian could ever fall for anyone, let alone some lovesick teenager.  

 

“Then you started to see that maybe Brian might be falling in love with Justin.  I never understood why you weren’t mad that Brian wasn’t at our wedding.  Then he once told me that he tried to give you his tickets to Miami as a present, but you told him to go and have fun.  You didn’t want him at our wedding.  In fact, it’s my guess that you wanted Brian to go to Miami so that he’d stay the same ole Brian.  Off whoring.  Loving no one but himself…and possible you and Gus.  Am I right?”

 

“We didn’t need the tickets,” Lindsay reasoned.

 

“And you say Michael is in denial,” Mel scoffed.  “But, see that’s not it, is it? You and I introduced Justin to Ethan, or have you forgotten that?”

 

“So, you’re in love with Brian too?”  

 

“Oh no,” Mel laughed, though there was nothing funny about the situation.  “I admit it.  I really could care less about Brian’s love life.  I did it for Justin, because Justin needed someone who loved him…”

 

“We’ve had this discussion!”  Lindsay answered.  “About how Brian gave Justin a hustler for his birthday and how Justin didn’t deserve that.  How he deserved better.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Mel agreed.  “But you’re supposed to be one of Brian’s best friends.  You…no, we encouraged Justin to see Ethan.  Me?  Brian expects shit like this from me, but you?  The last time I checked, a best friend doesn’t backstab their friends like that.

 

“I think the clincher was when you basically told Justin that Brian would never change.  I believed it too, but I was wrong.  I had no reason to have faith in him, but you supposedly did.  We encouraged Justin to meet other men.  Now that I look back at it I have to wonder what type of friends we really were.  Brian would have done better to keep Justin away from us altogether.”

 

“You’re saying that we weren’t right?”  Lindsay asked.  “About Justin deserving to be treated better. We were right!”

 

“We were,” Mel agreed, “but we took it too far.  Brian was supposed to be our friend and we betrayed him.  I know why I did it: because he was an ass that didn’t deserve Justin.  Why did you do it?”

 

“Justin’s too young to settle down with Brian,” Lindsay answered.

 

“Justin’s already settling down with Brian,” Mel corrected.  “Which brings me to the last straw – the one that finally slapped some sense into me.  

 

“I never had a problem with Gus calling Justin Momma, or Dadda or whatever.  Because I know how it feels to be the non-biological parent.  If it were Ty or some other trick, I would have a problem with it, but it wasn’t.  It’s Justin.  Justin has been there since the day Gus was born.  In fact, you were the one who took his advice about Gus’ name.  Justin’s has always been a part of Gus’ life, even after he and Brian broke up.  

 

“I don’t know if it was because you wanted Brian to experience a relationship so if the time ever came, you’d be there to pick up and live the hetero life.  I don’t know what the hell was going through your mind but, whatever it is, it’s making me sick to my stomach.  

 

“I wasn’t so sure, but now I’m positive.  You’re in love with Brian, probably more than me.  And if he came to you today and said, ‘Lindsay, let’s get married and have another kid’ you’d be looking for a dress, ready to walk down the aisle.”

 

“No,” Lindsay pleaded.

 

“I don’t want to hear any more!” Mel yelled, walking to the front door.  “You want Brian?  Go ahead and try and claim your man!  Just know that I’m not going to be waiting here for you!”

 

Lindsay screamed for Mel, but her partner slammed the door behind her.  All she could do was cry and wonder how everything had gone so sour so quickly.  She wanted to talk to Mel, but that wouldn’t be happening any time soon, it seemed.  Lindsay guessed she would have to figure out the situation all on her own.  It wouldn’t be easy.  Lindsay didn’t know how to face the situation she had created for herself.  Denial was a bitch.


	19. Ordinary Man

Brian stood in the middle of the loft and wondered how he’d managed to acquired so many things when he made it a point to get rid of the clutter.  He couldn’t even blame it on Justin since most of his lover’s stuff was still at his old apartment.   But there they were: over a dozen boxes in the middle of the loft and he wasn’t even finished yet.  Brian couldn’t even say where it all came from. 

 

“What the hell are these?”  Justin asked, coming out of the bathroom.  He was carrying a pair of ladies’ underwear and couldn’t hide the disgusted look on his face.  “Not only are they women’s panties, they’re a size 16.”

 

Brian leaned on one of the larger boxes and thought about it.  Not that he felt he owed Justin an explanation, but because he was as curious as his lover about whose underwear those were.  He knew one thing for sure; they didn’t belong to a woman.  It took a few moments, but it finally dawned on him.

 

“Jesus, those are old,” Brian chuckled, “must be from three, four Halloweens ago. The guy had to be the ugliest queen you had ever seen.”

 

“But after a couple of drinks you didn’t care.”

 

“Naw, he got me to fuck him by taking off the make up,” Brian remembered.  “He was in the shower for a while and when he came out-he was hot.”

 

“You were horny.”

 

“That too,” Brian laughed, shaking his head when Justin offered him the underwear.  “Toss it.  It should have been tossed years ago.  Where was it?”

 

“In the bathroom cabinet,” Justin replied with a smile, “behind a box with a dildo in it.”

 

“That’s where that old thing ended up,” Brian answered.  “You can throw that nasty thing away too while you’re at it.”

 

“Throw away your dildo?”  Justin giggled.  “If it’s been up your ass, it should be bronzed and put up on our mantle.”

 

“Now that’s an idea,” Brian replied sarcastically, “if we dip it in gold or platinum.  And I’ll only agree to it if we start with your dick first.”

 

“Once hardly calls for it…and you wouldn’t do that since, after my ass, my dick is one of your favorite toys,” Justin teased, tossing the old panties in the trashcan. “Anyway, what would you do without my dick?”  

 

“Suck my thumb instead,” Brian said, taking Justin into his arms.  After a couple of kisses, Brian looked into Justin’s eyes and smiled.  “Toss the dildo.”

 

“I’ll toss the dildo,” Justin told him, knowing full well he was going to do it anyway.  “But only if you’ll make love to me right now.”

 

Brian response was to kiss Justin and unzip his pants.  Though they planned on making love in each room of their new home when they got there, they also couldn’t wait.  It seemed, however, they weren’t going to have a choice when someone knocked loudly on the front door.

 

“I’m glad we’re moving,” Brian complained as he strolled over to the door.  “I pay for all this security and yet everyone seems to be able to just drop on by whenever the fuck they feel like it.”  

 

Brian opened the door and rolled his eyes when he saw Brook.  Without a word, he strolled back into the loft, noting that Justin looked even less thrilled than he.  

 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Brook said, winking when he saw that Brian’s fly was still open.  He looked at Justin and smiled, seeing the obvious bulge in his pants.  “Hey there, hot stuff.”

 

“Hey Brook,” Justin snickered.  He turned to Brian while straightening up his clothes.  “I’m going to finish packing the bathroom.”

 

“Why doesn’t he like me?”  Brook asked the second Justin left the room.

 

“Because you’re an asshole.”

 

“ _You’re_ an asshole.”

 

“But I’m _his_ asshole,” Brian clarified, “which is completely different from being someone else’s asshole…which you are.  You’re Ty’s asshole and since Justin doesn’t really like Ty either, you’re in a shitty position.”

 

“I don’t think he l liked me before I got with Ty,” Brook admitted, sitting on a cardboard box.  “Or even before you two became the couple of the year.”

 

“And the reason you’re here?”  Brian asked, obviously tiring of the conversation.

 

“Can’t I just come to visit my old friend?”  Brook replied.  Seeing that Brian wasn’t fooled, he sighed and continued, “I need your help with something…I need to rent the loft.”

 

“I’d help you out if I didn’t need to sell the loft,” Brian told him.  “Or if you could actually afford to pay me for it.”

 

“I can’t actually buy it,” Brook admitted, “but I can pay you rent…whatever it is you’re paying in mortgage.  I promise.”

 

“You’d have to do more than promise,” Brian sighed, “especially since you don’t have a job that I’m aware of.”

 

“I’m officially employed,” Brook said, holding his head high, “by Garthom, Williams and Wesley.  I started last week.”

 

“You have a steady job.  I’m very impressed,” Brian replied sarcastically.  “Now all you have to do is keep it for more than one month and I’ll think about it.”

 

“Come on Brian, I need this,” Brook pleaded.  “Dani won’t let me do shit and I need some space.”

 

“And what?  My new house is just going to pay for itself?”

 

“It’s not like you don’t have money,” Brook replied, sneaking up on Brian while he was packing.  Brook wrapped his arms around his old friend and whispered in his ear.  “For old time’s sake.  Please, Brian.”  Brook dropped to his knees, gripping onto Brian’s forearm so that their identical cowry bracelets touched.  “I’m begging now.  Please.”

 

“Eighteen hundred a month,” Brian sighed.  “And the month that you’re late is the month I’m kicking your ass out of here.”

 

“Thanks,” Brook exclaimed, as he hugged Brian, kissing his lips once then twice.  “Any other way I can repay you?” 

 

“You can get the fuck out before Justin kills you,” Brian replied with a smile, though it was clear he wasn’t joking.  

 

“Aw come on,” Brook purred, trying to slip his hand in Brian's pants only to have his friend stop him.  “I’ve seen you and Justin take home a trick or two from Babylon...why not me?”

 

“First and last months rent before you move in,” Brian replied, staring directly at Brook.  It was clear he had no intention of even discussion the subject.  “Or you can fuck off.”

 

“No problem,” Brook said, walking towards the door obviously disappointed.  “I’ll have it to you tomorrow.”

 

“You better,” Brian sighed, watching Brook leave and hearing Justin come out of the bathroom.  “How much of that did you hear?”

 

“Enough to question what the hell does Brook know how to do, besides fuck everything with a dick that moves?” Justin replied.  “And to wonder who the hell would be so stupid as to hire him.”

 

“He’s an architect,” Brian explained, “and a pretty good one.  He just has a bad habit of coming and going whenever he feels like it.  Doesn’t settle well with employers.  I guess Dani must have pulled some strings.”

 

“If you don’t sell the loft, how are we going to pay for the new house?”  Justin asked, clearly worried.  When he saw that Brian wasn’t denying it, his stomach began to churn.  “I guess I can take back some of those clothes we bought…”

 

Justin went to the closet and took out some of the clothes he hadn’t yet worn.  As soon as he got them all together, Brian forced him to put them back into the closet.  

 

“We need the money.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Brian told him.  “I’ll take care of it.”

 

“I worry about it, Brian, I can’t help it.”

 

“A couple of new clients and we’re on easy street again,” Brian explained.  

 

Brian kissed Justin softly and sighed.  There was no denying it; he was worried about the strain his promise to Brook would place on their finances.  Brian was just going to have to make sure that he landed a few new clients.  His biggest obstacle was the recession and the fact that people just weren’t spending big money on ad campaigns. Brian would either have to make a whole lot of new clients or a few very expensive ones.  Either way, he had a very difficult task ahead of him.  However, he was Brian Kinney and there wasn’t anything he couldn’t accomplish.

 

“I’ll tell you the moment I’m worried,” Brian said.

 

“Promise?”

 

“I promise.”

 

**** 

 

“Jesus,” Ted said, handing Melanie a cup of coffee.  “I didn’t know it got that bad.”

 

“It did,” Mel replied.  “It just makes me wonder how many other lies she’s been telling me and not ‘fessing up to.  It’s just so depressing.”

 

“Then we’re two peas in a pod,” Ted sighed.  “One very sad pea and one very pathetic pea.”

 

“Lindsay’s in control of our fate right now,” Mel admitted, pushing away her cup.  “All I can do is sit and wait for her to figure out if she’s a lesbian or not.  I mean, who would have figured?  You’d think after seven years she’d know.  _I know_.”

 

“You know, I think-”

 

“No, no,” Mel interrupted.  “Sorry, Ted, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore.  It’s way too depressing.  Let’s talk about you.”

 

“From one depressing discussion to another,” Ted replied, shaking his head.  “The good news is that I’ve sold the site.  The bad news is that now that I’m trying to build a new one, I can’t use any ideas that even resemble the old site.”

 

“I’m sure you can think of something,” Mel encouraged.  

 

“I did,” Ted confessed.  “I hired Justin to work on a new layout…but Brian won’t let him work with me.”

 

“I don’t think it has anything to do with you,” Mel disagreed.  “I think it probably has something to do with the fact that Justin cheated on him.”

 

“Bullshit,” Ted snapped.  Hearing himself he sighed and shook his head.  “Sorry, I just get so down.  Why can’t I ever get a break?  I’ve been a good guy…unlike someone else we know who always seems to land on his designer clad feet.”

 

“Brian,” Mel sighed.  “He’s got his problems, Linds for one.”

 

“But in the end he always comes up smelling like roses,” Ted pouted.  “Brian treated Justin like shit, but in the end he gets him back.”

 

“Justin loves Brian,” Mel surmised.

 

“He doesn’t know any better,” Ted complained.  “To him, Brian’s some superhero and next to that I’m just some ordinary man.”

 

“Ted…” Mel began, only to be interrupted by a knock on the front door.  

 

Ted got up and opened the door to see Justin.  Ted took the blond’s coat and offered a drink, which Justin declined.  

 

“Speak of the devil,” Mel said, as Justin took a seat beside her.

 

“No,” Justin laughed.  “Brian isn’t here.”

 

“Well at least you got that right,” Ted said, smiling infectiously.  “It’s about time you stopped by.  I’ve missed having you around.”

 

“I’m glad you said that,” Justin replied, “cause I need your help.”

 

****         

 

Brian grabbed an envelope and peeked inside to see a handful of photographs he had taken years ago.  Flipping through each picture, Brian remembered taking them when he was in college.  There was Lindsay, Brook and Dani and a few other friends that he thought he’d have for life, only for them to disappear soon after graduation.  He wanted to throw them away, but he knew that he might regret it later.  Not for himself, because he really didn’t care, but for Justin and Gus.  Both had always loved to look at older pictures of Brian and Brian loved to watch the looks on their faces…especially Justin’s.  Brian enjoyed telling Justin the lurid stories behind each picture and there always seemed to be at least one.

 

Brian placed the envelope inside the box with the rest of the miscellaneous items and taped the box shut.  Looking around the room he saw that finally, three days late, he was almost finished packing.  All that was left was his and Justin’s clothes.  Brian had never believed that he’d ever move from the loft, but tomorrow was the day and something inside him wanted it to be now.  That was surprising.  He wanted to move on with his life and see if he couldn’t make it better somehow.  Not that his life had been bad, but it had gotten stagnant and he didn’t know how much he had needed a change until he was forced to do it.  Now he had a child, a home and a partner.  Brian didn’t know when it was he became another ordinary man, but it didn’t matter.  He was still Brian Kinney at the end of the day.  Stud extraordinaire.

 

Brian smiled and picked up his schedule for the move.  Somehow, he was going to have to squeeze work along with moving.  

 

“Brian,” Lindsay said from the open loft door.  “You left the door open.”

 

“Airing out the room,” Brian replied.  He glanced at the woman, who stood humbly.  “Where’s my son?”

 

“Debbie’s babysitting him,” Linds responded, smiling lightly.  “I thought we needed to talk and-”

 

“It wouldn’t be anything Gus needed to hear I guess,” Brian finished.  “So…you gonna try and take him away from me?  You here to lay down the law again?”  

 

“No, Bri, I came here to apologize,” Linds replied.  She walked up to Brian and tried to take his hand only for him to pull away from her.  “I’m so sorry and I promise never to use our son as a threat again.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Brian sighed, though it was clear he didn’t necessarily believe her.  “I just wonder what the fuck that was all about.”

 

“I started to wonder what could have been…”

 

Brian looked away from Lindsay not knowing what exactly to say to her.  He knew she loved him and, at times, he relished it.  He always wanted to be the center of everyone’s attention and it seemed his neediness had come back to haunt him.  

 

“Everyone loves me.  Or didn’t you know that,” Brian replied slyly.  “Well…except for Mel and Em, and I’m convinced they’re aliens.  But I think you love me for the same reasons I love you and Mikey for that matter.”

 

“Which would be?”

 

“It’s safe,” Brian admitted.  He looked into Lindsay’s eyes and hoped she’d understand his bluntness.  “Not only am I not attracted to you, I don’t love you the same way I do Justin.  It’s not even close.”

 

The second Lindsay began to cry Brian felt badly, but he was still glad that he had said it.  It needed to be said and he only wished he had said it sooner.  It would have saved them both a lot of grief.  

 

“I know,” Linds said after gaining some composure.  “God, Mel is so pissed at me.”

 

“And she has every right to be.”

 

“She can forgive me,” Lindsay argued, “just like I forgave her for cheating on me.”

 

“That’s different,” Brian replied, finally taking Lindsay’s hand in his own.  

 

“How?”

 

“What you did is actually worse than when Mel diddled with that dyke,” Brian explained.  

 

“Brian, you and I never diddled!” 

 

“I know,” Brian chuckled, “but Mel never loved that other chick.  It makes a difference.”

 

“When did you become so wise?”

 

“Who the fuck knows,” Brian sighed.  “Let’s just hope it lasts more than this conversation.”

 

****

     

“So how are things with Linds?”  Justin asked Mel.

 

“Don’t worry, Justin,” Mel replied, taking the younger man’s hand.  “No matter what happens between me and Linds, I still have legal rights to Gus.  And I’ll always bring Gus by to see his Dadda and his Ju Ju.”

 

“Oh, God, not you too,” Justin laughed.  “I thought you hated it when he called me that.”

 

“I do,” Mel admitted with a smile.  “But we can start calling you Momma if you want.”

 

“I don’t want,” Justin replied quickly.  “I’m just happy that Gus sees me as a part of his life.”

 

“Of course he does,” Ted said.  “You’ve been there more than Brian ever has.”

 

“Lately, Brian’s done his part,” Mel mentioned before Justin could say anything.  “In fact, he’s acted more like a parent than some other people I know.”

 

“She must be going through some type of mid life crisis or something,” Justin offered, making Mel cringe.  “Maybe she’s just confused or something.”

 

“She’d be insane attempting to keep you away from Gus,” Ted exclaimed.  “Anybody with any sense knows how good your are with that kid.  Gus is lucky to have you around.”

 

“I second that motion,” Mel agreed.

 

“I’m glad you said that, Ted,” Justin said, “cause I sorta need your help.”

 

“Anything,” Ted immediately replied. He smiled and added, “I’m just glad you came to me.”

 

“Well…I was just wondering if your job offer is still open?”  Justin asked hesitantly.  “I’ll still be working part time at the diner, going to school and working on Rage, but I can still fit it in.”

 

“What’s wrong?”  Ted wondered.  “Do you need money?”

 

“I don’t need any money I don’t work for,” Justin clarified.  “Anyway, I work on Rage at home and most of the stuff for your site can be done from home.  But, if you’ve already-”

 

“You’re hired,” Ted interrupted with a smile.  He glanced at Mel, who looked worried, then back at Justin.  He didn’t want it to, but his smile faded.  “What about Brian?”

 

“Don’t worry about him,” Justin replied.  “If the position is still open the only issue I can see is that I’ll probably need a little help.  That is if you can afford to hire someone else part time.”

 

“Sure no problem,” Ted excitingly said.  “I can make some calls.  I know this guy who’s a wiz on the computer.”

 

“Well, I kinda already thought of someone,” Justin explained.  “I was thinking about Blake.”

 

“What does Blake know about computers?”  Ted asked, his face showing nothing but concern.

 

“When we lived together he helped me a lot with Rage,” Justin told him.  “And he’s a friend who could really use our help.  I mean he’s been living check to check working that parking attendant job.”  Justin looked down and frowned.  “If you say no, I’ll completely understand.  You’re the boss.”

 

“If that’s who you want, then of course I’ll hire Blake,” Ted replied a soft smile crossing his face.  “It’ll keep him off the streets.”

 

“You should call him,” Justin said, smiling brightly.  “He’s at home.  I’m sure he’d be ecstatic to hear from you.”

 

Ted sighed happily, and then went over to the phone.  Calling Blake was easy, especially knowing that in the end, Justin would be working for him.  

 

Mel saw the look on Ted’s face and immediately knew that her friend was walking on thin ice.  One mention of Justin’s love for Brian and Ted would be drowning in icy water.  The problem was that she didn’t know if saying anything to Ted would make a difference.  

 

“That was really great of you to do that,” Mel told Justin.  “That’s against Brian’s all powerful wishes.”

 

“Brian’s not going to mind this,” Justin clarified.  “We need the money and anyway, I’m not really planning on spending a whole lot of time with any pieces of ass he hires.  That’s why Blake’s there.  And if we’re lucky, maybe those two will reconnect.  Ted could use some personal attention.”

 

“Sounds like a good plan…”

 

“It’s a great plan,” Justin replied.  “Can you tell Ted goodbye?  I have to go home and tell Brian.”  Justin backed up towards the door and giggled.  “I’ll probably have to be a good boy and obey all of his sexual desires all night long…but, then again he knows I’d do it anyway.  If I’m lucky he might put me over his knee and spank me…”

 

“That’s so much more than I ever needed to know,” Mel gasped.  “Get outta here.”   

 

Mel shook her head and smiled.  She was happy that Brian and Justin were making a life together and she couldn’t help it.  Even if other people couldn’t see it, it was best for Gus.  Mel wasn’t so sure Lindsay saw that, but she was positive Ted would never see it that way.  It was the look in Ted’s eyes when he was looking at Justin.  There was no doubt in her mind that Brian probably knew, but she wasn’t so sure about Justin.  At some point, Ted had fallen for Justin and Mel knew nothing good was going to come of that.  Nothing.

 

“Where’d he go?”  Ted asked, glancing around his apartment.

 

“He had to warn Brian that he’s working for you,” Mel replied.  “How the talk go with Blake?”

 

“Fine,” Ted said, mind still on other topics.  “So, what did Justin say?”

 

“Nothing important,” Mel replied.  “But, I gotta ask…when did you fall for Justin?”

 

****

 

“Yeah? How many?”  Brian asked as he sat at his empty desk, talking on the phone.  “Very funny, Gardner.  Of the many things I can pull out of my ass, clients aren’t one of them.  I know…yeah…”

 

Justin walked into the loft and saw Brian patiently listening on the phone.  Justin quickly locked up then shed himself of most of his clothes and eased into Brian’s lap.  However, Justin kept quiet, seeing the scribbled paper in front of Brian.  This conversation was work related.

 

“Probably four or five of those lame bitches,” Brian finally said.  “Or two or three big leaguers.  What?  You didn’t?  I can give it a shot, but their CEO is a real number.  I’m not sure, she’s a real bitch.”  Brian smiled and wrapped his arm around Justin.  “I know I’m a miracle worker, but there are just some things that can’t be helped.  No.  I’ll do it.  Can’t hurt to take a shot.  Fuck her?  Yeah right.  Let’s just hope she goes for talent, cause I’m not fucking some… _female_.  Ick.  Did I say ‘ick’?  I meant, ‘hell fucking no’.  No problem.  I’m just glad that was clearer.  Sure.  I’ll stop by tomorrow then, but I can’t stay too long, I’m moving.  Yeah, that’s tomorrow.  Alright, later.”

 

“Problem?”  Justin asked, as soon as Brian hung up the phone.

 

“Only problem is that I’ll have to stop by work sometime tomorrow,” Brian answered.  “You mad?”

 

“Of course not,” Justin replied.  “Why would I be mad?”

 

“I don’t know…maybe because the last time I had to work a whole shitload you left for Vermont without me…”

 

Justin recalled the time and shook his head.  At the time, he hadn’t been thinking about money or the fact that Brian was working his ass off to get it.  He’d been thinking about himself and the fact that Brian had gone away on some business trip instead of their vacation in Vermont.  But things were a little different now.  Justin had had a crash course in money problems and he finally understood the importance of putting personal time aside for work.  

 

“I’m so sorry,” Justin whispered, holding onto Brian.  “I didn’t understand.  I shouldn’t have gone without you, especially since you were busting your ass to make the money that paid for that trip…that extremely boring trip without you.”

 

“It’s alright,” Brian said, “you were my little spoiled brat.”

 

“Were?” Justin giggled.

 

“Are…”

 

Justin kissed Brian as many times as he could before Brian’s hand unzipped his pants.  Only, Justin had to stop him.  There was more on Justin’s mind than sex, though he didn’t want to stop.  He just knew that if he didn’t tell Brian about the job, there would only be trouble later.

 

“Hold on, I have something important to tell you,” Justin said, stopping Brian.

 

“What?”

 

“I know you didn’t want me to,” Justin began, “but I took the job with Ted.  But I’ve thought this through.  See, I can do most of the work from home.  Any thing else that needs to be done at Ted’s, Blake can handle since I got Ted to hire him as my assistant.”  

 

Justin sat on Brian’s lap and watched his lover’s face change.  It was clear that his announcement wasn’t settling well with Brian, even though he knew they needed the money.  Justin didn’t want to bring it up, but just looking at Brian’s expression, he felt he had no choice.

 

“We need the money,” Justin said.  “And I know you said you were taking care of it, but I want to do my part.” 

 

Justin waited for Brian to say something.  When Brian said nothing, Justin’s head dropped and he struggled not to cry.

 

“I’d never, _ever_ …cheat on you again,” Justin proclaimed.  He could hardly say the word ‘cheat’ without feeling like he was going to throw up.  “I don’t care how many asses or dicks get wiggled in my face.  I’ve always wanted you.  I’ve always loved you, you know that…”

 

“I know, I know,” Brian replied, trying to calm him.  “Shhh…”

 

“I’m sorry, I was being stupid,” Justin said.  “I’ll call up Ted and tell him I can’t.”

 

“Justin,” Brian sighed, getting his lover to look at him.  “I trust you.  I just wish you would have talked to me about this first.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry,” Brian replied.  “It couldn’t hurt to have the extra cash.  I’m sure money isn’t going to be an issue, but if you want to work to help out…who the fuck am I to stop you?”

 

“You’re not mad?”

 

“No, I’m not mad,” Brian told him, a sly smile crossing his face.  “You know I’ll stand by any decision you make.  You’re a big boy.”

 

“Then why do you still give me spankings when I’m bad?”

 

“Cause I like to.”

 

“I love you, Brian.”

 

“Of course you do,” Brian laughed.  “Doesn’t everyone?  I thought there was a placard sitting in someone’s office: everyone must love Brian Kinney.”

 

“But I love you more than anyone else.”

 

Brian kissed Justin and thought, ‘I know you do’.  He took his young lover into his arms and squeezed tightly.  He was happy he didn’t have to proclaim his love to Justin, because finally Justin already knew without him having to say so.  Brian smiled.  There was also something else he knew.  Brian knew that not everyone loved him.  Of that he was sure.  Just ask Ted. 


	20. Crush

Justin showed up to work a little late, though it didn’t seem to matter.  There were hardly any customers at the diner, and as he walked in, he saw Debbie and Ty standing behind the counter, chatting.  He took off his jacket then put on his apron, finally making his way to the pair who appeared to be discussing Dani’s infamous house warming party.

 

“Whoa,” Justin said upon taking at good look at Ty.  “I heard your ex…whoa…”

 

“You sound like Keanu Reeves,” Ty scoffed, rolling his eyes.  “Yes, Ramon kicked my ass, but I’m fine now.  It hardly hurts at all anymore.”

 

“You deserved an ass kicking, but not like that,” Justin commented, squirming at the site of Ty’s bruised face.  “I hope Ramon spent a night or two in jail for this.”

 

“He sure did,” Debbie informed him.  “Carl damn well made sure of that.”

 

“You do know you’re still a shit, don’t you Ty?”  Justin asked, raising an eyebrow.  “For what you did to Emmett…”

 

“I know, I know,” Ty sighed.  “He says he’s waiting for me to heal to slap the shit outta me…happy?”

 

“Sure,” Justin chuckled, seeing Ty’s smirk.  “Just as you know that macking on some other guy’s man isn’t kosher.  You try anything with Brian and I’ll make you think Ramon’s an angel.”

 

“ _I got it, I got it_ ,” Ty replied, shaking his head.  He wasn’t surprised.  He was expecting as much from everyone.  “At least Em’s not that mad.  I think he was sorta happy I took Brook off his back.  He says he wants to start anew or whatever.”

 

“He should be,” Deb chimed in.  “That Brook’s a worse playboy than Brian ever was.”

 

“Just don’t tell Brian that,” Justin laughed.  “I’d hate for him to get nostalgic or anything.”

 

“It’s like you’re all living in a soap opera,” Deb said, perking her head up when she saw Emmett, Michael and their dates enter the diner.  “And this is probably another episode.”

 

Michael walked in with Jimmy by his side and with Emmett and Nicky following close behind.  As Michael took his seat, Emmett looked at Ty, and then smugly tossed his head.  Sitting down, he wrapped his arm around Nicky then sneered at Ty, not hiding his displeasure with his backstabbing friend.

 

Justin wanted to laugh, but he kept silent.  He told Deb and Ty that he’d take their orders and walked over to the table with pad and pencil in hand.  Everyone said their hellos and though Justin had dated Nicky briefly, there was no tension or reaction about the situation.  He’d feared that Nicky might be a little bitter towards him, considering Justin had dumped him for Brian in the middle of the street, but Nicky appeared quite happy.  

 

Justin took the gang’s order and relayed it to the cook, he then served everyone their drinks and their meals without much fanfare.  Serving dessert, however, proved to be more challenging.  

 

“I’ll give that to Em,” Ty said, taking the pie from Justin’s hand.

 

“Give it back,” Justin protested, taking the pie only to have Ty rush the table.  

 

Justin sighed and watched Ty move toward the group.  He could see the look of disgust in Em’s eyes and was already thinking of ways to apologize.  Grabbing everyone’s desserts, he walked over to the table.

 

“It’s on me,” Ty replied, sliding the pie in front of Em.  

 

“You think you can apologize by buying me a cheap piece of apple pie?”  Em wondered, rolling his eyes.

 

“It’s delicious,” Ty countered, a smooth smile crossing his face.  “And I thought your fabulous date with Nicky would make you forget about Brook…especially considering that at this time, you’re dating, I’m working and Brook is off fucking at the baths.”

 

“I _so_ don’t miss that,” Emmett sighed, leaning his head against Nicky’s shoulder. 

 

“You don’t have to worry about that with me,” Nicky promised, taking Em’s hand in his own.  “I haven’t gone to a bath house since Clinton was president.”

 

“You make that sound like so long ago,” Ty sniped.  When he saw the look on Em’s face, he quickly changed his tune.  “I suppose it is, especially since ole George W. took office.  I just wish Brook was the same way.  He’s at the baths now; he was there yesterday and the day before that…and the day before that.  However he wasn’t there last Tuesday…he had a cold.”

 

“Why do you take that shit?”  Nicky asked, shaking his head. He turned to Emmett and asked the same thing, “Why did you take that shit?”

 

“He’s a sweet talker,” both Emmett and Ty responded in unison.  

 

“And a complete asshole,” Michael added.  

 

“And really eerie…” Justin replied.

 

“Yeah, but he’s good in the sack,” Ty chuckled, winking at Nicky.

 

Seeing the horrified look on Emmett’s face, Justin quickly said, “If you prefer the type that’s fucked half the country.”

 

“That’s my type,” Ty sighed.  “He’s tall dark, handsome and horny, which is the reason why Brian was so appealing.”

 

“ _Was_ ,” Justin emphasized, shoving Ty lightly.  “ _Was_.”  

 

Michael watched as Ty gave Justin a funny look and suddenly wanted to change subjects.  He knew what might be on Ty’s mind and this wasn’t the time to bring it up.  He just hoped Justin didn’t pick up on it, or his pleasant date with Jimmy might get ugly.  Michael figured Ty could handle Emmett, but he wasn’t so sure about both Justin and Em.  Not that he cared about Ty, but there was no way he wanted his first date with Jimmy ending up in a catfight.  

 

“So what’s Bri up to?”  Michael asked, switching subjects.  “Haven’t seen him all week.”

 

“He’s working at home,” Justin answered.  “He landed a new client and there’s another one he’s spending all his time wooing.”

 

“It seems like he’s been busting his ass for clients lately,” Ty mentioned.  “You two don’t have money problems do you?  You’d think with all the cash Brian makes he’d be rolling in the dough.”

 

“Like Brian’s having money problems,” Michael scoffed.

 

“Well, I figured as much since Justin _is_ working with Ted,” Ty added.  “Especially since Brian didn’t want him to.”

 

“Brian supports Justin,” Michael replied so quickly he even surprised himself.  “Ted just needs the help and it’s good of Justin to do that for him.”

 

“Thank you very much, Michael,” Justin said, giving Ty his best ‘fuck you’ look.  “And I did take the job for Ted, but not cause his site needs the help.  I was hoping that I could help Blake and Ted get back together again.”

 

“Who’s Ted?”  Nicky asked, looking at Jimmy.

 

“Not sure,” Jimmy replied.  “Have we met Ted?”

 

“Yeah,” Michael answered, glancing towards Emmett.  

 

“Are you sure you should be doing that?”  Emmett asked Justin.  “Teddy’s a big boy.”

 

“Teddy’s also been without since you two broke up,” Justin replied.  “And Blake does love him.”

 

“It’s sad really,” Ty chuckled.  “Blake could get a guy of his picking if he hadn’t been a meth head.  But, you’re right, Ju Ju, Ted and Blake would make a great little couple who could readily be ignored by all.”

 

“How do you compliment and slam someone in the same sentence?”  Justin wondered in awe. “And don’t call me Ju Ju.”

 

“It’s a talent,” Ty replied.

 

“Keep that talent to yourself,” Em snipped.

 

“I still don’t know who Ted is,” Nicky sighed.

 

“Don’t you think Justin’s right?”  Ty asked with a large smile.  “Don’t you think Ted and Blake could live happily ever after?  Or do you think Ted has his eye on someone else?”

 

Michael glanced at Emmett and sighed.  Ty knew, which meant that Justin would know soon.  Ted’s little crush on Justin was about to be made public and Michael just hoped that Brian would be the last to know.  

 

“I think it’s their funny looking friend,” Jimmy supposed.  “The little one with the porn site.”

 

“Oh, that one,” Nicky recalled. “I think we’re talking about the same guy aren’t we?”

 

****

 

Ted rushed around a couple of naked men, barely noticing them.  He made his way to his new front desk, then inside it to find the paperwork he had been searching for.  After staring at the papers for some time, he looked at the computer, then wadded up the paper and tossed it in the garbage can.

 

“This sucks,” Ted complained aloud to everyone and no one in particular.  “They’re complaining about the similarities of my site again.  Fuck!”

 

“Anything I can do help?”  Blake wondered.

 

“No,” Ted snapped, shaking his head.  “I just wish Justin was here to oversee some things.  If he were here, I’d be able to work on the dick and ass of the site instead of this computer shit.”

 

“Maybe I can help with something,” Blake offered, putting his hand on Ted’s shoulder, only for his ex-boyfriend to pull away.  “Or not…”

 

“This is taking too long,” Ted continued, as if he had never heard Blake.  “And it’s costing too much money.  I just might have to take on another job just so that I don’t go under in the process.”

 

“Is it really that bad?”  Blake asked concerned.

 

“God I wish Justin were here to help,” Ted continued.  “I thought he was going to drop by today.”

 

“Maybe I should leave,” Blake said softly, knowing full well Ted wasn’t listening to him anyway.

 

Blake turned towards the door, when he remembered he still had a paycheck waiting for him.  He was about to ask Ted when his boss mumbled about Justin one more time, so he decided to get the check himself.  He made his way to Ted’s office in the back.  He wasn’t sure where Ted kept the checks, so he looked inside the desk.  Not seeing them anywhere, Blake decided to search in a locker, so he opened it and was stunned.  His mouth dropped and his eyes grew as he absorbed what he saw.  

 

“You got to be fucking kidding me,” Blake mumbled.

 

Blake closed the locker door then turned around to rush out of the office.  He passed by the desk then stopped upon seeing the phone just sitting there waiting for him to use it.  He picked up the receiver and dialed out shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“Hey, Brian, is Justin there?”  Blake asked, his voice shaky with anger. 

 

“He’s at the diner.”

 

“Do you have that number handy, cause I really, really need to talk to him.”

 

“What’s up?” Brian wondered a little curious.

 

“You wouldn’t believe what I just saw,” Blake stammered.  “ _I can’t believe what I_ just saw.”

 

****

 

Michael and Jimmy alongside Emmett and Nicky entered Woody’s and took a corner table.  They ordered some drinks and an appetizer then chatted about current events.

 

“If Tom married that bitch Penelope, I don’t think I’ll forgive him,” Em said, shaking his head.  

 

“She can’t act for shit,” Jimmy agreed.

 

“You’d figure if she can’t get herself a career by fucking Tom Cruise…” Michael began. 

 

“ _If you say they’re fucking_ ,” Em interrupted.

 

“She’s never gonna have one,” Michael finished, smirking at Emmett when what his roommate had said finally hit him.  “If you say so.”

 

“I like Tom Cruise,” Nicky said, wrapping his arms around his date.  “Did you know he’s really short?  I mean really, really short?  I was an extra on one of his movies (a one I don’t even want to comment about) and he was really nice and energetic, only he was about as tall as a kid.”

 

“You didn’t mention you were in one of his movies,” Emmett mentioned.

 

“That’s cause he ended up on the cutting room floor,” Jimmy joked.  “Like most of his potential movie breakout roles.”

  

“Alright, alright,” Nicky sighed.  “Can we change the subject?”

 

“Who else famous can we talk about?”  Michael asked, hoping Jimmy and Nicky had other encounters with well known celebrities.

 

“What about Brian?” Jimmy wondered.

 

“He’s famous in his own mind,” Michael remarked.

 

“And his own pants,” Em added.

 

“No, I mean really,” Jimmy continued ignoring Nicky’s forced evil eye.  “I hear through the grapevine that he’s pretty much off the market.  I didn’t think anyone, not even Justin could tame the likes of him.”

 

“You know those grapes are never a reliable source,” Nicky sniped, hoping Jimmy would just drop it and knowing he wouldn’t.   

 

“They’re doing fine as far as I know,” Emmett commented, glancing at Nicky. He wondered what Nicky’s position was regarding Justin.  He would hate to fall for another guy bitten by the Wonderboy bug.   “Unless you two know something Michael or I don’t know.”

 

“I don’t care about Brian or Justin,” Nicky clarified. “I’d rather talk about Michael “The Big Ass Freak” Jackson dangling his baby out of a four story window.”

 

“Old news,” Jimmy quickly said.  “But, what I was wondering about was the fact that they’re still…what’s the word…non-exclusive?”

 

“Oh,” Michael replied softly.  “Apparently, they’re working on it together…literally.”

 

“At least Brian’s not fucking and sucking every piece of dick that passes him anymore,” Em added.  

 

“He has to get permission first,” Jimmy chuckled.

 

“And if he doesn’t get permission, he doesn’t get any ass that’s not Justin’s,” Michael added, giving Jimmy a not so happy look.  “I talked to Brian myself and he says he’s trying his hardest to keep that to a minimum.  They only go to Babylon on Fridays and Saturdays for that now. And they always go together.  I can see them sometime soon together without the rest of the bullshit and so can Brian.”

 

“That’s more than I ever expected from him,” Jimmy repeated.  He wanted to know how Nicky would react, but his friend wasn’t biting.  He didn’t, however, expect Michael to take it so personally.  Now he was sorry he had ever brought it up.  “I bet Justin will have Brian on a leash in no time.  Good for Justin.”

 

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, happy the topic was ending on a better note. 

 

Then it dawned on Michael that this might be Jimmy’s subtle way of asking if they knew about Brian and Justin’s arrangement.  He was going to have to speak to Jimmy about that.  If anything was going to come of their relationship, they would need to talk to each other instead of beating around the bush like a bunch of teenagers.  

 

“At least Brian’s not with Ty anymore,” Michael added, glancing up at Emmett who only sneered at him.  “God, I can’t stand that little piece of shit.”

 

“He’s not that bad,” Em sighed as if he almost didn’t believe himself.  “He’s just been looking out for himself for so long, he’s not used to other people trying to do it for him.  The word ‘friend’ isn’t something he’s used to taking seriously since every ‘friend’ he’s had before has fucked him over.  I’m just going to have to be the one who teaches him what a real friend is…even if it kills me…or him.”

 

“You’re a better friend than I,” Michael said, shaking his head.  “I don’t think I would have ever forgiven him for that shit he pulled at the party.  I mean really?  Fucking Brook when there’s a party going on in the next room?  They didn’t even lock the door.”

 

“I wish I could’ve been there to see that,” Jimmy laughed, wrapping an arm around Michael.  “Just to see the look on everyone’s faces…especially the dykes.  They must have been more horrified than I was seeing Dennis Franz pale ass on TV.”

 

“That was a scary moment in television history,” Emmett chuckled.

 

“You can say that again,” a voice said, seemingly coming from nowhere.  When everyone glanced up, they saw Mysterious Marilyn who was looking directly at Michael.  “I see you found him.”

 

“Oh my,” Em replied, glancing at Michael.  

 

“Brian,” Michael sighed, recalling the time when Marilyn told him about his true love.  He turned to Jimmy and smiled.  “You’re name starts with a B-R-I.”

 

“Yeah, but you better stick to calling me Jimmy,” he said, wondering why Michael was staring at him with doe eyes.  “Every Brian I ever knew was an asshole.  I don’t want anyone calling me that.  You got that?”

 

“Uh-huh,” Michael replied, leaning his head against Jimmy’s shoulder.  “I got it.”

 

“You’re the fortune teller?”  Nicky asked.

 

“I sure am,” she answered.

 

“She’s good about most things,” Michael commented.

 

“Most things?”  Marilyn wondered, frowning .  “Even though you may not like what you hear, my predictions eventually come true.”

 

“She’s right,” Emmett told Michael.  “She’s made a lot of reliable predictions.”

 

“A lot of?”  Marilyn gasped.  “I will have you know that my predictions are very accurate and I know exactly what you two are thinking of since I recall your prediction very distinctly, Emmett.  I tend to never forget when I get a death card.”

 

“Maybe you were wrong about that,” Em said, hoping she wouldn’t dash away his only means to cope with such a future.  “Maybe no one’s gonna die.”

 

“Someone most definitely is,” Marilyn disagreed.  She motioned to Michael to scoot over, which he did, then took a seat beside him.  “Now let’s see if I remember this correctly…I read the cards for your family.  You received the Knight of Swords, meaning someone would be heroic and save a life.”

 

“Didn’t you guys say that Brian saved Ty’s life?”  Nicky wondered.

 

“Ramon wouldn’t have killed Ty,” Em replied, shaking his head.  “Ty’s taken several beatings from Ramon and yet he’s still among the living.”

 

“It hasn’t happened yet,” Marilyn proclaimed, calling to a waiter then ordering a glass of wine.  “Then I believe there was a reversed Chariot card.  Someone will be suicidal because of some very extreme failures.”

 

“Not Brian,” Michael exclaimed, recalling what Emmett had previously thought.  

 

“Not Brian,” Emmett agreed, perking up.  It seemed as if none of Marilyn’s predictions had really come to pass so far and to him that was perfect.

 

“Then there was the…” Marilyn continued thinking about the previous prediction.  “…The Two of Cups, which meant that a new love will flourish. Oh yeah, someone would get engaged, possibly get married sometime soon.”

 

“Deb and Carl,” Nicky said, recalling the time he and Justin had dated.  He had spoken to Deb and she was so thrilled.  “They’ve finally set a date I hear.”

 

“They have,” Michael said.  “But that’s only one.”

 

“Ah shit,” Em remembered.  “Deb lost her ring just like you said, Marilyn. Isn’t that right, Michael?  It was in the drain just like she said it would be.”

 

“Of course,” Marilyn replied as if anything otherwise would be preposterous.  “The next one was a reversed Knight of Wands, which means that a relationship will break up…which I know it did.”

 

“Me and Teddy,” Em sighed.  “Me and Brook.”

 

“Me and Ben,” Michael added.

 

“Which I was thinking was a good thing,” Jimmy said, squeezing Michael around the waist until his date smiled.  

 

“Of course it is,” Marilyn agreed, which only made Jimmy beam.  “All the break ups were a good thing, even if it doesn’t seem so at the time.  Where are we…oh, yeah, the Lovers.  And if I recall correctly, the Lovers came right after the break up card, which meant that a couple would re-unite.  You guys don’t even have to say anything.  Everyone knows that Brian Kinney and his young little stud have kissed and made up.”

 

“I wonder if it made the ten o’clock news,” Michael said sarcastically.  “Jesus, everyone and their mother _does_ know everything about Brian.”

 

“He’s our own little town celebrity,” Marilyn commented, winking her eye.  

 

“Visitors,” Emmett recalled a little dazed.  “The next card was about visitors coming to town who will break a bunch of stuff.  That’s has to be Dani and Brook.  Remember all the things Brook broke at Mel and Linds’?”

 

“That would be a reversed Five of Cups,” Marilyn said. “The last one was the death card, but before that was the Four of Wands…a state of harmony.”

 

“Four out of seven,” Michael replied, before Emmett could make any further comments.  “Cause I’m not counting Brian as saving Ty’s life.  Like Em said, Ramon would have kicked his ass real good, but he would have never killed him.”

 

“That’s not bad odds,” Jimmy mentioned leaning back in his seat.  

 

“The cycle’s not complete,” Marilyn clarified.  She turned to Emmett and raised an eyebrow before wondering, “Why didn’t you warn Brian about fucking on top of a dumpster?  I told you that he should never grab anything inside one without looking at it first.”

 

“Holy shit,” Em stammered.  “You did say that didn’t you?”

 

“That means someone’s gonna die,” Nicky said, looking at Marilyn.  “Is that just someone he knows or what?”

 

“A family member,” Marilyn clarified.  “This only affects members of Emmett’s immediate family.”

 

“This isn’t good,” Michael said, finally believing.  “This really isn’t good.”

 

**** 

 

“Carl says that killer’s been quiet for too long,” Deb said after glancing around the diner seeing that no customer needed her help.  “Dani even thinks he might be sitting in a jail cell for other reasons.  I sure as hell hope so.  I’d hate to see any more kids hurt cause of him.”

 

“Dani said it could be a married man,” Ty mentioned.  “When she came over to the loft she told Brook that if he wasn’t getting so much ass, he’d be a prime suspect.”

 

“Oh you mean like Herb Baumiester?”  Justin wondered. 

 

“How do you know about him?”  Deb asked.  

 

“Brian,” Justin stated.  “The first real talk we had that wasn’t about us was about the recent killings. He mentioned this guy Herb Baumiester and the fact that he was living a double life: one with his wife and kids, the other with random tricks he murdered after sex.  We watched some programs on A&E then talked about them afterwards.”

 

“He did that?”  Ty asked a little shocked.  He turned and glanced at Deb, who appeared just as stunned.

 

“It was one of the reasons we hardly ever…” Justin began.

 

“Go out and trick,” Ty finished.

 

“I thought you two stopped that,” Deb said a little flustered.  “You two can’t have a healthy relationship when you’re out fucking the latest piece of ass on Liberty.”

 

“We’re working on it,” Justin explained, though he knew nothing he said would satisfy the woman.  “We only go together, if we go at all.  Never apart, never without each other.”

 

“It doesn’t-”

 

“I know,” Justin sighed, “but we have to take small steps, remember?”

 

“I suppose so,” Deb reluctantly spat out.  “But you two better get your act together soon.”

 

“I’m sure they will,” Ty replied, winking at Justin.  He watched Blake enter the diner and take a seat in front of the chatty waiters and waitress.  “Brian knows Justin’s just the most popular guy in Liberty right now…well besides himself.”

 

Justin was about to ask Ty what he meant when Blake plopped in his seat and ordered a stiff drink.  Blake moaned when Deb informed him that the diner didn’t serve alcohol, so Justin asked him what was wrong.

 

“I want to be with him,” Blake explained, shaking his head.  “But it’s so hard when he’s being a complete asshole.”

 

“And I thought that was Brian’s job,” Ty quipped.

 

“What happened?”  Justin wondered as Deb served Blake a cup of tea.

 

“It’s hard to try and get close to Ted when all he’s ever talking about is you,” Blake said.  “You’re a lot to live up to, you know.”

 

“Me?”  Justin asked confused.  “What the?”

 

“It’s about time you got a clue,” Ty giggled.  “Ted’s had a little crush on you ever since I’ve been hanging around.  Brook noticed it too.  Not that I would believe him alone since he has a little crush on you too, but I’ve seen Ted at work…the way he looks at you…”

 

“When did I become so popular?”  Justin asked dazed.  “Not that I believe Ted has a crush on me, cause I don’t think he has.  I mean, we’re friends…he knows that.  He knows how much I love Brian.  He cares about me, but not in _that way_.”

 

“Sunshine,” Deb sighed.  “Ted has a crush on you.”

 

“No way,” Justin denied.

 

“Why is it so hard to believe?”  Deb wondered.

 

“Cause I don’t want him to have a crush on me,” Justin stammered out.

 

“Well it’s true,” Deb replied, sympathizing with the young man.  “I spoke to Mel the other day and she had a long conversation with Ted, who basically told her flat out that he was in love with you.”

 

“No way!”  Justin gasped as the truth finally hit him like a ton of bricks.  He looked at each of his friends as the reality set in.  “Oh my God!  I so hope Brian doesn’t find out about this!  I have to talk to Ted, like yesterday, and set him straight before Brian finds out about this.”

 

“Too late,” Blake softly said.  He stared into his cup of tea and didn’t raise his head to look at his former roommate.  “I called your house to tell you about what I found and Brian picked up the phone.  I was so pissed I told him everything…”

 

“Everything?”  Ty wondered, seeing Justin and Deb were just as confused.  “What everything?”

 

“In Ted’s office there was this…I dunno,” Blake explained, “shrine.  There was this big Justin shrine with candles and pictures of Justin and Ted together.  The scariest part was that he had these pictures where you just know Brian was there…but he was cut out.  There was this one picture that he was cut out and Ted blacked out his arm around you, Justin.  Or maybe the digital pictures where he inserted you two in Hawaii creeped me out the most.”

 

“Ewwwww!”  Justin screeched, startling a few customers.  

 

“He’s not talking about the food,” Deb announced quickly.

 

“That’s like the time he had that Michael montage at his house,” Justin recalled.  “Oh my God!  And Brian knows?”

 

“He said he would take care of it,” Blake answered.

 

Without another word, Justin rushed to the phone and called home.  After several rings, he hung up and dialed Brian’s cell phone.  He had to talk to Brian.  He wasn’t sure what Brian would do, but he knew that it wouldn’t go over well, no matter what it was.

 

****

 

“Nice little office,” Brian said, strolling into Ted’s personal office.  “It’s…roomy.”

 

“Justin’s not here,” Ted replied, not even looking up from his paperwork.  “I don’t know where he is.  Though it’d be nice for him to show up at work once in a while.”

 

“I know where he is,” Brian said.  His voice was so stern; Ted finally looked up from his paperwork to see that Brian didn’t look at all happy.  He glanced at his phone when it rang, but he didn’t pick it up.  He simply turned the cell off and made a mental note to call Justin as soon as he was finished.  “And just so we’re on the same page here, you’ll never get him.  You’re little fascination on Justin will never come to anything, but a wet dream…for you.” 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ted stammered out, his face showing nothing but shock.  

 

Ted hoped Brian would see that as a sign of unawareness, but it appeared as if the ad partner was expecting such a plea.  Brian simply sauntered over to Ted’s locker.  Though Ted tried to stop him, he was no match for Brian, who shoved Ted aside and opened the locker door exposing the truth about Ted’s desires.

 

“You’re pathetic.”

 

“Justin would be better with me,” Ted yelled. Having been exposed, he felt he had nothing else to loose.  He dug deep and found some courage that had seemed to be hidden for too long.  “I care about Justin, but you know why you’re here, Mr. Everything?  You know I’m a better man for him! You can’t even be in a relationship with him without fucking someone else.  He deserves a relationship where he’s the only one and not just some other fuck!”

 

“You don’t know shit about Justin and you don’t know shit about me,” Brian replied coolly.

 

“I know a lot about you,” Ted continued, pointing his finger at Brian.  “You know that little fantasy I had of being you?  What a crock of shit! There I was with two guys and it felt has hollow and void as they come.  That’s when it dawned on me your life is all shit.  The saddest part for you must be that you’d be **nothing** , absolutely **nothing** without Justin.”

 

Brian smiled as if unfazed by any of Ted’s words.  He thought for a moment about what Ted had told him and rolled his eyes.  He then shook his head and chuckled.

 

“I spoke to the guys you were with that night,” Brian informed Ted.  “And they told me you didn’t even get to play…but that’s really not the point is it?  The point is… ** _Ted_** …that no matter what bracelet you put on, what clothes you wear or where you fuck, even in my loft, it doesn’t matter.  You’ll still be plain old Ted and I’ll still be Brian Kinney.  I have everything: the look, the style, the self confidence, the height…everything you’ll never have.  That’s gotta suck for you.”

 

“Fuck you,” Ted mumbled out.  If he had said anymore, he would have cried and that was one thing he didn’t want to do in front of Brian.  

 

“I’m gonna leave now,” Brian said, turning to the door then stopping.  He glanced back at Ted one more time and sneered.  “Get Justin out of your head,” Brian warned.  “The next time I have to talk to you about it, I’ll crush you…this conversation was just a warning.”

 

Without another word, Brian left Ted’s office and it was just in the knick of time.  When the tears began to fall, Ted slumped in his seat and covered his face.  He felt about two inches tall.


	21. A Little Jealousy Goes A Long Way

Debbie sat flipping through a bridal magazine, telling Carl what she wanted for the wedding.  Smiling, she told him that she had already set aside the hall for the wedding.   She asked him if he had gotten the count of how many of his friends and family were coming, but didn’t get an answer.  When she asked him again and he was still silent, she knew something was wrong.

 

“Carl!” Deb repeated after calling his name to no answer.

 

“Huh?”

 

“What’s a matter?”  Deb wondered.  

 

“It’s nothing,” Carl lied.  He immediately smiled, but saw that it was of little use.  Deb saw right through it.  “It’s job stuff.  I’d rather talk about the wedding.”

 

“I’d love to talk to you about the wedding if I weren’t talking to myself,” Deb replied.  “Tell me what’s wrong…I wanna help.”

 

“I know,” Carl sighed, shaking his head.  He didn’t want to tell her, but he also knew his fiancée.  There was no way she’d see that something was wrong and let it go.  It wasn’t in Debbie’s nature.  “They found another one…another kid about two blocks from the diner.”

 

“Holy shit,” Deb cursed.  “I didn’t hear about it.”

 

“That’s a first,” Carl said, taking Deb’s hand in his own.  He smiled almost cautiously and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.  “This kid…he had to be only fourteen…maybe.”

 

“In a dumpster?”

 

“Yeah,” Carl answered, hanging his head.  “We’ve been looking for this kid’s parent’s, but we’ve found nothing.”

 

“You should have told me sooner,” Deb replied, squeezing Carl’s hand.  “Let me see what I can find out.”

 

****  

 

Brian used his key to get inside the loft, even though he wasn’t living there anymore.  Without a second thought, he strolled into the loft.  In his eyes, he was still the owner, so he could do whatever he wanted.  The world did, in fact, revolve around Brian Kinney.  When he entered the loft, he saw Ty and Blake unpacking suitcases and plastic trash bags filled with their stuff. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.  Though, he shouldn’t have been surprised.  He should have known better.  Brook could never exist without an entourage of people to love him and need him.  Brian almost couldn’t wait to hear the excuses for this one.  Almost.

 

“He said he couldn’t afford it without some assistance,” Ty said, giving Brian a knowing look.  “Like I believe that bullshit, but what the fuck do I know?  Oh yeah.  I get to live in this place instead of that shit hole I was living in.”  Ty stared at Brian with a crooked smile and an air of success.  “It’s like I was never meant to leave here….you know?”

 

“Thanks, Brian,” Blake told his new landlord before his roommate could say anything more.  For him, the shit hole apartment wasn’t that bad.  Anything was better than a prison issue bed and the loft was the best place he had resided in since he lived with Ted.  His eyes fluttered at the memory and he smiled uneasily.  “For letting us stay here…and for Ted.”

 

“Why thank me for Ted?”  Brian wondered as he watched Brook enter the room from the bathroom.  

 

“For helping me out,” Blake replied.  He wasn’t exactly sure what had happened, but he knew that Brian had made a difference.  He could tell the second he went back to work.  “I went back to work, just like nothing had happened.  At first, Ted was all calm, then when he wasn’t looking, I went to his office and saw that all those pictures of Justin were gone.”

 

“Good,” Brian sighed.  “Saves me from having to kill him.”

 

“The proclamation of love in endearing,” Brook spoke up, strolling unsteadily towards his old friend.  He was high and no one in the room seemed surprised.  “I suppose if I were with Justin, I’d kill for him too.”

 

“But you’re not,” Ty reminded him…as if were necessary.  He watched as Brook leaned on Brian, trying to slip a hand down their new landlord’s pants.  He smiled when Brian rolled his eyes and pushed Brook away.  “And you’re not with Brian either.”  He smiled at Brian and couldn’t help but giggle just a bit.  “And if he were to lapse into his old ways, it wouldn’t be with either of us.  Would it, Brian?”

 

“Please tell me someone here has the first and last month’s rent,” Brian replied, shaking his head.  

 

“I know a perfect way to pay you,” Brook said, dropping to his knees and sticking out his tongue.

 

“Brook,” Brian snarled, about to loose his patience.  He loved Brook dearly, but he wasn’t in the mood anymore.  In fact, he wasn’t in the mood for much if it didn’t have to do with Justin or work.  He just didn’t have time for anything else, especially Brook’s bullshit.  “Pay me now.  In cash or by check, I don’t give a flying fuck.  All I know is that if I don’t have money in my hand, all of you will be kicked out on your recently fucked asses.”

 

“I completely understand,” Ty replied, taking out some cash and handing it to Brian.  “Except Brook’s an adamant top and Blake hasn’t gotten laid since I’ve known him.”

 

“I’m a giver,” Brook chuckled, pawing Brian once again.  He leaned in and whispered into his old friend’s ear, “Except when it comes to you.  And I’ve missed you so much.”

 

“Of course you miss me,” Brian replied with an easy smile.  He looked into Brook’s eyes and made sure his friend understood that what he was about to say was not only important, but he meant every word.  “Everyone misses being fucked by me, isn’t that right Ty?”  

 

“Hell ya.”

 

“If you don’t get over it now,” Brian continued, “you’re going to be missing the rest of your life.  You and I are never going to fuck again, Brook.  Just like Ty, you’ve had your moment in time, only now it’s gone.  Relish the time you’ve had…then go get my check.  I have places to be.”

 

“You’re so sweet,” Ty laughed.  He took out a lollipop and sticking it in his mouth.

 

“You don’t have time to-”

 

“Get over it, Brookie baby,” Ty snickered as his current boyfriend groped his former boyfriend.  “Brian’s never going to fuck you again.  It could be because you’re really not his type.  Or it could be because Justin can’t stand you and since Bri and Ju Ju fuck together, it looks like you’re never gonna be a part of the party.”

 

“Fuck you, Ty,” Brook snapped, as Brian removed himself from his grasp. He looked away then picked up his checkbook.

 

“Here,” Blake said, handing Brian a wad of cash. “It’s not much, but since I’m sleeping on the floor, I figure I’m in for less.”

 

“Thanks,” Brian replied with a smile.  He counted the cash Ty and Blake gave him and told Brook what was needed to settle the debt.  He took the check Brook handed him, ignoring the needy looks on his old friend’s face.  Seeing that he received all the money he came for, he turned to Blake.  “Don’t worry about Ted.  He’ll get over it.”

 

“He’s gonna need a friend,” Blake said.

 

“I most definitely concur,” Brian chuckled, “especially after little talk Justin’s going to have with Ted…oh…” Brian checked his watch and smiled.  “Right now.”

 

****

 

Justin wasn’t sure how he was going to approach Ted since finding out that his friend and boss was in love with him, or lust…or whatever it is you want to call it.  Justin didn’t want to call it anything.  In fact, Justin simply wanted to pretend like it didn’t happen, but he knew that was impossible.  The second he saw Ted, he stomach churned and he felt like he wanted to throw up.  

 

“Justin,” Ted cried out, smiling happily.  He made his way through scantily clad men towards Justin.  He wanted to hug the young blond, but stopped before actually taking the young man in his arms.  Any warmth that had been in Justin’s eyes cooled into an icy gaze.  

 

“I just wanted to come by,” Justin said, looking at the floor longer than at Ted.  He felt uneasy and there was no way to hide it.  “To set things straight…so to speak.”

 

“That’s what I wanted to do,” Ted agreed, moving backwards.  He motioned towards his office.  

 

Although Justin didn’t really want to be in a room alone with Ted, he followed his friend to the back office.  He sat in a seat and wondered how it all came to be.  How on earth could Ted make him uneasy?  It was Ted.  _Ted._ There was nothing threatening about Ted, or so it seemed.  

 

“I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me,” Justin immediately said, “especially since it seemed like no one was…when Brian and I weren’t together.  You were there like no one else was.  I remember the long conversations we had and how you made me feel so much better but…”

 

“I know,” Ted agreed, taking his chair from behind the desk, so he could sit face to face with Justin.  “I remember the long talks we had too.  I also remember how well we got along.”

 

“Do you remember what we talked about?”

 

“Of course,” Ted replied.  “About your school and your terrible teachers.  About your mom and your dad. About life.”

 

“We talked about my school and how Brian paid for everything,” Justin clarified. There was no doubt that they discussed these things, but it seemed as if Ted was remembering it differently than he.  It was something he wouldn’t allow to continue any longer.  “And my shitty teacher who was giving me a hard time because all my pictures were the same.  She wanted me to draw something different than what I had been drawing.  Something like a nature shot or something like that.”

 

“She still wasn’t happy with you,” Ted recalled fondly.

 

“Yeah,” Justin sighed, seeing that Ted still didn’t get it.  “I drew a picture of a river with some trees…and Brian smack down in the middle.  Naked.  She hated that.  She hated that every picture I drew had Brian somewhere in it.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Ted remembered, hanging his head.

 

“And remember we talked about my mom and her reaction to Brian and me breaking up?”  Justin continued.  “Then her reaction to Ethan, especially how different he was next to Brian.   We talked about my dad and how much he hated Brian.  We talked about Brian, but you know, we always talked about Brian.  Even if we were talking about someone else, we were talking about Brian.”

 

“I also remember talking about what an asshole Brian is,” Ted said.  “What he did-”

 

“Don’t,” Justin interrupted.  “I love Brian and no matter how big of an asshole he can be, I’ll always love Brian.  I’m sorry everything got so mixed up for you, Ted.  But, the truth is, I was never that confused.  Though I questioned his love for me, I never questioned my love for Brian.  I’ve always loved Brian.  I probably always will.”

 

“He’ll always treat you like shit,” Ted justified.  “He can’t help himself.  Whatever rules you two made are bullshit.  If you can’t be together alone, you can’t be together at all.”

 

“I quit,” Justin replied softly before standing up.  

 

“You don’t have to,” Ted said, taking Justin’s arm before the younger man could walk away.  “We can still work together.”

 

“No,” Justin stated sternly.  “I don’t want to work with you.”

 

Justin turned and walked away before Ted could say anything else.  He didn’t look back as he left the office, but he heard the sound of wood and glass breaking.  He wasn’t sad, he was scared.  He didn’t want to know what went on in the office after he left.  The mere thought of being afraid of Ted didn’t seem right to him.  There was nothing scary about Ted.  Well…nothing was supposed to be.

 

****

 

The moment Justin left the room, Ted picked up a chair and tossed it across the room.  He wasn’t sure what he broke, but it didn’t matter.  His heart was broken and that’s all that mattered.  Ted wondered what he did to deserve this.  It seemed that no one could love him…not Michael, not Emmett and not Justin.  What was wrong with him?  How was it that an asshole like Brian could have everyone’s love and a nice guy like him could go without?  

 

Ted looked in the locker door where he had his pictures of him and Justin.  It was empty.  He turned his head, then made his way back to his desk and sat down.  With a slow and methodical motion, he unlocked his desk draw and took out every picture of Justin he had.  He organized them on his desk and looked at each picture remembering where he got them.  Some he took on his days out with Justin, some he got from Emmett and two he stole.  He ran his finger around some of the edges remembering having to cut Brian out and being upset he could still see a finger or a shirt.  He crumbled those pictures in his hand and tossed them in the garbage.  

 

There was something not right about the way he placed the pictures, so Ted rotated them until they sat the way they were in his locker.  He fought back his feelings the best he could, but to no avail.  When tears began to fall, Ted wiped them away.  He wanted to put his pictures back where they belonged, but knew he couldn’t.  Instead, he assembled the pictures and struggled as he tried to throw them all away.  

 

Ted allowed the pictures to fall into the garbage.  He looked into the garbage pail then dropped to his knees, immediately taking each picture out, including those he had crumpled up.  For some reason, they were defeating him and that made him sick.  Now upset with himself, he ripped up some of the photographs and tossed them in the trashcan, only to want to take them out the moment he did it.  Knowing his urge, he kicked the garbage can across the room in a rage.  He hid his face, hoping that would stop his tears, but it didn’t.  Instead, he looked down to see one crumpled up picture of Justin with a blackened out arm around him.  He ignored the fact that the arm belonged to Brian, placed the picture to his face and cried.

 

****

 

“I said I was sorry I don’t know how many times,” Lindsay said, leaning on a counter in the comic book shop.  There weren’t any customers, just Michael and Vic, who looked bored out of their minds.  “Mel can hardly say a thing to me besides all the normal Gus info.”

 

Michael raised his eyebrow and gave Lindsay a knowing look before exhaling loudly.  Apparently, they had gone over this before.  It just seemed, however, that Lindsay still didn’t get it.  Michael felt like she was a lost cause and wondered if he had ever acted so stupidly over Brian.  He rolled his eyes and just assumed he did.  First he felt sorry for himself then he couldn’t help but feel sympathy towards Lindsay.

 

“Tell me what I’m supposed to do,” Lindsay exclaimed, dropping her head to the counter with a loud thump.  

 

“Brian’ll forgive you,” Michael reasoned.  He wasn’t entirely positive, but Brian always seemed to forgive his closest friends.  “He just needs time.”

 

“It won’t make a difference,” Vic finally said, having sat and patiently listened through the entire conversation.  His comment seemed to get both Michael and Lindsay’s attention, which only made him smile.  “He can’t.”

 

“What do you mean he can’t?”  Lindsay wondered, not even bothering to look up when a ring on the door chimed.  

 

“You made it impossible, well almost impossible,” Vic clarified. “Your sexuality is in question, so I can see where Brian is coming from.”

 

“My sexuality?”  Lindsay gasped, finally glancing up.  “I’m proud to be a lesbian!  I love Mel!”

 

“You also love Brian,” Michael commented.  “Maybe you’re bi.”

 

“I am not!  I have not!  I….she….oh my God!”  Lindsay screeched, slamming her head on the counter once again.  After that, all she could do was mumble.  “I can’t believe I completely messed this up.”

 

“Hey Ma,” Michael said as Deb entered the shop.  “What’s going on?”

 

“Came here to see you guys,” Deb answered, taking a quick look at Lindsay and sympathizing.  She understood the plight the woman was in; however, she had other concerns at the moment.  “I need to ask you guys for some help.”

 

“What’s up sis?”  Vic wondered.

 

“Do you guys know who this poor kid is?”  Deb asked, showing the pictures to everyone, even Lindsay.  When they all shook their heads no, Deb sighed and turned to walk out of the shop.

 

“Hold up, Ma,” Michael called out, hurrying his way to his mother and taking the picture from her.  “What’s going on?”

 

“Another kid was found,” Deb replied.  “I’ve been looking around all day and no one knows who this poor kid is.”

 

“Poor thing,” Lindsay sympathized, after taking another look at the picture.  “He’s just a baby.”

 

“Maybe you need some help,” Michael suggested.  “Vic, can you handle the store?”

 

“I’ll see if I can’t take care of the hordes of customers by my lonesome,” Vic replied sarcastically.  

 

“I want to help,” Linds offered.  “Somehow after seeing this kid, feeling sorry for myself seems highly overrated.”

 

“Well,” Deb said, with a proud smile.  “Let’s stop by the police station to get some more pictures.  We’ll cover more ground if we split up.”

 

****

 

Brian sat at his desk, typing away at the computer.  Though he wondered what was happening with Justin, he knew he had work to finish before heading home.  He had successfully landed one fairly large deal with a new client, but it appeared the second wasn’t going to come through.  He wasn’t sure what had gone wrong, but he guessed that the client had found better wares at another agency…wares he would in no way give this female client.

 

Brian stared at the computer and ran through the numbers again. It seemed nothing was adding up lately, no matter what he did.  He rolled his eyes and slumped back in his seat when he noticed his error.  He had given the wrong numbers to the client. Brian tried to convince himself that it probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but in the end it didn’t matter.  He hated making mistakes, since he knew he was good at his job.

 

“Darby’s being a pain in the ass with me too,” Gardner said.

 

Brian glanced up and saw Gardner leaning on the doorway to his office.  Brian wondered how long he had been standing there, then decided it was a moot point.  They both knew Brian couldn’t land one of his clients, just as Gardner couldn’t land his.  

 

“Thought I had her,” Brian said of his apparently lost case.  “But I fucked up the numbers…I can’t believe I fucked up the numbers.”

 

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Gardner sighed.  “Just found out she’s been fucking Lacy from Karpers and Stitleman.”

 

“Then it was a lost cause,” Brian replied, feeling a little better.  “Because there’s no way in hell I was going to land her to land her.”

 

“I know you haven’t met him,” Gardner said, watching Brian closely, “but Darby’s a looker.  I’m not sure if you’ve seen him in the halls, but he saw you.  Let’s just say he was already impressed and you didn’t even have to pitch him.”

 

“Is that right?”

 

“I know you’re supposed to be pitching Jada Scott from Connor’s Inc, but,” Gardner said, seeing Brian put a hand over his face and close his eyes.  “…I was hoping you’d take over Darby while I handle Jada.  I think I can sway her while you’re more suitable to sway Darby.  C’mon Bri, use your magic on the guy.”  

 

Brian didn’t even have to think about it.  He knew what his magic would entail and, most importantly, knew how it would affect his relationship with Justin.  There was no way he was going to be the one to break the rules.  He hadn’t before and he wouldn’t start now.  He had seen Gardner’s infamous Darby a week or so ago.  The guy was hot and that only spelled trouble…with a capital T.  

 

“I’m all out of spells today,” Brian sighed, hoping Gardner would get the message.  

 

“Why not?”  Gardner wondered.  “It’s a big account and I know you need the m-”

 

“I would,” Brian said forcing a smile, “but Justin took my good spell book away…”

 

“Ahh,” Garder replied smirking.  He walked over to Brian’s desk and wrote some information down on a piece of paper.  “If Justin happens to give it back…here’s Darby’s number.”

 

Brian watched Gardner leave then he picked up the number.  He folded the paper neatly then moved to toss it in the garbage can.  His hand moved, but instead of throwing the paper away, he gripped it in his fist.  There had to be a way of winning this client without using that Kinney magic.  Right?

 

****

 

Brook and Ty arrived at Babylon not wearing their usual smiles.  Their purpose was supposedly to find Blake a date, but neither had spoken to Blake in Brook’s jeep.  All they could do was argue since Brian had left the loft earlier in the morning.  

 

“You know, I’m really tired of hearing it, Brook,” Ty said, over the sounds of thumping music.  “Why deny your love for Brian when it’s obvious to everyone…right Blake?”

 

“I’m still staying out of it,” Blake replied.  “Anyway, it’s probably not good for me to be here.  Maybe I should just go home.”

 

“What are you going to do?”  Brook wondered, already checking out the many hard bodied sights of Babylon.  “Walk home and get killed?  If you’re leaving, you’re going to have to take a taxi.”

 

“He’s not leaving,” Ty snapped.  “We just got here and we came here for him.  There’s no way in hell I’m letting him wish for that loser Ted when there’s many hotter fish in the sea.”

 

“I like Ted,” Blake said, though it was clear neither man was listening to him.  He glanced around the room and saw a guy staring at him.  He tried not to smile, but giggled when the man winked.

 

“This is shit,” Brook proclaimed, seeing a hot guy, then seeing Emmett and Nicky dancing next to him.  He glanced over and saw another guy, only to see that he was dancing with two others.  His first reaction was to take his prey, but when he saw who the other two men where, rage began to grow inside of him.  There was no way he could complete with Brian, but both Brian and Justin?  Then it dawned on him…why not him?  The guy they were dancing with was hot, but not hotter than him.  “I’m hotter than that guy, right?”

 

Ty rolled his eyes and wondered who, amongst all the men, he was supposed to be looking at.  When his eyes found Brian, Justin and the guy, he laughed out loud.  Brook was jealous and he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore.  Ty snickered at the thought.  He himself was a little jealous, but there was no way he was going to let it spoil his good time, as Brian and Justin’s little encounter seemed to be doing for Brook. 

  

 “It’s all a matter of taste,” Ty chuckled.  “Me, personally?  I think the guy’s up there…maybe even hotter than you.  The only problem you have is that Justin hates you with a passion, which means that Brian’s not going to touch your dick with a ten foot pole.”

 

“Fuck you,” Brook snapped, walking away from Ty.  He only got two steps away from his lover before meeting an understated but attractive man.  He pointed to the guy Brian and Justin were dancing with and asked if he was hotter than him.  When the attractive man said ‘yes’; Brook wrapped his arm around his shoulders and started walking out of Babylon.  He heard Ty screaming after him about being his ride, being his boyfriend and about killers on the loose, but he ignored him.  

 

“Fuck you too,” Ty screamed, although he knew Brook wouldn’t be able to hear him anymore.  “I can’t believe he would do that to us.  He’s such an asshole.”

 

Ty turned to look at Blake, only too see Michael standing where his roommate once was.  

 

“You’re just figuring this out?”  Michael answered, smiling with Ty rolled his eyes.

 

“If you don’t mind,” Ty hissed.  “I’m busy.  I’m here to help out my good buddy Blake who-”

 

“Who’s been dancing with a hot guy since I got here,” Michael finished, pointing to where Blake was on the dance floor.  “You’re such a good friend for paying attention.”

 

“Fuck.”

 

**** 

 

Brian and Justin arrived home with their trick in tow.  Brian motioned to the bathroom, having already forgotten the guy’s name.  He kissed Justin a few timed while taking off his jacket and slipping off his shoes.  He would have gotten more involved if it hadn’t been for the ring of his cell phone.

 

“Where are we going?”  The man asked as he came out of the bathroom.

 

“Upstairs,” Justin answered, tugging on Brian.

 

“Take him,” Brian told Justin answering his phone then looking at Justin.  “Hey Gardner, what’s up?”

 

Justin took the hint and showed the man to his and Brian’s bedroom.  He took off his shirt and shoes and sat on the bed simply holding the man’s hand.  After telling the man they had to wait for Brian several times, he sat up and called out for Brian.  When there was no response, he told the man he’d be right back and went back downstairs.

 

“Fuck,” Brian said, turning off the phone.  He watched Justin storm down the stairs and kissed his lover, wrapping his arms around him.

 

“We’re waiting,” Justin purred, groping Brian.

 

“Get him ready, I’ll be right up.”

 

“I’m not touching him,” Justin proclaimed, looking deeply into Brian’s eyes.  “Not without you around.”

 

“After one quick phone call,” Brian sighed, holding Justin tightly.  “I’ll be up in two minutes.”

 

Brian watched Justin leave, shaking his ass seductively as he made his way upstairs.  For the first time in a while, Brian was going to have to do something he really didn’t want to, though he knew he had to do it.  He reached into his pocket, retrieved Darby’s phone number and dialed.

 

“Mr. Darby?  My name is Brian Kinney and I’ve been told you wanted to set up a meeting with me regarding your account.”

 

****

 

“This whole day has been fucked,” Michael agreed, handing Ty a photograph.  “By any strange coincidence, do you know this guy?”

 

Ty looked at the picture closely and immediately knew the boy in it was dead.  It creeped him out, but not any more than the fact that the kid looked familiar.

 

“Maybe,” Ty answered.  “I think I saw him not too long ago.” 

 

“You have?”  Michael asked, finally getting a clue after searching all day.  “Me, my mom, Jimmy and Linds have been searching all day for just one person who knows who this kid is.”

 

“And you ended up here?”

 

“Thought it wouldn’t hurt,” Michael answered.  “So who is he?”

 

“Don’t really remember that,” Ty replied.  “But I think I know where to start looking.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“It’s better than going home with some random guy and fucking him.”

 

“Nowadays that can be deadly.”


	22. Two Steps Forward

Progress.  It is a means of growth or achievement, of gaining a level superior to a previous stage.  For some, it is the ability to accomplish something which could have not been accomplished before.  For others, it is something which will always be just out of reach.  For every step forward, it always seems they take two steps back.  Progress is merely a word, and sometimes it’s highly overrated.

 

****

 

Every kiss tasted like dessert, so delicious that he had to have more.  Not that he was into sweets, but there wouldn’t be any calories in this treat.  In fact, Justin had a way of helping him burn them off.  

 

“Are you going to answer that?”  Justin mumbled in between kisses.  

 

Brian raised an eyebrow and looked around.  His phone was sitting on the nightstand, so he leaned over to pick it up as Justin pressed kisses against his neck.  Reluctantly, Brian answered his phone not caring who would hear Justin’s passionate efforts on the other end.

 

“This better be good.”

 

“It’s not like you haven’t been with Justin a million times before,” Cynthia answered.  “It **is** Justin, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian replied, rolling his eyes.  “Can we get this over with?  I have more important things to do.  You know, Justin.”

 

“Just got a call from Darby’s people confirming your dinner meeting with him,” Cynthia explained.  “I knew you were wavering on that.  They wanted me to call back with a confirmation.”

 

“Call them back and tell them I can’t make it,” Brian sighed, returning Justin’s kisses, only to have his lover stand up.  “Where are you going?”

 

“I have class,” Justin answered, putting on a shirt.  “I was hoping you’d drop me off.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Sure what?”  Cynthia asked.

 

“Cancel the meeting,” Brian reminded her.  “I’ll call you back in a little bit.”

 

Brian hung up the phone and followed Justin downstairs.  Still only half dressed, he made no attempts to put anything on.  He simply stood at the bottom of the stairs as Justin collected his books and a few drawings.  

 

“Are you dropping me off?”  Justin asked.

 

“I was hoping we’d finish first,” Brian answered.  

 

“Class is only an hour,” Justin reminded him.  “We can finish when you bring me back home.”

 

Justin crossed his arms and gave Brian a knowing look.  It was that determined look that said Justin wasn’t going to budge.  Brian sighed and trotted back upstairs to put on more suitable clothing to drive his young lover to school.  When he came back down, he saw Justin flipping through the mail.

 

“What’s this?”

 

Brian raised an eyebrow and looked at the envelope Justin handed him.  Quickly, he opened up the envelope and read the contents.  Not all of the papers.  Just the bottom line.  IRS.  Back taxes.

 

“Fuck me,” Brian mumbled, dropping the papers onto a corner table before picking up the phone and dialing.  “It’s me.  Did you cancel?  Well, don’t.  Call and confirm.  Thanks.”

 

Brian turned and saw Justin reading the papers.  If he had had his choice, he would have kept it from Justin as long as possible.  However, it appeared he didn’t have a choice and Justin now knew there was something wrong.  

 

“We owe this?”

 

“I owe this,” Brian corrected.  “I’m going to fucking kill Ted.  Son of a bitch.”

 

“We,” Justin sighed, staring at the numbers.  

 

“Can you get someone to drive you home?”

 

“Sure,” Justin replied, putting the papers down and taking in the worried look on Brian’s face.  “Going to your business meeting?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Anything I should know?”

 

“Remember when I told you I’d warn you if we’re in trouble?” Brian wondered.  He saw the concern on Justin’s face, but there was no way to get around the truth.  “We’re in trouble.”

 

****

 

“There’s my baby boy,” Mel said, picking up Gus and holding her son in her arms.  “What do you want to do today?”

 

“Spongebob!”

 

“You want to watch Spongebob again?”  Mel asked.  “Oh, I guess I can add that to our plans.”

 

“I got him the computer game,” Lindsay told her partner.  “He hasn’t had a chance to play it yet, so if you want to stay here and try it out, it’s fine by me.”

 

“He’ll have more than enough time to play with it while I’m gone,” Mel quickly answered.  “I think I want to spend some alone time with my son, if you don’t mind.  Unless I can’t consider him my son anymore.”

 

“Of course he’s your son,” Linds quickly replied.  “No matter what happens between us.  I’m sorry I made you think otherwise.  I plead insanity.”

 

“Being in love with Brian,” Mel snickered, “I almost believe it.”

 

“I love you,” Lindsay said.  She looked into Mel’s eyes and without any hesitation, repeated her sentiment.  “I love you.  Not Brian…you.”

 

“I should be back sometime tonight,” Mel replied.  “I’ll give you a call with a more specific time.”

 

“Why don’t you stay for a while?  We could talk.”

 

“About us?”  Mel wondered, rolling her eyes.  “I’d rather not.”

 

“We could talk about something else,” Linds suggested.  “Earlier last week, I helped Deb and Carl search for the identity of another body they found.  You should have seen the picture.  He looked about fifteen, at most.”

 

“Poor kid,” Mel said, swinging Gus’ bag over her shoulder.  “So I’ll give you a time later today.”

 

“Can’t you stay longer?”

 

“No.”

 

“Mel, please-”

 

“I don’t trust you,” Mel snapped before Linds could continue.  “I don’t want to talk, because I have no idea how you could possibly earn my trust back.  I don’t even know how you could prove your love to me, because right now I don’t believe you ever loved me at all.”

 

“I always have, I always will.”

 

Mel sighed and turned away.  She didn’t know why, but she wasn’t surprised. Lindsay didn’t get it.  It seemed Lindsay was never one to see her own mistakes, though she was a pro at seeing others’.  Mel would have loved to have told Lindsay how to repair their broken relationship.  The only problem was that she didn’t know how.  Hell…Mel didn’t even know where to begin.

 

****

 

Brian walked into the restaurant wondering why he had never come before.  It was an elegant establishment and it was awkward to be carrying a portfolio with the campaign for his new client.  He told the host his name and was immediately led through the restaurant past several elite parties and romantic candle lit dinners.  The maitre’d showed him to the top floor and then out to a private balcony where Darby sat waiting for him.

 

“Mr. Darby,” Brian said, holding out a hand, only for his client to motion him towards an empty chair.  Brian placed his portfolio down and sat, wondering what the hell he had just gotten himself into.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you.

 

“Call me Will,” he replied.  “Gardner’s told me all about you, Brian.  May I call you Brian?”

 

“Of course,” Brian answered, glancing away momentarily.  He had seen Darby once before, but it was only it passing.  He hadn’t gotten a good look, and that was a good thing.  A man as stunning as Darby would have been a big bump on his journey back to Justin.  He still could be.  

 

“Let’s cut to the chase, Brian,” Will said, leaning in so close he could smell the expensive cologne on Brian’s clean, musky body.  “The moment I saw you I just knew…”  Darby sighed and leaned back smoothly.  “You’d give me exactly what I needed.”

 

If Darby would have said this to him five months ago, Brian would have had him spread eagled on his back screaming for more.  Brian closed his eyes cursing the visual and his imagination.  He recalled the time when he was his own man, someone who answered to none.  But, that was then and this was life with Justin.

 

“I’ve designed a campaign I think you’ll find effective,” Brian told him.  “Although Gardner’s ideas were quite well done.”

 

“I appreciated Gardner’s ideas,” Darby replied with a smile.  “In fact I think he might have had the best of the lot.”

 

“Then why do you need me?”

 

“Need is a good word…want is probably better.”

 

****

  

“This has got to be the worst week ever,” Michael complained, trudging through an alleyway.  He looked back and saw his companion and sighed.  “The absolute worst.”

 

“It’s been no picnic for me either, ‘ole whiney one,’ ” Ty mumbled, following, though not very closely.  

 

“Then why come?”  Michael asked.  “It’s not like any of your other ideas have panned out so far.  You said you knew who this kid was and we’ve searched every nook and cranny and no one we’ve seen even recognizes this kid.”

 

“This has to be it,” Ty said, pointing to an escape ladder.  “This is a squatter’s town.  I stayed here when I first got came to Pittsburgh.  If it’s not this place, then maybe I was wrong.”

 

“You probably were.”

 

“Thanks for the confidence,” Ty mumbled, climbing the ladder to the sixth floor.  He entered the run down building and saw that Michael had followed him closely.  

 

The room was full of smoke and dusty air, which made Michael cough.  The smell was all engulfing, making both men’s eyes water and their lungs sting.  They walked through the trash filled building, stepping over passed out bodies when necessary.  

 

“What is that smell?”  Michael wondered, covering his face with his jacket the best he could.

 

“Crack and freebase,” Ty answered, searching each face until he found the one he was looking for.  He walked over to a group of young men, who sat passing around a glass pipe.  “Hey Jordan.”

 

Jordan took his hit and reluctantly passed the pipe.  He looked up at Ty and greeted him.  “Haven’t seen you ‘round these parts in a while.  You strike it rich or som’in?”

 

“Yeah, I found the golden dick,” Ty sarcastically replied.  He took out the picture of the young man and handed it to Jordan.  “You remember this kid?”

 

“Yeah,” Jordan mumbled, nodding his head.  “What the fuck was this kid’s name?”  He wiped his face, spreading the dirt around, and sniffed.  After the pipe returned and he took another hit, his eyes glazed and he smiled.  “Jason.  I think he said he was from Maine or some shit like that.  That help?”

 

“It helps a ton,” Ty replied.  

 

“Was he your golden dick?”

 

“Hope not,” Ty sighed.  “He’s dead.”

 

“Nothing worse than a dead dick,” Jordan chuckled. 

 

“Thanks for your help,” Ty said, taking out a ten dollar bill and handing it over to Jordan.  

 

“Naw man, thank you,” Jordan gleefully responded.  “If it helps, the last time I saw him he was hustling some guy outside of Babylon.  The guy had brown hair, brown eyes, kinda understated and kinda cute all at once.  That help?”

 

“Helps a ton,” Ty replied, walking away from the group.  “Understated.”

 

“What?”  Michael asked.

 

“Jordan said the guy was understated,” Ty mumbled.  “Somehow that sounds familiar.”

 

“Understated,” Michael said, rolling his eyes.  “There are plenty of guys out there who are understated.”

 

“Yeah,” Ty sighed.  “But are you interested in finding the guy…or not?”

 

Michael looked at Ty and snickered.  Of course he wanted to know.  The problem was the fact that he’d have to spend more time with Ty to find out.  He couldn’t think of anything worse.  

 

****  

 

“As tempting as that is,” Brian coolly replied.  “I have to tell you that I have…that I am…”  Brian ran through the words in his mind, yet somehow none of them seemed to fit.  

 

“Married?”

 

“Not formally,” Brian answered.  To him it seemed so absurd that he couldn’t even look Darby in the eyes when he said it.  It almost seemed like a lie.  

 

“He won’t mind what he doesn’t know,” Darby said.  

 

Brian chuckled at Will’s bluntness.  He was expecting a little more subtlety, but it seemed to be in short supply as of late.  

 

“Why me?” Brian asked.  “I’m sure you get your fair share.”

 

“Have you looked in the mirror lately?”  Darby chuckled.  “You’ve got to be the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.”

 

Brian opened his mouth to say something when it dawned on him that he couldn’t blame the man.  Brian had always prided himself as being what every man wanted.  A thought ran through his mind, that Justin wouldn’t find out.  It was immediately erased; he wasn’t about to break his promise to Justin.  Then he thought he could always come clean to Justin, but he pushed that out of his head.  Justin would never understand.  In fact, he really didn’t himself.  There was, however, one possibility that he hadn’t tried yet.  

 

“That’s what Justin always says,” Brian replied.

 

“He’s right,” Darby agreed, “which is why he should know he has to share.”

 

“Well,” Brian sighed, “we do everything together…even share.  You should meet Justin.  He’s got an ass that would make J-Lo cry and Ben Affleck go back to blonds.  Justin’s got these beautiful blue eyes and his smile just lights up and…”  Brian looked at Darby, then immediately averted his eyes.  He had been rambling like a lovesick fool.  Two steps short of professing his undying love and not only wasn’t Justin around, he wasn’t even in deep shit.  How fucking embarrassing.

 

“Sounds like you love him very much.”

 

“You should meet him,” Brian said, trying to regain some of the composure he seemed to have lost.  “I’m sure he’d love to meet you.  Although he might just want to leave me if he did.”

 

“Somehow I doubt that,” Darby replied.  “And as nice as he sounds, I think I’d rather have that private meeting with you and only you.  I run all my deals the same way.  I pick a company and stick with them.  I don’t like to share and I especially don’t like to waste my time.  So, Brian, don’t waste my time.”

 

“If I want this deal?”

 

Darby smiled and watched the look on Brian’s face.  For the most part the ad partner had been as smooth as silk.  That is, until he started talking about Justin.  Will was always the center of attention and being the third wheel on Brian’s lovecycle was unacceptable.  There was the logical part of him telling him pursuing this any further just might get him a lawsuit, but then there was that other part of him…the one between his well toned cheeks, begging for some attention.  Darby saw the look in Brian’s eyes and it called to him.  There was something about that man that made him make decisions he wouldn’t normally make.  For him, Brian Kinney was a little piece of heaven he just couldn’t pass up.

 

“You’ll deal.”

 

****   

 

Lindsay walked into Dani’s office smiling, though it was short lived.  Dani didn’t even look up from the mountain of paperwork spread across her small desk.  The District Attorney just asked what she wanted while reading from a large book.

 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt you, Dani.”

 

“If you didn’t want to interrupt me you wouldn’t have come,” Dani replied, finally looking at her old friend.  She wasn’t pleased and there was no way to hide that.  

 

“I heard about the other boy who died,” Lindsay said.  “I helped Carl and Deb look around for who he was.  I just wish I could have been more help.”

 

“Yes, it’s one of the many shitty cases I have dropped in my lap,” Dani snapped.  “But I know you didn’t come here to chat about dead boys or, my other personal favorite, an armed man robbing ice cream parlors.  As you can see I have a lot of shit to take care of, so if you don’t mind cutting to the chase.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Lindsay said.  “I really fucked things up and I just wanted to apologize.”

 

“That’s a very nice sentiment,” Dani scoffed.  “But you shouldn’t be apologizing to me; you should be apologizing to Brian and Mel…but maybe you should be apologizing to me too…for making me take Brian’s side.  Actually, you should.  I really resent that.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Lindsay repeated.  “I talked to Brian and he said he forgives me, but I can tell he’s still upset.  He hasn’t come over to see me and he even sends Justin over to pick up Gus.”

 

“He’s sending you a message,” Dani said, cracking a smile.  “Are you getting it?”

 

“It’s coming in crystal clear,” Lindsay replied.  “I need your help…please Dani, I need your help.  I don’t know how to fix this.”

 

“With Brian?”

 

“With Mel!”  Lindsay corrected, tears starting to fall down her cheek.  “I know you think I have a thing for Brian and maybe for a moment, I was blurring the lines, but I love Mel.  I really do.”

 

“A moment?”  Dani chuckled shaking her head.  In her mind it was over a decade, that she knew of.  The most important thing, however, was the fact that Lindsay wanted Mel back.  Maybe there was still hope for those two, only how to fix that situation was a puzzle.  “Maybe we can figure something out.”

 

****

 

“I don’t see why we couldn’t go there,” Ty snickered, walking into the loft with Michael behind.  “I think that guy could be the serial killer guy we’re looking for.”

 

“Who are we?”  Michael asked sarcastically.  “Jack Webb and Joe Friday?”

 

“Who?”

 

Michael slammed the door to the loft and declared, “I’m going to use the bathroom then I’m leaving!”

 

“Fine, leave then,” Ty replied, shaking his head.  “You big fucking baby.”

 

Ty took off his jacket and noticed Blake sitting quietly reading a book.  They exchanged hellos then started talking about Ty’s and Michael’s quest to discover the name of the dead boy.  As the story unfolded, Ty made sure Blake understood the harrowing adventure that took them into the realm of drug addicts and homelessness.  

 

“I used to live there,” Blake reminded his roommate.  “Anything else scary you want to tell me?”

 

“Oh fuck,” Ty sighed.  “You’re no fun.  Has Brook come home yet?  I bet he’d enjoy my story.”

 

“He’s still a no show,” Blake replied.  “Is that normal for him?  To be gone for an entire week?”

 

“He’s a slut,” Michael said, walking into the room.  “I’m surprised he comes here at all.”

 

“He is a slut,” Blake agreed with a smile.  “But you’d think he’d come here for a little home cooking from Ty.  Ty is his regular you know.”

 

“That’s true,” Michael agreed.

 

“What am I?”  Ty snickered.  “Metamucil?”

 

“Did you try calling Dani?”  Michael suggested.

 

“I’ll call her,” Ty sighed, leaning over and picking up the phone.  “Hey Dani, it’s your most favorite of Brook’s little harem.”  Ty giggled and winked at Michael, who just groaned.  “I got two things for you.  One: we found the name of the kid.  And two…”  Ty paused and shrugged his shoulders.  “Jason.  My contact says he’s from Maine, but he’s not positive.  I don’t know.  I just wanted to say contact ause it sounds so much better than ‘the guy I blew that one time’.  You’re welcome, I just love giving you visuals.”

 

“You blew that guy?”  Michael asked, his face showing nothing but distaste.

 

“He wasn’t bad when I first met him,” Ty replied.  “You can fall real fast doing that shit.”  Blake silently nodded, at which Ty could only smile.  “Sorry.  You’re welcome, it’s my pleasure.”  The blond saw Michael sneer and added, “Michael helped too, if you call whining until my ears bled ‘help’.  I will.  What?  Oh yeah Two: Have you seen Brook?”

 

Ty listened for a while then finally said goodbye and hung up the phone.  He relayed a thank you to Michael from Dani and slumped down in his seat.

 

“She said we shouldn’t worry too much about Brook,” Ty said.  “She says he’s been gone for a week or so before and turned up still horny.  Not that we should be surprised.  Brook’s always horny.”

 

“I hate to change the subject,” Blake interrupted, “but have you talked to Ted, Michael?”

 

“No, I’ve been at the shop and trying to figure out who that kid was,” Michael replied.  “We did a good job, didn’t we Ty?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“I was just thinking about that description,” Michael said.  Although he said he was going to leave, he sat next to Ty and thought aloud.  “Do you think we could take it to Carl and have one of those sketch artist things done?”

 

“We don’t have enough information.”

 

“But Jordan saw the guy,” Michael reminded.  “What if we take Jordan down to the station and have him give a description to the sketch artist?”

 

“Jordan’s not going anywhere near a fucking police station,” Ty chuckled.  To him the idea was absurd.  “And even if we did, did you not see the crack he was smoking?  The more he’ll think about it, the more fucked up his memory will be.  We got the only information we’re going to get out of him.”

 

“Don’t you think we should try?”

 

“I guess we could go to Carl,” Ty sighed.  “What do you think Blake?  When you were all doped up, would you have helped us?”

 

Blake looked at the pair next to him and snorted.  Of course he would have helped, but he didn’t really feel like helping now.  He had asked one simple question and it seemed as if no one gave a shit.  No one gave a shit about Ted but him.  

 

****

 

Brian came home and dropped his portfolio on the floor.  He ignored his normal ritual of calling out for Justin, heading directly to the bar to pour himself a drink.  He downed the first one quickly, and then poured himself another when he saw Justin standing in the doorway.

 

“I didn’t know if you’d still be hungry,” Justin said softly.  “So I made dinner anyway.”  

 

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes and knew something was wrong.  That wasn’t the most troubling part however.  What bothered Justin was that Brian wasn’t even trying to pretend.  Apparently, it was something that Brian couldn’t just handle or take care of on his own.  Justin took a deep breath and wondered what was going on and how big it was going to be.  Looking at Brian, his heart pounded.  Brian never did anything small.  It was never one step, it was two.  So if the normal man took one step forward, two steps back, Brian took two steps forward and four steps back.  Justin prayed that he didn’t get trampled in the dance. 

 

“What’s wrong?”  Justin asked, finally approaching his partner.

 

“My problem,” Brian answered.  “I’ll handle it.”

 

“Your problem is my problem,” Justin reminded him.  “If you’re going down…I’m going down with you.”

 

“Fuck,” Brian mumbled, emptying his drink with one swig.  He turned his glass upside down and slid it across the bar.  He didn’t understand why it had to be that bad.  He had done it before.  Brian looked over at Justin and saw his lover’s worried eyes, so bright…so blue.  “Fuck.”

 

Justin wrapped an arm around Brian and begged for his lover just to tell him what was going on.  Brian responded by turning his back to the bar and sliding down until both men were seated on the floor.  Taking Justin into his arms, Brian closed his eyes and wondered when it was that everything got so fucked up. 

 

“Money’s bad,” Brian declared.  He knew Justin was fully aware of that fact, but nothing was set in stone until Brian declared it.  This was stone.  

 

“I know you don’t want to,” Justin said, facing Brian.  “You have to sell the loft.”

 

“We won’t get the money fast enough,” Brian replied.  “First we have to give the guys a month’s notice for eviction, then we have to find a buyer, then we have to go to escrow…”

 

“We are fucked.”

 

“Maybe,” Brian sighed.  He wanted to look Justin in the eye and tell him Darby’s proposition, but there was something stopping him.  Maybe it was Justin’s bright blue eyes he didn’t want to see cry.  Maybe he was seeing in Justin’s eyes what he had been feeling; something he never thought he’d associate with himself.  But, Brian Kinney didn’t feel shame. “There’s this client…he owns Plato’s Records and some other stores up and down the east coast.  He wants to go nationwide, and he’s willing to spend millions to do it.”

 

“There’s a catch, isn’t there?”

 

“I’m part of the deal.”

 

“Permanently?”

 

“No,” Brian replied, briefly cracking a smile.  “Just long enough to get his rocks off.”

 

“Is he an old man like the last one?”

 

Brian thought about what Justin said and had to remember who Justin thought the last one was.  When he remembered, he shook his head and wondered how he ever could do some of the things he did.  Some of the men he did.  It was his first real look at Brian Kinney and he didn’t much like what he saw.  

 

“He’s hot,” Brian responded.  “Under normal circumstances I’d be fucking him right now.”

 

“What about if we go together,” Justin suggested.  “Two for the price of one.  He can’t beat that.”

 

“I already tried that,” Brian sighed.  “I fucked it up when I started talking about you.  He knew how much I… _fuck_.”

 

“He doesn’t want me,” Justin said, hanging his head low. “Because you love me?”

 

“Something like that.”

 

Tears filled Justin’s eyes, though he didn’t shed a one.  He wanted to be strong, but it wasn’t easy when every time he turned around, his relationship was being tested.  He supposed this was the biggest test of them all.  

 

“How bad is it?”  Justin wondered. “With the money?”

 

“I’m telling you.”

 

Brian closed his eyes the second he saw Justin’s tears.  He took Justin’s hand in his own and swore to himself he wasn’t going to cry.  This was easy.  He’d fuck the guy and that would be that.  But things were never that easy.  Brian knew that, and it seemed it wasn’t lost on Justin.  Darby would be the first, so who would the next be?  To every end there was always a beginning and Brian wondered if this would be it for them.  There were no ‘rules’ in their relationship, but there was way in which they lived.  They were a couple and they’d do things as a couple.  

 

“It’s just this one time,” Justin said, his voice cracking with every word.  “I understand.  It’s not like you’ll be doing this all the time.”

 

Brian finally opened his eyes and immediately regretted it.  He locked his jaw, but it couldn’t stop the single tear that trailed its way down his cheek.  He took a deep breath and felt a rumbling in his chest that hinted of more tears, so he closed his eyes and pressed Justin’s body into his own.  

 

“Fuck.” 


	23. Finding Solutions

Not every problem has a solution.  That is a simple fact of life.  One of the greatest evils in the world is never finding an answer to a riddle or mystery.  It sticks in your mind and can eat away at you slowly.  Just like a television show that has its main character’s life on the line in a season cliffhanger and is then cancelled without ever showing what happened to that character.  

 

The worst is seeing a black screen with the words ‘to be continued’ and never seeing a follow up.  It’s strange how it can affect a viewer or reader, even if the show or story isn’t very good.  For better or for worse, people want closure.  “It’s better to know than to not know at all.”  That’s the saying…until you know.  Then it’s usually, “Ignorance is bliss”.  Sometimes the solution to a problem is worse than the problem itself but, then again, sometimes it’s not.

 

****          

 

Justin poured two cups of coffee and added milk and sugar accordingly.  He smiled when he handed Brian his cup.  There was something so sweet about the gesture.  It was the simple pleasure of handing a cup of coffee to his man that made Justin’s day and his smile brighter than ever.

 

Brian tried to hide it, but there was no escaping his good mood.  It seemed like forever since he had felt a state of contentment.  Such a shame considering it suited him rather well.  

 

Brian inhaled the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and opened his mouth to ask Justin which flavor he’d used.  He smiled and thought better of it.  It didn’t matter.  Instead he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his lover’s lips, wanting more, but knowing he had work to do.  

 

As Justin grabbed onto him, Brian wished he could stay longer.  Although he’d rather it hadn’t, he was glad the phone rang, reminding his young lover that work needed to be done.  

 

“No.  I don’t know,” Brian replied, allowing Justin to sink into his arms.  “Maybe a few weeks ago, but I’m not sure.  Sure.  Shit.  I will.  Sure.”

 

“That him?”

 

“No,” Brian stated.  

 

Brian leaned and pressed his lips against Justin’s.  He sighed.  He wanted more, but there was nothing he could do about it now.  He had work to do.  Work.  If you would call it work.  He wouldn’t.  

 

“You love me,” Justin whispered.

 

“You know I do.”

 

****

 

“I’d say good morning, but I guess it’s not,” Ty said, waltzing into the ADA’s office. “You don’t have an office?”  

 

“You don’t call this an office?”  Dani retorted, leaning back in her chair.  

 

“No,” Ty snorted, sashaying over to Dani and leaning against the wall.  “I call it a cubicle that you share with someone that apparently hasn’t been paying their maid.  I mean it’s nothing like what you see on ‘Law and Order’.  Jack McCoy has his own office.”

 

“That’s TV, sweetie,” Dani said with a smile.  “In real life, assistant district attorney’s sit in an office together with a shit load of different cases they work on.  I’ve never met an ADA who works one case and only one case, then moves to the next.”

 

“Depressing.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Dani agreed.  “So, I know you’re not here to chit chat about my job.  What’s up, Sunshine?”

 

“Don’t call me that,” Ty sniped, rolling his eyes.  “That’s what everyone calls St. Justin, patron saint of the Church of His Holy Fucked Ass, located in Bubble Butt, USA.”

 

“A little jealous?”

 

“No,” Ty replied with a smile.  “I just got baptized yesterday.  Now I can be officially fucked…but, only if it’s by a sanctioned member.  Or a long and thick one, which ever comes first.”

 

“I’m sure Brook put himself in that category,” Dani laughed.  “Not that I’d know.”

 

“I would if I actually saw him,” Ty said, his voice changing to a more serious tone.    “Have you?”

 

“No, but that doesn’t surprise me,” Dani replied.  “His bosses called me and told me that he got fired.  He’s probably waiting until I cool off; what he doesn’t know is that that I’m not going to.”

 

“But why wouldn’t he go to his home away from home?”

 

“I’m not sure.  Hold on a sec,” Dani said, picking up the phone and dialing.  “Bri, its Dani, have you seen Brook? When’s the last time you saw him?  If you see him, tell him I’m not mad that he lost his job.  Tell him he needs to bring his ass home to see me and his dick to his other home to see Ty.  Thanks.”

 

“No go?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“What’s up?”  Lindsay asked, walking to the room.  “Is there something wrong?”

 

“Brook’s been a no show for a few weeks,” Dani replied.  “But that’s another problem…do anything about your own?”

 

“I did something,” Lindsay said with a hopeful smile.  “Something a little extreme, but I hope it works.”

 

“Trying to win back Mel, huh?”  Ty asked, with a mischievous grin.  “You’re going to have to do a whole lot of shit, then do a whole lot more to fix your fuck up.  Trust me, I know a thing or two about fuck ups.”

 

“Can you do magic?”  Lindsay wondered aloud.  “I would need some to help me try and fix my fuck up?”

 

“I can do magic,” Ty replied confidently.  “And I will help you fix your fuck up.  In no time flat you and Mel will be eating hair pie and shopping for power tools.”

 

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Lindsay chuckled.

 

“With powers like that, is there anything you can’t do?”  Dani asked playfully.

 

“Sure,” Ty replied sadly.  “I can’t stop Brook from tricking.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

 

**** 

 

Emmett strolled into Ted’s office of porn, dodging naked men and enjoying fond flashbacks of his time as “Fetch Dixon”.  Not seeing Ted, he asked an employee who pointed to a back office and made his way towards it.  He knocked on the door and came in when Ted called out.  

 

“How are you this afternoon?”  Em asked, his smile beaming.  Seeing the grimace on Ted’s face almost made him frown, but he didn’t.  Instead, Emmett broadened his smile and placed a paper bag on his friend’s desk.  “I brought you lunch.  I figured you would be stuck behind your desk as always, and it seems that I was right.  I got you your favorite.”

 

“Thanks,” Ted replied solemnly.  “I’ll have some later.”

 

“You should eat,” Em said quickly.  He momentarily looked away when Ted sneered, then decided that there was no reason for him to change his ways for Ted.  “I know you haven’t eaten all morning, so don’t try and play it off.  The next time you look at the clock it will be dinner time, then you would have missed breakfast and lunch.  Am I right?”

 

Ted sighed.  He tried to avert his eyes, but he had to look up at Emmett.  He could feel his best friend staring at him and it made him smile.

 

“You’re right,” Ted replied.  

 

Ted reached into the bag and pulled out the sandwich and salad.  He took out the napkins and tossed the bag into the garbage only to realize there wasn’t a fork.  Opening up his desk drawer, he flipped through some pictures and found the utensil.

 

“Oh Ted…”

 

“What?”  Ted wondered aloud, stabbing the lettuce with his fork and putting the food to his mouth.  “Oh yeah, thanks Em.  I needed this.”

 

“Justin is never going to love you,” Em said bluntly.  “He’s in love with Brian, you know that.”

 

“What?”

 

“The pictures,” Em replied, pointing to the drawer.  “You told Brian you threw away those pictures, but you didn’t.  Ted, honey, you’re going to have to get over this little Justin crush you have.  I think it’s really starting to piss Brian off.”

 

“I really don’t care what Brian thinks!”

 

“Neither do I,” Em agreed, “but what about what Justin thinks?  He thinks you’re acting creepy and honestly, I can’t blame him.  I think you’re acting creepy.”

 

“Thanks so much for your support,” Ted said [c] sarcasm dripping from his lips.  “All of you are like Brian.  With backstabbing friends like you I don’t need enemies!”

 

“Backstabbing?”  Em scoffed, pointing to himself, a little shocked by the accusation.  “I have supported you, even if you didn’t want me to.  Michael has always supported you.  Justin even supported you until you built a shrine of him that had pictures with Brian cut out of them.  Don’t you see how creepy that is?  Don’t you watch A&E?!”

 

“Backstabbing,” Ted repeated.  “Michael didn’t want me so he could swoon after Brian for another fifteen years.  Justin went back to Brian because Brian isn’t man enough to let him go and Justin’s young enough to think that he can change him.  You?  Given the chance, you’d be a bitch on his back begging to take your turn on the Kinney fuck machine.”

 

“You’ve lost your mind,” Em replied softly.  “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you should really consider taking Blake back.  Unlike Michael, Justin or…me…he’s actually in love with you, because you don’t have a snowballs chance in hell with Justin.  You never did.”

 

“Get the fuck out!”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

****     

 

Melanie sat in her office and tried to read the newspaper.  It would have been easy but for the flowers that surrounded her.  They kept arriving throughout the day, all from Lindsay, all begging for forgiveness. Her office was filled with roses, violets and a dozen other flowers she couldn’t name.  

 

It was a wonderful gesture, but Mel wasn’t about to crack that easily.  A few flowers weren’t going to erase the things that Lindsay had done.  Being forgiven wasn’t that simple.  So, to take her mind from it all, Mel turned her attention back to her newspaper.  First she read the front page, and then she turned to the local section.  She scowled when she saw the almost non existent coverage of the most recent death and turned the page only to be surprised.  There it was in black and white, filling an entire page in the local newspaper: a picture of Mel and Linds kissing, with a plea ‘Please forgive me Mel.  I love you.  I’ll always love you.  Yours forever, Lindsay.”

 

“Holy fucking shit,” Mel mumbled, staring at the paper.  Her mouth dropped open and she was about to curse some more when there was a knock at her door.

 

“Ms. Marcus?”  A woman said.  The woman stood in front of several others and smiled.

 

“Yes,” Mel answered, trying to regain some composure.  This was an office and she was a professional.  “Please come in and sit.  How can I help you?”

 

“You can’t help us,” the woman replied, “but we can help you.  We have a message from a woman who loves you very much.  Melanie Marcus, Lindsay loves you and always will.”

 

The women cleared their throats and began singing, “I love her, I love her, I love her.  And where she goes I follow, I follow, I follow, I follow.  I will follow her (Follow her), follow her wherever she may go…”

 

Mel’s mouth dropped open again.  She listened to the entire song shocked, wondering what could possibly happen next.  Even the other employees at her firm took interest, accumulating at her doorway, listening to the serenade.  Hearing the women were done with their song, Mel reached into her purse to give them a tip. She tried to hand the woman in charge the money only for the group to begin singing, “Always and forever.”

 

“Oh my,” Mel sighed, slumping into her chair still stunned.  

 

When was it all going to end?  Mel figured she was going to have to talk to Lindsay after all.  The thing was she wasn’t sure what she would say.  Mel reached for the phone only for it to ring as she grabbed for it.  Her first instinct was that it was Lindsay.  It wasn’t.

 

“Sounds like an interesting way to beg for forgiveness,” Dani said.

 

“I can’t believe she did all of this.”

 

“You wouldn’t believe what else she’s up to,” Dani told Mel. 

 

“What?”

 

“Can’t talk about it now,” Dani replied, “but I’m free for an early dinner.  You game?”

 

“The second I can get these women out of my office,” Mel answered with a sigh.  “I may have to stop for some aspirins.”

 

**** 

 

Justin walked into the hotel bar and took a deep breath.  There were a few people sitting around, but he immediately focused on the sexy man sitting alone.  Strolling up casually, he moved next to Darby and leaned up against the bar.  He glanced at the bartender, and then bit his thumbnail slowly switching his glance towards Darby.  He had gotten the man’s attention, but not enough to suit his purposes.

 

“You’re not a cop are you?”  Justin asked.  

 

“No,” Darby chuckled.  “Are you?”

 

“No,” Justin replied with a smile.  “I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind buying me a drink.  I’m not hustling you for a drink or anything, I could give you the money.  I’m just not old enough…my boyfriend usually buys my drinks for me and I guess he’s running a little late.”

 

Darby stared at Justin and smiled.  Darby thought the young man might have been a hustler, though he would have bought the blond a drink anyway.  He asked Justin what he wanted and told the bartender.  

 

“Thanks,” Justin told Darby, sipping on his Midori Margarita. He plopped on a barstool, took another drink and then looked at his watch.

 

“He’s late, huh?”  Darby asked, coolly glancing towards Justin.  When he saw Justin nod yes, he shook his head, finished off his drink and motioned to the bartender.  “My date’s late too.”

 

“I should be used to it,” Justin sighed.  “My boyfriend gives the term casually late a bad name.  Not as bad as one of his best friends, but we won’t even go there.”

 

“Another whiskey on the rocks, Mr. Darby?”  The bartender asked, leaving when Darby said yes.  

 

“Name’s Will Darby,” he said, putting out a hand which Justin shook.  “And yours?”

 

“Justin,” the blond replied.  “Some people call me Sunshine, but I prefer Justin.”

 

“Then Justin it is,” Darby said with a smile.  “Sunshine, huh?  It fits you perfectly.”

 

“You shouldn’t say that too loud,” Justin told the man, smiling at the bartender when she handed Darby his drink.  “Your date might think it’s weird or she just might get jealous.”

 

Justin grinned when the bartender snorted and walked away.  He turned his attention back to Darby and chuckled.  

 

“I don’t think my date will mind,” Darby replied.  “He’s not even my boyfriend.”

 

“Too bad for him.”

 

Darby looked Justin up and down and couldn’t wipe the smile from his face.  He could stare into Justin’s eyes for hours, but they kept wandering to other parts.  Darby licked his lips and took a sip of his drink, never taking his eyes from Justin.

 

“You know,” Darby said, “if I were your boyfriend, I would never be so stupid as to leave you alone in a bar waiting.”

 

Justin grinned.  He would have said something, but it wouldn’t have been as effective.  His smile seemed to be doing to trick perfectly.

 

****     

 

Dannen and Melanie sat looking over their menus.  Even though both women were hungry, they couldn’t stop talking about Lindsay.  Well, Mel was talking about Lindsay, Dani was sitting and listening attentively.  

 

“I don’t know what she’s thinking,” Mel said.  “I don’t know if she thinks that a few flowers and some singers are just going to make our relationship better.  But, you know it’s not.”

 

“Don’t forget about the newspaper ad.”

 

“How could I?”  Mel asked, befuddled.  “It was huge!  I wonder what she was thinking!”

 

“I’m not entirely sure,” Dani fibbed, glancing over Mel’s shoulder.  “But if you really want to know, you can ask her yourself since she’s coming in.”

 

Mel turned around and saw Lindsay walking towards them.  Her partner was wearing a trench coat and a scared look on her face.

 

“Where’s Gus?”  Mel immediately asked when Lindsay came to the table.

 

“Debbie’s watching him for a while,” Linds replied.  “I thought we could use some time alone to talk.”

 

“This isn’t the time or the place,” Mel told her partner.  She gave Dani an evil look knowing full well she had been set up.  “I’ll call you later then maybe we can talk.”

 

“I love you,” Lindsay stated, slowly taking off her trench coat.  Before Mel could say a word, Lindsay stood before her lover bare naked, but for words written on her body.  ‘I am a lesbian.’  “I miss you so much and I am so, so sorry.”

 

“Put your clothes back on,” Mel screeched, picking up the trench coat and swinging it over Lind’s shoulders.  “What are you doing?”

 

“I couldn’t think of any other way,” Lindsay replied, tears falling down her face.  “I didn’t know what else to do.”

 

“Let’s go home and talk.”

 

Dani and the rest of the restaurant watched and Linds and Mel left.  She laughed thinking Ty was right: humiliation works wonders.  She called to the waiter for her tab and answered her cell phone when it rang.  

 

“What?”

 

****

 

“He’s never been this late before,” Justin said, glancing at his watch.  “How about your guy?”

 

“First date.”

 

“Not a very good impression.”

 

“He’s almost worth it,” Darby replied.  “Honestly, he might not show…and if my guy doesn’t show and your guy doesn’t show…maybe we should just have dinner together.”

 

“That sounds like a great idea.”

 

“Wonderful,” Darby said with a smile.  He glanced to his left and saw Brian approaching.  Although the man looked stunning as ever, he wasn’t pleased he had to wait so long.  He frowned at Justin, then immediately glanced to Brian and back to Justin again.  “Maybe we should meet another day, since my date has finally made his appearance.”

 

Brian strolled up to the bar, smiling seeing the confident grin on Justin’s face.  He stood between Darby and Justin, waiting for his client to say something about his tardiness.  Like other things that night, he was right on the money.

 

“You’re late, Brian,” Darby said coolly. 

 

Brian simply raised an eyebrow and grinned.  The same cocky grin he wore when he knew he’d fucked every sexy man in the room.  He slipped an arm around Justin’s back, and then slipped his tongue in his lover’s mouth.  French kissing had always been a favorite pastime for the two, but there was something special about kissing in a public place in front of a man who could have been the downfall of their relationship.  Brian never did anything small.  He almost threw a party for the occasion, but for the simple fact that he hadn’t lost the account just yet.  

 

“I’d introduce you,” Brian said, after the display was over, “but it seems as if you’ve already met.”

 

“That’s pretty sneaky,” Darby admitted, not really knowing how to handle the new revelation.   

  

“I had to know,” Justin explained, flashing his winning smile.  “Cause I really hate it when Brian has more fun than me.”

 

“You two are the complete package,” Darby sighed, glancing down the bar counter to the bartender.  “There’s a dinner for two in my suite, though I’m sure there’s enough for all of us.  Room 520.  I’m going to settle my tab.”

 

Brian took the card key Darby placed on the bar counter and pocketed it.  He looked into Justin’s eyes and sighed, “This is the last time.”

 

“Yeah?”  Justin wondered aloud, a little surprised by the decree.  “You promise?”

 

“I promise,” Brian replied solemnly.  “So let’s make it good.”

 

****

 

“Please,” Ty begged as Em folded up his clothes.  “I don’t want to go alone.”

 

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Em snickered.  “It’s not like you haven’t been to the police station before.  Just go there, see what Carl wants and then leave.”

 

“It’s creepy.”

 

“What’s creepy?”

 

“I don’t know!”

 

“You’re creepy,” Em replied, flustered.  “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but if it will get you to shut up, then I’ll go with you.”

 

Just to be safe, Em and Ty took a cab to the police station and went inside.  When they went to the information desk, they found that they were supposed to go to floor B, room M102.  They went into the elevator, pressed B and proceeded down to the basement.  They walked down a long concrete hallway and then to room M102.  Slowly, Ty pushed the door open and walked inside to see Carl and Deb standing by a large table.  They heard crying, but ignored it when they saw that there was a cloth covering something on the table.  Although Emmett stopped in his tracks, Ty approached the cloth and took a piece of it in his hand.  He heard voices, but couldn’t understand what they were saying.  He looked up and the only person he seemed to see was Dani.  He wasn’t sure if she had originally been there when he entered, but he shoved the thought away.  With one quick movement, he pulled the cloth aside and stood frozen staring at the dead body underneath it.

 

Ty heard wailing from behind him, but he couldn’t move.  It had to have been Emmett, but he couldn’t turn around.  He saw Dani turn away and Debbie’s solemn voice tell him that he was found in a dumpster three blocks off of Liberty Ave.  All Ty could think of was that this was one way to stop tricking.  But this wasn’t the way he would have picked.  The pain finally hitting him, Ty dropped to the floor and sobbed.  His body convulsed and he felt warm arms surrounding him.  But they weren’t enough.  He only wanted one set of arms to surround him, but those would never be warm again.

 

Poor Brook.


	24. Understated

There is no mistaking it; the second you are born, you live to die.  It’s a wonder why people are afraid of their end at all.  But death is easy; living is a much bigger burden, especially when having to deal with the death of someone you love.  

 

****

 

Although it was a cold, the day was sunny and bright.  The birds were chirping and there were squirrels running around chasing each other across the damp ground.  So many people were standing around, their large coats warding off the cool, sad morning.  And though the sunrise had been beautiful, no one at the graveside was paying much attention.  It was hard to, since someone they loved was waiting to be laid to rest before them.  Sadly, they could not seem to let their differences rest, and so they stood separately waiting to pay their very last visit with their loved one.

 

The separation between those that came to pay their last visit with Brook Morgan was clear.  On one side stood both Brook and Dannen’s family members and on the other stood their friends, including Dani who leaned on Brian for support.  Her eyes were reddened and she couldn’t stop shaking. She clung to her long time nemesis like she knew Brook would have done if something had ever happened to her.  Somehow Brian’s presence made everything a little bit easier, though she would never admit it.  She looked across the coffin at her grandfather and Brook’s parents.  Though they looked dazed and disbelieving, she could still feel the bitterness emanating from all of them.  

 

Dani and Brook had hid in their closets for so long; neither knew how to tell their families that they were queer.  All that would change one morbid day when Brook was murdered. His affluent status brought his death and the death of other gay men to the headlines of the local newspaper.  For Dani, there was nowhere else to hide, which was lucky, because she was too tired to hide.  She didn’t even bother looking at her grandfather’s stern face, choosing to stare at the coffin where her pseudo husband and best friend lay dead.  She was so numb she didn’t even hear the last words of the priest; she only saw the coffin’s slow descent into the earth, and so she cried.  

 

Leaning into Brian Dani sobbed, “He always worshipped you.” She pried her eyes from the coffin and looked into Brian’s, glad to see that he was paying attention, “Even when we lived in California.  He always told everyone about you and how wonderful you were.  Of course I gave him shit, but he never cared.  You were untouchable, to him.  You were always everything to him.”

 

“Shh,” Brian pleaded, though he knew it wouldn’t make a difference. 

 

“He always wanted to be just like you,” Dani continued.  It seemed like she hadn’t even heard Brian, existing for that moment in her own memories.  “Of course I hated that, but that wasn’t the point.  I guess since he couldn’t be with you, he wanted to be just like you…you know what?  I wish he had been…I mean not like you were before Justin, but like now.”

 

Dani stopped and looked at Brian, then at Justin who stood next to him.  She couldn’t stop the tears from falling, though it really didn’t matter any more.  She was going to say what she wanted to say and there was nothing that was going to stop her.  

 

“I wish he would have followed you just a little bit faster,” Dani said, turning her attention back to Brian.  “Then maybe he would have found someone to love and someone to love him…just like you did, Bri.  He always did copy you, even though it wasn’t in his nature.  He loved you.  He always did.”

 

Dani straightened Brian’s jacket then smiled.  She would never get along with Brian, but she knew that she’d always be connected to him.  Brook had a funny way of getting his way at the end, and he had always wanted her to stop bickering with Brian.  And though she couldn’t promise that much, she would always stay connected to Brian…one way or another.

 

“I loved him too,” Brian said, pulling Dani closer so she could lean on him again.  

 

Although he was never fond of saying those three words, somehow they didn’t seem enough at that moment.  The truth was that he truly loved Brook, as much as he loved Michael and Debbie and, in fact, loved Dani.  He just wasn’t good at telling anyone about it.  It was safer that way; either way, it didn’t matter with Brook dead.  In fact, he felt bad for never really saying so in the first place.  It was something he wasn’t about to allow to continue, not now.  Not with Brook descending into the earth as they stood there.

 

“I…” Brian said; his face distorted with the mere notion of having to expose his feeling.  “I, uh, um…llllll…”

 

“I know,” Dani interrupted.  She smiled, knowing what Brian was going to say, but she didn’t want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was.  Any other time she would have laughed…any other time she wouldn’t have believed him, but this wasn’t a normal time. Not that she was going to allow herself to be any more vulnerable than Brian.  “Ditto.”

 

“If there’s anything…” Brian sighed.  

 

“Maybe,” Dani replied, watching as Brook’s family poured earth into his final resting place.  She forced herself not to look at the solemn sight and pushed back the tears. Instead, she looked at Brian and grasped his arm as if she were about to fall down.  “My place is too big now…”

 

“You can buy the loft or rent it,” Brian said, immediately knowing what Dani wanted.  “Ty and Blake already told me they can’t afford to pay for the whole thing themselves.”

 

“I don’t want to put them out.”

 

“You’re not,” Brian insisted.  “I told them they could move as soon as they’ve found a new place.  Justin’s even helping them look.”

 

“That’s really sweet of him.”

 

“I think he feels bad,” Brian admitted, glancing over to Justin standing nearby.  “He really didn’t like Brook very much.”

 

“Keep him,” Dani said bluntly.  She looked into Brian’s eyes and squeezed his hand tightly.  “He loves you…and though you might not believe me…I don’t want you to buy it anytime soon.”  She smiled and couldn’t help but chuckle, “unless I’m the one who kills you.”

 

Brian smiled and kissed her on the cheek.  He glanced down at the hole where Brook was buried and sighed.  He couldn’t help but think it could have been him in that coffin. Every trick he had ever fucked, every night he vaguely remembered, flashed in his mind.  It could have been him.  But it wasn’t.  Of course it wasn’t.  He was Brian Kinney, the luckiest prick in Pittsburgh.  He had to thank his karma for that…and Justin.  Without Justin, Brian guessed, he would have been dead long ago.  No.  He was sure he would have been.

 

****

 

Head pounding and stomach aching, Ted sat at his desk wondering what other mishap could happen.  He couldn’t seem to recreate his success in the porn business and the people that had purchased his site were never happy with any similarities they perceived with his new site.   Last but not least, it seemed as if his love life had hit rock bottom.  The worst part about that was that he couldn’t get Justin out of his mind.  All Ted wanted was someone to love that would love him back, but it appeared that was never going to be.

 

“You even listening?” a scantily clad man asked, standing in front of Ted’s desk.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I asked if Blake’s coming in today,” the man clarified, looking at Ted sympathetically.

 

“No,” Ted replied, wiping his eyes.  “He’s at a funeral.”

 

“I know he’s not here,” the man continued, “but I was wondering what you thought about my idea.  I told Blake about it over a week ago.”

 

“Your idea about what?”

 

“Blake didn’t tell you?”  eaHeaHead Hhuhu

 

“Obviously not,” Ted snapped, only to wave his hand apologetically.  “Sorry.  What idea was that?”

 

“I know you’ve been having some issues with the site,” the man said, hoping the revelation wouldn’t upset his employer.  “I just thought I could help; ‘cause I was working at this site that made these tapes showing guys having sex then at their climax…one guys offs the other, and-”

 

“A snuff film?”  Ted interrupted, shaking his head in disbelief.  “I’m not going there.”

 

“No, no, no,” the employee corrected, “not the real thing.  I’ve done three and I’m still around.  It’s a total fake.  What you do is shoot two guys having sex and as one of the guy cums, he puts this gun…”  The man took out a real gun from a case and showed it to Ted, who looked in disbelief, though he didn’t stop the man in any way.  “…to the other guys head and shoots.  What the viewer doesn’t know is that he’s shooting blanks. You wouldn’t believe how many people buy shit like this.”

 

Ted took the gun from his employee and stared at it.  There was something so sick about the idea; but there was something stopping him from saying no.  He stared at the cool metal of the weapon and gripped it in his hands so naturally he startled even himself.  

 

“I wouldn’t even know where to sell shit like that,” Ted finally said, looking at his employee, “because I don’t want to get in trouble or-”

 

“I do,” the man insisted.  “For a cut, I’ll be in it myself.”

 

Ted smirked at the man then turned his attention back to the weapon.  It was lighter than he thought a gun would be, but it made no difference.  The power within it was unmistakable.  He could think of a million things he would love to do with that gun.  Ted laughed at the irony.  He guessed this would be one time Brian would never want to be at the forefront of someone’s mind.

 

****

 

Brian strolled into Woody’s with his arm around Justin and  immediately spotted the gang along with Ty, Blake, Jimmy and Nicky.  He was glad that Mel and Lindsay had taken Dani with them, because he wasn’t sure if he could handle her being so emotional.  He might have stayed with them if he had known Woody’s would end up being another wake for Brook.  

 

Brian tensed up, but Justin grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the table where the guys sat drinking.  There was but one chair so Justin took his favorite seat on top of Brian’s lap.  Both men knew their night there would be short, especially since there seemed to be occasional outbursts from one of Brook’s many lovers.  Brian sneered.  He doubted that there would be any such outpouring of grief on his behalf had anything happened to him.  Brook was just a loveable sort of guy and Brian wondered why Dani would have ever wanted him to be more like him.  It didn’t make sense but, then again, neither did Brook’s murder.

 

Dazed, Brian drank the whiskey on the rocks that seemed to appear out of nowhere.  He closed his eyes and squeezed into Justin just so that he knew he wasn’t falling over.  He felt Justin’s warm lips kiss him lightly, so he blinked and focused on his young lover.  Brian saw Justin pointing, so he followed the blond’s finger to a man who stood on a chair with a drink in his hand.  Not hearing, Brian shook his head and watched the man’s lips until sound found its way to his ear. Not that he cared to hear another eulogy for Brook, but for some reason Brian felt the need to listen, even though he knew he had missed the beginning.

 

“…he was such a kind hearted guy,” a man said, from the middle of the bar.  “He always had a way of making everyone smile, even if he was always late…” 

 

He paused as everyone chuckled and then he saw that Brian was finally paying attention.  He knew Brian would never remember, but they had had their moment in time.  In fact, most of the men at Woody’s had had their moment in time with Brian…and Brook too, for that matter.  

 

“But, I think I’m talking too much,” the man said, facing Brian and making eye contact.  “I know that Brook did, in fact, love someone just as much as he loved a good time.  Brian Kinney…”

 

Hearing his name was like a splash of cold water.  If there was one time in history Brian didn’t want to be the center of attention in, this was it.  Before he could even think about it, Justin was off his lap, encouraging him to stand up and say something.  His first instinct was to be pissed off, snap at Justin and storm out of Woody’s like the drama queen he always said Emmett was.  But as he glanced around the bar, he saw one thing that pissed him off even more.  He was the only one who really knew Brook.  Both Emmett and Ty had their own ideas and agendas when it came to Brook, though he didn’t doubt both loved him in their own ways.  

 

However, Brian was the only one who knew Brook before the rules, before the games and other stupid traps both men fell into.  While Brook was alive all those memories seemed to slip away, but as Brian stood there they rose like a phoenix once again to pay homage.  Brian smiled at the idea.  Like Brook, even he had been innocent once and in the end, they had both enjoyed life to its fullest.  Brook would have never changed a single moment and neither would he.

 

“All of you that are crying,” Brian began, glancing around to those who shed tears.  “Don’t…Brook wouldn’t be crying for you.”  He waited until the gasps and whispered died down, then cracked a knowing smile.  “Do you know what Brook would be doing right now if it were me 6 feet under?  He’d be drowning his sorrow in a sea of dicks and asses.  So if you loved Brook and want to pay respect to him and celebrate his life…you’ll find someone to go home with and fuck them senseless.”

 

“I’d love to go home with you, Brian,” a man shouted.

 

“You can’t,” another man retorted, “he’s married.”

 

Brian stood silently as giggles and snickers filled the room.  He glanced over at his table and saw a terrified look on Justin’s face.  There were a million things he wanted to say, but they all seemed lacking.  All he could do was stare at Justin and wonder when the fuck he had gotten “married” and what smart ass comment would Brook have for that moment.  

 

As Brian stared at Justin, he had a flash that only lasted for second, but seemed to calm the dread that had filled him.  Brook.  Brook was kneeling next to where Justin sat and stuck his tongue out, flicking at Justin’s ear.  It was gone before Brian could really understand what had happened, but he saw it nonetheless.  

 

“I’d rather go home with Justin than end up dead,” Brian replied, taking a deep breath.  “I’ve learned a whole shitload from all these deaths…have any of you?”

 

“I hope we have,” Emmett agreed and it seemed that most others in the room had as well.

 

“Anyway,” Brian continued with a smile.  “I know I’m going home with the best ass this side of the Mississippi and because I’m the lucky bastard that I am, I get to fuck him any time that I want.”

 

“You know it, baby!”  Justin said, standing up and displaying his posterior, squeezing both cheeks when the crowd starting hooting.  

 

“So for Brook,” Brian announced, holding up his glass.  “Go home with someone you know…” He glanced at Justin with a cool smile and added, “with all luck you might even give a shit about them…and get laid.”

 

****

 

Lindsay and Mel found out that bringing Dani back to their place and getting her to sleep was the easy part.  The more difficult part was what to do after their friend had finally been put to rest.  Not dead, but sleeping, however restlessly.  Just as restless as Mel was standing in a place that once was her home.

 

Mel felt a bit uncomfortable, having stayed at her mother’s since she and Lindsay had broken up.  Even though this was as much her home as it was Lindsay’s, Mel felt a little like an outsider.  She wanted to grab a cup of coffee, plop down on the sofa and hold Lindsay in her arms, but she knew it was no longer her place.  

 

“Stay,” Lindsay said, getting Mel’s attention.  “I put a pot of coffee on, so why don’t you stay awhile.  I could use the company.”

 

“I don’t know,” Mel replied hesitantly.  “I just think that maybe…”

 

“Please-”

 

“I’m really not in the mood,” Mel lied.  “I’m just tired.”

 

“Then stay here,” Lindsay reasoned.

 

“I know we’ve had some nice talks lately,” Mel said, glancing away from Lindsay.  “But they don’t fix everything.”

 

“OK,” Lindsay replied softly.  “Since Dani’s in our…my bed, I was going to crash on the new daybed I have upstairs in my office.  You’re welcome to join me…or…I’d just be happy that you’d stay for a while.”

 

“I’ll sleep on the sofa,” Mel remarked, sitting uneasily on the couch.

 

“The coffee will be ready in a minute or so,” Lindsay remarked as she made her way upstairs.  

 

Lindsay’s first instinct was to storm right back downstairs and beg Mel to just give her another chance.  It didn’t seem so far fetched since Lindsay had given Mel the same not so long ago.  All she could do was wonder what it was going to take to have Mel finally get past her strange feelings for Brian.  

 

However, given the options, Lindsay found herself resigned to waiting forever.  She loved Mel and there wasn’t anyone that would prevent her from being with the woman she loved.  Not even the all seductive Brian Kinney.  Lindsay smiled at the thought.  

 

“I hate to interrupt you,” Mel said, standing at the doorway holding two cups of coffee.  “I just thought you might want some.”

 

“You weren’t interrupting,” Lindsay replied happily.  “I was just waiting for you.”

 

“You knew I was coming up here?”  Mel questioned, walking into the room and handing Lindsay her cup.  “You know me better than I do, I guess.  I didn’t know I was coming up here until I started up the stairs.”

 

“No,” Lindsay corrected, putting the cup down.  “I was waiting for you, well…because I’d wait for you until the end of time…I love you, Mel.  I always have.”

 

The second Mel put down her cup their lips were locked.  Although she wanted to strip Lindsay down and lick her from head to toe, Mel knew that they had to take slow steps.  

 

“Stay with me,” Lindsay pleaded.  When she saw the look on Mel’s face, she modified her request.  “Just so that I know you’re near me.  With all this stuff that’s going on…I just…”

 

Mel kissed Lindsay once again.  There was something so comforting about the sweet taste. Apple lip gloss maybe. The taste of home.  In the end it really didn’t matter.  Lindsay loved Mel and Mel loved Lindsay.  Brian would always be a pain in Mel’s ass, but that was his job.  All that mattered was that Lindsay loved her and this tiff would just be another point at which they grew together more.  It had to be.  Mel couldn’t even imagine a life without Lindsay.

 

“Do you know what I learned standing at Brook’s funeral?”  Mel asked.  

 

“What?”

 

“Life’s too short,” Mel replied.  “Not that we’re at 100%.  We still have a lot to heal, but what’s the point if we don’t heal together?”

 

“Really?”  Lindsay wondered aloud, tears of joy making their way down her face.

 

Though Mel could have easily answered, she opted to grab Lindsay’s breasts and give them a good squeeze.  Sure she’d said to take it slow, but what was the point in that?  Mel couldn’t remember…especially after tasting the woman she loved.

 

**** 

 

Ty watched Brian toast Brook and mumbled, “I’m gonna go home and pack.”

 

“Brian said we could stay there until we found another place,” Blake replied.

 

“I meant Brook’s stuff,” Ty corrected solemnly, “especially since most of the stuff there is his.”

 

“Dani said to keep it,” Brian said, taking his seat and happily accepting Justin onto his lap.  “She doesn’t want any of it there when she moves in.”

 

“Dani’s moving into the loft?”  Emmett asked.  “What about her new place?”

 

“Apparently she’s giving up the whole _pretending to be straight_ façade,” Brian replied.  He snuggled against Justin’s soft body and added, “It’s about fucking time.”

 

“Well,” Emmett sighed, turning his attention back to Ty and Blake.  “I think you two should take the apartment downstairs from us.”

 

“Emmett!”  Michael screeched.

 

“Give it a rest, Michael,” Emmett retorted.  He took Ty’s hand in his own and continued, “It’s only a one bedroom, but I’ve already talked to the landlord.  He says that because of the circumstances, he’ll take the first month’s rent when you move in and you can pay the last month’s rent next month and the following month after that.  And the best part is that you can move in this week.”

 

“Thanks, Em,” Ty said, giving his friend a hug.  

 

“You are a saint, Em,” Justin chimed in.  

 

Ty turned to Justin and rolled his eyes just because it seemed like the right thing to do.  They shared a smile until his eyes met with Brian, then he snickered.  There was no way he wanted Justin or anyone else for that matter to think that he was going to make a play for Brian.  The longer the couple were together, the more Ty found out that Brian and Justin’s relationship was stabilizing the group.  Ty needed the stability, he always did.  

 

“I need a drink,” the bleached blond declared, standing up and heading to the bar.  

 

Ty ordered a scotch straight up and strolled back to the table, eyes catching then focusing on a man standing alone at the back of Woody’s.  He sat down next to Emmett, wondering where he had seen the man before.  

 

“What’cha looking at, sweetie?”  Emmett asked, seeing Ty’s attention elsewhere.  When he saw the man, he raised an eyebrow and added, “He’s kinda cute…a little understated, but cute.”

 

The moment the words came out of Emmett’s mouth, Ty put down his drink and walked over to the man.  Emmett hadn’t even realized what he said until Michael made a comment that stunned everyone in the group.

 

“That guy looks like the guy Brook left with at Babylon,” Michael said, staring at the man Ty was now talking to.  

 

“You mean the last guy Brook was seen talking to before…” Justin stuttered, keeping Ty in sight.  “…you know.”

 

“Brook was murdered,” Emmett finished.  

 

“Yeah that’s the guy,” Michael conceded.  “Ty’s friend Jordan said that the guy before Brook was last seen with an understated guy that had brown hair, brown eyes that was kinda cute. Understated, but cute.”

 

“And that’s the last guy seen with Brook before he…died?”  Justin asked.

 

“That’s most definitely him,” Michael confirmed.  “I was walking up to Ty when Brook left with him.”

 

“What the fuck is he doing?”  Brian wondered aloud, seeing Ty take the man’s arm and head towards the front door.

 

“Maybe they’re trying to find a seat,” Emmett reasoned.  “Maybe he figures he can get some information outta the guy or something.  He has been doing the sleuth thing with Michael lately.”

 

“Just as long as he doesn’t leave Woody’s,” Blake said, looking to Justin to confirm that someone had heard him.  “Right?”

 

“Right,” Justin answered hesitantly.  He squeezed Brian’s arm, getting his lover’s attention.  He didn’t have anything to say, though he knew his worried expression would relate volumes. 

 

Brian tried to ease Justin’s worry by stroking his face.  It wasn’t easing Justin’s concern, but the contact seemed to make him feel a touch better.  He smiled seeing Justin mouth the words, ‘You love me’, and so he mouthed back, ‘Of course’.  That seemed to do the trick.  Sadly, it wouldn’t for long.

 

“What is he doing?”  Emmett asked, shaking Brian out of his silent reverie.  

 

Brian looked to where Ty had been standing and found the blond no longer there.  When he glanced around to the front door, all he saw that the back of Ty’s head leaving.  He had no clue what the hell Ty was thinking, but there was no way this was going to happen again.  Not if he had anything to do with it.

 

Brian jumped up so fast, he almost knocked Justin over.  He pushed his way through the crowd at Woody’s until he got outside only to see that he was too late.  Ty was in the passenger seat of a car driving past them.  He faintly heard someone scream ‘license plate’ and looked over to see Jimmy writing something down.  

 

“Jimmy you get the license plate number?”  Brian asked, still staring at the car.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Call Carl,” Brian ordered running to his jeep nearby.  He saw that Justin was following him and he immediately demanded, “Go back inside and call Mel and Linds’ place.  Dani has to know what’s going on!”

 

“I’m going with you!”

 

Brian got in his car along with Michael and Nicky and screamed out, “Just do it,” before screeching away after Ty.  

 

Justin watched as Brian drove off wondering what just happened.  He felt Jimmy’s arm pull him towards Woody’s and saw the dread in both his and Emmett’s eyes.  He hoped Ty was wrong.  He hoped they were all wrong.  There were a million understated men in America.  Most of whom weren’t murderers.  He hoped this was one of them.  No, he prayed.  


	25. The End

To every beginning there must be an end.  Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, but most of the time it’s somewhere in between.  This story began with a prediction and so shall it end…the end won’t be what you expect.  It usually never is.

 

****

 

Ty stood in a room waiting for the man to return.  The understated yet attractive man who called himself Jeff.  Ty glanced around the modestly decorated place and wondered if it was the last that Brook had ever seen.  Unsure of what to do, Ty sat and memorized the different ways out of the large room: door to the hallway, sliding glass door and three windows.  There was also a phone and some pictures of Jeff with a woman and two and half kids.  Figured. 

 

The man was repressed and that only filled Ty with dread.  Although it might not look like it, he watched the news and programs on A&E.  He especially loved CSI, so he made sure to touch everywhere he could and pulled out some of his hair, sticking it in odd places.  Just in case.  He hoped it would never be needed.  

 

Ty smiled when Jeff walked back in and took the drink offered to him.  He was parched, but something told him that drinking it would be a bad idea.  Ty simply put the drink to his mouth and pretended to sip, only to begin babbling about anything that came to mind.  

 

It soon became clear that Jeff wasn’t interested in chatter.  He was interested in Ty.  He didn’t even have to say so; Ty could see it in his eyes.  Jeff’s eyes were hungry and Ty was the meal.  The only question was what sort of meal was Ty going to be?

 

****

 

Emmett sat at a table in a corner at Woody’s.  Jimmy was on the phone with Carl and Justin with Dani.  He hated being all alone and was happy when Mysterious Marilyn joined him.  

 

“You were right,” Emmett said, thinking about the events since he was first given the predictions.  “All of them came true.  Poor Brook, they all came true.”

 

Marilyn thought about Emmett’s comment for a while before pressing her finger to her forehead and humming, “Mmm nope.”

 

“What do you mean ‘nope’?”

 

“Nope as in all of the predictions haven’t come true yet,” Marilyn clarified.  “Your cards haven’t been played out, but it looks like they’re about to be.”

 

“What are you talking about?”  Emmett gasped.  “Brook’s dead, Brian and Justin are back together, Deb and Carl are engaged, Teddy and I broke up…what else do you want?”

 

“A year round tan and a sex god to give me foot massages,” Marilyn jested.  When she saw her quip had little effect, she took Emmett’s hand in her own and tried to explain it to him.  “If I’m correct, and I usually am, you didn’t even know Brook when I gave those predictions.  You’re right on some levels, but there are a few of the cards that still need to be played out.”

 

“Including the death card?”  Emmett wondered aloud.

 

“Sadly.”

 

****    

 

Ted called for a wrap after the gunshot rang through the office.  He wasn’t entirely sure he believed the end result, but he felt he could edit it until it looked real enough for him.  

 

“How’d it turn out, boss?”  

 

“Fine,” Ted replied, watching as his faithful employee put the gun away.  “Though I’m not so sure the gun fire sounds right.  I might need a couple more takes on that.”

 

“You need me?”

 

“Naw,” Ted said, turning his attention back to the screen before him.  “But it wouldn’t hurt to have the gun around.”

 

“No problem,” the employee answered.  “It’s still filled with blanks and if you need them, there are more in the case.  They’re the ones with the blue band on them.  The other bullets are real.  It’s probably better you not use them.”

 

“Yeah,” Ted laughed.  “In fact, I’m going to keep it in my office.”

 

Ted picked up the case and walked to his office in the back and locked the door.  He sat at his desk and opened the case, exposing the gun.  Running his hand across the barrel, he sighed thinking what a coincidence it was to have it there.  It was fate.  He picked up the gun and ejected the clip.  He then removed the Styrofoam padding to get to the bullets underneath.  The ones without the blue band.  It was like fate.  

 

**** 

 

“You must remember the cards,” Marilyn reminded Emmett.  

 

Emmett sighed, not wanting to be tested as if he were back in High School.  He glanced over at Jimmy and Justin who were both still on the phone and wondered what could be taking them so long.  They were simple phone calls to update people, not an A&E Autobiography on the husbands of Elizabeth Taylor.  Emmett would have rather talked about something else, but the truth was it would be in the back of his mind until the death card played itself out.  He just wasn’t sure he could handle another death…there had been too many already.

 

“OK,” Emmett submitted.  “There was The Lovers, which was Brian and Justin reuniting…”

 

“Yes,” Marilyn agreed.

 

“Then there was the reversed Five of Cups,” Emmett continued, “Which was an old friend coming back to town…namely Dani and Brook.”

 

“Mmhmm.”

 

“The Two of Cups meant an engagement,” Emmett said, “which was Deb and Carl.  The reversed Knight of Wands was me and Teddy breaking up….or Justin and Ethan breaking up…or Michael and Ben breaking up…”

 

“All of the above,” Marilyn interrupted.

 

“Then there was the harmony one,” Emmett recalled.  “Which one was that again?”

 

“I believe that was the Four of Cups,” Marilyn answered.  “That card means that someone will achieve a state of harmony.  That’s going to happen very soon.”

 

“I’d like to have some of that,” Emmett sighed.  “I wonder who that’s going to happen to, cause I haven’t seen any of that recently.”

 

“It’s going to happen,” Marilyn reassured him.  “If it’s not happening already.”

 

****

 

Mel walked back to the daybed where Lindsay lay covered only by a flimsy sheet.  She took off her robe, eager to press her naked body against Lindsay’s once again.  It had been too long and it seemed as they were going to make up for that lost time that night.  Mel pressed kisses on Lindsay’s neck until she was interrupted by another phone call.  It was the fourth one in the last five minutes and it was starting to piss her off.

 

Reminded by Lindsay that Dani was trying to sleep, Mel got back up, put on her robe and headed downstairs.  By the time she got to the phone she found that Dani had already picked it up.  It was clear the call was for her by the frantic way Dani was shaking her head and writing on a piece of paper.  As soon as she got off the phone, Mel asked what was going on, but all Dani said was that it was work related.  Mel tried to convince the grieving woman that she should put work aside for today, but Dani was having none of it.  

 

“She said it was important and she was out the door before I could say anything else,” Mel claimed the second she went back upstairs.  

 

“I wonder what that was about,” Lindsay replied, getting up and putting on her robe.  “She really should be taking it easy.”

 

“I guess we should take this to our bedroom,” Mel purred, wrapping her arms around her lover.  

 

“I have a better idea.”

 

“A better idea that making love all night?” Mel chuckled.  “I’d like to hear this.”

 

“You check on Gus,” Lindsay explained, “while I take a drive.”

 

“How’s that better?”

 

“We don’t have any whipped cream or champagne,” Lindsay reasoned.  

 

Mel remembered the last time they had whipped cream and champagne and smiled.  How could she say no to a proposition like that?  

 

****

  

“At least someone will be happy,” Emmett sighed.  “I hope they take full advantage of it.”

 

“Take full advantage of what?”  Justin asked, approaching the pair.  

 

“A state of harmony,” Marilyn replied.

 

“We could use some of that right now,” Justin said, glancing around the bar and noticing Jimmy on the phone.  He looked a little harder, then staring when he didn’t find who he was looking for.  “Where’s Blake?”

 

“I haven’t seen him since Ty ran off with a serial killer,” Emmett responded, glancing around the bar.  “Have you?”

 

“No.”

 

“I called Carl and had the license plate run,” Jimmy announced as he trotted up to the group.  “He’s sending over a bunch of police cars just in case, though I had to convince him we weren’t being just a bunch of drama queens.”

 

“Have you seen Blake?”  Justin asked Jimmy, who immediately shook his head ‘no’.  “We haven’t seen him since Ty went off with that guy. I’m worried about him.”

 

“Don’t worry, he’s going to be just fine,” Jimmy tried to reassure Justin.  “We’ll get word from Brian and Michael then we’ll make sure Blake’s fine…which I’m sure he is.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Emmett sighed, shaking his head.  “We still have to depressing cards to go…the one about the suicide and the death card.”

 

“Don’t say that, Emmett,” Justin said.

 

“It’s true,” Emmett replied, pointing to Marilyn.

 

Marilyn turned her attention to Justin and nodded her head ‘yes’.  She took the blond’s hand in her own and tried to give him some sort of good news.  “Your ‘last time’ is really going to be your last time.  His focus is going to be centered very soon.  Not that he’s going to stop thinking about and wanting sex…he’s just going to get it from you…and the dildo you bought…”

 

“How did you?”  Justin started only to stop, his mouth wide open in shock.

 

Justin looked at Emmett only to have his friend reply, “the possible suicide card and the death card are still left to be played out.”

 

**** 

 

Brian drove along a dark road until he reached a fork leading in three different directions.  He tried to follow where the car might have turned, but lost track when it started to rain.  He drove down the right path until his way was blocked by a gated fence.  He then tried the middle and left way only to find that each road led to a home.  There was nowhere else to go…or so it seemed.

 

“We should call the police,” Michael suggested, from where he sat in the back seat.  

 

“And tell them what?”  Brian snorted.  “Our friend went off to fuck some guy hoping it was the serial killer who murdered his lover?”

 

Michael heard the absurdity of the statement, but to him, it was better to say that than say nothing at all.  “Yeah,” he replied, though without much conviction.

 

“What are you thinking?”  Nicky asked, watching Brian eye each road.

 

“I think we should call the cops and then wait for them,” Michael answered.

 

“Ty might be in danger right now,” Nicky snapped.  “We have to do something.”

 

“Sure,” Michael agreed, “let’s call the police!”

 

“I agree,” Brian replied, and Michael sighed, relieved.  However, it was short lived when Brian shoved his cell phone in Michael’s hand.  “Call the police and then call Justin.”

 

“What are you going to do?”  Michael asked and immediately got his answer when Brian got out of the car.

 

The moment Brian got out, Nicky joined him.  Brian pointed to the middle road and Nicky pointed to the left.  After lifting his jacket over his head, Brian waved his hand to Michael and set off down the road.

 

“What is he going to do?”  Michael wondered aloud.  “Pole vault over the gate using his dick?”  Michael slouched in his seat and stared down the dark driveways.  “Yeah right…”

 

Michael called Justin and tried to talk only to be cut off after only a few seconds.  He tried a few more times until he resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to get through.  He cursed under his breath, opened the door only to close it when the cool air and rain hit him.  

 

“Fuck it,” he mumbled getting out of the car and running down the right driveway.

 

****

 

“Brian?”  Justin screeched into the phone but it was no use.  There was too much static on the line.  

 

“I hope something hasn’t happened,” Emmett sighed pessimistically.  

 

“Don’t say that,” Justin snapped.  “Brian is coming back to me.”

 

“Damn right he is,” Jimmy agreed.  

 

“Suicide and death,” Emmett mumbled.  “I feel so guilty.”

 

Justin looked at Emmett and wanted to hold him and slap him at the same time.  It seemed as if Emmett was getting more depressed by the second and he was dragging Justin down along with him.  Now all Justin could think about was Brian and the possibility of something bad happening to the man he loved.  He shook his head.  No way.  Brian wasn’t going to die and he sure as hell wasn’t going to kill himself.

 

****

 

Ted opened his eyes to see tears dampening the papers on his desk.  He wiped them away with one hand while the other held the gun.  A million of his failures filled his mind, but one stood out amongst them.  Love…or the lack thereof.  What was the point of existing when there wasn’t someone to exist with?  There had to be a point, only Ted couldn’t think of what it was.  It seemed like every man he fell in love with couldn’t or wouldn’t love him back.  At one point it almost felt like he was pursuing the type of man who wasn’t capable of loving or committing to him.  The list started with Michael and ended with Justin.  And that hurt him even more.  Now he had to find a way to exist with the men who broke his heart.  It didn’t matter that they never intended to do so; the pain was there just the same.  And all Ted wanted to do was to stop the pain…so he lifted the gun to his head and prayed.

 

****

 

Brian ran back to the fork in the road and looked into his jeep to find Michael missing.  Not long after, Nicky returned to tell him that the house he went to had a slumber party full of elementary school kids.  Brian explained the house he went to had a black family that were none too pleased to have someone jump over their gated fence.  

 

“Where’s Michael?”  Nicky asked, spitting water from his mouth.  

 

Both men were soaked and more than a little miserable.  However, their focus wasn’t entirely on themselves.  Ty was still with someone they thought could be a serial killer and Michael was now missing.  

 

“Fuck!”  Brian snapped.

 

****

 

Ty opened his eyes, wondering what was happening.  The last thing he could remember was telling Jeff that maybe he should leave.  Everything after that was blank.  He tried to move only to realize that his head was throbbing and his arms and legs were bound to the corners of a four post bed.  He was laying belly down, gagged…and crying.  A cool breeze made the hairs on the back of his legs stand up which made Ty realize that he was naked.  What the fuck did he just walk into?

 

He turned his head to see Jeff strolling towards him nude, wrapping a phone cord around his fist.  Ty wailed against his gag, but it didn’t make a difference.  All he could do was watch as Jeff sheathed himself with a condom and moved behind him.  He grunted and closed his eyes when Jeff entered him. Initially he didn’t struggle, but all that changed when he felt the phone cord wrap around his neck.  

 

“It’s going to feel so good,” Jeff groaned, tightening the cord.  “This is going to be the best fuck of your life.”

 

****

 

“This isn’t the end,” Justin told Emmett.  “We have to stay positive.”

 

“It’s the end for someone,” Emmett reasoned.

 

“Not for Brian,” Justin said, holding onto his friend.

 

“Then for who?”

 

****

 

Ted squeezed the trigger only to hear a voice pleading with him to stop.  It almost seemed like a dream until he opened his eyes to see Blake standing there.  It might have been the tears blurring his vision but, to Ted, Blake looked like an angel.  

 

“Don’t you dare,” Blake said, moving towards Ted.  He put his set of keys on the desk and approached his employer and former boyfriend slowly.  

 

“Go away!”

 

“Why would you do this?!”

 

“You don’t know!”  Ted screamed, tears flowing uncontrolled.

 

“I know I love you,” Blake replied calmly.  “I know you gave a shit about me when no one else did.  I know you love people that don’t always love you back.”

 

Blake wrapped his arms around Ted and allowed the man to cry.  He heaved a sigh of relief when Ted put down the gun and held onto Blake, sobbing unrestrained.  

 

“You helped me, once,” Blake said, rocking Ted back and forth.  “I think it’s about time I repay the favor…would you let me do that?”

 

Ted shook his head both yes and no.  He was so confused, until he looked into Blake’s eyes.  Ted sighed, feeling a weight being lifted from his shoulders and he sunk into Blake’s warm arms.  Maybe he didn’t want to die after all.  He wanted to be saved.  He was just glad someone was there to save him before it was too late.

 

**** 

 

“Only two more depressing cards left,” Emmett sighed, holding onto Justin.  “Those and that harmony one.”

 

“Not exactly,” Marilyn said.  “You forgot one other.”

 

“Which one was that?”  Emmett asked.

 

“The Knight of Swords,” Marilyn replied.  “That’s a very good card and it’s unusual how it all played out in the end.”

 

“It’s played out?”  Emmett wondered aloud.

 

“The Knight of Swords?”  Justin asked.  “What does that do?”

 

“I can’t believe you two are taking this seriously,” Jimmy scoffed.

 

Emmett and Justin turned and snapped, “Shhh!”

 

****

 

When Michael first approached the house he thought it might have been empty.  It wasn’t until he saw a light turned on upstairs that he knew that there was someone inside.  He was about to knock on the door when he saw the ‘attractive yet understated’ man walking around the house nude.  Not knowing what to do, he checked around the house and found one of the windows open.  Taking a page out of Ty’s book on breaking and entering, he climbed inside, creeping around to see if indeed Ty was in trouble once again or just getting fucked.  

 

Michael rolled his eyes when he heard grunting, but he crept up the stairs nonetheless.  All he wanted was a visual confirmation that Ty was having a good time, so he could go home and get dry.  What he saw was something else altogether and most definitely something he wasn’t prepared for.  

 

It was clear that Ty was struggling, but what shocked Michael the most was the man seemed to be strangling the blond.  Panicking, Michael grabbed the first thing he could find (a vanity chair) and hit the man on the back of the head, knocking Ty’s assailant out cold.  But Michael was no fool.  He had seen his fair share of horror movies, so he hit the man a few more times just to be on the safe side.

 

Michael wrapped a blanket around Ty, and then freed him from his binds. He cuddled Ty in his arms and waited until he heard Brian and Nicky scream his name and pound on the front door.  However, he didn’t move.  He held Ty and waited until he saw the flashing lights of the police cruisers.  

 

“We’re saved now?”  Ty cried.

 

“We are.”

 

****

 

“Blake’s with Ted,” Deb announced the second she opened the door to see Justin, Emmett and Jimmy.  “He called me to ask how everything’s going with Ty.”

 

“They found Ty?”  Emmett asked.

 

Deb forced a smile and nodded.  “And the serial killer.”

 

“Oh my God,” Emmett gasped.

 

“He’s alive,” Deb quickly said before anyone could think otherwise.  “He’s hurt, but I’m told he’ll be fine.  He will need our love and support.  He’s been through some very traumatic events.”

 

“And Brian?”  Justin asked.

 

“He’s fine,” Deb answered.  “He said that Michael saved Ty from the killer.  Just in the knick of time, from what Brian says.”

 

“The Knight of Swords,” Emmett said.  “Michael saved Ty’s life.  That just leaves two left.”

 

“Two what?” Deb asked.

 

“Predictions,” Jimmy snorted.

 

“Are we still on that?”  Deb wondered aloud, shaking her head.  

 

“Both of them are,” Jimmy said.  “Now all we need is someone to try to commit suicide and someone to die…like that’s going to happen.”

 

“Holy fucking shit,” Deb spat out.  

 

“What?!”  Both Justin and Emmett asked.

 

“Ted-”

 

“Ted what?”  Emmett interrupted.  “He didn’t…Oh no!”

 

“No, no, no,” Deb said.  “But Blake says…well, that Ted might have tried.”

 

“To kill himself?”  Justin gasped.

 

“It was a cry for help,” Deb clarified.  “Blake says that Ted wants his help and that if they need any of ours he’ll give me a call.”

 

“Are you sure?”  Emmett asked.

 

“I would have talked to Ted myself, but I didn’t want to make him feel any worse than he already does,” Deb answered.  “Blake says he’s staying with Ted tonight so the disaster has been avoided.”

 

“Until the last one,” Emmett sighed.  “Then it will be the end.”

 

****

 

It had been a long night, but Justin and Brian were happy to be home.  First thing was first and they took Ty up to one of the guest bedrooms where Justin stayed while Ty showered.  Although Ty had explained it wasn’t the first time he had been raped, Justin felt an obligation to make sure his former rival was as comfortable as possible.  Only when Ty dozed off did Justin feel that he could leave his side.

 

“He asleep?”  Brian asked after taking a shot of whiskey.

 

“Yeah,” Justin answered, hugging him tightly.  “I think he’ll be ok…sooner or later.”

 

“He will,” Brian replied softly.  “He has a family to take care of him now.”

 

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes, a little surprised by the declaration.  He wasn’t entirely sure what had happened at the house, but it had affected Brian…hell, it had even affected Justin and he hadn’t been anywhere near there.  All Justin knew was that there were tears in Brian’s eyes.

 

“I love you,” Brian whispered.

 

“I love you too.”

 

****

 

Michael dried his hair with a towel then cuddled into bed with Jimmy.  There was nowhere else he’d rather be in the world, then safe at home with the man he loved. Safe was the optimal word, one he often took for granted, but today wasn’t an ordinary day.  In fact, all the rest of his days would be different. 

 

Emmett slept in his room nearby with Nicky.  Both had fallen asleep quickly once Nicky had dried himself off.  There were echoes of predictions on Emmett’s mind, but none that he took with him to dreamland.  Everyone that he loved was safe at home and that’s what was important. 

 

****

 

Ted and Blake stayed up all night drinking coffee and talking.  Not about life, but about the simpler things that most people overlooked.  Like the way a morning smells after it rains, how bright the stars look on a clear night or how good French fries taste when they’re right out of the deep fryer.  It was just one step, but it put a smile on both of their faces and that was just as important as putting the gun back into its case.

 

****

 

Mel kissed Gus’ forehead and walked downstairs when she heard a knock at the door.  She was glad that Dani had returned, but there was something inside of her that wanted the main bed for a little make up time with Lindsay.

 

“I’m so-” Mel began, opening the door to find a police officer standing on the other side.

 

Mel listened and immediately dropped to the floor.  All she heard was ‘car accident’, ‘hydroplane’, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Lindsay Peterson died’.  All she could do was scream.  She and Lindsay had barely had their time and this was it.  There wouldn’t be any more.  This was the end.


End file.
